by J. M. Miller
“Are you Simone?” a dainty voice traveled in from the hallway.
I wiped my face once more before turning. “Um, no. I’m LJ, but I do work here. Is there something I can help you with?”
The girl was clearly in the wedding party, sporting a strapless, Pepto pink dress and a twisted updo. “Hi, I’m Lana, the maid of honor. The bride’s dressing room is scorching and the window’s stuck. She’s starting to sweat buckets, so we need to either get it open or switch rooms. There’s no way she can put her dress on like this.”
“I’ll give you a hand.” I really had no idea how I could help, but it was either try or possibly have to call Lloyd or Ben. That wasn’t happening.
I followed her down the hall, barely able to see. My brain throbbed as if it were detaching from my skull. I had to find some Tylenol before I passed out. She led us to the back of the mansion, overlooking the courtyard. Without waiting for an answer to her knock, she moved into the dressing room and ushered me to the back window. I gazed out at the wedding guests mingling around the courtyard’s lily pond.
“What do you think?” she asked, leaning her shoulder against one of the tied-back curtains while I ran a finger over the windowpane.
“Can you open it?” a voice snapped behind us.
“Not sure yet,” Lana replied.
The bride stepped around a wall divide, dressed only in short shorts and a strapless bra. She fanned herself and began to pace. “Where’s Keena?”
Lana hurried over to her. “I think she was dealing with the groomsmen. It’ll be fine, Mel,” she said a little more quietly. “It’s cool outside anyway.”
“Right,” Mel replied halfheartedly. “Why I chose a November wedding. But why does this place have the heat set to level Hell?”
It didn’t feel Hell-worthy to me, but I surely wouldn’t state that. Instead, I turned my attention to the window as they continued to talk, trying to concentrate as my pulse assaulted my ears.
“I wish I had the courage to tell him the truth,” Mel’s voice said in my mind.
Did she want to tell the groom the truth about something? Maybe that was the real reason she was sweating.
“Can you get Jackie for me?” Mel asked Lana.
“Sure,” Lana said and left the room.
Mel continued to pace behind me. Her bare soles pounded the hardwood with every worried step.
I leaned closer to the pane to examine the window’s latches. One was skewed enough to keep the lock in place even though the latch was retracted. I pried it out and lifted the window. Thank God.
Mel hurried over to the window, staying out of view of the guests downstairs. “Oh, that feels great. Thank you so much…” She tilted her head and squinted her eyes, silently asking for my name as she extended her hand to me.
I stared at it for a long moment, wrestling with a decision she would never know. Should I grant her wish? It was her wedding day. I could give her this gift. But I didn’t know who the “him” was. It could be her groom, which may not be a good thing. Or maybe she was referring to someone else entirely.
“LJ,” I said, taking her hand and welcoming the rush.
She blinked rapidly, almost as if she’d felt something. “LJ. Well, thank you.”
“No problem. Best wishes today,” I said, dropping her hand and turning away. Luckily, there was a tissue box on the thin table beside the door. I snatched a tissue and stepped into the hallway. Peeking out of the hallway window, I watched the people in the courtyard. Most were now seated, waiting for the ceremony to start.
I heard footsteps behind me and glanced back just as a dress in a lighter shade of Pepto disappeared through the door. Pinching my nose tightly, I started to walk back to the office. I had to find some Tylenol. The bride’s door was still cracked, and I instantly froze when my eyes wandered inside.
Mel and who I could only assume was Jackie were in the middle of a kiss. Jackie’s hands roamed all over Mel’s barely dressed body as Mel slid her hands across Jackie’s Pepto-covered butt.
“Oh, Mel, I love you. Please don’t do this to us,” Jackie pleaded.
Oh, no.
“I’m telling him, Jackie,” Mel admitted between kisses.
Oh, no!
