“You, too,” he offers as he reaches for my hand, pulling me into a hug. His arms wrap around my waist as he holds me to him.
Gingerly, I snake my arms around his neck. It’s not that we haven’t hugged before, but this position seems more intimate than any other time we’ve done this.
“Are you ready to go?” Lyle murmurs against my hair.
I nod against his shoulder. “Yeah.”
Lyle releases me from his embrace and when I turn to look at Jen over my shoulder, one of her eyebrows is raised and I know she saw my hesitation to his affection.
“Hey, Jen,” Lyle says over my shoulder.
“Hey,” she answers back with a wave and a smile of her own.
“Is it okay if I steal your girl here for a little bit?” he asks jokingly.
Jen laughs. “Yeah, so long as you have her back at a decent hour.”
Well, at least she’s playing nice, I think to myself.
“Will do,” he smirks.
“I’ll see you later,” I offer with a slight smile and pleading eyes, hoping she’ll behave and not make any snarky retorts.
She nods and I can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something.
When I shut the door behind us, Lyle takes my hand in his, weaving our fingers together as he leads me towards his Jeep Wrangler. It’s an older two-door model with a soft top.
“So where are you taking me?” I ask as he opens my door for me.
“You’ll just have to wait and see.” He winks as he closes the door behind me.
Lyle jogs around the front of his Jeep before hopping in. As we start to drive down the road, he shifts gears before taking my hand in his. We sit in uncomfortable silence for what seems like minutes, but in all reality is probably only a few seconds before he speaks. And it’s weird. Lyle and I haven’t shared a moment of awkwardness before this.
“Look, I know you’re nervous.” He chuckles as he glances at me from out of the corner of his eye.
“Is it that obvious?” I laugh out.
“A little.” He shrugs. “But I understand. Just relax and let’s have some fun, okay?”
“Thank you.” I take a deep breath, hoping to calm my nerves.
“For what?” he asks with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
I smile at him. “For being so understanding. I want you to know I do like you, Lyle, but if I’m hesitant in any way, please know it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you.”
“Kelsey, it’s just us. There are no pretenses here. We were friends before and it’s only a date,” he replies with an easy smile as he turns onto the main road that takes us out towards the beach.
I nod at him before leaning my head back against the headrest as we listen to Justin Moore’s Lettin’ the Night Roll. Eventually the awkwardness trails off as we make small talk throughout the ride until we pull onto a dirt road.
“So, what are your plans this weekend?” I ask, making small talk.
“Depends on how this date goes.”
“Oh yeah, and why is that?” I ask, grinning over at him as we come to a stop in front of a house.
Lyle moves his hand to lace his fingers with mine only to lift it and kiss the back of my knuckles. “Because if you’re comfortable enough and have a good time tonight, then I’m going to ask you for another date tomorrow.” A sliver of lust runs down my spine as his deep voice vibrates against the back of my hand. A full-blown megawatt smile covers his face when he notices that I’m unable to articulate one word. As the Jeep comes to a stop, he adds, “But you have time to think about it because we’re here.”
As we hop out of the Jeep, Lyle runs around and takes my hand in his. A cold shiver runs down my spine at the humid, cool air that October brings with it. He leads me to a worn pathway and as I look out into the distance, a boat sits tied to the end of a pier, floating in the channel of a marsh. It is a pilot house style where the helmsman stands enclosed in the center. Silver railings curve around the bow of the vessel and making the white and dark blue, clean and polished fiberglass pop.
“Let me?” Lyle asks as he helps me onto the boat.
I smile at him and nod, asking, “Where are we?”
“A buddy of mine’s house. He lets me store my boat here. It’s twenty-seven foot, Skagit Orca,” he states proudly as my hand trails against the smooth fiberglass. “There’s a small cabin underneath.”
“Really?” I ask in awe.
Lyle stands with his hands tucked into his pockets casually as he nods. “Yea. It’s not yacht size or anything, but would you like to see?” he asks.
“Heck yeah,” I exclaim excitedly.
Lyle opens the door for me to climb below. My breath catches at the sight of dinner for two, covered, and sitting on top of an oak finished table with a cream-colored, leather booth wrap surrounding it. The economical space isn’t large by any means as I take the four steps down, but contains a small kitchenette with a two-burner stove, microwave, mini fridge, and bar sink. The moon shines in through six portholes, three on each side of the boat. It’s quaint and the thought behind all of this is really sweet.
“What did you make, or should I say have made to eat?” I joke as I look at him over my shoulder.
“My friend who lives here is a gourmet chef for the Hyatt downtown and I asked if he’d whip us up something classic,” Lyle answers as he slides into a seat on one side of the table and motions for me to sit.
As I lift the silver dome lid, a laugh escapes me. “You really did keep it classic, didn’t you?”
We each have a hamburger with all the trimmings on a thick sesame seed bun and in a side dish is a mound of curly fries. In this moment, I can’t help but fall a little for Lyle and when I look over at him, he smiles at me.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He nods once as he lifts his burger and takes a bite. His eyes roll into the back of his head as he silently savors the juicy concoction in his mouth. Curious to know if it’s as good as he’s making it out to be, I take a bite of my own and yes, it’s that good. I groan in appreciation as my eyes flutter closed and I relish in the way all the flavors of the meat, tomato, onion, pickles, and mustard blanket my pallet.
