I nod, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Welcome, sweetheart.” He gives my forehead a kiss before I move away. “Anything for you.”
The butterflies and hummingbirds in my belly feel like they might break out at any moment, they’re fluttering that hard.
Mira and I walk over to the table—the one that’s already set, thanks to Mr. Rockstar. I put her in her chair, tie her bib, and click the tray in place. After putting a few pieces of cereal on her tray, I walk back over to the kitchen.
“I said I was gonna bring it.” Hudson shakes his head before handing me a plate with toast and a bowl full of scrambled eggs, while he snatches up the plate of pancakes and a bowl of fresh fruit.
“I know, but I want to help.” Everything smells delicious, and I inhale deeply. “It looks yummy. You didn’t have to make all of this.”
He blinks at me. “I know, but I wanted to. Now, let’s go and sit down before it gets cold. I’ll feed Mira.”
Bossy rockstar. “Okay.”
I sit down in my chair and watch Hudson as he heads back into the kitchen to get Mirabelle’s bowl. Once he’s seated, he starts feeding Mira her oatmeal while eating his own food at the same time.
Stopping mid-bite, he looks over at me. “What’s wrong? You haven’t touched your food yet.”
“Oh,” is all that comes out of my mouth before I shake myself out of my trance. “Sorry, I was just lost in thought. I guess I’m still amazed that you take such good care of not only me, but Mira especially.”
He puts his fork down. “Does that bother you? Am I taking over too much? I never meant to push you out of the way.”
“What? No, no. That’s not at all what I meant.” But what exactly am I going to tell him? That I’m still afraid this is all just a dream I’ll wake up from at some point because let’s be real, Hudson seems like the perfect guy. I don’t think I’m not worthy of a great guy, but I also know—sadly, firsthand—that not every guy wants a woman who comes with a baby in tow. It’s a lot to take on. “You’re amazing, that’s all. I just have those moments when it hits me, and I’m not always sure what I did to deserve you.”
Self-doubt is a total bitch, creeping in at the worst and utterly unwanted times, and I hate her from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my brain to escape those thoughts, for a little while, at least, but I think we all just do our best to move on from them.
“I keep asking myself the same thing.” His voice is soft and gentle, as he cocks his head to the side and reaches out to touch my hand. “Without a doubt, you two are the very best things that have ever happened to me, and I don’t want you to ever doubt that for even a moment, all right?”
I nod, my emotions clogging up my throat too much to speak.
After squeezing my hand, he gives me a small smile. “Now, let’s eat up, there’s something I want to show you.”
I totally forgot about that, and give him a small smile. “Okay.”
Once we’re done with breakfast and everything is cleaned up, Hudson leads us upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms. I’ve never been in here, except that one time when Hannah put a few of our things in here we didn’t need.
When Hudson opens the door for us and walks in, I’m confused at what I’m seeing. Half the open space is covered in all sorts of baby things. Lots and lots of boxes and unpacked items.
I close the door after us so Mira can’t get out before walking over to him. “What is all of this?”
“Well”—he scratches the back of his neck and grimaces when he looks at me—“I came in here this morning to get our suitcases for the wedding next week, and stumbled across a few boxes in the back of the closet that I’d totally forgotten about.”
Clearing his throat, he opens his arms toward the big pile in front of us. “This is the result of me going overboard when I thought I was going to be a dad soon last year. Obviously, I can easily see now that I went a little crazy. I put all of the stuff in the corner of the closet after Addy and I broke up and just tried to forget about it.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure what else to say. Seeing this huge heap in front of us makes my heart hurt once more for Hudson. That stupid excuse of a woman. I’ll never understand how she could do that to him, especially since she knew how much he wanted to be a father.
I stay quiet, but take his hand in mine to let him know I’m right here for him.
“Maybe I should’ve returned things last year, or donated them, but I guess I wasn’t ready to let go of it yet.” He turns around to face me while Mira is inspecting everything at our feet. His eyes are full of emotions when he looks at me. “If it’s okay with you, though, I’d like to give a few things to Mira. There are a lot of items for little babies, but some are for toddlers and little kids too. I can put the baby stuff away again, but thought I could give some of it to Dahlia for her art classes. I’m sure the little kiddos would be thrilled to have something to play with while they wait for their classes to start.”
“I bet they’d love that.” Seeing him like this is doing something to my heart, something permanent no one can ever undo or change. Looking down at Mira, I smile. “And I bet she’ll be happy about a few new toys too.”
“Perfect.”
He’s letting go of his own troubled past that hurt him so much because he wants to make all these other kids, and my little girl, happy instead. And who am I kidding, Hudson and Mira have each other so tightly wrapped around their fingers that she’s well on her way—if not already there—of becoming his little girl too.
I’m in so deeply, I’m not sure there’s ever going to be a way out for me again—not that I’d want that.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Knowing about Hudson being famous is one thing, but actually experiencing it firsthand, is totally different. Not only did his fame hit me in the face like a bat out of hell, but also his wealth, and I’m not sure I can ever get used to either.
