by Jae
Her mother stared at her and then sent her father a helpless glance. “Umm ... what do you mean?”
“Why did this,” with her chin, Annie described a circle that included Drew, Jake, and her, “have to happen for you to finally tell me that you love me?”
“What are you talking about?” Her mother ran her hands through her disheveled hair as if that would help her understand.
“You don’t even realize that you never told me that you love me, do you?” Annie wasn’t sure whether her parents’ lack of awareness made things better or worse.
“That’s not true, Annie,” her mother said. “I’m sure we told you that when you were a child.”
Annie pressed her lips together and shook her head. “No, Mom, you didn’t. Not even once.”
At his wife’s imploring gaze, her father jumped into the conversation. “You’re exaggerating. Just because we don’t always tell you doesn’t mean we don’t love you. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.”
Leaning forward, Annie stared at her father. “Which actions, Dad?”
“What?”
“Which actions were supposed to make me feel loved?”
Her father fingered the cleft in his chin. “Annie ...”
“Tell me.” She looked from one parent to the other. “Did you show me your love by standing back when the other kids at school made my life a living hell or when Jake played stupid tricks on me?”
“Oh, come on,” Jake said. “It’s not like they had to protect you from me. It was harmless.”
Annie ignored Jake’s interruption and just kept talking. Now that she had started, a lot of suppressed emotions bubbled up and couldn’t be held back any longer. “Or by giving me paintings and concert tickets for every birthday and every Christmas, even though that’s your interest, not mine? Do you even have any clue what I’m interested in?”
Her parents looked at each other like two contestants in a quiz show who had just been asked the one-million-dollar question without any joker left.
“Books,” her mother said.
While her father added, “Work.”
“Then why don’t you ever ask what I’m reading or how work is going?”
Her father frowned. “I ask you all the time.”
“No, Dad, you don’t. Not really. Even when you do ask, you never seem very interested in the answer. You’re my parents, and you don’t know anything about my life. I tried to pretend not to care, but I do.” Annie exhaled sharply and rubbed her breastbone. “It ... it hurts.”
They stared back as if they had never seen her before.
“Wow,” Jake said into the sudden silence. He reached across the table and nudged Drew’s shoulder. “What did you do to my sist—”
“For once in your life, shut up!” Annie said without bothering to lower her voice.
Jake blinked and then opened his mouth again.
Annie jerked around to glare at him. “I swear to God, if you make one more stupid comment about me ...”
“Whoa!” Jake leaned away and held up both palms. “Calm down. No reason to get so emotional.”
“No reason? I’ve got plenty of reasons!” Annie wanted to get up and pummel her brother until he stopped belittling her. “You don’t even realize what you did to me, do you? You started an emotional landslide by setting me up with Drew!”
“But ... but it was just a joke!” He gestured helplessly, nearly toppling over his half-full wineglass.
Annie smashed her hand onto the table. “My life is not a joke, Jake! When will you finally grow up and realize that not everything is just fun and games?”
“That’s not what I—”
“You can’t just go through life and have fun at everyone else’s expense. Your actions have consequences.” She dug her fingernails into the table cloth. “If you continue to play with my emotions, I swear I’ll ... I’ll ...” She stopped and shook her head. Tears trailed down her cheeks. One drop fell, and she watched it being absorbed into the table cloth.
Oh, God. Her chair scraped over the floor as she pushed it back, jumped up, and fled to the kitchen.
Shocked silence stayed behind.
Chapter 19
Drew blew out the breath she had been holding the entire time Annie was telling her family off.
The Prideauxs glanced at each other. No one said a word. They all looked as if a bomb had just gone off in their faces.
Isn’t anyone going to get up to see if Annie is okay? Drew frowned. But maybe Annie wouldn’t want to face her family. Now that she had time to think, Annie probably felt embarrassed. She was used to keeping things to herself and didn’t normally react with emotional outbursts.
