by J. M. Miller
“Fine,” Carson interrupted her. “If you want to hear it out here, fine. Why on earth would you ride on a bike today?”
“Why not? I didn’t exactly have another way home!”
I moved forward to speak, but Carson spoke again before I had a chance to interject. “You fainted, LJ. The message I got from the school said that you passed out in the cafeteria.”
“You passed out today?” I jumped into the conversation.
“Wait, Gavin.” She ignored me and Carson, grabbing Gavin’s arm before he could leave.
“LJ, I’m fine. Don’t worry,” Gavin said, pulling his arm from her grasp and taking the steps up to the house.
After Gavin went through the front door, I spoke first. “Why didn’t you tell me you fainted today? I agree with your dad, you shouldn’t have ridden on a bike after that.”
When she turned back to face us, drops of blood ran from her nose.
Shit. Another nosebleed?
“You’re bleeding,” Carson said, grabbing a tissue from the car for her.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” She snatched the tissue, put it to her nose, and tilted her face forward. “So what if I fainted earlier? The nurse said it was probably stress and lack of food. Can you believe that they actually thought I was on drugs because I took some freaking Tylenol? We all know that’s not true so there’s no reason to panic.”
“Yes, there is a reason to panic. You could’ve passed out again while you were on the bike, LJ!” Carson said.
I nodded when LJ’s eyes shifted to me. She squinted, searching for something in my eyes, then her lips tipped down. “Fine. I’m sorry,” she conceded to Carson in a squished voice. “Is there anything else?”
“You aren’t working today so just go inside and eat something if you’re hungry, or go lie down. I’ll let Simone know.”
“What? That’s a bit ridiculous, Dad. I’m pretty sure I can plant flower bulbs without hurting myself.”
“It’s probably good idea to rest, LJ,” I agreed with Carson again. There was something going on with her and I wasn’t convinced stress and lack of food were to blame. Regardless of the causes, taking the day off was a good idea. “There isn’t much to do today, anyway.”
“Fine,” she breathed out then glanced at me one final time before picking up her bag and going into the house. She was pissed at both of us.
“I’ve got to say that I’m relieved you didn’t know about her fainting,” Carson said after LJ closed the house door. “I would have second guessed your ability to teach Gavin.”
“I was absent today. That’s why I didn’t know.” His early assumption didn’t irritate me. What did, however, was that he neglected to apologize to LJ for forgetting her. I knew it wasn’t my place to discuss any of their family issues, but I still wanted him to hear it from someone else. “I went in to drop something off. That’s when I saw her alone on the curb. I would’ve waited with her, but she didn’t know how long you’d be.”
His eyes dropped and he let out a sigh. “Thanks. She had her own car last year in Summerlin so I didn’t have to worry about picking them up while I worked. But, I’m moving to the night shift now so as long as I think she’s okay to drive it, she’ll have the Escape during the day. Hopefully, that will help.”
The news affected me more than it should have. She wouldn’t need a ride again. I hadn’t even considered asking her yet, but after today I thought she’d like the chance before winter killed all bike activity.
“I guess I should go,” I said and climbed on my bike.
Carson walked up to the door. “I’ll get Gavin some riding boots before this weekend.”
I nodded, started the bike, and drove back to my house.
“Carson came over earlier to tell me LJ couldn’t work today,” Simone said, walking up behind me while I covered another tulip bulb in the front garden. “He didn’t like me questioning him about it.”
I didn’t answer. I knew where this was going. More than likely, in true Simone form, she’d overstepped her bounds by asking something personal and he probably shut the conversation down. She was wired to gather all information involved, even if it crossed an offensive line.
She moved to my side to eye my progress. “Do you think she’d fake something like that to get out of work?”
“What?” I scoffed. “No, of course not.”
“Emily said that she witnessed the incident today and it looked like LJ wanted attention.”
“Wow. That’s pretty low, even for Emily. She was probably wondering why she hadn’t thought of doing something like that herself.”
