by Beth Goobie
“Take her gun,” said Phillip, grabbing it from Tana’s limp hand and tossing it to Nellie. “There’ll be more drones, there always are.”
“I know,” said Nellie, catching it, and for the next few minutes they were a team completely in sync as they whirled and pivoted, taking out the drones that were dropping from the ceiling and crawling through trapdoors in the floor. Finally the holograph faded and the walls returned to their original gloomy state, displaying only the Red Planet and the odd star.
“Hey,” said Phillip approvingly, wiping the sweat from mouth. “You’re not bad. What’d you say your name was?”
“Nellie,” said Nellie, then hesitated, staring at Tana’s sprawled figure. “Is she—?”
“No,” Phillip said quickly. “I set the beam on low. She’s just out for a bit.”
“Then we’d better get moving before she wakes up,” said Nellie. Without hesitating, she headed for a trapdoor in the floor and pulled it open. “Hurry,” she called to Nell and the others, who were huddled a ways down the corridor, watching her, openmouthed. “They’ll figure out something’s wrong in a minute and send in the maintenance drones.”
“What about the dogs?” asked Nell, leading the children toward her.
“We’ve got two guns,” said Nellie, sliding her foot into the gap and feeling for the top of a ladder. “That is, if Phillip’s coming with us.”
Fear flashed across his face, followed by grim determination. He gave a quick nod and she realized he’d made the decision to accompany them even though he hadn’t yet remembered her. The guy was going on sheer guts.
“I’ve always hated this place,” he said, holding the trapdoor open for her.
“Me too,” said Nellie, and lowered herself through the opening. Immediately she was hit by an overwhelming stench. Clinging to the ladder, she buried her face in one arm and heaved as she realized what waited at the bottom of the ladder. Then she grunted in pain as a foot kicked her in the head.
“Sorry,” said Nell. “I thought you were further down.”
“The smell,” said Nellie, feeling for the next rung with her foot. “Warn the others.” One arm over her face, she continued slowly downward. In the pitch darkness, there was no way to tell when she’d reached the bottom rung. Down and down she climbed, the stench growing ever stronger, and then without warning her foot landed on something that gave way with a soft ooze.
“I’ve reached it,” she called up. “The bottom. It’ll make you want to puke.” Forcing herself to take several steps away from the ladder, she waited as Nell climbed down, then helped her guide the retching children over the worst of the bodies. Huddled against a wall they waited, listening as the trapdoor closed above them and the others climbed down the ladder.
“Over here,” Nellie called to them. “It gets better if you keep going.”
“Thank the fucking Goddess for that,” Phillip muttered as he stumbled toward them. Then he was beside her in the dark, reaching out to feel for a shoulder or a face. “Where the hell did you guys come from?” he asked, his voice incredulous. “You’re not from Detta, are you?”
“K Block,” said Nellie. “But I used to be in Advanced with you. How is Tana going to fend off the drones when she comes to?”
“I gave her a good shake to wake her up and left her my gun,” said Phillip. “She’ll be all right. Tana’s always all right.”
“Maybe,” Nellie muttered dubiously, then sent her mind into the darkness and began scanning the tunnel in both directions. Left seemed to be the same as right so she turned toward it, cringing as her foot knocked against the narrow arc of what was obviously a bone. “Careful,” she said. “There’s another body here.” Cautiously she felt her way along the tunnel wall and gradually the stench receded behind them. Several of the smaller children were still retching, but the worst of their nausea seemed to have passed.
Someone bumped against her arm, then leaned in close. “Nellie,” her twin whispered quietly. “D’you think the drones will come after us?”
“No,” Nellie said confidently. “That’s not their program. They patrol the maze.”
“Oh,” said Nell and her voice trailed off. “Well,” she added in a rush. “D’you think maybe Deller’s body was back there?”
A gasp came from Fen, and Nellie shrugged off the spurt of creepy-crawlies that shot up her back. “Dunno,” she said gruffly. “There are trapdoors all over the maze.”
“I should go back,” Nell muttered. “Just to see. I might be able to read the vibra —”
“If it’s the dead you’re looking for,” her double said evenly from behind them, “this place is packed with them.”