I definitely know I wasn’t prepared for what was waiting for me on our trip to Los Angeles for the wedding—not one bit.
Hudson had to all but drag me onto the airplane when I noticed it was a private jet. I stood there, frozen, not knowing where to look first. He quickly told me it wasn’t his, just a loan from a friend—as if that would make it all better.
Okay, maybe it did make a teeny bit of a difference.
Once we landed in L.A., we were joined by two huge bodyguards—Tommy and Mason—who didn’t leave our sides as we made our way to the super popular hotel. They both tried their best to keep us as guarded from the paparazzi as possible, who seemed to be expecting us at the back entrance of the hotel when we arrived.
When we finally make it to our hotel room, I feel like I’ve been taken through the wringer.
After putting away our most important things, I plop down on the huge bed with Mira, looking around the ginormous suite we’re staying in, and let out the biggest sigh ever. “What a trip.”
Hudson is quiet, studying me like he’s been doing ever since we left the house. I’m not sure if he thought I wouldn’t notice his eyes on me, but I feel them constantly.
He walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed, making sure Mira won’t fall off. “You’re okay? Getting into the hotel was a bit more intense than I thought it would be. They told us there wouldn’t be any photographers at the back.”
Mira hoists herself up on my belly, moving her little hips and dancing to some sort of rhythm only she can hear.
“Hi, sweetie.” I brush back the hair that keeps falling into her face before I try to secure the little hair tie at the top of her head again.
Hannah offered to babysit Mira so we could go to L.A. by ourselves, but Hudson all but insisted we bring her, which made me happy. I don’t think it would’ve sat well with me to just leave her back home like that. I already feel guilty enough for spending so much time away from her, with all the bakery stuff going on.
Except, I’ve been neglecting tha
t too, since things got more serious between Hudson and me. Thankfully, I wasn’t in an extreme rush with the bakery anyway, so I just pushed the opening back a little. Now it’s only a week away, right after Mira’s first birthday. I thought it would be fun.
“Do you already regret coming here?” Hudson’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I look up at his face. If he frowns any more, those lines will be etched in his skin forever.
Snatching Mira, I snuggle her to my chest and look over her shoulder at Hudson. “Stop worrying so much. I thought that was my job.”
He exhales in a half-huff, half-chuckle, and I realize he already seems to be in a funk about it.
Is that why he’s been watching me so intently this whole trip? To gauge my reaction?
Is he expecting me to freak out?
Reaching out, I snatch his hand from his bouncing leg and intertwine it with mine. “We’re here, and we’re gonna have fun watching your friend tie the knot, all right?”
One corner of his mouth pulls up before it morphs into a small smile. “Yeah. I think I’ve been gone for too long already from all of this, so it’s stressing me out more than usual. I can’t handle the thought of one of those paparazzi douchebags looking at you the wrong way, or making a rude remark.”
“Hey. I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself.”
“I know.” His fingers play with mine as he avoids my gaze. “I still don’t like it.”
“Hudson.”
His gaze snaps up to mine, and the vulnerability is clear as day.
I pull my hand from his and brush it over his cheek. “I’m here because of you. You’re what’s important in this whole scenario, not any of the other stuff. But I’ll get used to that too.”
Mira chooses that moment to lean her head back and yawn. Poor thing hasn’t slept since we left the house this morning.
Hudson kisses Mira’s forehead before getting off the bed. “Why don’t you put her down, and I’ll jump into the shower quickly.”
I nod. “Sounds good.” I get up but pause before going into Mira’s adjacent room. “Okay, remind me again. The rehearsal dinner is at five tonight, and the wedding starts at eleven tomorrow?”
“Yup.”
“Is that normal to have a wedding that early? I’ve never been to one before.”
He drops the hem of his T-shirt he’d just started to lift.
Dang it. Bad timing.
It never gets old to see him without clothes.
Hudson walks over to me, tilting his head to the side. “You’ve never been to a wedding before? Really?”
Shaking my head, I shrug my shoulders, making Mira move around in the process. “Nope. Never known anyone pregnant either—in case you were wondering.”
Closing his eyes for a moment, he smirks at me. “Smartass. I guess I’ve just never thought about the possibility that not everyone’s going to these things.”
He’s close enough that Mira can smack him in the face before she does the same to me. Hudson snatches her little hand and showers it with kisses. “Someone’s getting grumpy, better get her to bed fast.” After another kiss for Mira on the cheek, he leans in to give me a quick peck too—but not before Mira smacks him over the head one more time. “Save me from this wild baby. I’ll see you in a minute.”
This time, I don’t interrupt him as he pulls up his shirt, tossing it on the bed on his way to the bathroom. Mira’s whimper makes me sigh, my focus snapping back to her as we make our way into her temporary room.
She passes out the second her head hits the mattress, and with the baby monitor in hand, I rush back into our room, making a straight beeline for the bathroom. Thankfully, Hudson’s been taking his time. After I manage to strip off my clothes in record time, I step into the shower behind him.
