by Sara Hubbard
“I…I…”
“Tell me to stop.” His voice was low and husky.
I couldn’t. I made myself think back to the night at the waterfall, how he’d hurt Ethan and my father and Henry.
Remmie closed the distance between our faces, his long braid falling forward and hitting my shoulder. His lips hovered above mine. The intoxicating scent of cedar and sweat made me shiver.
Henry. Father. Ethan.
He moved his lips over mine. They barely touched, like he caressed them with a feather. My whole body felt as if it might explode at any moment. I arched my hips, pressing myself harder against him. I could feel his manhood throbbing between my legs.
Henry. Father. Ethan.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “Please. I can’t.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Stop.” It sounded halfhearted.
He leaned back to stare down at me. I swear he was the handsomest man I’d ever laid eyes on—and probably ever would. If only he hadn’t stolen me away or hurt my family. Would I have had a chance with him? Would I have given myself to him? Married him? As much as I wanted him in that moment, I reminded myself that I never wanted marriage. I wanted excitement and travel. Could I have had that with him? Could I have had it all?
“Good night, Isame,” he said quietly before rolling off me and turning onto his side. He stopped when his back was to me.
“Good night, Remmie.”
I must have counted a million sheep as I held myself back from touching every inch of his flesh.
Early morning sunlight filled the windows as Remmie snored loudly beside me. I wondered how I had managed to fall asleep; he sounded like a charging bear. Some of his hair had come free from his braid and fanned out on the bed around him. I picked a stray strand and rubbed it between my fingers. It was silky smooth. Watching him sleep made me sigh. He was so peaceful. So beautiful. I had to leave his side. I had to be clear of him, just to be able to think without the influence of his smell and his beautiful face.
I threw my ripped dress over my sheath and followed up with the cape.
Outside, I inhaled the clean, fresh air and stared up at the mountains in wonder. Their peaks hid behind billowy white clouds. Not a soul in the area stirred. I wondered, momentarily, how far I would get if I ran. But I wouldn’t. Not yet.
My walk took me along a trodden path that went behind the inn, down a short cliff, and toward a small stream that traveled far into the mountainous ranges. I had never seen the mountains up close before and I hoped I would one day see them again. I followed the stream a little ways, grateful for the fresh air and the solitude that I had been without since my capture. I used to love taking long walks alone in the woods.
When I knelt down by the water, my reflection startled me. Gnarled dark curls and dull green eyes.
The journey had added ten years onto my face, and emotionally I’d probably aged exponentially as well.
Would I ever be the same naive farm girl again? Even if I made it back to my old life, I would feel as much of a prisoner in my marriage to Henry as I did now. I wanted to live my life as I saw fit. If I escaped I would make sure that’s how I lived. I wouldn’t marry Henry. I would risk the town and my family turning their backs on me and be OK with it. My freedom was all I wanted now, and I’d have it no matter how my life played out.
Deep in thought, I shrieked as an unknown force struck me from behind. It knocked me forward, smacking my head against the dirt. After rolling me over, Nole straddled my middle. Why? I wasn’t sure.
The surprise of his attack left my mind spinning. His heavy body forced my lungs to constrict, my air to be all but cut off. Why couldn’t they just grab hold of my arm or something? Why were they always throwing me down and climbing on top of me? I’d had just about all I could take!
“I knew you would play us for fools.” His words were venomous as his hands squeezed around my neck.
Chapter 11
“I…CAN’T…BREATHE,” I said, slapping at Nole’s hands to get him to release the hold he had on my neck.
He snapped his hands open as if they were on springs before rolling off of me.
“You were trying to escape,” His penetrating gaze set on my face and I refused to meet it. I cared very little about how he chose to react to my boldness.
“I went for a walk, you stupid savage. I could have been halfway home while you slept off your ale and yet, here I am. What does that tell you?” He must have drank for most of the night; it oozed from his pores.
“A walk, huh?” he said, cautious.
“I don’t care what you believe,” I spat back at him, pushing him aside as I rose to my feet. “I’m done being bullied by you and your friends.”
Nole seemed to be at a loss for words. He just looked at me as if he were waiting for words—words he did not have—to sprout from his tongue.
It felt wonderful to get good and angry. I wondered why I hadn’t done it before. I got to my feet and stomped back to the inn, hoping he had the sense not to follow. I was irritated with myself for not making a run for it when I had the chance. What was keeping me here? I didn’t think it was fear, anymore, at least not from them. I wanted adventure. And…I wanted Remmie.
I collapsed into a wobbly chair inside the inn and sighed with my whole body. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. As I waited for the female server to come and greet me, Nole strode in to sit at my side. He wouldn’t meet my gaze. Instead, he looked around the room with a scowl on his face as if he was somehow irritated with me. Ridiculous.
The server came over and dropped a loaf of bread on the table and a small block of butter. As she took our orders, her gaze flashed back and forth between Nole and me as if sensing the tension swirling in the air around us.
When she came back with our food she ducked away without a word, but not before slamming Nole’s food down on the table and giving me a very obvious smile and a wink. Women united.
