by Sarah Gai
“I knew I loved you the first day I came into your campsite—you stole my heart and soul, Autumn.”
The air was thick between them as their eyes met once more. Eric leaned over and kissed her tenderly, his lips lingering as if he never wanted the night to end.
Autumn was the one to break the contact as she opened the passenger door. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” she smiled, causing his heart to skip a beat.
“Tomorrow,” he smiled wide.
Autumn
Autumn said goodnight to Eric, though she did not want the night’s moments to end; with sheer resolve, she dragged herself away from his truck and ran around the back of the B&B into the house.
Autumn was floating, her mind up in the clouds, as she recalled the last few hours. She expected to pour her heart out to the boy she missed and longed for. What she didn’t expect was the man he is now would admit his own feelings as well. She wondered if it was all a dream since everything happened so quickly. Shouldn’t they have taken it slow before declaring their feelings about each other?
She didn’t care what was “supposed to be;” there were no rules and no time limits when it came to love. Wasn’t it love that made the world go round?
It was at that point that she wondered how anybody got anything done in life as her heart could barely stay in one piece thinking about Eric. The ache in her chest was almost too much to bear, as if her small frame could not contain everything she held for him. How could your heart feel like shattering into a million pieces even when it was so full?
Autumn practically skipped into the kitchen, her mind in a far off place. Nothing could break her happiness or pull her down from the high she was riding on.
It only took one look at Ava, sitting at the kitchen table, to wipe the giddy smile right off of Autumn’s face.
Ava looked up at Autumn; her smudged mascara and dark circles around her tired eyes made her look a lot older than forty-five. Autumn knew something was really wrong.
She dropped her satchel in the kitchen doorway and rushed toward Ava. Crouching down in front of her, she took Ava’s small hands in her own. “Ava, what’s wrong? Is it Sharon?” she asked. Panic replaced the feelings she felt just moments before.
Ava covered her face with one hand and cried a gut-wrenching torrent. She could barely breathe and Autumn had no idea what to do.
“Ava, tell me what’s wrong, please. You’re scaring me.” Autumn never saw her like this so she knew something terrible must have happened.
Ava wiped her eyes, pulling her remaining hand from Autumn’s grip. “I’m a terrible person sweetie. Something horrible happened today and I don’t want to tell you, but I have to. But that’s not all. What I tell you afterwards will make you hate me more,” she sniffled, barely containing control as she fidgeted with her hands in her lap.
“It can’t be that bad” Autumn shook her head. It was Ava; she was not capable of ever doing a horrible thing to anyone. Surely, she was overreacting.
“No, I have. Please Autumn, promise me no matter what I tell you, you will remember I have always loved you and I did what I thought was best, okay? Please, you have to promise me,” she begged, reaching out to take Autumn’s hands in her own again.
Autumn started to panic and a lump formed in her throat. She thought she was ready to hear what Ava had to say, but nothing could prepare her for what slipped from Ava’s lips.
“Your father died this morning.”
Autumn slumped to the floor. She knew this day was coming. Truthfully, she wondered if she would have ever been contacted when it finally happened. No one knew where she was except her former employer, Mr. Smith. Maybe he called the house while she was at work or with Eric.
Autumn didn’t think it would hurt so much to hear of Liam Nash’s passing. There were too many times to count over the years when she wished her father was dead, for the evil man to vanish and no longer hover over her very existence. But now that he was dead, Autumn just felt somber. They had parted with hate in their hearts; that’s not how anyone should go.
“How did you find out?” Autumn stood up and sat next to Ava.
“I was his emergency contact.”
Autumn gasped and Ava flinched. “What? No, that’s ridiculous. You hated each other.” Autumn was dumbfounded; there was no way what she heard had any truth to it.
Unable to look at Autumn, Ava turned her face away and continued. “No, I am. After you came back to Ligonier to live with us, I was so happy. Finally, we were back together, all of us—the way it should have always been. But your father, even as sick as he was, couldn’t just let us be,” she growled. Autumn sat in silence as she waited for Ava to continue her story.
“He called me, not even two days after you arrived, and demanded you come home. Hah! Stupid fool he was thinking I would send you home to him, like every other year I had to let you go. Not this time though, I refused. I hung up on him and planned to tell you everything. Liam though always used you against us.”
Ava began to mumble as Autumn tried to wrap her head around what she was hearing. Used what against them? He didn’t even like Ava!
“Ava, you’re not making any sense. Stop mumbling and speak to me, damn it!” Autumn shouted, scaring herself in turn.
Ava sat up straight and turned to look Autumn in the eye. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This is hard for me,” she whimpered. “So after I hung up on your father, he called me back, told me he needed you to look after him because he was sick, which I already knew because you told us. I made a deal with him that I would hire a homecare nurse to look after him around the clock and send him a little extra money to cover rent and amenities if he would allow you to stay here with us. The stupid fool laughed, but accepted. I thought that was the end of it until he told me he still owed a lot of money to the guys he tried to bargain with the day you ran from him.“
Autumn remembered that day as if it was yesterday, a shiver running up her spine at the memory.