“No need to get snide,” she said with a small inflection. “I don’t think Emily would lie about something like that.”
“Then I think you are losing your touch, Simone. You’ve obviously been too easy on her because she’s not afraid to feed you crap.” I plugged another bulb, pushed soil over it, and sprayed the entire row with enough water to settle the dirt.
“Then tell me, Ben. You’ve been working with LJ. When do you think the bomb will drop?”
I shook my head. “I think we were being paranoid before. She likes this place.”
“Is there something going on that I should know about?” She placed her hands on her hips and scanned the rest of the property.
I laughed. “Right. I’m guessing Emily happily suggested something was happening between LJ and me? Look, Simone. All I know is she hasn’t had one complaint about the job and she’s nicer than I thought she’d be.”
“Has she mentioned selling?”
“Nope,” I said with a shrug. “It didn’t sound like she’s even thought about it. If I hear anything different, I’ll let you know.” The property had the highest of my priorities before, but everything had flipped in just over a week. Now that I’d been around LJ, I was more concerned with the alleged curse than I was about her firing anyone.
“Hmm,” she said to herself, crossing her arms over her white button-down and looking toward LJ’s house. “I guess you’ll be signing for your piece of property soon. What are your plans?”
“I’ll have a couple of good weeks left before winter. I guess I’ll move some dirt around back there for the track.”
“As long as you only ride when no guests are on the property.”
“Nothing will change.”
She glanced around the property, her eyes worrisome. “I hope not,” she said.
“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Spaz said as I stared at LJ from our lunch table the next day.
“What?” I asked, distracted.
“Well, you keep on staring at her like a freaking psycho stalker. You might as well go say hi before she gets a restraining order.” He took a bite of apple, chewing it like a cow.
“Uh!” Iz uttered, smacking him in the arm until he closed his mouth. “While you’re at it, punch her in the head like Spaz did.” She laughed.
“Babe!” Spaz scolded her.
“I thought you said she passed out in front of the table?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“She passed out then I, uh … I accidentally hit her when I tripped.”
I shook my head and looked back to LJ. At least she hadn’t been hurt too badly. A text book lay wide open in front of her. She took small bites from her sandwich and kept her eyes on the pages. When she reached into her bag, I noticed an earphone cord coming out of her ear. She pulled something from the bag and glanced around stealthily before popping her hand to her mouth. After lunch ended, I didn’t see her again until we started work.
“How are you feeling today?” I asked when she met me at the side garden.
“Not bad. You?” Her voice was clipped. She was still irritated that I’d agreed with her dad yesterday. I wasn’t sure what I could do to change her mind, but I had to figure it out if I wanted to get back on her good side, and back into the basement.
“Good. I heard Gavin wasn’t the only one to take a hit yesterday. It’s a good thing Spaz would be considered a fea
therweight class if he ever boxed.”
“Yeah,” she replied unamused. “Are we just planting bulbs today?”
I dropped the bag of tulip bulbs and the small spades into the garden’s mulch. “Yup. How’s your head?”
“I’m okay. Do you mind if I listen to music while I work?”
She was more pissed than I thought. She didn’t even want to talk. “No problem. Just watch what I do and continue in rows.” I’d have to think of a better way to fix this.
Carson’s SUV pulled around the drive and parked by their house. We watched Gavin hop out followed by Carson, whose face was redder than it was yesterday.
“I’m serious, Gavin. I have to work, but you are not allowed any games tonight,” Carson said sternly.
“I already told you I didn’t start it. Why am I in trouble?”
LJ walked up the sloped lawn to meet them. “What’s up?”
I listened as I started digging the first set of holes.
“Nothing,” Gavin replied, trying to duck past her to get to the house.
She weaved in front of him so he couldn’t pass. “You got into another fight?”
“I didn’t start it, but I ended it. No one really expected the little rich kid to fight back after yesterday’s pummeling.”