He sighs loudly when I slip my hands around his middle, kissing and nipping at his back until he turns around. His hands cup my cheeks as he pulls me into him, his hardness pushing into my belly. With his hands, mouth, and tongue everywhere, I’m hot and ready in no time at all, feeling like I might combust at any moment. Hudson seems to feel the same when he whispers, “I need you,” in my ear.
A minute later, I’m hoisted up against the shower wall, listening to Hudson’s guttural grunts as he pushes himself into me, over and over. Thank goodness we had the whole birth control talk last week. I’ve quickly realized having sex without a barrier between us brings the experience to a whole new level. It still surprises me every single time how good it feels.
Hours later, I’m holding my belly, unable to remember the last time I laughed this much. The rehearsal dinner has been a ton of fun, way more than I expected. Most people have already left, leaving only us and Hudson’s band members, plus their significant others.
Hudson just told everyone how we met, even though I’m still not sure why. Not only did I attack him, but I also didn’t recognize him. You’d think that’s something he wouldn’t want to tell his friends, but here he is, with the biggest smile on his face while everyone around the table howls with laughter.
Jodie—the bride-to-be—clasps my arm while wiping tears away. “This has got to be the cutest and funniest way anyone has ever met.” The others around the table calm down and start talking about something else while Jodie continues her conversation with me, her voice hushed. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I’m so happy Hudson’s found you—both of you.” She looks at Mira, who’s happily bouncing on one of my legs. “I’ve never seen him this happy, and even though the guys try to be all tough and manly, I know they’re thrilled for him too.”
“Thank you.” I give her a smile that I hope shows my gratitude. I’ve tried really hard to hide it from Hudson, but my nerves were pretty shot at having to face the very people he usually spends most of his time with.
Worrying about fitting in, and people liking and accepting you never seems to get easier, no matter how old you get. Sometimes, it even seems to get worse.
She squeezes my arm again before letting go. “You guys make a great couple, and I’m so glad I finally got to meet you.” Her mouth stays open like she wants to say more, but she’s interrupted by a loud noise.
My eyes go wide, and my head automatically snaps over to look at Hudson.
A silent moment passes between us, where I’m still trying to figure out if I should be mortified or laugh about what’s happening.
Hudson’s lips are pressed together, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Was that what I think it was?”
We both look at Mira and her tomato-red face as she’s grunting, clearly preoccupied.
Hudson claps his hands together before pushing his chair back. “Well, guys. This was fun, but it looks like we just got our cue to leave.”
Just then, Mira lets out another groan, and it feels like her little bum is vibrating on my leg.
Poor baby. Pooping when you’re sitting on something just seems to be the most uncomfortable thing ever, yet it’s her favorite position to do it in.
Everyone around the table laughs as they catch on to what’s going on, and we quickly say our goodnights. We make our way out of there and back up to our room as fast as we can before we start stinking up the whole place.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hudson rubs my back for what must be the three hundredth time today.
Nodding through my sniffles, I see him biting his cheek and have to chuckle. “Stop it.”
“What?” He’s laughing now, holding out his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.” I wipe at my eyes, crossing my fingers I don’t look like a raccoon, or worse. “Plus, it’s not really my fault, you know?”
He shakes his head, trying to keep a straight face. “Of course not.”
Gosh, he’s so freaking cute, I could kiss his face all day long. I would, if it wasn’t for a baby in my arms, and the fact we’re currently standing in the hotel lobby. I needed a moment to collect myse
lf after witnessing the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever seen before we head to the wedding reception. “It was so much better than it is in books or movies. I mean, gosh, did you see them?”
Hudson wraps his arm around me and gives my forehead a kiss, quietly grinning against my skin. “I did see them. It was a great wedding.”
I sigh loudly, leaning into his body, and let the familiar scent and warmth comfort me. “So beautiful. Makes me wanna go to a wedding every day.”
He laughs into my hair, and I get it. Most men are probably not as much into weddings as women. For a lot of women, it seems to almost be a part of the female DNA; a built-in wedding strand, so to speak. But I’m okay with that—more than okay, actually. Witnessing Elijah and Jodie exchange their wedding vows and seeing their love for each other was one of the most extraordinary things I’ve ever seen. It was almost like another person in the room, it was that visible.
A wedding spirit.
I think it got to me.
Hudson squeezes my shoulder before letting go, taking Mira out of my arms. She’s been trying to crawl to him for the last minute or two, impatient as ever. Hudson tickles her before looking back at me. “Do you think Mira is going to be okay for a while longer, or should she have a nap first and then we go to the reception afterward?”
“We should be good. It was really perfect timing this morning, with the wedding starting shortly after she woke up from her morning nap. And it didn’t take too long either, so she should still have some time in her before she needs to go back down.”
“Sounds good. Let’s go get something to eat then.” Hudson grabs my hand and pulls me in the direction of the ballroom, where the reception is being held.
“Charlotte?”
My feet stop, and I’m suddenly unable to breathe. My eyes grow so wide, they start burning, while my stomach rolls in a way that makes me look around in alarm, not sure I’ll be able to keep my breakfast down.
Baking With A Rockstar (A Brooksville Novel Book 1) Page 28
