“Dude, you okay?” Charlie asks. “The dough would be crying for mercy if it could talk.”
“Sorry.” I stop, realizing that I’m breathing hard. “A lot of stuff on my mind.”
“No worries.” Charlie takes the dough and shapes it into buns on a baking sheet. “You want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. How can I explain that I unknowingly cheated with my best friend’s secret girlfriend? It sounds like a freaking soap opera. It also makes me sound pathetic.
When Mrs. Parker comes in for the early morning shift, I go home. Izzy’s Dork Squad is sprawled out in the living room. I don’t think I’ll be able to chill out with them again, and that hurts more than I expected. I didn’t have to be Russ Pearson the Football Player with them, but I don’t think I can stand seeing Garret and Keira together.
I head upstairs, even though Izzy shouts my full name. I throw my jacket and shirt on the floor and fall into bed. For a second, I wonder if it really happened. Maybe it was a dream and I’ve been in bed this whole time.
But then my phone buzzes. The text is from Keira, and for once I’m not racing to open it. Sorry.
My anger flares up. Sorry u got caught.
No. Shouldn’t have done that, messed up.
I hate that I want to believe her, that the thought of not being with her makes me feel empty inside. Why, then?
Cuz ur so amazing and real and ur such a good kisser.
I close my eyes. Breathe slowly. I will not cry over this. It was only a week, and obviously I completely misjudged her. Trent was right—she’s kind of a messed-up bitch. I don’t know how he knew, but he totally called it.
Garret. Part of me is furious he didn’t tell me, but then I wonder how much of that came from Keira. When I think about it, he was giving me hints. Like when he said that he thought he almost had her. Maybe they were getting close to going public, but then she kissed me and came up with that crap about Izzy not approving of him.
I have to get him away from her. If she can cheat on him with his best friend, there’s no telling what else she’s capable of. Garr will get hurt eventually, even if he never finds out about me.
I open up a blank text and type my last message to Keira: If u cheat on Garr again, I’ll make sure he knows what u are.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Russ?” Daphne says. “Are you okay?”
I groan in reply, pulling my pillow over my head to block out the sound. Too early. Too much crap in my life.
“Are you sick?”
I grunt.
“Okay…Izzy is making pancakes and bacon and she wants to know if you want any.”
My stomach grumbles. I had decided I wasn’t even going downstairs for food, but if someone else is cooking maybe I could manage to eat. Rolling over, I find Daphne hovering in the doorway, like coming into my room would be entering another dimension. Her hair is everywhere and her pinched brow says she’s worried.
“Can you bring it up here?” I ask.
“Sure.” She disappears, her footsteps pattering down the hall.
I force myself out of bed to pee. My whole body feels sore, and all the tackles I took last night come flooding back. It always hits the next day, when the bruises are fully formed. There’s a nice purple one on my hip. I’m back in bed long before Daphne comes with the food.
She knocks softly, like a warning.
“Come in.”
I sit up just as she takes a seat on my bed. She holds out a tray filled with food—pancakes, bacon, a banana, and orange juice. When I take it, she pulls two pills out of her pocket. “Here, for the hangover.”
“I’m not hung over,” I say, taking them anyway. I’m so tired of lying. I’m so tired of doing this alone, truly alone. Garret…I still can’t believe he didn’t tell me. Why didn’t he just tell me? Then I wouldn’t have acted so stupid. “I was working at Parker’s.”
Her dark eyes widen. “Oh.”
“Garr and Keira came in. Together.” I stuff a piece of bacon in my mouth to combat the bad taste of those words.
Her jaw drops. “Together? Like, together together?”
I nod.
“Wow. I had no idea they were dating. I mean, he obviously liked her, but she was so flirty with…” She winces. “You. I thought maybe you guys were—”
As much as I want to, I can’t tell her that much. She’d think I’m a creep. “I’m pretty confused, too.”
She’s quiet for a second and I can feel her eyes on me. It drives me crazy when she does that, like she can look right into my soul and know everything I’m not saying. “But you like her.”
I choke on the orange juice. Her eyes meet mine, and I can’t help but feel ashamed. Keira—what did I like about her again? It’s like I turned a blind eye to everything wrong with her just because I didn’t want Garret to have her. Keira never looks at me like Izzy or Garret do, like she actually cares. It was all a game to her, and I fell for it.
“I thought I did,” I finally say. “But that was a big mistake. I just…I can’t believe neither of them told me, you know?”
“That does seem kind of messed up.” She plays with her chunky neon green bangle. “How long have they been dating?”
“Since she moved here.”
Her eyes go wide. “Seriously?”
I nod.
“That sucks. They just let you think she was single? I’d be pissed.”
“Something like that.” It feels good to have some of it out, to know at least someone else agrees that this situation is jacked up. And it’s not all my fault.
She sits there while I eat, scanning the pictures on my wall. Not that I have many. A couple of old music posters. Some of Izzy’s school pictures she forced on me. A few of Garret and me when we were kids, one playing soccer at four, another at our joint eighth birthday party, one at our junior high graduation, and one from the school trip to Six Flags.
“You really have known Garret forever, haven’t you,” she says.
