by Becky Harmon
“Dani, Kaitlyn,” Kathleen called. “Any special requests for dinner?” she asked as both girls came into the room.
“Steak, burger, hot dogs, chicken or a mushroom?” Cassie added.
“Burger with no bun.” Dani danced out of the room.
“Chicken?” Kaitlyn asked. “I don’t want to be difficult, though, so I can eat anything.”
Cassie looked at Shaun.
“A burger is fine with me too.”
“Are you there, Shell?” Cassie asked into the phone.
“I think I heard all that,” Shelley said. “Burgers and chicken, right?”
“And a mushroom,” Cassie added.
“Chase and Greg said burgers too. What about you and Kathleen?”
Cassie looked at Kathleen and raised her eyebrows.
“I’ve been craving a steak since I was here last.”
“Steak for both of us,” Cassie said into the phone.
“That’s perfect. I had ordered ten steaks when I called on Wednesday. I hope two pounds of burgers and one of chicken will be enough.”
“Go ahead and grab two pounds of chicken. We can grill it all and eat it over the weekend. I have a pack of hot dogs in the fridge if we run out of burgers too.” Cassie answered, only half-listening to Shelley’s response as the conversation resumed around her.
“When were you here?” Shaun asked, looking at Kathleen.
Kathleen glanced at Cassie, then quickly looked away. “I came up a couple weeks ago to check things out for you guys.” She continued before the girls could ask any questions. “I stayed in one of the cabins. You guys are going to love it here.”
Morgan grinned. “She didn’t ask where you stayed, Ms. K. Did you, Shaun?”
“Nope. Gotta keep those guilty feelings at bay.” Shaun laughed and exchanged glances with Morgan.
“Is everyone ready to go?” Kathleen asked, standing. She glanced at Cassie for assistance.
“Hold on. I want to talk with everyone first.”
Dani and Kaitlyn sat on Shaun’s bed and Kathleen sat back down on Morgan’s bed with Morgan. Shaun turned from the closet and Cassie motioned to the bed beside Dani.
Cassie gave a small cough and avoided looking at Kathleen. “We have very few rules here, but I do expect you to respect each other. That means stay out of each other’s personal space and rooms without invitation. It also expands to the animals.” She looked at each girl directly. “Follow any directions given by one of us four adults or Greg. Never take out your anger or frustration on the animals or hurt them for any reason. Everyone understand?”
After receiving a nod of agreement from each girl, Cassie led the way back downstairs. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned toward the girls. “There’s one more thing.” She saw Morgan roll her eyes at Shaun, and she hesitated. Kathleen had seen the display as well and swatted Morgan in the back of the head. Cassie laughed and continued. “If you leave the house, there’s a white board beside the refrigerator where you need to log out. If you want to take a walk or a bike ride, please check out a radio to carry with you. Next week after you get used to things, we’ll make a chore list, but for the next couple of days you are free to do whatever you want. We’re all busy here, so please don’t make me have to track you down. I’ll also log my movements and I’ll have a radio with me. If I am not in the house or office, my location will be on the board. Cool?”
“Cool,” Dani responded. Cassie was really starting to like her enthusiasm.
“Thank you, Dani.” She looked at the other girls until each one nodded.
Cassie turned, leading the way into the office. She gave them a quick tour before heading outside where she pointed out the cabins, giving a short detail of each. They circled through the barn and Cassie introduced them to the goats and horses.
* * *
“I’m going back into the house to make the salads for dinner.” Cassie looked at all the girls and Kathleen. “Feel free to join me, hang out with Dillon or just do your own thing.” Cassie smiled at each of them. When she got to the porch, she stopped to see what the girls were doing. Kathleen and Kaitlyn were following her into the house, and Dani had joined Chase at the fence to watch the goats. Morgan and Shaun were not moving.
“Don’t worry about them.” Kathleen held the door open for Cassie and Kaitlyn. “They’ll take a little longer than the rest to settle in.” She put her arm around Kaitlyn. “Unlike this one.”
