“You know it,” Jillian said.
While Neil headed off to the diner, Jillian walked around the booth again, admiring it from all angles.
“Where’d you go?” Shelby asked when Jillian circled around to the front.
Jillian frowned. “What?”
“When you were lost in thought just now,” Shelby explained.
Jillian’s cheeks warmed. “Oh, I was just thinking about something I said to Jack when we were thirteen.”
“Jackson should do the kissing booth. I’ll bet every woman in Sapphire Falls would line up for a chance to kiss him, unless he’s a bad kisser.”
“The man has no problems on that front.”
“Does that mean you’re planning a repeat performance of last night?”
“I wasn’t planning on kissing him last night.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
“It’s the only answer you’re getting,” Jillian said. “Come on, let’s get going. I have some errands to run before tonight.”
Though Shelby let the subject drop, Jillian knew she hadn’t heard the last of it.
Chapter Eight
“Holy crap!”
Jillian started at the sound of Shelby’s voice as she came down the stairs. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. You look smokin’ hot.”
Jillian glanced down at the outfit; tight blue jeans, a blue and white checkered shirt tucked into her jeans and of course a pair of cowboy boots. It was the standard ensemble for this time of year, but that wasn’t why she’d put so much effort into her appearance.
“Jackson’s going to swallow his tongue,” Shelby said.
Good, that was what Jillian wanted. Well, actually, she wanted to swallow his tongue, preferably while they were tucked away in some corner of the haunted house.
Even before their impromptu kiss last night, and even before that kiss on her fifteenth birthday, she’d wanted to kiss Jack. It was something she’d spent the last ten years trying to ignore, but she’d made up her mind last night that she was done ignoring it.
What happened between them after his mom died wasn’t going to go away, but it also wasn’t going to break them. They were going to have a long talk and clear the air. Then they were going to do a lot more kissing with a lot less clothes on.
“I’m guessing that’s the plan,” Shelby said. “Get Jackson’s attention.”
Having spent the last ten years pretending she didn’t care about Jackson, Jillian’s first instinct was to say no. Now that she’d decided to do something about her feelings for him, it was time to come clean.
“Yes, it is.”
Shelby smiled. “Good, it’s about time you two pulled your heads out of your asses and realized you belong together.”
The doorbell rang, and a barking Mufasa darted toward the front door. Letting her sister answer the door, Jillian scooped up Mufasa to keep the little troublemaker from trying to make a break for it.
“Ladies, you’re looking lovely, as usual.” Garrett smiled as he tipped the cowboy hat he wore.
“Right back at ya,” Shelby said, and Jillian had to agree.
The man filled out the Wranglers he wore like they’d been fitted just for him.
Mufasa barked, and Garrett laughed. “Okay, you look good too, buddy.”
“Now that we’ve established that we are one fine looking bunch, we should probably get going,” Shelby said.
“Yeah, Mom and Dad are probably already there waiting for us to go on the hayride with them,” Jillian said and returned Mufasa to his feet.
When the house was locked up, the three of them piled into the pickup truck that Jillian recognized as belonging to Garrett’s dad.
As Shelby chattered away to Garrett, Jillian thought about what she would say to Jackson. Maybe instead of saying anything right away, she would just march right up to him, throw her arms around his neck and give him a nice, long kiss. Actions spoke louder than words and all.
Finding a place to park at the Bennett farm took longer than the drive itself. As usual, the whole town had turned out for the haunted hayride and their chance to outwit the maze made entirely of hay bales. Jillian was looking forward to walking the maze with Jackson. If they happened to take a wrong turn and get a little lost then she knew just what they could do.
“What do you want to do first?” Garrett asked.
“We should probably find Mom and Dad,” Shelby said.
Jillian hoped she would be able to find Jackson before too long. The closer they grew to the hub of activity, the thicker the crowd.
“There’s Jackson,” Shelby said, elbowing Jillian.
Jillian raked her gaze over his body. Thick thighs strained against the denim of his well worn jeans while the gold belt buckle drew her eyes to his most generous attribute. The long sleeved T-shirt pulled tight across his chest emphasized his biceps.
Damn, the man was sex on legs, and she wasn’t the only woman noticing. In the few short seconds she’d stood admiring him, quite a few women had passed by, shooting big smiles in his direction.
“Excuse me a second,” Jillian said, doing her best to tamp down her jealousy.
“No problem,” Shelby said, grinning. “I’ll just call Mom and Dad and see where they are.”
By then, Jackson had spotted her, and there was no mistaking the heat in his gaze as he tracked her approach. It looked like this was going to be easier than she thought.
Jillian offered him a sly smile as she drew closer. “Evening, Jack.”
“How’s it going?”
“Good, I thought maybe we could catch the next hayride together.”
“About last night.”
Jillian stepped closer to him, expecting him to pull her into his arms. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
The smile slipped from her lips. Jillian allowed herself only five seconds to process that information before she lifted her knee and brought it square against his groin.