I gulp down a bite. “Yeah.”
She frowns. “Must hurt a lot, what he did. I knew everything about Izzy and Colin, even though it was a huge secret.”
I nod because I can’t get anything out without turning into a baby.
She sighs. “But you’ve been working at Parker’s? That’s really cool.”
“No, it isn’t.” I finish off the rest of the orange juice.
“It is!” She smacks my leg. “They don’t hire anyone outside of family, and that place is legendary. You must have really impressed Old Man Parker. How is that not cool?”
I try not to smile. “No matter how you spin it, it’s still flipping burgers.”
“So?”
I can’t explain it to her. She’ll just yell at me for caring too much about what people think, and I can’t handle it today. I’m more than aware of what a screw-up I am. “Just don’t tell anyone about this stuff, okay?”
“Do you even have to ask?”
I lean back, watching her play with her hair. She’s been in my life for years, and yet I’ve always thought of her as Izzy’s friend. I don’t know when it happened, but she’s not just Izzy’s friend anymore. She means something to me, too. She’s there for me, just like Garret has been. “You’re a good friend, you know that?”
She smiles. “I am, aren’t I?”
It’s kind of a miracle that she can make me laugh, considering the circumstances. “And so humble.”
“Always.”
I shake my head, still laughing a little. “Seriously, Daphne, thanks for being my friend. Doesn’t feel like I have many of those these days.”
“I’ll always be your friend. I don’t have many either.” Her eyes are mesmerizing, not because they’re full of mystery like Keira’s, but because they’re honest. Real. And right now that is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. She points to my empty plate. “Are you done?”
I jump, only just realizing I was staring. “Oh, yeah.”
When she b
ends over to grab the tray, I get an eyeful of her cleavage. Where did those come from? I immediately look up, only to find her knowing smirk. “Need anything else?”
“Nope. Just sleep.”
She heads for the door. “Sweet dreams, then.”
I run a hand over my face, trying to calm down. But holy shit, she has a nice rack. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of it. No. I shake my head. This needs to stop. I shouldn’t be thinking of Daphne like that. She’s Izzy’s best friend and I can’t mess with that. Except the image won’t go away, and if there’s any girl who gets me it’s Daphne. I finally give up because, hell, it beats thinking about the other crap.
Chapter Twenty-Four
On Monday the bomb drops. The cheerleaders see Garret kissing Keira by his locker. They tell anyone within hearing range. People keep asking me about it, and I have to smile and act like I knew all along. No one can believe it. A jock and a skater? Insane.
By lunch I want to go home. Facing the cafeteria is too much. Garret will expect me to sit with him and Keira, to support them when I don’t. The team will expect me to sit with them, and if I don’t there’s no telling what Dallas will do. I’m tired of being thrown back and forth.
I stuff my bag in my locker and take my time organizing the mess in there. Then someone leans against the locker next to me.
“Hey,” Mercedes says.
Great, just what I need. “Hey.”
She takes a deep breath, as if she’s prepared a speech. “Look, I’m sorry I got a little crazy at the dance.”
“A little?”
She holds her hands up. “Okay, a lot. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess…I guess you’re the only guy I know who is a genuinely nice person and I like having you for a friend. I hoped we could be more, but I don’t want to lose our friendship because you don’t want to date me. So can we just forget it?”
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to forget it, but I nod anyway. “I have missed commiserating with you about average people classes.”
She smiles. “Didn’t you want to die when Mrs. Cannon made us sing that folksong?”
I groan. “What are we, five?”
We head for the cafeteria, and somehow having Mercedes by my side makes it seem okay. I can feel people looking at us, or maybe it’s just her. Whether I want to date her or not, there’s no denying she’s gorgeous. Tan, tall, curvy, and graceful. She has it all.
“So…Garr’s dating some skater chick?” She sounds hurt, no matter how hard she tries to cover it up.
“Yeah, weird, huh.”
“Very. What are you gonna do? Sit with him?”
I slow down. So much for feeling better. “I don’t know, maybe.”
She jumps in front of me. “You can’t!”
Her certainty takes me by surprise. “Why not?”
She pulls me into a quieter hall away from the lunch traffic. “You’re the most popular guy in school, Russ! If you go nuts like Garr, everything will go crazy. And Dallas…”
“Wait.” I hold up my hand, confused. “Since when have I ever been the most popular guy in school? That’s Garr.”
She laughs, actually laughs, as if I’m being completely ridiculous. “Are you kidding?”
“Uh, no. Garr’s the one who gets the girls. He’s the star receiver, the perfect student, the one everyone admires.” I almost feel embarrassed saying it all out loud. I don’t want to sound like I’m jealous of him, even if it’s the truth.
She gasps. “I get it now.”
“Get what?”
She laughs again. “Here you think you’re some sidekick when you’re, like, the Holy Grail.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
She pokes me right in the chest. “You are the guy everyone wants—tough, cool, funny, hot. And you cook, apparently, because you have to be even hotter. You’re the guy who’s impossible to get, the one every girl fantasizes about.” She shakes her head, like I’m an idiot for not knowing. “And here we all figured you thought you were too good for us, when you just honestly had no idea.”