“Good?” Lyle’s voice breaks me out of my food-induced trance, causing me to open my eyes as I laugh around the food in my mouth.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I nod and swallow down my bite before answering. “Absolutely. It’s one of the best burgers I’ve had in a long time.”
Lyle scoots out of the booth and steps over to the mini fridge to pull out a couple of Cokes for us. He sets them down to open them before handing one to me.
“Thanks.” I lean back in my seat, picking at my fries as Lyle returns to his seat across from me. “What made you want to become a lawyer?” I ask trying to get to know him better.
“I like helping people. My dad’s a doctor. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps but I don’t do the whole broken bones and internal organs thing,” he answers shaking his head. “The next best thing was to study law.”
“Do you like it?” I ask intrigued.
“Sure.” He nods. “Just like any other career choice, there are good days and bad days. I wouldn’t have chosen the path in life I decided to take if it wasn’t going to make me happy.” Lyle shrugs with an easy smile.
We sit in a comfortable silence, eating the rest of our food and making small talk every now and then. When we finish up, I wash the dishes in the small kitchenette as Lyle cleans off the table.
As soon as we’re done, Lyle takes my hand in his and pulls me towards him. It doesn’t bother me like it did when we first started hanging out.
“Will you dance with me?”
A smirk tugs at of the corners of my lips as I answer jokingly, “Do you think we’ll actually get to finish a dance this time?”
Lyle laughs out loud as he leads me up the stairs and onto the deck. He connects his phone to the speaker system wired throughout th
e boat as he jokes, “I sure as hell better get to finish at least one dance with you or I may have to kick someone’s ass.”
Otis Redding’s Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay plays through the speakers and the smooth strumming of the electric guitar washes over me as Lyle spins me out away from him and pulls me back. I toss my head back in laughter. The hand resting on my hip pulls my body flush against his and our other hands are clasped together as we dance to the catchy beat of old school rhythm and blues.
One song blends into the next as Come to Me begins to play. Both of Lyle’s hands now hold onto my hips and my arms wrap around his neck. I rest my head on his shoulder and we sway back and forth to the sweet melody. “Come to me forget the past…” Lyle mimics some of the lyrics, singing to me in a low, soft tone. “Come to me and be my girl…,” he sings, purposely skipping over certain parts of the song. “Time has come for you and I…”
“You like the oldies,” I whisper, surprised as I pull back and look at him with a smile on my face.
His hands leave my hips to rub up and down my back as he nods. “I do. It was all my parents listened to while I was growing up. But I like all kinds of music.”
“Were you trying to drop a hint with that song?” I ask with a wink.
“Absolutely.” He chuckles.
With his hand on my lower back, Lyle and I walk up to my apartment. I peek out of the corner of my eyes and smile. “I really had a great time tonight.”
“Me too,” he answers with a smile of his own. “And thanks for actually taking a chance on me,” he says softly.
I shake my head as I look up at him with a smile. “We took a chance on each other. You know where I stand yet you were still willing to come after me. Thank you,” I state as we stop in front of my door. With shaky hands, I dig out my keys. “Would you like to come in for a glass of wine?” I ask nervously as I look from Lyle to the keyhole where I attempt to stick my key.
Lyle’s hand covers mine and my eyes drift closed as I take a deep breath.
“Kelsey,” he whispers, “I’d love a glass of wine, but nothing will happen that you don’t want to.”
“I just don’t want to rush anything.” I shrug as I give him a sad smile. I look up at him and smile, glad that he understands where I’m coming from. As I finally get the damn key in the lock, I say, “I really did have a good time toni–”
My words cut off as I gasp in shock when I see Riley sitting on my couch. The soft glow of the light silhouettes his profile, showing his defeated posture. His elbows rest on his knees, and his hands clutch fistfuls of his hair.
His head snaps up when he hears my intake of breath. My heart aches for him when I take in his bloodshot eyes and thin face. I look from him to Lyle and back like a spectator at a tennis match.
“I didn’t know he was going to be here,” I whisper. My shoulders drop and I sigh as I look up at Lyle.
Lyle’s eyes flicker between Riley and me a couple of times before he reaches out, cupping my cheek.
“It’s okay, Kelsey.” His voice is soft and his smile is sad as he continues. “You love him. You’ve told me that and just by your reaction right now, you should go to him, because there is no way I can compete with someone who already owns your heart.”
My eyes find Riley for a beat before I look back at Lyle.
“I really did try,” I whisper.
“I know you did.” He nods. “And maybe if we had met first, I’d be the one you’d be running to but I’m not.” Lyle leans in and places a tender kiss on my forehead before he whispers, “If he hurts you again though, I will kick his ass and steal you away.” His tone is fierce tone, and after a final hug, he walks off and leaves me standing on my porch.
I take a deep breath as I try to calm the anxiety rocking my nerves. I watch Lyle’s taillights disappear down the road. Behind me is the man who tore me to shreds and the man I did the same to, and it’s not lost me that we have the power to do it all over again.