“Thanks for the news flash,” said Nellie, trying to ignore another spurt of creepy-crawlies.
“Not bodies,” said the girl in the gold dress. “Spirits.” She hummed a single note, a low gray sound. “Watch,” she said, and hummed again. An odd quiver ran through Nellie’s brain, slowing her thoughts, and then forty or fifty silently staring children faded into view around her, their transparent shapes giving off a dim glow.
“There he is,” said Fen, and Nellie followed the direction of his voice toward the silhouette of a boy who was standing close by, watching them carefully. Instinctively her eyes honed in on the wound in his throat and she stepped back, raising her gun as if to ward something off.
“Deller?” whispered Nell and the spirit started toward them, the details of his face growing more distinct as he approached. Even as a colorless transparent figure, there was no denying the narrow face, the steady gaze of the eyes, or the protective way the boy spirit stood as he came to a halt between Nell and Fen.
“Oh.” In the dim light emitted by the spirits, Nellie saw her twin’s hand reach hesitantly toward the figure of the boy. “Oh, Deller,” Nell whispered. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get killed, and I’ve been so aching with sorrow since it happened. I think about you all the time, forever and ever, every day. More than the Goddess even.” Slowly her hand crept toward the wound in the spirit’s throat. “It looks like it just happened. Does it hurt?”
“Not as bad as my finger did.” Muffled and dull, Deller’s voice sounded as if it was coming through some kind of a barrier. A quick grin crossed his face and he reached out as if to touch Nell’s cheek, then hesitated and withdrew his hand. “More than the Goddess?” he asked, and Nellie saw tears start down her twin’s face.
“Yes.” Nell nodded fervently and the two stood for a moment, looking at each other.
“It’s over now, Nellie,” Deller said finally. “It hurt when it happened, just for a sec, and then I was out of my body and there wasn’t any pain. Lucky for me,” he added drily, “she’s a very good shot.”
“This is all my fault,” Fen burst out beside him. “If I hadn’t started traveling the realms, they wouldn’t have gotten me. And you wouldn’t have come looking for me, and ... “
An intense look crossed Deller’s face. “Yeah, Fennie, of course I came looking for you. You would’ve done the same for me. Then this happened, and I ... “ He shrugged. “I lost my body but not myself, see? I’m still me, just not in a body anymore. It’s kind of weird, as if I’m stuck between levels or tuned to the wrong frequency. But it’s no one’s fault it happened. At least” — Deller glanced quickly at Nellie — “ not yours, Fen. So just leave it, okay?”
Fen grunted softly, then said, “What am I going to tell Mom?”
“She already knows,” said Deller. “We talk in dreams. When she sees you walk up to her without me, she’ll know right off it’s true.”
Fen gave another grunt, as if punched, and a silence fell across the three. About them the rest of the spirits stood watching passively, as if the scene was taking place on TV. The small girl standing beside Nellie began to bump her head gently against Nellie’s leg, as if seeking comfort, and Nellie slid an arm awkwardly around her shoulder. Then, from a ways down the tunnel, came the sound of sniffing. A whine went up and a how
l, answered within seconds by howls further down the tunnel. Instinctively the small girl pressed close, so tightly Nellie could feel her shaking.
“The dogs,” said Nell. “Quick. Everyone grab hands.” Turning to her double, she added, “We’ve got to get everyone out of sync.”
But the girl in the gold dress had already begun to hum, and as Nellie’s hand closed around the hand of the small girl beside her, she felt the underground tunnel begin to fade out. Abruptly an odd pressure descended on her brain, as if something was pushing against the stream of vibrations Nell’s double was sending through the line of children, and then the underground tunnel and the distant howling of dogs faded back in.
With a wail, the small girl threw her arms around Nellie’s leg and hung on.
“What’s the matter?” cried Nellie. “Why are we still here?”
“Interference,” said the girl in the gold dress. “Someone in this tunnel has a grievance.”
The far-off howling was growing rapidly nearer. Thirty yards away a single dog could be heard, pacing and whining as it waited for the rest of the pack.
