by T. K. Leigh
“Twenty-nine-plus-nine,” I corrected.
“Yes. Twenty-nine-plus-nine,” he said with a smile before his expression turned serious once more. “And not one of them has left the same imprint on me that you have. I’m not just saying that to get into your pants again.” He paused, his eyes becoming hooded. “Although I’d really, really like to get into your pants again.”
I laughed, my heart brimming at his ability to make jokes during a serious conversation, as if he knew I needed it. It was as if he always knew exactly what I needed.
“I’d really, really like that, too.”
A smile tugged at his mouth. “Molly, what I’m trying to say is…” He took a deep breath, wetting his lips again. “I want to be able to call you my girlfriend and have a smug look on my face when all my friends find out you can write one hell of a sex scene and use me as a very willing guinea pig.”
I pouted playfully. “Are you just using me for my mommy porn?”
“No. Never.” He grinned. “Maybe just a little.”
Arching my body into his, I forced his head toward me. “You can use me any time you’d like,” I murmured flirtatiously.
Groaning, his mouth moved against mine once more. All my worries momentarily left me. I’d often rolled my eyes in romance novels, including my own, when the heroine claimed all her fears were miraculously erased after the hero touched or kissed her, but I understood it now. It wasn’t that I had no more concerns or trepidations. It was the knowledge I wasn’t alone in my fear, that we were in this together.
“So… Dinner?” He raised a brow, looking down at me.
I gestured to my jeans and ratty t-shirt, not to mention the hair I’d haphazardly knotted in a bun on top of my head. “I’m not exactly dressed for it.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Winking, he grabbed my hand and tugged me with him. “I know the perfect place.”
My stomach fluttered when he glanced at me with more adoration than anyone ever had. I couldn’t remember anyone ever looking upon me with such devotion.
“So… You never answered my question,” I said, breaking through the silence as he led me toward Hanover Street and the North End. “How did you know where I was?”
He grinned. “Your brother.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, pulling my hand from his. “Drew? But won’t he think something’s going on between us?”
Noah held my arms, a satisfied expression on his face. “I want him to think something’s going on between us. I said I wanted to be with you, Molly, and not just behind closed doors. I want to go out in public with you. I want to hold your hand everywhere we go. I want everyone to know how incredible you are. I’m not going to hide you away like some secret I don’t want anyone to find out about.”
I tugged my lip between my teeth. “But what if you get in trouble? Isn’t it frowned upon for a doctor to form an intimate relationship with someone involved in the decision-making process for one of his patients?”
He cocked his head.
“Google.” I shrugged.
A peaceful look crossed his face. “It is, which is why I am no longer your father’s neurologist. Since it’s a bit of a gray area, I sought an opinion from the medical board. As long as I shield myself from anything to do with your father’s care, it wouldn’t be unethical for me to be involved with you, considering he’s now a former patient.”
“But when we kissed the first time, you were my father’s doctor. What if someone finds out?”
“I’ll deal with it if and when the time comes. Right now, I just want to be with you. There’s no telling what the future holds. I’m not going to worry myself with a bunch of what ifs. Not right now. I just want to hold your hand as we walk through the city streets, then have dinner with you. I don’t care who sees us. In fact, I want everyone to see us,” he declared with such joy, such fervor, such zeal. No one had ever fought so hard for me before and it chipped at another piece of the wall I’d erected around my heart. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I said in a small voice, blindly allowing him to lead me down a few side streets I knew like the back of my hand.
In a daze, I didn’t notice when he turned down my street until the familiar scent of my family’s café found its way to my nostrils. I gave Noah a smile, grateful he knew my perfect idea of dinner was an appetizer of takeout with him as my main course.
I dug through my bag, searching for my keys.
“We’re not going to your place.” He grabbed my keys, tossing them back into my bag. Clutching my hand in his, he continued past my front stoop, dragging me up the steps of Drew’s apartment building.
My eyes widened. “What are we doing here?”
“Don’t you do family dinner every Sunday?”
“Yes, but—”
“I know how important family is to you. I won’t come between that.”
“You think this is a good idea? I mean…” I avoided his eyes, not knowing how Drew would react to this rather drastic change of events. I knew I’d have some serious explaining to do, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for that just yet.
“I do. Your brother did, too. He’s the one who invited me, although he did warn me if I ever do anything to hurt you, he’ll make sure I pay for it dearly.”
“That sounds like Drew,” I mumbled, nausea filling my stomach, my mouth suddenly dry.
“It’s okay,” Noah encouraged. “It’ll all be okay.” I had no idea why he was reassuring me when this was my family. You’d think it would have been the other way around. Wasn’t he supposed to be the nervous one? “This is all part of being in a relationship. But if you’re not ready, we can do something else.”
I sighed. “Then I’ll never hear the end of it from Drew and Brooklyn. Drew would just hunt me down and haul my ass over here anyway.” I faced the door and placed my hand on the knob. “I just need to warn you. My family can be a bit…loud.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else.”
“At least I know Drew has plenty of wine.”