I lean on the wall, unable to believe what she’s saying. “The only reason girls talk to me is to get to Garret.”
She leans next to me. “The only reason we date Garret is because we can’t get you.”
“I…that can’t be right.” I feel like I just got tackled. I’ve spent my whole life thinking Garret had the edge, especially when it came to girls, but threads of conversations come back to me. He always refused my claims he was king of the school. Did he see me as king? Daphne said I’d never understand not being popular, as if there was no chance I could be demoted. Mercedes said she wanted me first. Were all the girls I’ve passed to Garret really after me?
Is this how others really see me?
“You know, last year Emma Waters had this bet going that she could get you in bed before she graduated,” she says.
My eyes go wide. This can’t be happening. Emma was this smoking hot senior last year, yet another girl I thought was after Garret whenever she’d hang out with us at parties. She was nice, but I never would have guessed… “You’re joking.”
She shakes her head. “I’m dead serious. She lost four hundred bucks when you set her up with Garret for Prom.”
“No way. That’s crazy.” But I remember how much she talked about Prom. I figured she wanted to let Garret know she was available before he asked anyone else.
“I can name at least twenty girls who’d jump in bed with you right now if you asked.” She laughs again. “You really thought they were talking to you to get to Garret?”
“Can you stop laughing at me?”
“Sorry.” She wipes her eyes. “You know what, though?”
“What?”
“Knowing that you were totally clueless about this makes you that much hotter. It’s disgusting, actually.”
I can feel the smile creep onto my lips. All this time I was looking at what Garret had, never realizing that I might have something, too. Mercedes makes it sound like I’m James Bond or something, untouchable, the guy every girl wants. “Really? Because it makes me feel like a freaking idiot.”
She nudges me. “It’s adorable.”
I sigh. “Please, Mercedes, I beg of you, don’t tell anyone about this.”
“There’s no way in hell I’m telling anyone!” She flashes this smile that says our “just friends” thing could be changed anytime I want. “Let’s go eat.”
As we head for the cafeteria, my head spins. People see me as something completely opposite to what I am. I thought I was constantly on the verge of being outed as a total loser, when everyone thinks I’m the one judging them. No wonder Dallas hates me.
The whole cafeteria stares at us when we enter. The team waves me over. Garret looks on hopefully, probably knowing that whatever I do will cement his new social status.
Mercedes stands next to me. “Where are you sitting?”
It’s the first time I feel it—the power I never knew I had. I’m not sure I like that I’m in charge of this entire room, maybe the whole school. It doesn’t feel right that one person should have so much influence. Especially when that person is me.
My eyes meet Garret’s. I want to help him out, I honestly do. But then I see Keira holding his hand, pretending she did nothing wrong, like she wanted this to happen. I know differently. She would have played us both for as long as she could. She likes the secrets, the mystery, the rush—skating without a helmet.
And that I can’t forgive. I just hope I can find a way to explain it to him. For now, it’s safer for everyone to choose a neutral position.
“I’m sitting with you,” I say to Mercedes.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“What the hell, Russ?” Garret storms up to me in the locker room and gets in my face and everything. I haven’t seen him this genuinely mad in a long time, and I take a step back.
“What?” I pull off my shirt and grab my workout clothes.
“Excuse me?” He pu
ts his hand on the lockers. “Why did you sit with Mercedes? You said you—”
“Nothing’s going on with us. We’re just friends, like I’ve said a thousand times.” I pull a tank over my head and then look around. Some of the guys seem to be listening in, so I lower my voice. “It was the best option, all things considered.”
“You couldn’t sit with me? That wasn’t the best option?”
The guilt stings, but I push it down. I’m sure I did the right thing. “Have I ever sat with you when you had a girlfriend?”
He calms down while he thinks it over, and then he turns the dial on his locker like he wasn’t thinking of punching me a second ago. “No, but I thought…you’re friends with them, too. Izzy’s your sister, and you know Daphne and Colin better than I do.”
“I have a lot of friends, Garr.” It sounds horrible coming out of my mouth, but I don’t know what else to say. Even if I still want to sit with Garret, I refuse to be in close proximity to Keira. “If you can sit with your girlfriend, then I should be able to sit with whoever I want, too. Otherwise…”
He sighs. “Are you saying you didn’t want the guys to think you were dissing me?”
I nod. That was part of it, anyway. “If I sat with you, they’d think we were making some kind of statement. So I hung out with Mercedes.”
He grins as he pulls on his workout shirt. “You’re kind of an evil genius.”
I smile. Crisis averted. For now.
Too bad I have more than one crisis to deal with. As I’m doing bicep curls in weights, Dallas joins in. I already know what he’ll say, so I head him off. “Dude, she’s just a friend.”
“Doesn’t look like it.” He lets out a breath each time he pumps the weights.
“I wanted to sit with the girls today.” I put down the dumbbells and grab heavier ones for the next set. “I’m…checking out the prospects, you could say.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” I pump the weights, letting them down slowly. Dallas doesn’t seem as intimidating after what Mercedes told me. “Thought I might try out that whole having a girlfriend thing.”
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