Carson looked at him, crossing his arms over his dark blue scrubs. “I don’t care if someone else started it or not.”
“So you actually fought back?” LJ asked, shocked.
“I’ve been full of surprises lately, right?” Gavin said. “I was ready for another beatdown, but for some reason it felt like I had a chance.” His eyes lit up under yesterday’s bruising and his chest puffed out. He was excited and proud, like he’d never fought before. And he probably hadn’t.
“Who?” LJ asked.
“This kid named Jake. He’s still pissed that his ex-girlfriend, Taylor, said yes about going out with me.”
“Well, you really had no choice, right? You either hit back, or get beat again, right?” she prompted him.
“That’s the thing. I knew it was coming, and I could’ve walked another way after the bell, but, I don’t know. I just manned-up, I guess. I feel like a Spartan or something.” He shrugged.
I laughed under my breath while I planted the first bulb. Carson smirked at Gavin’s statement, but regained his stern look immediately. LJ didn’t laugh, or smile. Her brows knitted together in a troubled expression.
“Well, Holyfield,” Carson said. “It doesn’t change anything. You still can’t play any games tonight. You’re grounded.”
“For how long?”
“The rest of the week,” Carson replied, laying a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, walking him inside.
“Two fights in one week? Is your brother going to start a club or something?” I joked when LJ returned to the garden.
“I doubt it. He’s not the type,” she answered, fixing her earphones back into place. “He must have found some courage today.”
Monday was the worst. It ranked up there with the day I’d realized my mom was using drugs, and the day she left us. It was painful, mentally and physically. Headaches and the noisy high pitches came in waves and spanned the whole day. At home, I’d heard Gavin’s voice ask for the courage to defend himself. That happened right after he’d explained the fight at school. I’d instantly remembered his voice on Saturday, asking for the confidence to talk to girls. I was convinced it was a coincidence, but my mind was so chaotic I couldn’t think straight. The pain was killing my focus, and my sanity.
After hearing Gavin’s voice again, and dealing with Dad and Ben’s joint lecture about motorcycle safety, I was more than ready to end the day. My phone no longer had Web access, but it still had music so I plugged in my earbuds later to relax. It drowned everything out, sedating my mind. I used the technique at school on Tuesday too, listening whenever I had a chance during classes, at lunch, and in the hallways. The headaches remained dull and I survived lunch without fainting.
Later that afternoon, I found out Gavin had been in another fight at school. He knew it would happen, and he could’ve avoided it, but he chose to fight. Somehow, he’d found the courage to fight. It was exactly what his voice had wanted the day before. Now I knew it wasn’t coincidental. The voices’ requests were being granted somehow.
It was real. It happened.
And I had no idea how.
The headaches raged through the rest of the week, but at a much more tolerable level. They seemed to be weakening. I kept listening to music, unsure if it played a part, but unwilling to test the theory by stopping. It also helped me distance myself from Ben at work, though it didn’t fully stop his efforts. Whenever I had to talk to him about my next task, he would sneak in a random joke or ask me how I was feeling. It was difficult to ignore him; he was charming and witty. But since he’d agreed with my father, I didn’t know how to feel about him. It made me think he was trying to score points by piggybacking on my father’s cardboard concern. I didn’t need another artificial guy in my life. I’d had enough.
The grounds looked stunning for an early wedding on Saturday. During the week, we’d finished the bulb planting for next spring, mowed, and trimmed back the bushes lining the estate’s entrance road. I stared over the courtyard’s wall from my bedroom window and watched another bride and groom say vows under the trellis. Later, when the reception ended over at the event house and I’d finished my weekend homework, a truck drove out back to Ben’s house. It had antlers mounted to its dented hood and three bikes tied upright in the bed.
“Are you coming out to watch?” Gavin’s voice screamed up the staircase.
“Watch what?” I responded loudly, peering through my bedroom window as the truck stopped in front of Ben’s house. Spaz and Izzy jumped out of the deer truck and Ben emerged from his house to greet them.