Noah chuckled as I opened the door, the sound of boisterous voices filling the stairwell. As we headed up the stairs, I could hear my uncle Leo telling another one of his fishing stories. I wanted to turn around and run, the prospect of introducing Noah to my family as my boyfriend making my stomach roll. I didn’t see how this could possibly go well. Worse, I knew Drew and Brooklyn would put two and two together and figure out there was no coworker. They’d realize it was Noah all along. I feared one of them would slip and Noah would find out I only wanted to spend time with him in the beginning to use him as inspiration.
For the first time I could remember, I actually wanted to be with him. I’d never felt a pang in my chest at the prospect of any of the men I dated walking out on me. With Noah, it wasn’t just a pang. It was a full-on gripping ache.
Drawing in a breath, I pushed open the door to Drew’s apartment. Silence fell over the living room as we stood in the doorway. I felt like I’d just shown up to a party naked. I glanced down to reassure myself that wasn’t the case.
“Molly Mae!” my uncle Leo bellowed, breaking the stiff silence. “Get in here, peanut! You’re letting in a draft.”
Gritting a smile, I pulled Noah into the modest living area of my brother’s apartment, shutting the door behind us. Only my uncle Leo would complain about letting in a draft in June. Careful to avoid any of the girls’ toys strewn about, I led Noah toward the peninsula where everyone was congregated, laughing over appetizers of calamari and mushroom canapés.
“Don’t be rude, Molly,” Gigi said. A smug, yet satisfied expression broke out on her face. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”
“Like he even needs an introduction. I’m pretty sure you all know him already.” I looked at all the familiar faces. For years, it had been a tradition to get together at Drew’s every Sunday with a sliver of my huge family, which consisted of me, Drew, the girls, Aunt Gigi, Uncle Leo, and Brooklyn. She wasn’t related by blood, but she
was part of our tribe.
“Good to see you, Dr. McAllister,” Drew said, breaking the tension, holding out his hand to Noah, who took it, giving my brother a smile.
“It’s Noah. Please, just call me Noah.”
“I’m sure you remember Aunt Gigi and Uncle Leo.” I gestured to a short, balding man with glasses, then the petite sixty-five-year-old graying brunette at his side.
“Of course. Pleasure to see you both again,” Noah replied with a smile.
“Oh, the pleasure is all ours.” Aunt Gigi winked.
“And this is Brooklyn.” I nodded at my best friend, who looked like she had a thousand questions she was bursting to ask. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.
“Nice to meet you,” Noah said cordially.
Brooklyn simply studied him, her lips pinched. I’d expected Drew to be the one concerned with this arrangement. I didn’t anticipate Brooklyn to have reservations.
“If you’ll excuse us for a minute.” She offered a tight smile, then gripped my arm, tugging me away.
I glanced over my shoulder as she led me from the kitchen and toward the hallway. “I’ll be right back.”
Noah gave me an understanding look. Relief washed over me when Drew slung his arm over his shoulder and led him toward the wet bar, asking what he’d like to drink.
Brooklyn pushed me into Drew’s bedroom, then practically slammed the door. She whirled around. “What the hell is going on, Molly?”
“It’s kind of a long story, Brook. One I’d rather not get into tonight.”
She crossed her arms, standing in front of the door to prevent me from leaving. “I’ll take the bullet points. How did you go from pursuing a coworker at the magazine, to going on a date last night with some guy you met online, to now dating your father’s doctor?” She narrowed her eyes. “Is this because the guy at work rejected you? So what? You find someone else who’s off limits to use as a muse?”
“Shh!” I pulled her away from the door and toward Drew’s bed. “It’s not like that.”
“Then tell me exactly what it’s like. From where I’m standing, it looks like you’re willing to let that poor guy jeopardize his career just for a stupid book. I’ve stayed quiet for years, but I’m done, so you’d better have a damn good explanation for what the hell is going on.”
Dropping onto the bed, I hugged one of Drew’s pillows to me, trying to collect my thoughts. “There never was a coworker.” I peeked over the pillow.
Silence rang in the room.
“That day at the Common, when I was trying to overcome my writer’s block, it was Noah who saved me from being mauled by a bunch of savage miscreants.”
“Or ducks.” She sat on the edge of the mattress.
“Details.” I shot her a smile, a dreamy look crossing my face. “We hung out for hours just talking about whatever popped into our heads. After I left, I couldn’t wait to get home to write. I’d never felt so inspired before, and that’s when my book took on a completely different feel.” I sighed. “Maybe my reasons for spending time with him were selfish at first. So many times when I’m writing, I get distracted by everything else. After spending time with Noah, I didn’t give in to those distractions. I couldn’t stop the story that bled from me.”
“It was a damn good book, one you never should have tossed out,” Brooklyn admitted. “So when you said you kissed your coworker and he pushed you away…” She raised her brow.
“It was Noah.” I shook my head. “After my dad grew violent with me that time, Noah wanted to make sure I hadn’t suffered a concussion or anything from falling and hitting my head. He took me to one of the exam rooms.” A tingle spread through my limbs as I recalled our first kiss, the adrenaline of it being wrong, the fullness in my heart making me feel more satisfied than I ever had.