“A grievance,” repeated Nellie, staring at Nell’s double. “Against who?”
“Who do you think?” asked the girl in the gold dress.
For a moment Nellie continued to stare, uncomprehending. Then one of the spirits, a girl of about fourteen, stepped forward.
“I have a grievance,” she said, her eyes on Nellie. “You killed me. And you killed Neer over there, and Drea. And we all know you shot Deller.”
Swiftly Nellie’s eyes skimmed the spirits the girl had pointed out. They looked familiar; it was certainly possible. “I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I must’ve thought you were drones. Things happen so fast in the maze, and you probably had weapons. I can’t remember much of what happened there, the Mind Clean —”
“Yeah.” The fourteen-year-old girl spat in contempt. She looked tough, as if she’d been pulled off the streets. “Killed me, and you can’t even remember.”
A murmur of agreement ran through the rest of the spirits. Panicking, Nellie glanced down the tunnel. The howling was now ominously close.
“All right,” she said hoarsely. “Let the others go out of sync. I’ve got a gun, I can keep the dogs off for a while.”
“But it’s only a stun,” said Phillip. “The battery will deplete.”
“Listen,” another voice interrupted, and then Fen stepped forward, his face twisted and intense. “You don’t know what her life was like. You don’t know how she ended up the way she did. They made me do things too, things I don’t even want to think about. Believe me, I never would’ve dreamed I could’ve done the things they made me do. And I can tell you this much — now I’m out of there and no one’s forcing me to do anything, I’ll never do those things again. Neither will Nellie. She’s changed. She’s not who she used to be. She saved my life, and her twin’s life, and these four kids here. I mean, Deller’s my brother and I know she killed him, but that was before, when they controlled her. I don’t hold a grievance over it.”
The silence among the spirits was like a live thing. “Look,” Fen said desperately, turning to the fourteen-year-old girl. “You were in the maze when she killed you, right? And you had a weapon. Did you try to kill her?”
The girl spirit blinked, but said nothing.
“I didn’t,” came a new voice and Deller stepped up beside his brother. “And I didn’t have a weapon when she shot me. But if Fennie says she’s changed, I’ll take back my grievance and let her be.”
Another murmur passed through the other spirits, and Nellie felt their resistance begin to fade.
“All right,” the fourteen-year-old girl said slowly. “But you remember this, bitch. You just never forget what you owe the dead.”
Wordless, Nellie nodded. Once again the girl in the gold dress began to hum, and Nellie grabbed for the hand of the small girl as the tunnel faded out and the familiar blur kicked in. Without warning, a gust of energy blew through her lower body, then another, and another.
The dogs, she thought, staring at the stun gun she was holding. With it, she might have been able to hold them off for ten, maybe fifteen minutes.
“Everyone here?” Nell called out and Nellie’s eyes darted across the group, counting heads. Yes, they were all here — the four children, Fen, Phillip, Nell and her double. And just beyond them stood the horde of spirits, still watching intently.
“How did you get here?” Nellie blurted in dismay.
“This is in between,” shrugged the fourteen-year-old spirit. “That’s where we live now, between things. It wasn’t hard to follow you here. Anyway, I want you out of this place, and quick. Maybe I’ve let go of my grievance, but I still don’t want you around, disturbing my afterlife. Take her to the closest ladder, Deller, and send her up.”
Obviously relieved, Deller turned to the line of waiting children. Signaling for them to follow, he headed off into the blur and they stumbled after him, hand in hand.
“There are two connections to above that are close by,” Deller said in his muffled voice as they moved along. “One hooks up with Detta Administration and the other to the Goddess’s Redemption Cathedral. The cathedral isn’t guarded as heavily, at least I don’t think it is.”
He stopped and stood gazing upward into the blur. “I think we’re at the ladder that leads to the cathedral. Just a sec and I’ll check it out.” He disappeared, then reappeared and nodded to the group. “Yup, we’re here,” he said. “You should be okay going back into sync now. The dogs are a ways off, and they won’t smell you.” He paused. “Well, good luck with whatever happens. I’ll wait here, just to see —”
“What d’you mean, wait here?” demanded Nell. “You’re coming with us, aren’t you?”