Well, this one was long overdue. Drew was proud of Annie for speaking her mind.
“Are we really that bad as parents?” Annie’s mother looked at Jake.
“Well,” Jake said, “I wouldn’t say bad, but ...” He shrugged. “You’re not the overly involved type, that’s for sure.”
Mr. Prideaux sank against the backrest of his chair.
After a few more seconds of silence, Drew got up.
The Prideauxs’ stares zeroed in on her.
“I’ll go see if Annie is okay,” Drew said.
Annie’s mother hesitated. “Maybe I should go.”
“If you want.” Drew paused, torn between hoping Annie would bond with her mother and wanting to protect Annie from her parents.
“But maybe Annie needs a minute before she’s ready to talk to us.” Annie’s mother didn’t get up. She sat looking at Drew for several seconds, her expression almost pleading.
Taking the easy way out again. Drew sighed. I think they do love Annie, but they have no clue how to show her. Now the question is: is this the right moment to show her that I love her?
* * *
Annie buried her head in her hands. Her legs trembled, so she leaned against the kitchen counter. Get yourself together. She inhaled and exhaled and tried to shut out everything but her breathing.
A soft touch to her shoulder made her jump.
“Hey,” Drew murmured. “It’s just me. Are you okay?”
Annie wiped her eyes before she turned toward Drew. Her eyes burned, and she had to clear her throat before she could speak. “I’m sorry for creating such a drama.”
“Don’t be sorry. I think this needed to be said a long time ago.”
“I know, but I shouldn’t have dragged you into it. You deserve better on the first Thanksgiving without your parents.”
Drew rubbed Annie’s back. “Don’t worry about me. I’m more worried about you.”
The compassion in Drew’s gaze and the tenderness in her voice made new tears form in Annie’s eyes. God, how embarrassing. Now you’re crying in front of Drew on top of everything else. She tried to get her emotions under control, but her head was pounding too much.
“Come here.” Drew put one arm around her and pulled her close.
For a few moments, Annie wanted to struggle and pull away. I can handle this on my own. She always had.
But was that really what she wanted? She had just told off her parents for not supporting her, and now she was about to reject Drew’s help. Drew was offering support without asking for anything in return or implying that Annie was weak.
Annie closed her eyes. This close, she could smell Drew’s sandalwood soap. She breathed in the comforting scent and relaxed.
Being comforted by Drew wasn’t embarrassing. It’s not humiliation. It’s love.
The thought hit her in the chest and took her breath away. She let herself fall against the warmth of Drew’s body and wrapped both arms around Drew, clinging to her. Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she was helpless to stop them. She felt like an old piece of clothing that was coming apart at the seams.
Drew pulled Annie’s head against her shoulder as if wanting to hide the sight of her tears from the world.
In the dining room, chairs scraped over the tiles.
Annie didn’t loo
k up from her hiding place against Drew’s shoulder. Oh, please, don’t let them come in here. She couldn’t face her family or answer their questions right now, partly because she didn’t have the answers yet.
“Hey,” Drew said into the silence. Her breath brushed over Annie’s neck, making goose bumps break out all over her scalp. “You okay?”
“No,” Annie mumbled against the warmth of Drew’s shirt. “Nothing is okay anymore.” Now the tears fell in earnest. Annie squeezed her eyes shut to hold them back, but it was as if a dam had broken and she was trying to stop tons of water with her bare hands. Finally, she gave up and pressed her face against Drew’s shoulder while she cried. “They ... they never told me they loved me. Never.” She hiccupped and fought to get some control back. “How can I now tell ... tell them that you and I ... that it’s all a lie?”
Drew smoothed her palm over Annie’s hair. She paused. Her fingers, which played with a strand of hair, trembled. “Is it?” Drew whispered, her voice breaking.
What? Annie lifted her head off Drew’s shoulder and looked at her. Does that mean ...? Does she feel the same? Is this real for both of us? Her heart pounded in a rapid rhythm.