Cassie pulled tomatoes and cucumbers out of the refrigerator and some onions out of the pantry. After dicing them, she put them in a bowl and added a ranch dressing mix. Kathleen washed lettuce and spinach, adding carrots to make a large salad.
Kaitlyn slid onto a barstool and watched Cassie and Kathleen move around the kitchen. “You guys act like you’ve worked together before.”
Cassie glanced at Kathleen and her heart gave a little tug as Kathleen glanced away.
“So what do you think of this place, Kaitlyn?” Kathleen asked, turning her back to Cassie.
“It’s really cool so far. What kind of chores are we going to have to do?” She looked at Cassie.
“I’ve never had this many kids at one time, so there won’t be many. On Sunday evening after dinner we’ll all sit down with the white board and go over everything that has to be done each day. Everyone can pick at least one task to be responsible for.”
“Like what?”
Chase barged into the house with Zoey and Pandy on his heels. He looked at the clock and then at Cassie. “Can I feed them early?”
“I think that’s a great idea, Chase.” She looked back at Kaitlyn. “Like feeding the animals, gathering trash, pulling housekeeping tags from the cabin doors and cooking.”
“I can cook.” Kaitlyn smiled.
“I can’t.” Chase climbed on a barstool beside Kaitlyn after feeding the dogs.
She smiled at him. “I can teach you.”
“Okay.” He smiled back at her. “I can teach you to drive the golf cart.”
As they sealed the deal with a handshake, Cassie and Kathleen exchanged smiles. Then Kathleen looked away again. Cassie’s heart sank. Her initial excitement at having Kathleen here was fading fast. Clearly there was something going on, but she’d have to wait until she could get Kathleen alone to find out what it was.
Cassie heard Shelley return so she grabbed one salad and asked Kaitlyn to grab the other one. As they headed out the door, she heard Kathleen talking to Chase about living on the farm. It had taken Chase only a few moments to warm up to her, and Cassie could hear him starting to replay every detail of the last week.
Greg and Dillon were unloading Shelley’s car when Cassie reached the picnic table. She unpacked the bags and began pulling meat out of them. The grill was large enough for everything, so she strategically placed items where they would cook faster or slower depending on the meat. Shelley disappeared into the house and returned with seasonings and dressing.
As the guests began to venture down, Shelley asked how they wanted their steak cooked and then introduced them to everyone. Soon all the guests but the couple in Cabin One were present. Cassie sent Chase and Dani to knock on their door.
“Be polite. They don’t have to join us if they don’t want to.” Cassie watched them walk toward Cabin One. They were quite the pair. Chase, still in his dressier clothes, was a couple of inches shorter than Dani, and she had a tomboy strut that made her look tougher. Cassie smiled as Zoey and Pandy padded along behind them.
They put the youngest kids’ table close to but not connected to the adults. The four girls claimed the end table to themselves but were quickly joined by Shelley and Pete. After helping the kids get their plates fixed, Kathleen claimed a spot at the end of the adjoining table beside Shelley. Cassie was last to find a spot after all the meat was off the grill. She was pleased to see that a seat had been left for her beside Kathleen.
Cassie took the long way around the kids’ table to remind Chase not to feed the dogs any table foo
d, then sat down beside Kathleen. Though Kathleen had seemed distant since she had arrived, she did not move away when their legs touched under the table. Cassie was confused by the mixed signals but pleased to have the contact. They ate silently, listening to the conversations around them.
When Dillon and Greg finished eating, they pulled a volleyball net from the shed and began setting it up. Cassie pulled out lawn chairs for the guests who didn’t want to play. Greg picked Cassie for his team. Luckily it wasn’t an intense game—all the smaller kids wanted to play too—because her head was fuzzy from being close to Kathleen throughout the meal. It took a couple punches from Dillon under the net for her to get in the game, but eventually she did, even managing to work up a sweat. They played until dark and then Dillon started the bonfire. Shelley took care of marshmallow duties, and Cassie was free to rest. She sat on the ground away from the fire.