After those words, their bodies started to tangle in ways meant for their eyes only so I backed away from the door. What did I just do? Sweat lined my palms as I glanced out the hallway window. The groom walked between the chairs toward the courtyard trellis. He leaned over to kiss an older woman on the cheek then plastered a bright smile on his face while they chatted.
Shit!
I retreated to the office and began to pace. Had I just ruined someone’s life? The bride was in love with one of her bridesmaids and now she was going to tell the groom? A minute lat
er, a flash of pink flew past the door. I kept pacing, feeling the dread pooling in my stomach. My head continued to pound, but I didn’t dare leave the office for fear of what was about to happen.
Keena’s sand suit passed by the doorway next, followed quickly by a Pepto dress and a crisp black tux.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I leaned against the office’s doorjamb, staring out into an empty hallway. There was no sound. The calm before the storm.
A deep manly yell bellowed down the hall followed by the sound of something crashing. I flinched even though I wasn’t in the same room. My heart hurt for him, and I didn’t even know him.
“Dammit, Melany!” his deep voice boomed, traveling closer. I sank back into the room a few steps so I wouldn’t be seen. “You said that was a one-time thing. You said it didn’t mean anything. Dammit!” His voice was harsh, but pained.
“I thought it would be. I never meant for it to go any further, but it did. And I can’t marry you when I know it isn’t the right thing to do. I wouldn’t be happy. You wouldn’t be happy.”
“Ah!” the groom roared. “Why?” his voice cracked and dropped, fading into a quiet plea.
When she spoke again, I could tell they’d stopped feet from the office door. “I can’t marry you and love her, too. That wouldn’t be fair to either of you.”
“You get to deal with everyone downstairs,” he said, his voice hardening. “I want your shit out of my house tomorrow.”
I couldn’t stop my own tears from spilling. I’d just ruined their wedding. Would their marriage have ended later anyway? Maybe. But now there wasn’t even a chance.
A little while after the groom left, Keena poked her head through the door to give me a brief explanation of the chaos. She was charged to let most of the guests know. I didn’t envy that job. Most guests filtered out of the event house right away, but quite a few moved through the upstairs hallways for the next half hour.
Unable to take the pain any longer, I dug through Simone’s desk for some Tylenol. When I lifted a notepad out of the side drawer, I noticed an envelope with a heart on the front. Curiosity got the better of me. I removed the envelope, noting the sweet love calligraphy on the front, though I didn’t bother reading the words. I wanted to know if the wish I’d granted for Simone had panned out. Had she told her guy how she really felt? I needed some good news to blanket the guilt of destroying someone else’s chance at happiness.
I flipped the card open, looking directly at the signature.
Carson.
Dad?
What the hell? Dad was Simone’s boyfriend and hadn’t said anything? Of course he hadn’t. I grunted and shoved the card back into the drawer. Screw this place!
Since I technically couldn’t leave until everyone was gone, I made my way downstairs to view the carnage myself. Some stragglers tore into the food while others helped pack up. If I had to guess, I’d say they all had seats on the bride’s side.
“I wish I had the drive to start my own business,” a girl’s voice said.
Part-timers carried linens and table pieces from the ballroom. They looked happy, knowing they’d get to leave work early. A string quartet hauled their cases and stand
s, exiting out the front doors. Other guests huddled in small groups to gossip.
“I wish I had the energy to go out later,” a guy’s voice said.
I pushed my face into my hands, rubbing my fingers into my temples.
“I wish I had the guts to quit this job,” a different girl’s voice said.
“I wish I could remember that one girl’s name,” another guy said.
So many voices.
So many wishes.
Ben told me I had to stop. He was probably right. Look at what I’d done today. One guy’s happiness snuffed out in the blink of an eye.
“I wish I had the balls to move out west,” a different guy’s voice said.
Maybe it was best that their relationship ended sooner rather than later. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. It stung like hell, but it was better to do it fast than prolong the inevitable.