A grimace contorted his face and he grunted as he dropped to the ground, but she didn’t feel the least bit sorry for his pain or the fact that she was the cause of it. Lord knows he’d been the root of all of her pain for the last ten years. Maybe it was time she accepted that he wasn’t the man she’d always thought he would be.
“I’m sorry too, Jack, but I’m not going to make that mistake again.”
With Jackson still on his knees, gasping for breath, she spun on her heel and stalked away from him.
Garrett stepped toward her. Beneath his smirk, there was concern in his eyes. “Are you all right?”
Not for the first time, she wondered why she couldn’t have felt the way about Garrett that she felt about Jackson. Garrett was such a wonderful man, strong and steady and dependable and so damn good-looking. As much as she wanted to want Garrett, she didn’t and it pissed her off.
Ten years of her life wasted while she’d waited for Jackson to come to his senses. Last night, she’d thought he had. Now she knew better, and as much as she wanted to let her anger and humiliation be what set her free to fall for someone like Garrett, it only reminded her of everything she’d lost.
“We can take off if you want,” Garrett offered.
“No, absolutely not.” Jillian took a deep breath. “I am not letting Jackson ruin our night. We’re going on a hayride, and then we’re going to have a go at that maze, and by God, we’re going to have a good time doing it.”
Garrett’s lips quirked upward. “We are, huh?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Guess I can’t really argue when you put it like that.”
Despite her determination to have a good time, she hesitated when he held his arm in her direction. It wasn’t fair to use Garrett to forget about Jackson.
Dropping his arm, he studied her face. “I always knew. Even before you said you couldn’t marry me, I knew why.”
Jillian’s eyes widened and her mouth opened, but nothing came
out.
“I knew it wasn’t me you wanted,” Garrett said. “I knew it was Jackson, and even though he acted like he didn’t see you, I knew he wanted you too.”
Jillian blanched. “No, he didn’t.”
“Yes, he did. He wanted you then, and he wants you now.”
“The bastard has a funny way of showing it.”
Garrett chuckled. “Maybe the problem is that he doesn’t know how to show it.”
“I can’t keep doing this, Garrett. I can’t keep closing myself off to something great with someone else, hoping Jackson will get his act together.”
“You shouldn’t have to, but maybe you shouldn’t give up on him yet.”
“What?”
“Don’t give up on him yet,” Garrett repeated, smiling at her incredulous stare. “I don’t know Jackson Wilder, but I do know that whatever his reason for not wanting to get involved with you, it’s more complicated than him being a stuck-up jock. Something tells me if you give up now, you’ll be sorry for the rest of your life.”
Tears filmed her eyes. “I don’t deserve to have you in my life, Garrett.”
“Yes, you do, just like Jackson deserves to be in your life, and I’d bet my parents’ ranch that he doesn’t believe that.”
Rolling her eyes, she gave him a wobbly smile. “God, are you going for sainthood or something?”
“Something like that,” he said. “Now, are you ready to go on a hayride and have a go at that maze and by God have a good time doing it?”
Jillian finally laughed. “Can I hug you first?”
“You know you don’t even have to ask,” Garrett said and opened his arms.
“Thank you, Garrett,” Jillian whispered. “You’re a good man and a good friend.”
Rather than answer, he held her tighter. As she soaked in his strength and goodness, she wondered if he was right. Was there still hope for her and Jackson, or was it time to let go of the fantasy of Jackson Wilder once and for all?
“All right, boy, on your feet.”
Jackson grunted in response to his grandpa’s order, one that was easier said than done considering he wasn’t convinced he could move yet.
Wrapping an arm around his bicep, Walt dragged him to his feet. “Come on, I’ll drive you home as soon as you get your feet under you.”
“I can drive myself.”
“Not after three beers in the last hour you can’t.”
Jackson grimaced as he shook free of the hold. He should have known Gramps would be watching him like a hawk.
Gramps wasn’t the only one watching him. There was quite an audience on hand to witness him being dropped by Jillian. Some of the guys were snickering but most were shooting him sympathetic looks while the women looked on him with pity.
“You ready to go?” Walt asked.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
Somehow, Jackson managed to say polite hellos to everyone who greeted them as they headed for his grandpa’s truck. Mostly because he knew Gramps would kick his ass if he didn’t.
“I think it’s time you and I talked,” Walt said.
Of course Gramps thought they should talk now. Now when Jackson was trapped in a moving truck with him and had no choice but to listen. Not unless he wanted to take a chance on jumping out at the next stoplight.
“How’re the boys?” Walt asked.
“What?”
“The boys, the jewels, the nads, how are they?”
Jackson understood the question, but it wasn’t what he’d been expecting his grandpa to say. “They’ll be all right.”
“That Jilly’s got one hell of a temper. Of course, I’m sure you deserved it,” Walt said, and Jackson narrowed his eyes. “Don’t give me that look.”
“You’re supposed to be paying attention to the road, not worrying about how I’m looking at you.”
“And you’re supposed to be the man I raised you to be, not someone who’s as disrespectful as he is cowardly.”
Jackson bristled. “What makes you think I’m a coward?”
“You and I both know you and Jilly belong together, and instead of manning up and claiming what’s yours, you tucked tail and ran.”