Kathleen sat quietly beside her. Today, she was dressed in her own jeans that hugged her hips and Cassie was surprised to see hiking boots on her feet. Taking advantage of the first opportunity they had to speak alone, Cassie glanced at her and smiled. “I’ve missed you.”
Kathleen smiled back. “It’s been a long time since Wednesday.”
“No,” Cassie said softly. “I’ve missed you being here.”
“Oh.”
Chase crawled in between them with a burnt marshmallow stuck to his fingers.
“Where are you going with that marshmallow?” Cassie asked him.
“I’m going to eat it.” He stuffed the marshmallow into his mouth. After a few minutes, he sighed loudly. “Morgan is a bully.”
“Why do you say that?” Kathleen asked, looking at Cassie over his head.
“She said I couldn’t have any more marshmallows.”
“Do you know why she said that?” Kathleen spoke before Cassie could.
“Well,” Chase recanted, “she didn’t exactly say that I couldn’t have any more. She said I couldn’t stick my hand in the bag anymore.”
Kathleen looked surprised when Cassie laughed. “Did you lick your fingers, buddy?” She winked at Kathleen.
“Maybe.”
“Okay, so tell her you’re sorry and ask her to hand you another one.”
“Good idea,” Chase said, placing his sticky fingers on their legs to stand before sprinting back to the bonfire.
“Want me to get that off?” Cassie looked at the sticky goo Chase’s fingers had left on Kathleen’s pants.
“No, I…You can’t…I should go get a towel.” She quickly stood and walked away.
Cassie stared after her, shocked. Something was clearly bothering Kathleen and she needed to find out what it was. The last time Kathleen was here she didn’t bolt at Cassie’s touch or even the suggestion of a touch. She was lost in thought, remembering their shared marshmallow when Shelley flopped down beside her.
“What’s your problem, chief?”
“What do you mean what’s my problem?” Cassie responded defensively.
“Well, normally you socialize with our guests rather than hide back here away from everyone.” Shelley smiled to make her words less harsh. “I’d have thought you would be happier with Kathleen being here.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Okay. What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure. She’s been avoiding me since she arrived and I haven’t had a chance to talk with her yet.”
“I saw her bolt from you a while ago. I thought you had bitten her.”
Cassie laughed self-consciously, “I offered to clean off the marshmallow Chase left on her pants leg.”
“Something is wrong if that made her run.” Shelley thought for a minute. “Maybe it’s the kids.”
Cassie replayed Kathleen’s actions. There had been kids around most of the times Kathleen had moved away from her. “Yeah, maybe it’s just the kids.”
After a few minutes, Shelley patted her on the leg and joined the group around the fire. Cassie followed her, but she put her chair outside of the ring around the fire. She listened to Kathleen tell one of the guests about Fosters, but she didn’t participate in the conversations unless asked directly. She thought about how good it felt to have Kathleen here. She watched Chase and the other kids play with a glow ball. This was going to be a good summer; she was going to make sure of it.
* * *
At nine, Cassie decided to send Chase in for his shower. He said good night to everyone and then went reluctantly into the house. Zoey and Pandy followed him to the house where they lay down on the porch. Cassie and Shelley carried the remaining food inside with help from Greg and Dillon. Kathleen, Morgan and Shaun went for a walk around the lake. Kaitlyn and Dani went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed.
After everything was cleaned up, Dillon and Shelley left with a reminder to Cassie to call if she needed them over the weekend. Chase had returned to the kitchen in search of a snack and Kathleen was helping him pick something healthy.
“Can I shower while the girls are showering upstairs?” Greg asked.
“I’ve never had this many people in the house at one time.” Cassie laughed. “Try it and then we’ll know.”
“Okay, if I hear someone yelling I’ll shut it back off.”
Cassie unlocked the liquor cabinet, removing the blue bottle of vodka. She poured a splash into her glass and added cranberry juice. She poured a second glass and passed it to Kathleen.