The silence grew as we ate, until Nole finally finished chewing. He leaned forward on his elbows and studied me. His gaze heated my face. When I couldn’t take his glare anymore, I leaned toward him. I wouldn’t back down. He was big and scary, but not to me anymore. Or maybe I no longer cared what he would do to me.
“Do you have something you’d like to say to me?” With my eyebrows raised, I folded my arms and rested them on the table.
“My apologies for assuming.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He shifted uncomfortably and ran a hand over his face. One minute he wasn’t speaking to me, the next he was. One minute he tried to choke the life out of me and the next he apologized. Why couldn’t he just make up his mind as to whether he liked me or hated me? These stupid men were the most confusing I’d ever met in my life.
I had a gut feeling savages didn’t offer a lot of apologies so I simply stared at him, unsure of how to respond.
“I suppose I can’t really blame you if you did try to run away. After all, we did kidnap you. You’ve been a rather good sport about the whole thing actually.”
“A good sport,” I said with a chuckle. “About being kidnapped? Well, that’s probably the oddest compliment I’ve ever had in my life.”
Nole’s lips curled into a rare half smile. Delicate creases formed along the corners of his beautiful blue eyes, but the rest of his face looked strained, as if he wouldn’t allow himself to show any more emotion. Would it have killed him to let go? Allowed himself a laugh or an ear-to-ear grin once in a while? Why did he have to be so in control all the time?
“I promise you that my good behavior will continue on one condition.”
He sighed and leaned in even farther until our faces were uncomfortably close. He stroked the frizzy hair in his braid. “I’m listening.”
“Don’t you think it’s only fair that you tell me what it is that I’m submitting to? Why me?”
He nodded slowly. We sat in silence for a minute or two while he considered what he would te
ll me.
I didn’t expect him to share every last detail, but he had to give me something. I’d still try to escape when the moment presented itself, but I would comply when their heads weren’t turned.
“Why are you taking me to your king?”
“Why indeed?” He grabbed a piece of my bread and popped it into his mouth. After a loud gulp, he pulled his chair over closer to mine and said in a whisper, “Contrary to what you may think, I don’t know the king’s motives. The only thing I can tell you is that he believes you to be fey and intends to use your magic. For what? I have no idea. I am by no means his favorite lead warrior so he only tells me what I need to know to fulfill my duties. His mistrust of me was the reason James traveled with us.”
“Fey? That’s absurd,” I threw my hands up. “He’s mistaken. Neither my mother nor father is fey.
Absolutely not. And I am far from magical. I don’t even believe in fairies.” I folded my arms across my chest, indignant, and leaned back in my seat.
“You heal too quickly for a human,” he said with an arched brow.
“That hardly means I’m fey.”
“It means you are magical, but as to whether you’re a fairy or not remains to be seen.”
“I’m human.” Of course I was. I’d lived on Copaxa my entire life.
He shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
“I am. And when the king meets me, he will realize this, and he’ll have to let me go.”
“Sorry.” He cupped his mug and stared at the water within. “If you’re not fey, he may do much worse to you than James attempted. King Knolen dislikes Copaxans. The only reason our people leave you and your lands alone is because your king and queen are subservient to him. That, and we have a really happy trade relationship that suits our king’s needs.”
I felt sick as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. Now more than ever it was apparent that I needed to leave these men and leave them fast. Whatever affection I had stirring for them deep inside meant absolutely nothing. These men cared nothing for me. They intended to hand me over to the king and allow him to do whatever he wanted with me. They would walk away and not bat a lash for the fate they doomed me to. That was how much they cared about me.
“Do all humans cry as much as you?”
“Ugh!” I moaned, realizing my cheeks were wet yet again. “Come and get me when you’re ready to leave.” In my life, I had never before felt so wretchedly helpless and weak.
I returned to the small stream where Nole had tackled me earlier. The sound of the water’s movement soothed me. I closed my eyes and imagined myself deep beneath the water, being carried along with the stream to the mountains. Thinking about traveling brought my mind back to the gypsy.
The gypsy.
She said my fate was sealed. Was this it? Was I meant to be killed by a king in a foreign land? And why would she tell me that I would always be safe in Faemell? If my fate was sealed, then why give me that information? She must have seen me traveling there. That was the only explanation. Was I really fey?
Was that even possible?
“You look deep in thought.”
I looked over my shoulder at Remmie. He was only a few feet behind me. I squinted up at him as the sunlight beamed all around him. “Oh, it’s you.” I didn’t bother trying to hide my contempt. I hated him more than the others, perhaps because I cared for him the most. It was wrong. So wrong. Not only bad for my health and sanity, but mostly for my conscience.
“You’re cross with me.” He looked confused, as if he couldn’t possibly conceive of a reason. This infuriated me further.
“I’m not cross at all. I simply have no interest in your company. I am sorry if I gave you the impression that I did.”
“This is about your family?”