“So he took advantage of your injured state?” she hissed, her expression cold, her lips pinched. “Real stand-up guy.”
“He didn’t take advantage of anything, Brook. I was the one who kissed him. I initiated it. Sure, he kissed me back, and it was fucking amazing, but he came to his senses and stormed out of the room. I confronted him the following day after I found out he had my father’s care transferred to a different neurologist. I didn’t see him again…until I went out with Paul last night. By the way, did you know that Soul Mate is a Mormon dating website?”
Her eyes widened in surprise as she studied me, then burst out laughing. “You went out with someone from there?”
“I had no idea. He didn’t come off as all holier-than-thou when we messaged each other. But when the waitress came to take our orders, he said we didn’t drink. I knew something was up, so I hid away in the bathroom to find out where I’d met him. Brook, he asked me to say the blessing before we ate.”
Brooklyn giggled. “I would have paid to see this. I’m pretty sure a church would erupt in flames if you ever stepped through the doors.”
“Well, the date definitely went up in flames.”
“How does Noah figure in to all this?” She leaned closer, engaged in the story. Her fury from earlier had begun to wane, and it was comforting to see the version of my friend I was used to.
“He was at the same restaurant with this gorgeous blonde, who also happened to be a doctor and knew my date. As they were leaving, they stopped by our table.”
“What did you do?” she asked, her attention rapt.
“I was surrounded by all these wicked smart doctors, so I did what I always do when I feel uncomfortable.” I shrugged.
“Oh, my god. You made a tasteless joke,” Brooklyn said, horror on her face. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
“The blonde was a gynecologist, so I asked if she ever got tired of looking at vaginas. Honestly, I was curious. I don’t know if I could deal with looking at beavers all day.”
She burst out laughing, shaking her head. “Only you.”
“I didn’t know what else to say. Noah stood less than a foot from me with this tall, strikingly beautiful doctor. I couldn’t compete with that.”
Brooklyn’s jovial expression fell as she placed her hand over mine. “You’re a beautiful, smart woman, too, Molly. Who cares if you didn’t go to med school?”
I smiled, offering her a silent thanks.
“So what happened next?” she inquired after a long pause.
“Like I said, the date was a flop, although he wanted me to go to church with him this morning.” I cringed. “I debated on giving him Aunt Gigi’s number to see if she’d be interested in converting to Mormonism.”
Playfully hitting me, she chuckled. “Stop it.”
“When I got back home and started up my steps, I heard a voice call my name.”
“Aww,” Brooklyn cooed, resting a hand over her heart as she fell onto Drew’s bed. She rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow. It reminded me of all the nights we spent sleeping over at one another’s houses in middle school, gossiping about boys. “How romantic.”
“He told me how he couldn’t stop thinking about me. That he was sorry for ignoring me the past few weeks, but he was just scared. Then I invited him upstairs.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Answer me this. After he apologized and probably poured his heart out to you, although you’re conveniently leaving those details out of this retelling, what was your intention?”
“What do you mean? What intention?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Did you only invite him upstairs because he inspired you to write? Do you plan to just toss him out when that’s no longer the case?”
“No!” I exclaimed, then drew in a long breath. “I mean, when I invited him upstairs, it might have been.”
“You understand this man is potentially risking his career just to be with you, correct?” Her tone was direct, harsh, abrasive, at odds with the light and carefree Brooklyn I was used to.
“I understand that! But something changed. I actually felt something when I was with him.”
“No, Brook. Something. It was beautiful and wonderful and everything I imagined it would be. So naturally, in the light of day, I realized last night was a monumental mistake.”
“Oh, jeez,” Brooklyn muttered, rolling her eyes. “So what did you do? The walk of shame from your own house?”
“Thankfully, I didn’t have to, although I had planned my escape. When I finally summoned the courage to roll over in my bed, it was empty. He got called into work. I spent all day figuring out how to avoid seeing him again.”
“Well, from the looks of things, you did a great job.”
I laughed. “He went to my place looking for me when I didn’t go visit Dad today.”
“You didn’t go see your dad?” Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
Biting my lip, I slowly shook my head. “I’ve never allowed a man to come between me and my friends or family before. I had no desire to see Noah, so I ditched my father to avoid running into him. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I knew last night was a bad idea. At least I thought it was…until I talked to Aunt Gigi this morning.”
“Wait a minute.” Brooklyn shot off the bed. “You talked to your aunt about hot doctor sex and not me?!”
“You were working!” I argued in my defense, pulling her back onto the bed. “And she didn’t know it was hot doctor sex. I mean, I don’t think I mentioned sex. Maybe I did. I don’t know. Anyway, she told me about my mom and dad. She said a lot of things that made sense…” I looked away. “Too much sense. Now I wonder whether I wasted the best years of my life hung up on some crazy motto I thought my idol, my father, lived by. It wasn’t a motto at all, but a reminder of why the love of his life, the mother of his children, didn’t want him. That was why he had said ‘real love isn’t real life’. It wasn’t because he believed the words to be true. It was because my mother had told him those very same words each and every time he tried to convince her to come back. She broke his heart, but you know what? He never gave up on her.” I fidgeted with my hands in my lap.
