The morning sun had burned all the dew off the ground. I could hear farm equipment churning miles down the road, the smell of the freshly turned dirt working more effectively than any anti-anxiety medication. I was in awe of how alive the world was. My ears picked up even the faintest of sounds and layers upon layers of smells filled my nose.
Charlie was silent and distant the drive back, which was fine by me. I had no idea what to say to him. The past month changed us. He didn’t even look like the same boy who surprised me on Prom night, having driven four hours just to dance with me. He had lost weight, causing his already sharp features to become severe. Dark bags hung underneath his tired eyes. He even managed to grow a scraggly beard, although it looked more starving artist than crazy homeless man on him. But the worst of it was something not so easy to articulate. It was a loss of something, a spark that was uniquely Charlie. It was the dullness in the eyes that once twinkled, the way his shoulders slumped in defeat.
I lost both of the boys I loved that night.
He continued his look-at-anything-but-Scout routine as he brought the car to a stop in front of my house.
“Thanks for the ride.” A slight bob of the chin was the only indication he heard me.
I started to get out of the car, but stopped with one foot out the door. “Charlie, what is going to happen if they convince Toby that I can’t stay here, that I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“But what if it does?”
“Scout, it’s not happening. Now, go inside and talk to your father. He’s about five seconds from coming out here and dragging you out of this car.”
I could hear the conversation between my parents inside and knew he was right. Dad had been informed of the whole Shifter business, but he wasn’t taking it so well.
For that matter, neither was I.
Chapter 5
“This isn’t happening,” Dad said, not for the first time. “It’s just… It’s not possible. People don’t turn into animals. Wounds don’t magically stitch themselves back together.” He balanced on the edge of the old, battered plaid chair Mom had been trying haul off to the dump for the past seven years. He sat with his elbows propped on his knees, his face buried in his hands. From my vantage, I could see a halo of gray hairs scattered generously in his once blond hair. When had that happened?
“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.” I lifted up the edge of the cover-up to expose my newly-healed stomach. “How else can you explain this?”
Dad gave me the exact same look he gave Jase when my brother tried to explain how a tree jumped in front of him, causing our first car to be totaled. “I think I can come up with something that doesn’t involve werewolves, Scout.”
“A little help?” I tried to appeal to my mother, who sat silently curled up on the couch. After doing a more extensive physical than any of my doctors ever subjected me to, she retreated to her little corner and stayed there. I wasn’t even certain she was listening to my desperate attempts to explain where I had been and what happened to me. I bit back a growl of frustration as she continued to stare at her hands, not even acknowledging the fact I had spoken.
“I have a book,” I finally said, realizing it was the only way he would ever truly accept this whole Shifter business. In many ways, he and I are very much alike. “It explains the science behind Shifters, what happens to their… our bodies during the Change.” Although, it didn’t do the excruciating pain justice.
“There’s a book?” The look Mom shot me made me wish she would go back to not participating in the conversation. “No one ever told me there was a book.”
I sat down on the edge of the coffee table. The fact I was able to get away with it spoke more to my mother’s current mental state than anything else. “It’s really rare. I don’t know if the Hagans even know it exists. The copy I have belonged to Alex’s dad, and—”
“Alex?” Dad’s voice held a dangerous edge. “Alex Cole? That boy…” He took a deep, calming breath. “He was one of these Shifty things?”
Crap. Was I supposed to be keeping that part a secret?
“Shifter, Dad. Alex was a Shifter.”
My father practically shook with rage. “Did he do this to you?” he asked, looking pointedly at my stomach.
“What? Alex?” I wrapped a protective arm around myself out of habit. “No. Alex would never hurt me.” Tears threatened at the mere mention of his name.
“But it was one of them, right?” Dad asked. “It was one of those Shifters who attacked you and made you…” I could see him struggling with how to end that sentence. “Different,” he finally finished.
“I don’t know why I became a Shifter.”
“Who hurt you, Scout? Which one of those bastards attacked you and left you alone to die in the woods?”
My eyes fixed on the Oriental rug that hid a grape juice stain. It had been there so long, I couldn’t remember is Jase or I was the culprit.
“Scout, tell me. Who was it?”
The edge of the carpet was starting to fray, and the colors were looking washed out. I would have to suggest to Dad we buy Mom a new one for her birthday.
“Scout,” Mom chimed in, her voice thick. “Please. It wasn’t…”
Some tears fell, making an ironic smiley face on the pajama bottoms I liberated from Talley’s bedroom.
“No…” She was crying, too. I could hear her sobs, smell the salt of her tears, but I couldn’t bear to look at her. “He’s your brother. He loves you. He would never…”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I bolted from the room and ran up the stairs, away from the truth.
***
The lake’s shore was the same, yet somehow not. The colors were wrong, too… bright? Intense? Green? It reminded me of the way things look right before an epic summer storm.
It was the exact same way things looked last night after the Change.
And Alex wasn’t alone. A puppy with grey human eyes bounced excitedly around his legs.
“Everything is different,” I said as I made my way to the place where Alex skipped stones across the lake’s surface. Or, at least, he was attempting to skip stones across the lake’s surface. In his defense, what he lacked in form he made up in persistence.