Exactly like the curse. Exactly my point. Ben wanted me to stop the progression. Maybe Janine had done the same, attempting to find answers she never could. For me, though, there was no reason to wait. I was already damned. I was ready to rip off the Band-Aid.
I made my way over to a group of people by the kitchen, grabbing new tissues from a hallway table along the way.
“Hi,” I said, extending my hand as they all looked me over.
“Is this how it’s going to be?” Pop’s voice broke through my clouded thoughts, mid drink.
I tipped the bottle down away from my lips, already too drunk to try and hide it. “What do you mean?” I asked, not bothering to sit up. The basement’s bed had pretty much become my home this last week. It was already Saturday. The darkness down here had a special way of hiding the time and blending the days. It was perfect.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he said with a voice split between concern and frustration. He stepped off the final stair and placed his hands on his hips while his eyes bored holes into the side of my careless face.
I knew what he meant. The beer. In my hand.
I swirled the bottle around beside my bent leg, watching the liquid funnel inside, not wanting to have a conversation with him right now. It had been a week since I’d talked to LJ. I hadn’t disclosed everything about our last meeting to Pop, but I did let him know that she was no longer concerned with looking for the last well stone, or anything else. He’d said it was her stage of denial, a way for her to control a situation that she had no control over. He’d also said that she would move past it eventually, we just needed to continue to help her.
I wasn’t sure I agreed with him. She’d sounded pretty solid on the not wanting me to help part. She wouldn’t even look at me the few times I’d seen her at school. Thankfully, I had started my new Co-op schedule. As much as I loved Iz and Spaz, I was glad I no longer had to sit through lunch with them. I was tired of getting drilled with questions from Spaz, and slapped with advice from Iz. When they noticed my shaved head Monday, they both freaked. It was almost as if I had brought a gun to school or something. Can’t a guy get a damn haircut? They assumed my next step was suicide. They should know the only chance of that happening was if I drowned in beer.
I took another sip. I guess it was possible if LJ didn’t “move past it” as Pop said.
Pop walked closer when I didn’t answer him. I didn’t want to look at him. What am I more afraid to see? My shame or his pity?
His thick hand snatched the beer out of my grip and chucked the bottle across the room. It didn’t register with me until the glass broke like all the others had last week. “Get the hell up!” he yelled.
I kept my position and finally looked in his eyes. There was no pity there, only anger. It burnt right through my skin and dug up every mistake I’d ever made. He’d never looked at me this way before. It was almost like I was looking into my father’s eyes instead of his.
“This,” he said harshly, swiping his hand through the air over my body, “stops now. I’ve waited long enough for you to pull your head out of your ass. I won’t sit here and watch anymore. It’s all a little too familiar.” His eyes continued to assess me.
His reference to my father stung a bit. And it stung because he was right. I was sliding down a mountain of misery with no wall to crash into. I opened my dry mouth to say something, anything, but he leaned in a little closer before I could speak, scrambling my thoughts with a pinch of his brow.
“This is not about you.” His mustache barely moved as he forced the words through his teeth. “It’s about her, Benjamin. It doesn’t matter what she said to you. It doesn’t even matter that you love her. But if you truly do love her, you’ll step up, shake the self-absorbed shit off your stinkin’ clothes, and find a way to save her.”
“I’ve been helping,” I slurred.
“Going through boxes with me isn’t exactly thinking outside of one. That door is closed now anyway. I just brought the last one over from the event house.” His voice lowered as he scanned the basement.
I scowled at what that meant. “There’s nothing else,” I admitted weakly. “She won’t let me in the house. She won’t even look at me.” Even if I was able to get inside by hanging out with Gavin, I still would be stuck. He’d get suspicious if I started snooping around.
Pop sighed. “I’m realizing now Genie kept me at a distance on purpose. She told me some details, but she didn’t want me intervening. It saddens me to think that she would do this to LJ without a warning or reason. Maybe it all slipped away before she could explain.” He moved toward the cluttered portion of our basement, surveying our own boxes. “There has to be something that we are missing.”