Their gazes met and held. Drew’s eyes, glittering with emotions, repeated the question.
In search of an answer, Annie’s mind flashed back over the last few weeks. She remembered Drew’s sincere interest during the first meeting in the restaurant. Her smile and the way she listened to her. Drew’s trusting gaze when Annie had taken care of her when she was sick.
That wasn’t a lie.
Neither were her own reactions to Drew. She had never felt so at ease, so in tune with anyone in her life. Now that her world was tilting on its axis, she found a safe haven hiding against Drew’s shoulder. You could have that in a close friendship too. She thought about it for a moment and then mentally shook her head. Be honest with yourself. Her emotional and physical reactions to Drew weren’t that of a friend. When we kissed on Halloween and when she touched my back in the fitting room. And, Jesus, when I woke up wrapped around Drew on the couch ...
Drew evoked feelings in her that no one else ever had. And it was more than just physical attraction.
She disentangled one of her hands from their embrace and slid it into her pocket. The moonstone was warm against her fingertips. Drew’s words from the beach echoed through her mind. The Greeks wore it as a talisman. They believed moonstones could help you find true love. She peeked at Drew and then looked down to where her hand disappeared into her pocket. True love.
“Annie?”
Annie licked her dry lips. Slowly, she lifted her gaze. Drew’s darkened eyes pulled her in. Her breathing hitched and then quickened. Trembling, she slid her fingers over Drew’s wrists and up her arms to steady herself against her shoulders. Hot breath fanned over her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut—then flew open again when someone cleared his throat right next to them.
Drew’s warmth retreated, leaving a feeling of emptiness inside of Annie.
Jake stood on the other side of the kitchen counter. He regarded them without his characteristic grin, just studying them without saying a word.
Silence from Jake was scary. Normally, he was talking and laughing nonstop. If he was silent, he was usually hatching his newest practical joke.
Annie stared back and tried not to look like someone who had just cried her eyes out. Making herself vulnerable in front of Drew was one thing; revealing her deepest emotions in front of Jake was another.
Out of Jake’s line of sight, Drew laid her hand on the small of Annie’s back, and Annie felt herself stand up straighter. Together, they faced Jake’s intense gaze.
“Tell me the truth. Is this,” Jake pointed from Annie to Drew, “for real?”
“Not now, Jake,” Drew said, a warning growl in her voice.
When Jake turned toward Drew, Annie knew she had a choice to make. She could answer truthfully, no matter the consequences, or she could avoid Jake’s question for a while longer, keep silent, and let Drew deal with Jake.
It was tempting. She didn’t feel ready to talk about her feelings, but she knew she needed to stand up for herself.
She released a shuddery breath, pulled her hand from her pocket, and placed it on Drew’s back, returning the protective touch. “Yes,” she said. Her voice shook. “Yes, it is for real.” God help me, it really is.
The fingers on Annie’s back flexed. Drew searched Annie’s eyes, her gaze full of hope.
As an answer to Drew’s silent question, Annie nodded. She wiped her eyes and tried to smile. She had hid behind their charade and struggled with her emotions for days, even weeks, but now that she had said it and really meant it, she felt as she had at the beach: at peace with herself and the world.
“What the hell?” Jake mumbled. “My sister’s a lesbian?”
Drew jerked around and glared at him. “Would you shut up? That’s for Annie to figure out, not for you to say.”
“Whoa, hold your horses!” Jake stepped forward until the kitchen counter stopped him. He lifted both hands. “I’m not some homophobic asshole. You know that, Drew. I admit that I didn’t always take Annie as seriously as I should have, but I just want what’s best for her.”
What’s best for me? Like he would know! Heat crept up Annie’s chest. And why is he talking to Drew, not to me? In the past, Annie had always kept her anger and disappointment to herself, but that would end. Now. With Drew’s hand resting on the small of her back, she squared her shoulders and stared Jake down. “Then stop talking about me like I’m not standing right here.”