An odd look crossed Deller’s face, and he hesitated. Then he shrugged and said, “Sure. You go first, and I’ll bring up the rear. Just be careful when you get back into sync — there are a lot of bodies around the bottom of the ladder.”
“More of them?” Fen asked weakly.
“Experiments,” Deller said grimly.
A pause fell on the children, and then the girl in the gold dress began to hum. Gradually the pitch darkness of the tunnel reappeared, and Nellie felt the hard outline of a bone next to her foot.
“Where’s the ladder?” she hissed, groping for the wall. Mercifully it was only a few seconds before her hand bumped into a metal rung. Grabbing hold, she began to climb. “I’ll scout it out,” she called over her shoulder. “Wait until I say it’s okay before you climb up.”
She remembered seventeen rungs on the last ladder and counted as she climbed. Sure enough, at the sixteenth the top of her head bumped into something. Pressing her hands against the wooden surface above her, she pushed but felt no give. Panic flared and she pushed harder. This time there was a slight shudder, and the trap-door began to lift. To Nellie’s relief, there was only quiet and darkness above it. Continuing to push as she climbed, she realized the trapdoor’s resistance was due to a small rug that covered it. Quickly she poked an arm through the opening, jerked the rug away with the tip of her gun, and pushed the trapdoor completely open.
She emerged into a musty circular space about ten feet across that peaked high overhead and was lit by a dim bulb plugged into a baseboard. From beyond the curved walls came the sound of chanting as a male voice called out phrases and a multitude of voices echoed them back. Eyes widening, Nellie realized she had entered the cathedral next to the sanctuary. And from the sounds of it, the church was packed with people. Swiftly she calculated. Of course, it was the fifty-fifth day of Lulunar, the birth date of the Goddess’s twin sons, when infants were brought to the churches to be blessed by the priests. Well, a large congregation would give them the cover they needed to escape. Leaning over the edge of the trapdoor, she hissed, “C’mon up, but keep quiet. There’s a service going on.”
From below came the sound of eager climbing, and then the smaller children b
egan to emerge. “Shh,” Nellie warned, herding them into a group, then helped Phillip, Nell and her double through the trapdoor. Hunched over the opening, she waited anxiously as some fierce whispering took place below, then sat back in relief at the sound of further climbing.
“Deller’s going,” blurted Fen as his head poked through the gap. “He said ghosts can’t climb ladders, so I’m supposed to tell you all good-bye.”
With a gasp Nell started toward the trapdoor, but Fen pushed her gently back. “He couldn’t say it to you straight,” he said hoarsely. “He was too upset. Anyway, he’s gone now. Just leave him be.”
A tight gulping sadness descended upon the group as Nell buried her face in her hands. Still kneeling by the trapdoor, Nellie hunched motionless and watched her twin sob. No thoughts moved in her head, her brain seemed to be in some in-between place, out of sync and disconnected from everyone else. Abruptly, without a word, she slipped through the trapdoor and descended the ladder, back into the stench and the ooze. “Deller?” she called softly, her voice echoing against the tunnel walls. “Deller, are you there? It’s Nellie. Not Nellie Joan — the ... other one.”
Something flickered to her right and she saw Deller’s pale figure come toward her in the darkness. “What d’you want?” he asked gruffly. “If you’ve come to say you’re sorry, don’t bother. It’s not going to change anything.”
“No,” stammered Nellie. “Well, I am sorry, but that’s not why I came back down. Fen said you can’t climb the ladder.”
Deller shrugged. “The life of a ghost. It’s solid and I’m not.”
“But you’re walking on the tunnel floor,” said Nellie.
“Not really,” said Deller. “I’m floating over it. My feet don’t actually touch it. Anyway, climbing up and down is different than walking level. You have to be able to grab onto the rungs to do that, and I’m not solid, so I can’t. And ghosts can’t fly, y’know. So it looks like I’m stuck down here.” He shrugged again, but there was a catch in his voice as he added, “For eternity.”