“I didn’t know you were on a date.” Just hearing Riley’s deep timbre from behind me puts a dent in the resolve that I came to when I left him in that alley.
Turning around, I step through the doorway, softly shutting the door behind me before asking wearily, “How did you get in here?”
Riley sits there in a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt, and black fitted leather jacket. His hair has grown out a little and I can’t stop myself from wanting to run to him even though I know it’s not that easy between us anymore.
“Jen.”
Of course! I roll my eyes as I groan inwardly, knowing my best friend is meddling in business that is not hers.
“Can we talk?” Riley asks. Lifting his head, his eyes connect with mine. My breath catches in my throat as I stare back at the man I fell in love with. The man I’m still in love with. The man who has the potential to damage me more than any one person I know and yet I still go to him.
I nod and walk over to the couch, choosing to sit as far away from him as I can.
With a shake of his head, he sighs. “I remember there was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and now, you can’t stand to sit anywhere near me.”
As much as I want to disagree with him and tell him he’s wrong, I don’t. Because I know as soon as he touches me, it’s game over and right now, I need the upper hand. I tuck my hands under my legs to keep from reaching out to him and then I sit and wait for him to say what he came to say.
“Where did we go wrong?” he asks softly.
I can think of so many things I could count off to answer his question, but I won’t because we need to be able to clear the air and either move on together with a fresh start or move on separately. Either way, we need to move on.
I turn my gaze from his and focus on the wall. “I can admit it all started with me. But if I had told you who my ex was and who my father is, it wouldn’t have made a difference,” I sigh, “because Todd still would have been at that benefit and he still would have said what he said,” I answer softly.
“Why did he say what he did?” Riley pleads in an effort to understand why everything went down the way it did.
“Because I left him at the altar in front of four hundred people. I embarrassed him. I don’t feel bad for it because I didn’t love him. I didn’t want to be with him. He made my life a living hell. But at that point in my life, the thought of disappointing my parents was unfathomable.” I shake my head and give him a sad smile. “But standing up there at that altar, all I could think about was how my life was going to turn out if I didn’t choose myself. So my choice came down to either them or me. As I stood up there on that altar about to exchange vows with a man I was supposed to love, he stood next to me threatening me under his breath. After everything I’d endured with Todd and my parents, that was the shove that led me to say ‘fuck it all’. I chose me and, by doing so, that led me to the greatest love I’ve ever known and also the greatest pain, too.”
“You hurt me, too,” he says, angling his head in my direction. “When you left, it felt like a piece of me died inside.”
“I didn’t leave you at first, Riley. Space and breaking up are not the same thing,” I reply, looking back at him.
“You didn’t even give me a chance to say anything!” he shouts. “You had your shit packed faster than I could blink.” He stands up from the couch and throws his arms in the air in frustration. “What the hell else was I supposed to do? Did you wait to talk to me to see how I was feeling about everything? Did you wait for me to come to you to see how you were doing? No, you just ran. You hightailed it out of there so fast, I was left standing in the dust, watching you drift further and further away from me.” He’s in front of me in two steps, crouched down, his hands on my knees and eyes swimming with unshed tears. “We were supposed to be partners,” he ghosts his hand back and forth between us, “but in that moment, you decided our relationship was a one man show.”
Hearing those words out of his mouth tears at my heartstrings beca
use he’s absolutely right. I ran. I didn’t give him a chance or a choice. I made the decision for the both of us without any regard to how it would make him feel. Tears build up in my eyes and I’m helpless to keep them from spilling over.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, dropping my head in defeat, shame—regret. “All of this is my fault. All this hurt and anguish I’ve caused us is all because of me,” I cry out.
Gingerly, Riley wraps his arms around me, hugging me to him, consoling me and I lose it. My shoulders heave up and down as sobs wreck me. I clutch at the collar of his jacket and bury my face in the crook of his neck. All this time we’ve wasted is time we’ll never get back. My running forced him into the arms of other women, forced me into the arms of other men. All for what? Because I was too worried about myself, my feelings, my pride. Selfishly, I left him behind to deal with the aftermath all on his own.
“Shh… baby, don’t cry,” Riley whispers in my ear as he rocks us back and forth. Those words make me cry harder.
We stay like that for a while, until I feel myself lifted off the couch only to end up on Riley’s lap. Not once does he remove his arms from around me. Instead, he pulls me closer as if, at any minute, he’s afraid I’ll disappear. Cocooned in his arms, my sobs change to soft cries until eventually I’m left with hiccups.
“Do you still love me?” he murmurs quietly against my forehead.
“More than you can ever imagine,” I whisper. “Do you still love me?” I ask, fearful of what his reply may be.
“I couldn’t fall out of love with you even if I tried and believe me, I tried,” he admits.
“Me, too.” I nod. “You hurt me too, you know? When I saw that woman fixing her shirt as she left your house, you with lipstick smeared all over, shirtless and your pants undone.” I shake my head, trying to get the images out of my mind. “You might as well have taken a knife, dug into my back, and laughed while you did it.”
Smoldering Page 19