Cassie secured the vodka back in the cabinet and took her glass to the living room. Chase flopped onto the cushion beside her.
Cassie softly whispered to him. “So what do you think of the girls now?”
He smiled. “Mostly they’re okay.”
“Just mostly?”
“Well…Morgan scares me.”
Cassie laughed. “She scares me too, buddy.”
“I like Dani and Kaitlyn though. We’re going to ride the golf cart in the morning.”
“Okay. Remember to drive slowly and watch for people and cars.”
“I will.”
Cassie gave him a hug, and he headed down the hall as Greg came out of the bathroom. Greg waved and followed Chase into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
Cassie hadn’t noticed Kathleen leaving the house, but she looked up when the door opened. Kathleen, Morgan and Shaun came in together. Kathleen pointed up the stairs and the two girls obeyed.
“Are they okay?” Cassie asked.
“They’re fine. I think they were only going to see how long they could stay outside before someone made them come in.”
Kathleen picked up her glass on her way to the living room and sat down opposite Cassie.
“Testing us already?”
Kathleen raised her eyebrows. “Of course.”
“Do we need to post a guard for the night?” Cassie laughed, but she was also serious.
“I don’t think so.” Kathleen sighed. “I spent the morning with them before the van arrived. We went over rules and what things would get them sent directly back to the group home. Leaving the house during the night is definitely one of those things.”
Cassie stared at her. The soft light from the kitchen silhouetted her face and Cassie longed to touch her. Kathleen seemed unable to make eye contact with her and got up, walking into the kitchen. Cassie followed her. When Kathleen stopped and turned to her, she had tears in her eyes. Cassie pulled her into her arms, breathing her scent in deeply before kissing her. Gently running her tongue along soft lips, she enjoyed the heat from inside Kathleen’s mouth.
“I have been dying to do that all day,” Cassie whispered into her ear as she pulled her back into a full body hug. She felt Kathleen sob and she pulled her head back to look at her.
“Oh, Kathleen.” She smoothed her thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away the tears that were starting to roll down her face. “What’s wrong?”
Kathleen sobbed again. “I didn’t think this plan through very well.”
“I couldn’t be happier to have you here for the next two
months.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too, but then I saw you and realized we can’t do this.” She motioned between them. “Us. Not with the girls here.”
“Okay.” Cassie slowly processed what she was saying. “I thought you were out?”
“I am, but I don’t want to put this relationship on display in front of the girls. We barely know each other and all I want to do is take you to bed. What kind of role model can I be when I’m stealing a kiss at every corner?”
“Okay. We’ll use this time to get to know each other.” She softly wiped the tears from Kathleen’s face again. “We can make this work. We will make this work.”
Cassie bent her head and kissed her again gently. She wanted to convince her that they could hold back their passion. Later, she would deal with the fact that Kathleen would be across the hall for the next two months and she wouldn’t be able to touch or hold her.
“Ms. Cassie?” Dani called from the stairs.
Cassie crossed the kitchen in two strides to meet Dani before she came into the kitchen. Dani was starting down the stairs, and Cassie leaned on the banister to stop her descent. She wanted to give Kathleen as much time as she needed to compose herself. “Yes, Dani?”
“We…” Dani looked behind her and the other three girls appeared at the top of the stairs. “We just wanted to thank you for allowing us to stay with you.”
The other girls nodded their agreement.
“Yes, thank you,” Kathleen said, placing her hand on Cassie’s back before stepping past her. She looked back into Cassie’s eyes. “For everything.” Turning back to the four teenagers, she shooed them up the stairs and into their rooms.
Cassie waited until all the doors shut, including Kathleen’s, and then she locked the doors and turned out the lights. She called Zoey and Pandy, who followed her up the stairs. The excitement she had felt earlier when she saw Kathleen get out of the car was gone. As she crawled into bed with her clothes still on she tried to convince herself that this situation was only temporary. The pain in Kathleen’s eyes proved she still wanted her, but the good times they had shared all faded into a fitful night of horrible dreams.