We were missing a lot. And I was missing LJ.
Pop turned back to me and placed his hands on his hips again. “You said she was choosing to accept it. Did she give a reason?”
“Nothing specific,” I replied, thinking about our last kiss. I told her I’d do whatever it took to help her, but she didn’t want me to. “She’s definitely granting wishes more often than Janine had. She said it felt good to help people instead of hurting them. Maybe she thinks she needs to repent for being mean or some shit. Like being mean deserves that kind of punishment.” My chest tightened.
Pop rubbed a hand over his bald head with a sigh. “Is she starting to slip?”
I stared at my bent leg in front of me, picturing her straddling my lap last week. “Yeah,” I replied solemnly. “She jumped back a week. It shocked her. She told me it was the longest gap.” I finally sat upright, head spinning from the blood and alcohol rush, and rubbed my hands on my thighs to wake my legs. “I told her she needed to stop. She’s had a lot of nosebleeds…” I shook my head while a lump settled in my throat.
“We may have to tell Carson. I’m not sure what else to do at this point.” He walked toward the refrigerator and started to pace. “I’ll try to come up with a problem to get me into the house. You guys checked the major areas. Maybe I can peek into the other rooms.”
I nodded even though he wasn’t looking at me.
“Try harder with LJ,” he continued, speaking his thoughts as he paced. “Maybe you can get her to reconsider.”
“I don’t think—”
“Benjamin.” He stopped to look me in the eye again. “We will figure this out. We just need to try every avenue and think outside of those boxes.”
I nodded again then remembered what LJ had told me about Rina. Why was she here now? Was it simply because she’d sobered up? “Rina’s been back for a bit. I wonder if she knows anything.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. I don’t exactly know what transpired between her and Janine. If LJ still won’t talk to you, maybe try Gavin. Rina may have talked to him.”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
He turned around, yanked the fridge open, and pulled out the latest half-empty case of beer. “There’s a wedding tomorrow. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind drinking these.”
Ugh. I wiped a hand down my face, knowing I was in for a restless night.
Restless, but clear
.
Sodium chloride. Sodium chloride. I fluttered my legs behind me on the bed and strummed one set of fingers against my cheek while staring at my chemistry book. What’s the bond? Covalent? Ionic?
I tapped my pen on the study sheet that was due tomorrow and flipped the book’s page again. My retention is slipping.
“Ah!” I yelled in frustration, sweeping the books away and burying my face into the comforter.
“Hey,” Gavin’s voice came from my bedroom door.
“Hey,” I responded with my face still mashed into the bed. I could hear the door open fully and his footfalls on the wood floor.
“I just wanted to warn you that Dad’s coming up to talk after he finishes the bills.”
“Thanks for the heads up,” I replied and finally shifted my face sideways so I could see him.
“No problem,” he replied, scratching his left elbow above the black cast wrapped around his forearm. He’d been restless since the break. The doctor told him it would be a while before he could get back on a dirt bike, testing his already limited patience. At least he still had use of his fingers to play games.
I watched him look around the room uneasily. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied with somewhat of a sigh as he walked to the window facing Ben’s house. He peered through the glass, silently staring over Stockton grounds.
Knowing his answer was a load of bull, I sat up and closed my books. “What’s up? Do you miss riding?”
“Of course there’s that,” he admitted. “It’s also… Taylor. She’s been different lately.”
Oh crap. “Like how?”
He shook his head, still facing the window. “She hasn’t talked as much this week. She usually doesn’t shut up.”
“Have you talked since school Friday?”
He turned around with a scrutinizing look, scrunching his brow and pulling in his chin. “You dropped me off at her house yesterday. I spent the day there.”
I did? I rubbed my palms over the top of my legs absently. “Right, I meant after that. Have you talked to her today?”