“Change does that,” he said, sending another rock to its watery grave. “I think it’s part of the definition. ‘Change. A verb. To make different.’” He flashed a smile, dimples and all, but it was wrong, too.
“Thanks, Obi-Wan. Where would I be without your guidance?” The wolf pup noticed my existence for the first time and bounded up to my side. “Hey there, boy,” I said as I scratched behind its ears. “Aren’t you a handsome fellow?”
Alex laughed and the pup growled. “She is quite cute, but Nicole won’t think twice about biting you if you call her a boy again.”
I looked at the tiny gray wolf who abandoned threatening me for the joy of having her belly scratched by Alex.
“But she’s a Shifter, right?”
“Yes.”
“But girls can’t be Shifters.”
Alex looked up at me through a curtain of bangs in desperate need of a trim. “How did that theory work out for you last night?” I double-checked, just to make sure… Yep. He was smirking.
Asshat.
“What happened to me?”
He leaned back on his heels, wrapping his long arms around his knees. Nicole glared at me, as if it was my fault her belly-scratching came to an end. “Last night you successfully completed your first Change. I thought you would figure that out when you grew a tail.”
“How, Alex? How did I Change? How did I grow a tail?” I screamed. “I’m not a Shifter, so please explain to me how this happened!”
“Of course you’re a Shifter.” He came over to me, cupping my cheek in his hand. It was the first time he had touched me since I arrived, and I nearly collapsed at the warmth and reassurance radiating through me. “This has always been your dest
iny. It’s who you are.”
“I only think it’s fair to tell you, I don’t believe in destiny.”
“That’s okay,” Alex smiled. “She believes in you.”
Chapter 6
I knew there was someone in my room before I even opened my eyes. I could hear her breathing and smell the scent of her baby shampoo. Of course, even someone without canine senses could’ve achieved the same thing with Talley leaning over them, her face an inch away.
“Are you planning on waking up today or not?”
“Not.” I had no idea what time it was, nor did I care. I was accustomed to twelve to eighteen hours of sleep a day. My all-nighter totally wiped me out.
A tap against my arm. “Scout.”
“I’m sleeping.”
A shake of my shoulder. “Scout.”
“Go away.”
The covers jerked back, exposing my legs to the chill of the room. “Scout.”
“I hate you,” I said, sitting up to retrieve the blankets now pooled below my knees. I was just awake enough to marvel over the ability to do so without pain.
“You love me,” Talley said as she flounced down behind me so I couldn’t lay back down. “You know how I know?”
“Cause you stole it out my head just like you did my graduation speech?”
“Because you’re all growls and no bite. A Shifter attacks anyone who invades their den unless they consider them family.”
“You make me sound like an animal.”
Talley dug a pair of pajama bottoms out from under a pillow where they had probably been cowering for weeks. “A convincing argument could be made.”
I grabbed the pajama bottoms, which kind of reeked, and went in search of the hamper I knew was somewhere in my room. Maybe.
I expected my legs to do that weird rubbery thing they always did after I pushed myself too hard at the dojo, but they held firm without even a hint of soreness. In fact, once the sting of the Change wore off, I felt amazing. Not only was pain completely and totally absent for the first time in a month, I was hyper-aware of my body, as if I could feel the individual muscles beneath my skin. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was happy to be a Shifter, but there were advantages to be had.
By the time I found the clothes hamper, which had magically folded itself up so it could hide under my bed, Talley had rounded up an armful of dirty clothes, including a Super Mario Brothers shirt I’d been looking for since October. “So, what’s the verdict?” I asked.
“They should come clean with a bit of soap and water, but be sure to use the hot cycle so you kill anything that may be growing.”
“Ha, ha. Very funny. I was talking about the Pack. What did they decide? Have I been voted off the island?”
Talley twisted a strand of hair around her finger, the first sign of bad news.
“When is the last time you ate? You need to be sure and get a ton of calories pre and post Change.”
I narrowed my eyes, ignoring the tingle of panic spreading from my stomach to my heart. “You’re avoiding the question.”
“I’m trying to keep you healthy.”
“Talley…”
She exhaled loudly, shoulders slumping. “You’re supposed to appear before the Pack at seven o’clock tonight.”
“And then what happens?”
The finger was back in the hair. “That’s all the Pack Leader has authorized me to tell you.”
The panic swept through my heart and railroaded its way to my brain. “What are they going to do?” Alex explained Pack politics to me once. At the moment, all I could remember was something about fights to the death.
“I can’t tell you.”
“You’re my best friend.”
“And Toby is my Pack Leader. I can’t override a command no matter what I want to do.”
My gut reaction wasn’t what I expected. Instead of begging her to give me a clue as to what to expect or breaking down into tears, an unfamiliar mixture of incredulity and anger threatened to short-circuit my thought pattern. She was following another Shifter’s commands? I wanted to lash out and demand she give me what I wanted. The impulse shocked me enough to reign it in before I actually acted on it, but not before a low, threatening growl erupted from my throat.