Jake blinked. Finally, he nodded. “If Drew and you ...” He stopped and shook his head, looking at them slack-jawed. “Damn, the thought still blows my mind, but I guess I’ll get used to it.” He leaned forward, reached across the counter, and patted Annie’s shoulder. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Annie didn’t know what to say to that unusual show of brotherly support. Everything was changing right now, and she couldn’t keep up.
“Neither do I,” Drew said softly. The tenderness in her eyes was almost too much for Annie to take. No one had ever looked at her like this, and even though Annie decided it was a good thing, she felt as if she was about to blow an emotional fuse.
It’s too much. I need to get out of here.
She looked at the door and sent Drew a pleading glance.
Drew nodded.
But before they could take even one step, her parents entered the kitchen.
Annie tensed. Right now, she had enough on her plate with her own feelings and Drew’s. She couldn’t take on her parents’ questions too. But with her parents blocking the door, escape was impossible.
Drew slid her hand along Annie’s arm until she gripped her fingers.
Thankful for the silent support, Annie squeezed back.
“Are you okay?” her mother asked.
“I’m fine,” Annie said. Then she realized she was falling back into old patterns. How could she expect her parents to give her what she needed if she hid her feelings from them? She tightened her hold on Drew’s hand. “Well, not totally fine. I’ve been rethinking my life lately.”
“Rethinking your life?” her mother repeated. “But what’s wrong with your life? You’ve always seemed so happy.”
“I was happy ... am happy. Or at least content. But not with everything in my life. I made negative assumptions about myself and just accepted that it would never change, no matter what I did, so I just stopped trying.”
Her mother frowned. “Negative assumptions? I don’t understand.”
“I thought that I would never be interesting enough to be loved and to hold anyone’s attention—not yours and not a lover’s,” Annie said, her voice getting lower and lower with every word. She felt like a knight who had taken off his armor and now stood there in front of everyone, without any protection.
“Oh, Annie.” Her mother rushed over and clutched Annie’s shoulders. “Why would you thin
k that? Of course you’re interesting and lovable.”
But her mother’s words were just that: words. They couldn’t heal a lifetime of being ignored. Only the future would show if her parents would be able to prove it with their actions. “Let’s talk about this later, Mom.” She freed herself of her mother’s grip on her shoulders. “I think we all need some time to calm down and process everything first.”
Her parents exchanged a glance and nodded.
Annie hurried past them to the door, her death grip on Drew’s hand still tethering them to each other.
When they reached the door, Jake’s voice caught up with them. “Drew?”
Drew turned, her expression cautious.
“If you—”
“Save your breath,” Drew said. “I know what you’re about to say. If I hurt Annie in any way, you’ll hang me head-down from one of your rock-climbing walls, dip me in honey, and let a horde of Mexican killer ants crawl over me.”
“Hmm.” Jake stroked his nonexistent beard. “I was about to say that you and Annie are still welcome to celebrate New Year’s Eve with me if you want, but I like your idea better.” He fixed Drew with a piercing stare. “If you hurt my sister, I’ll sic something worse than killer ants on you.”
Oh, suddenly he’s playing the protective big brother? Annie bristled. “Leave her alone, Jake. This is between Drew and me.”
Jake shrugged. “I know. But you’ve got no idea what you’re getting into.”
“No,” Annie said, and for the first time in her life, that kind of uncertainty didn’t scare her—at least not enough to stop her from taking a risk. She strode toward the door, pulling Drew after her. Over her shoulder, she said, “I don’t have a clue. But I’m looking forward to finding out.”
Chapter 20
“Stop,” Drew said as soon as they had rounded the corner and were out of view of the Prideauxs’ house. “Stop the car. Please.” She felt as if she were about to explode from all the emotions swirling through her. A two-hour ride next to a silent Annie would kill her. They needed to get this out in the open. Now. “We need to talk.”