“Just because we were friends when we were kids doesn’t mean we belong together.”
“Friends?” Walt snorted. “I guess you think I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“Forgot about the day you told me you loved her.”
For the second time that night, Jackson felt a kick to his nuts.
‘Gramps, I need to talk to you about something serious.’
‘You know you can talk to me about anything.’
Jackson did know that. It was the reason he was going to ask for his grandpa’s advice and not his mom or dad’s.
‘I need to get something for Jill’s birthday, but I don’t know what.’
Walt smiled. ‘Well, maybe you ought to ask her for some ideas.’
‘I can’t do that.’
‘How come?’
‘I want to get her something special, something that will make her understand how I feel about her.’
‘And how do you feel about her?’
‘I love her, Gramps. I want to marry her,’ Jackson answered and then hurried to add, ‘I know you probably think it’s too soon since we’re only fifteen, but I know I love her.’
‘I don’t think any such thing,’ Walt assured him as a fond smile crossed his lips. ‘I met your grandma when we were just eleven years old, and I knew the first time I saw that woman that she was gonna be my wife.’
Jackson nodded. He’d always known Jill was going to be his wife. Maybe that was how it worked for the Wilder men. They knew the one as soon as they spotted her. “You remember, don’t you?” Walt said.
“That was a long time ago, just the stupid dream of some naïve kid.”
“Loving someone isn’t stupid.”
“It is if it ruins your life,” Jackson muttered.
“What was that?” Walt asked.
“Pull over and let me out, would you? I think I’ll walk from here.”
Walt didn’t argue, just steered the truck to the side of the road and waited for Jackson to get out.
“You be careful now,” Walt said.
“I will, Gramps.”
“Good, and maybe while you’re out here, you can figure out how to cowboy up before someone else steps up and takes what’s yours.”
Jackson scowled as his grandpa drove off. Leave it to Gramps to make sure he got the last word.
The old man thought he was so smart, but he was wrong. Jackson was the smart one. Love didn’t do anything but weaken your heart and drain your soul. It sucked you dry until there wasn’t anything left when you lost it.
He’d seen it firsthand when his dad lost his mom.
Jackson was tired. Football practice had been tough, but it was just what he needed to take his mind off his mom. It was good to have people focusing on him for something besides his mom being gone.
When he pushed open the front door to the house, the sound of glass breaking assaulted his ears.
“God damn it, Sunny! Why?”
Jackson’s heart clenched. Sunny was what his dad used to call his mom. Her name was Sonia, but to his dad she’d always been Sunny. Dad always said it fit because she was the light of his life.
Another pained shout followed by something hitting the wall had Jackson running into the living room. He drew up short at the destruction. Picture frames and knick-knacks had been hurled around the room, some obviously having hit the wall based on the holes and scuff marks.
An empty bottle of whiskey dangled from his dad’s fingers. Lately, all his dad did was drink.
‘Dad, what the hell are you doing?’
Vince spun to face him, the move awkward no doubt on account of all the alcohol in his system ‘Don’t talk to me like that. I’m your father.’
The words were slurred, and Jackson sneered.
‘You’re a sorry excuse for a
father.’
‘What the hell did you say to me?’
‘You heard me!’
‘Get the hell outta here before I beat your ungrateful ass.’
Jackson snorted. ‘I’d like to see you try as drunk as you are.’
The whiskey bottle was suddenly lobbed in his direction, but Jackson saw it coming in plenty of time to dodge it.
‘You’re a good for nothing piece of shit!’ Jackson shouted. ‘All you ever do is drink! I hate you!’
Vince deflated, his shoulders shaking as sobs wracked his body. ‘I hate me too, kiddo. The best of me died with your mother. I don’t know who I am without her.’
‘Maybe you should figure it out,’ Jackson snapped.
As his father sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands, Jackson’s heart hardened. If this was what love did to you then he wasn’t going to have any part of it.
A heavy honk startled Jackson from his dark thoughts. Jackson looked up and immediately recognized the Corvette of Ellie Watts. The girl came from money, and she had no problem making sure everyone knew. Case in point, the fancy sports car she drove. Most people in Sapphire Falls stuck to practical vehicles while Ellie went for the flash.
Jackson had gone out with Ellie once, and it was the worst date in the history of dates. She’d spent the entire night talking about herself, which included the fact that she and Jackson should go to the prom together. ‘It makes sense. Everyone knows I’m going to win prom queen, and you’ll probably get king. The king should go to the prom with his queen.’
Jackson had gone to the prom but not with Ellie. He’d gone with Joanna Shepherd, a sweet girl who’d long since left Sapphire Falls.
Ellie had been right. They’d won the titles of king and queen, and when they’d danced together as such, Ellie had given him a smug smile and said, ‘I told you we’d win and you should have come with me.’
“Hop in. I’ll give you a ride,” Ellie offered.
Jackson forced a smile. “Thanks, but I don’t mind walking.”
The smile she directed back at him was downright wicked. “I wasn’t talking about giving you a ride home, Jackson.”
Sapphire Falls: Going for Wilder (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 8