“He owed close to sixty thousand dollars. He said he was going to send the collectors to our front door to retrieve either the cash or you. I was terrified, so I paid it. I was going to tell you everything, I always wanted to, but while your father was still breathing on this earth I just couldn’t. You have to understand we could never be free of him while he was on this earth, Autumn.”
Autumn’s stomach clenched; her spirit felt as if the part of the story she just heard was just the tip of the iceberg. She was scared and overwhelmed. Sixty thousand dollars! She remembered the two henchmen saying two thousand was just scratching the surface.
Autumn wanted to throw up. If they took her that day, she would be working off that kind of money for the rest of her life and who knew what else Archer would have made her do. She shivered again just thinking of the possibilities. Clearing her throat, she glanced back at Ava, wanting to hear the rest of the truth.
“Finish Ava. Tell me the rest; I know your story is far from over. I sense it. Words cannot express how thankful I am to you for caring about me so much and I’m deeply sorry my father blackmailed you, truly. What stumps me though is there has always been something that never made sense about this town and I think you know. I pray to God you don’t, but if you know you need to tell me. Why did my father return here every summer like clockwork?”
Ava nodded her head, fresh tears streaking her cheeks. “I also never understood how you know so much about my mother, yet you never reveal more than a sliver to me. Was that because of my father, too?”. Ava responded affirmatively.
Autumn could not do this much longer knowing the bombshell about to be unleashed. A sudden explosion of anger emerged on the tip of her tongue. “Tell me! I deserve to know!” Autumn stood from her chair.
Ava finally screamed, “Sharon is your mother!”
Autumn
Autumn’s lungs deflated, her chest felt as if it was being pierced over and over again with an ice pick. She could not breathe; the pain was too much.
A
utumn believed every word of Ava’s last admission. She considered more than once that she and Sharon had minor similarities. Of course, there were times when Autumn wished Ava was her mother.
She started gasping and clutching at her throat, still unable to breathe. The walls around her were closing in; she fought for air, in and out, but she could not slow her breathing down and began hyperventilating.
Ava rushed towards her, “Breathe sweetheart, it’s okay, you’re panicking. Just breathe.”
Autumn stepped back and out of reach. Falling to her knees, she lowered her head on the floor fighting for air. Ava tried to help her again, but Autumn shot back at her. “Get…away…from…me,” Autumn forced out.
Ava treaded backward, her face whipping to the side as if she had been physically slapped; the hurt from her admission cut her just as deep as it did Autumn. She grasped the agony her niece was grappling with and sat back down at the kitchen table waiting for Autumn to calm down.
Autumn managed to slow her breathing enough to stand back up and leave the kitchen after a while. She could not be there anymore; she needed time to process Ava’s confessions—Sharon was her mother and Ava was really her aunt.
She walked out of the kitchen. For months, she had been living under the same roof as her own family—her blood! The betrayal she felt at being left in the dark was crushing. And yet she knew there was so much still left unsaid, to still find out.
Autumn ran up the stairs and into her room. She began to pack a suitcase, pulling things from the closet and flinging everything onto the bed. She didn’t know where she was going for the night, but staying there was not an option.
“Please Autumn, you have to hear me out. Please!” Ava ran after her, following her into the room.
Suddenly Autumn needed to know, “Why Ava? How could you not have told me before now? All these years I thought my mother ran off, or worse—died. But here she was…in the same house!” her voice bellowed. Suddenly, they both fell silent, listening for the sound of Sharon stirring in the next room.
When nothing was heard, Ava released a sigh. “I want to tell you from the beginning how all this started.” Ava held her hands out, palms up begging Autumn to hold still and listen.
Autumn stopped what she was doing, turning from the suitcase on her bed; she crossed her arms as she glared back at Ava. “Please, by all means, continue because this is absurd. I can’t for the life of me think how your story can make anything better.”
“Maybe not, but it will clarify a bit for you.”
“I’m listening.”
Ava prepared herself for the story ahead though this wasn’t the way she envisioned telling her niece the truth.
“Your father, when he was younger, was passing through Ithaca, which was where we Sharon and I were from. Gosh, it seems like another life when I look back on it. Did he ever take you there?”
Autumn nodded. Her father had taken her there twice during apple picking season, but he never said a word. Not that Autumn would have expected it.
“Anyway, your mama and I grew up there. Your grandparents were still alive at that time and we were so happy,” Ava smiled as she remembered times gone by. “Then your father showed up. The day he walked into town Sharon took one look at him and was head-over-heels for him. Oh Autumn, if you saw your father back then…he was sweet and charming. Your mama thought the sun shined just for him,” Ava chuckled, the thought now ridiculous, but back then, even Ava had been fooled by his false persona.
“Well, they fell in love and as the picking season came to an end, there was no doubt in Sharon’s mind—they were meant to be together. Within a month, they were married. Your grandmother, Eleanor, was heartbroken. She knew something wasn’t right, but we all assured her she was just going to miss her daughter though we had to remind her that her little girl was eighteen. Our mother’s parting gift to your mama was that pearl necklace I gave you at Christmas and the watch I had given you earlier was a wedding gift.”