“I’m riding today. Are you coming out?”
“I think I’m going to pass,” I answered.
“Hey.” Gavin peeked through the door, donning his new boots, unfastened. “What’s the deal? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just … I don’t know.” I frowned at him.
“Come on! It’ll be a blast. You can watch me fall like an idiot.”
“Just be sure to wear a helmet, okay?” I asked, glancing through the window again while Ben and his friends unloaded the bikes.
“I’m not that big of an idiot. Anyway, since Dad is at work, I figured you’d want to hang out. I know you’ve been hiding when he’s home. Plus, what about Ben?”
“What about Ben?” I glared at him over my shoulder.
“I don’t know. I saw him earlier. He asked me how you’ve been.”
“I see him every day. Why would he ask you that?”
“I don’t know. Why would he?” Gavin asked, lifting his brow.
I scowled at him. “I’m not in the mood for head games, Gav.”
“Are you in the mood to watch me bash my head?”
“It’s tempting.”
“Good, but don’t wait too long. I’ll be a pro after an hour or so,” he stated before leaving the room.
I watched from the silence of my room for a while. Ben, Spaz, and Izzy all talked around the bike as Gavin tested the seat. Ben pointed at things on the bike with exaggerated hand motions that made me smile. It looked adorably silly. Spaz and Izzy got on their own bikes, demonstrating turns and techniques.
After Gavin’s first jerky takeoff and stall, they traveled to the back of the property where Ben usually rode. I went outside for a closer view, sneaking out to the barn to remain hidden. I climbed up the loft’s ladder then wove around stacks of boxes and machine parts to get to one of the two small windows. The interior shutter was closed so I swung it open for a view of the makeshift track. I took a seat on a box in time to see Gavin stall the bike again.
Later, when he finally completed a full lap on the track, my eyes began to wander. Half of the loft was like an extension to the basement, with boxes of old papers, baskets, and
miscellaneous junk. A medium box with the word “Rina” written on the top sat below the base of the window. Mom. I unfolded the cardboard flaps to a picnic basket, complete with a red-and-white checkered liner and a double flip lid. It was filled with pictures and cards. I picked up a picture of Janine standing beside a much younger version of my mom. Both of them had their hands pressed to my mom’s extended belly, and the same picnic basket sat at their feet. There wasn’t a date. The belly had to be me. If it were Gavin, I might’ve been old enough to remember this visit.
I dug through the rest of the picnic basket, finding a yellowed handkerchief embroidered with the initials CS and an antique brass skeleton key with an oval finger grip and beveled notches.
“No, that was awesome,” Ben’s voice traveled into the barn. “Everyone flips over the handle bars when they first learn.”
I closed the basket and crouched beside a folded table to hide where I could still see them.
Laughter erupted from all of them. “No, but seriously,” Ben spoke again. “You did really well for your first time.”
“Yeah I agree, man. It took me a lot longer to work it out,” Spaz said.
“Really?” Gavin asked in a hopeful voice, walking the smallest bike inside.
Izzy laughed. “Don’t let him fool you, Gav. He still needs lessons.”
“That’s funny coming from a girl who stalls on jumps,” Spaz replied.
“That was one time! Don’t even get me started on your outtake reel,” Izzy snapped and playfully jumped on his back.
“It was good,” Ben said to Gavin. “We’ll have to go out again tomorrow, but it’ll have to be after the scheduled bat mitzvah.”
“Okay, yeah. That sounds awesome. Thanks so much for everything, for letting me use the bike and the gear.” Gavin sounded so excited. Hearing the happiness in his voice made my heart fill with joy. I never expected it to happen here, but I was thrilled it had.
“No problem. You gave me an excuse to store the crap over here with Ben. My mom has been on me about making room in our shed to store other junk.” Spaz said, scratching his head as he stared at Ben’s bikes parked on the opposite side of the barn.