The thought hit me like an avalanche. I stood and pushed past him, but Remmie caught me by the shoulders. He looked down at me, his eyes tormented and glassy. I felt my anger slipping away. I couldn’t let myself get swept up in his handsome face or the way his hands on my flesh made me feel weak in the knees or ache deep in my chest.
“I’m truly sorry, Isame.” His words were so delicate they felt like a brush of a feather against my cheek.
“I know you are.” I was sure that he was.
“I can’t change what’s been done. I can only try to make amends.”
I should have been pounding on his chest, striking him down, making him bleed, but all my body wanted was for him to wrap his arms around me and show me comfort.
Reluctantly, I raised my hands. I wanted to feel the curves of his cheeks, to bring his face closer to mine. But before I could make contact, I balled them up and dropped them to my sides. I ducked under his arms and ran. Each step away from him drove daggers deeper and deeper into my heart.
We set off early that afternoon. I rode with Nole, a few minutes ahead of the others, who got held up while gathering some last-minute supplies. For the most part, Nole and I rode in silence. I could tell he was out of sorts. His stomach kept gurgling and his alcohol-tainted scent had intensified.
I waved my hand in front of my face. “You smell like a tavern.”
“I promise you I feel worse than I smell.”
I doubted that. His breath was so strong it could have caught fire. When I looked back at him, I saw he squinted his eyes against the blinding sun. I tried to ignore the smell that surrounded him and focused on the next leg of our journey, which was sure to be grueling. The Shenan Mountains. There were six peaks in total, and each was covered in large jagged rocks frosted with snow. Two of them broke through the clouds. At the base of the third and fourth mountain sat a trail that seemed to curve between them at ground level but, in the distance, a wall of snow blocked the path.
“Avalanche,” I mused to myself.
“I lost three men on that trail.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see him stare off in the distance. Given the way he and his friends acted like brothers, I was certain their loss affected him deeply.
He cleared his throat. “We’ll have to go over the mountains this time.”
I wanted them to go over. I planned on making my escape there, but as I looked up at the sky-scraping mountains my stomach started to turn. It seemed impossible we’d cross them and live. We would die from the cold if an avalanche or an ice monster didn’t kill us first.
As we pushed on, the road narrowed and the temperature dropped. I rubbed my arms and fell back onto Nole’s chest as my breath formed small clouds in front of my lips. Fortunately, Nole radiated enough heat to make the cold bearable.
We stopped at the base of the smallest mountain so the men could dismount to pull fur from their satchels. Brown and black fur decorated their bodies while black rabbit pelts and fur were secured with thin rope around their boots.
Remmie wordlessly helped me down from Nole’s horse and began wrapping my body with fur before covering me with a hooded bearskin cape. Sweat coated my body before he finished. I had no idea how he expected me to move from under the added weight. I felt as limber as a rock.
“Isame, you’ll ride with Remmie up the mountain. He’s the lightest. The mountain ledges aren’t the sturdiest and we need to disperse our weight.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but snapped it shut. If I was going to die anyway, I preferred to be in Remmie’s arms than in any of the others. The thought brought heat to my cheeks.
“Why are your cheeks so red?” Otis asked with a smile.
“They’re not!” I snapped. “It’s cold.”
“Sure it is.”
Except for a thin ledge around the side of the smallest mountain, the Shenan Mountains were impassable. Sharp blue-gray rocks protruded from the mountain face like massive spears, and water trickled from small cracks in the surface only to settle into layers of ice over the preexisting ones.
We traveled in single file. The horses did not traverse the uneven and jagged surfaces easily, and they often lost their footing. I wondered how long the me
n would keep the horses before turning them loose.
Remmie usually rode with one hand on the reins, but today he used both, his arms resting on my lap and his body pressed against my back. I was too scared to push him away. I leaned into him and refused to look over the edge. At one point his horse stepped on a loose rock and it tumbled away, shattering fifty or sixty feet below us. The horse stumbled and teetered. For a moment I thought it was all over. I quickly passed my arms under Remmie’s, and secured them around his waist. I attempted to interlace my fingers but he was too wide for my short arms. Once the horse regained its composure, Remmie lowered his head so that his fur-covered cheek rested upon my forehead. The emotions that stirred inside of me scared me.
I was falling for him.
Against all reason. This man—who kidnapped me—made me feel protected and safe. I was going to leave him and it would hurt, more than perhaps anything else I’d ever done in my entire life. But I had to.
This relationship wasn’t normal, and it certainly wasn’t healthy.
Pure white flakes of snow trickled from the sky and dusted the mountains. Soon it picked up and fell like a fog around us. The horses’ hooves crunched in the thick snow. My breath formed clouds in front of me. I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of the horse. How much longer could we continue like this?
“Look!” Otis pointed to a small opening in the rock face ahead.
I narrowed my eyes, straining to see.
Otis dismounted and ventured in for a closer look.
“It’ll hold all of us.” His voice barely cut through the gusting wind and snow.
The rest of the men dismounted, steering the horses inside. The space was just big enough to fit us all. The savages put the horses by the far rock wall, leaving us enough room to lie side by side on the cold, damp floor until the storm settled.