Autumn’s hand flew to the pearl around her neck, while her eyes stared down at the watch she rarely took off. They had been family heirlooms, yet she never knew.
Ava’s voice changed as she continued, “He fooled us all Autumn. A real wolf in sheep’s clothing if I ever saw one.” Ava paused and looked up to gauge Autumn’s reaction, but she just nodded her head once, a signal to continue.
Ava walked towards the bed and sat down, patting the spot next to her, a gesture for her niece to take a seat. Autumn didn’t budge, but rather crossed her arms tighter, as if that alone would protect her from what was to come.
Ava continued, “We barely heard from Sharon after that—a call here and there, months in between each and then scarcer as time went on. It was almost a year at one point when she finally called. It was a blessing really, as your grandmother was ill with breast cancer. She only had a few weeks left, but trying to get hold of your mother was impossible. Sharon and Liam came home just in time to say goodbye. She had changed though; although she tried to look happy, well…she was beaten down.”
Autumn knew that feeling all too well, surviving her entire life with her father. She knew just by Ava’s words that her mother was probably hiding the bodily bruises and beatings she endured back then. Autumn’s heart broke just thinking about dear sweet Sharon going through that.
“The day of the funeral, your parents stayed briefly and said their goodbyes before that very same day getting back on the road. I knew your mama wanted to stay, but Liam said they needed to get back to work. The charming man I remembered was gone, replaced with a piercing coldness that chilled me to the bone. I begged her to stay, but in the end she hopped in the truck and left town. Six moths later your grandfather Carl passed away one night in his sleep; I swear it was from a broken heart. I didn’t know what to do. Your parents never had a permanent address. I had no idea where they were so…I buried my father and waited. I waited for her to finally call me. It was over three and a half years later before that night the call finally came. I was so mad. I wanted to tell her how cruel she was for missing our father’s funeral, for scaring me half to death from not hearing from her. Yet, I didn’t say any of that. The moment I heard your mother’s voice, I knew something was terribly wrong.”
Autumn needed to sit down; the overload of information was draining her. Hearing stories of the past, stories she waited her whole life for, felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. She crossed her legs and sat down on the polished wood floor facing Ava.
“Sharon was crying so hard I could barely make out what she was saying, but the fear in her voice as she begged for my help was one of the scariest moments of my life. That’s when I found out about you. She told me she had a little girl and you both needed to get away. I was so shocked—I was an aunt and had no idea. She wanted to come home and needed money for the bus fare. I wired it through the next day and waited. Oh Autumn, when your mama stepped off that bus in Ithaca with you on her hip I just exploded with love. You were the prettiest little thing I had ever seen. I imagined watching you grow, all the things we would do as a family together. The night you two arrived Sharon told me everything—the drinking, the gambling, the abuse. The bright, confident girl I had grown up with was gone. Yet even back then, we had hope for the future, for the two of you. It wasn’t even four days later when your father showed up and our worlds changed. He caught your mama hanging the wash out behind our house while you and I were at the store getting groceries for dinner that night. He had been drinking and forced your mama into the car. I don’t know why, but I had a feeling they were just going to leave. To this day I don’t know if they were coming for you in town or if he was forcing her to leave town. I guess it will always be a mystery. He was smart though; he got her to drive. I don’t exactly know what happened in those moments, I can only guess. It was only a light rain, but it was enough to make the roads slippery. Your mama drove right off the road and into a tree. She was rushed to the hospital with internal injuries and severe head trauma. Yo
ur father, hah, he walked away with a few scratches. They say the alcohol in his system could have saved his life, something about not tensing up from being inebriated. Ridiculous. There was no inquiry into the accident and two days later you were gone. I called the police when he came to take you away, but there was nothing I could do. Your mama woke up two months later with no recollection of who she was or anything about her life. The brain injury was severe; she had to learn to walk and eat again. I sold our parent’s house they left us and found this little B&B for sale, figuring I could look after Sharon and bring in an income as well.”
“How did my father find you again? I mean, it can’t be chance that we came through this town.”
“Actually, that’s exactly what happened. I saw your father walking through town one day and followed him. I just couldn’t believe it. But knowing his nomadic ways, there was a part of me that wasn’t surprised. I think God steered him this way, even if your father was unaware. I begged him to let me see you. At first, he wouldn’t allow it, even hitting me in the face. But then the bastard came to an arrangement. He would bring you back here every year for the summer if I paid him.”
That made sense to Autumn. It actually explained how her father managed to drink and gamble even when the work money was gone.
“There was one condition though. If I ever told you about us being related or about your mother, we would never see you again. Not just never coming back—he would kill you. The look in his eyes, I didn’t doubt it for a minute.” Autumn didn’t either as there were times he almost did kill her. “So that’s it. I agreed and your summer returns began,” Ava gave her a saddened, nervous smile.
“Did he ever come here to see my mother?” Autumn felt weird asking.