“Oh God, Tal. What is happening to me?” That reaction wasn’t a Scout-like reaction. That sound wasn’t a Scout-like sound. It wasn’t a human sound. “What am I now?”
Talley was hugging me before I could stop her. “It’s okay. You’re going to be fine. You just need to calm down and take some time to adjust.” Her hand was stroking down my hair.
“You’re petting me like a dog.”
Her hand stilled, and she pulled back to look at me. “It’s the day after a full moon. Your wolf is still close to the surface. Sometimes touch can keep him… her calm and in check.”
“The wolf is close to the surface? What does that mean? Am I like Sybil now?”
Talley took a full step back, but she was now patting my arm. I would have told her to stop, but it actually was kind of soothing.
“Your wolf isn’t a different personality. It’s still you, just a bit more…”
“Animalistic?”
“Exactly.”
I put my hands on either side of my head and squeezed. It was all too much. Too much noise. Too many smells. Too many questions. Too many Scouts. I couldn’t deal with it all. I shouldn’t have to. I should be worrying about getting a summer job and whether or not I picked the right college, not about how I was supposed to keep Wolf Scout in check.
“I can’t do this,” I finally admitted, the pressure against my skull somehow making it easier to think. “I don’t know what’s going on or what to do about it. I just want to crawl back in bed and —” Be with Alex is what I was going to say, but caught myself before it came tumbling out.
“And hide? Like you have been since the accident?”
My head whipped up, the anger once again white hot and explosive. “Hide? Hide? I had been gutted like a pig, in case you forgot. I wasn’t hiding, I was recovering.”
“The injury forced you to stay in bed, not to shut out everyone who loves you. You’ve been hiding from what happened then and you want to hide from what is happening now.” There were blots of red in my vision. My hands twitched, fingers curling as if they were trying to become claws again. “Honestly, I don’t know who you’ve become either, because my best friend wasn’t a coward.”
“You don’t know what I’ve been through,” I said through clenched teeth.
“You’re not the only one who lost someone the night Alex died, you know. He was my friend. Maybe we didn’t have the same relationship you did, but I cared about him. It broke my heart to lose him.” I opened my mouth, but she plowed on. “My best friend almost died right in front of me, and most days I’m not sure she didn’t. Jase has become a tsunami of wrath, plowing over everyone misguided enough to get in his way. They’ll still be talking about how he loudly dumped Tinsley in the middle of the cafeteria at our twenty year reunion. Of course, that’s better than Charlie, the silent anger ball who is going to go nuclear any minute now. I’m their Seer, I’m suppose to keep them from imploding, but I don’t know what I’m doing since no one ever saw fit to train a latent.” And then Talley burst into tears. It was a tactic she’d been using since we were little girls trying to sneak into her mother’s workshop to play with all the shiny costumes. We would inevitably get caught, but before Mrs. Matthews could dole out our punishment, Talley would become a sobbing, blubbery mess, and we would be pardoned.
You would think that after seventeen years of friendship I would have stopped falling for it.
Nearly five minutes later, Talley pulled herself out of my embrace, wiping the remaining tears from her face. I had to swipe a hand over my cheeks, too. It seems I never quite got out of the habit of crying right along with her.
“You really do need to get something to eat,” she said. “I’ll go down in the record books as the worst S
eer ever if I let a Shifter pass out from hunger.”
Talley followed me to the kitchen downstairs, keeping up an overly-enthusiastic monologue about the travesty of being able to burn through five thousand calories just by taking a nap. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to break the tension or if she was just jealous of my new eat-all-you-want-plus-more-and-never-gain-an-ounce diet plan.
No one was home, which was a relief. I wasn’t ready to face my parents again and talking to Angel would have required more enthusiasm than I was willing to muster at the moment. Jase was still with his Pack.
“How much do you remember about last night?” Talley asked as I slathered a piece of bread with a giant helping of peanut butter and honey. It was the best I could accomplish on my own. Anything else would have required cooking, which I am forbidden from attempting due to my tendency to set off smoke alarms.
“Ummm…everything?” I thought through the night in search of missing time or holes in my memory. My mental eye paused on a gray wolf with human eyes. “Yeah, I think I remember everything.” Especially the Change parts. Pain like that didn’t just erase itself from your memory, no matter how much you want it to. “Doesn’t everybody?”
Talley rummaged through the fridge, opening various Tupperware containers and examining their contents. “The first Change is pretty traumatic. Some Shifters find it hard to reconcile their beast brain with their human brain.”
“Because Wolf Scout doesn’t think like Real Scout?”
Talley popped a container full of my favorite chicken casserole in the microwave. “Right. She depends more on instinct and sensory input than logic.”
“Like how I kept getting distracted by bunny and squirrel trails?”
“Exactly. In wolf form the procurement of food is the highest of your priorities. Part of my job is to keep you from doing anything that will put yourself or your Pack at risk by doing something…”
“Stupid?”
“Ill-advised.” The microwave beeped and she pulled the container out and divided its contents onto two plates. I was impressed with her mad cooking skills. I would have somehow managed to turn it into a rice, chicken, and cheese brick. “I check in with everyone throughout the night, forcing them to think as humans.”
Time Mends Page 4
