by J. L. Beck
“Okay, let’s do one more,” I say, checking the time.
Cage leans back on his chair, his shirt rising up a little, showing the edge of his waistband.
“Wanna make a bet?”
“What kind of bet?” I ask before I can think it through.
Cage perks up, excited about me not shutting him down immediately like I should have.
“You shock me every day, you know?”
“I shock myself too, now tell me this bet of yours before I tell you to shut up.”
“How about… I bet you, I can solve this one on my own. No help at all.”
“You’re that confident already?”
“I have a great teacher, and I work better with an incentive.” He shrugs. “So, let’s make a bet. When I win, I’ll get… a kiss. You have to kiss me, right here, right now.”
No, no, no! I should say no. It’s a terrible idea, but curiosity gets the better of me. How am I even entertaining this idea?
“What do I get when I win?”
“I mean, you won’t win, so it doesn’t matter, but if you did hypothetically speaking–win, what would you want?” He rubs at his chin, which has a day’s worth of stubble on it.
I don’t have to think about it for long. This has been bothering me since the weekend.
“You tell me the real reason you don’t like football and why you play it if it doesn’t mean anything to you. “
The smirk on his face is wiped away in an instant and replaced with a deep frown. “That’s stupid. I love football.”
“Take it or leave it.” I cross my arms over my chest, trying to act tough when, in reality, I’m shaking like a damn leaf.
“Fine, I’m not going to lose anyway, so get your lips ready and pucker up, buttercup.” He takes the paper from my hand and starts working on the problem while I sit on pins and needles watching him do it.
What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I agree to this? I’m only feeding into his ego, giving him what he wants. I’m stupid, so stupid, but I also want the truth.
As I watch him write on the paper, I realize he is on the right path. Excitement bubbles up inside of me at the thought of him winning the bet. Is he really going to kiss me?
When he lays the pen down and slides the paper over to me with a grin, I literally stop breathing for a minute. I look down at what he’s written and open the book back up to compare it to the answer. It’s the same.
Oh shit. Dear Lord in heaven. Someone save me from this GQ model.
He solved the problem without me and won the bet. He won.
As soon as he sees it too, a smile the size of Texas spreads across his face. “I won.”
“You did.” I swallow thickly.
“You owe me a kiss.”
Suddenly my mouth goes dry, and the air in this room seems thicker, maybe hotter too.
“Okay,” I whisper as he leans in slowly. The smile on his lips disappearing with every inch he gets closer.
When he is so close that I can feel his minty breath on my skin, I close my eyes. A moment later, his lips are on mine. It’s an innocent kiss, just our lips are touching. Still, I feel more now than I ever have before.
There is a feeling deep inside me, trying to rise to the surface. I can feel it clawing on my inside, begging me to let it free. I want to push it away, push him away, but then he leans in more, deepening the kiss, and I’m so close. So close to letting go, to throwing my arms around him and climbing in his lap.
So close, and then my phone starts to ring, the sound is high-pitched and bounces off the walls and into my ears. I pull away quickly, sitting up straight, I look at Cage who is still leaning into me.
My lips still tingle when I grab the phone from my pocket and check to see who’s calling. It’s an unknown number, but I know the area code, it’s from my hometown.
Could it be my mom? A thousand and one scenarios run through my mind. What if she got hurt? What if something happened to my brother? What if…
“Sorry, I gotta take this.” I push up from the chair, my knees slam into the table, the impact rattling my teeth. I can’t be bothered by the pain though. Opening the door, I step out of the room before pressing the green answer key.
“Hello?” I whisper.
“Blair! Shit! Thank God, I got you on the phone,” my brother’s frantic voice greets me, and instantly I’m sinking in worry. Fear coats my insides like sludge.
“What’s wrong, Ben? Is everything okay with Mom?” I walk further away from the door, not wanting Cage to listen in on my conversation.
“Mom is fine, it’s me. I’m… I’m in trouble.”
“Trouble, how?” I croak, placing a hand against my thundering heartbeat.
“I got arrested, Blair. They won’t let me go unless someone posts bail.”
“Arrested? You got arrested?” I’m shocked and angry, and I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Ben is a good kid. “For what?”
“I did something stupid, and I deserve to have my ass kicked, but I can’t stay in here. Can you please come and get me? It’s only five hundred dollars. You have that, right?”
Only five hundred? What the hell is he thinking? The only reason I have that kind of money is because of Cage. If he wasn’t paying me a ridiculous amount for tutoring, I would never have that, and Ben doesn’t know about Cage or how much I get paid, so why the hell is he expecting me to just have that kind of money?
“Please, Blair,” he begs. “Tell me you are coming to get me. I can’t stay in here, and if Mom finds out.” He sighs, and I can hear the worry and fear, each word filled with a new amount. “She’s going to have a mental breakdown.”
My hands start to shake, and I can feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes.
I will not cry. I. Will. Not. Cry.
“I’ll get a ride and come as fast as I can,” I tell him.
“Thank you. You’re the best. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say the foreign words and hang up the phone, trying to think about the last time we had told each other I love you. Of course, he loves me when he needs me.
With my phone still in my hands, I call the only real friend I have outside of Mia.
“Hey, you,” Jude’s voice comes through the phone, her tone chipper.
“Jude, hey. I have to ask you for a huge favor. I know you’re busy, and I hate to ask, but–” That’s when I hear the baby crying on cue in the background.
Ugh, I can’t ask her. She’s got more important things to do. “Never mind.”
“Don’t be silly. Spit it out. Let me help you. What’s going on? What do you need?”
“I was going to ask you for a ride home, but it’s an hour away, and you are busy, which is completely understandable. I’ll find someone else.”
“Blair, listen. I love my baby, and I love Lex, but if I don’t get a minute without crying and poopy diapers soon, I’m going to stab a fork in my ear. So please tell me where you are so I can come and get you. Lex is here, and he’ll be fine by himself for a while.”
“Are you sure?” I whisper.
“Yes, now, where are you? I’m headed out the door right now.”
“Pick me up at the library, please,” I tell her and hang up the phone.
At least I’ll get to see my brother, even if it’s going to cost me five hundred dollars. I’ll do anything for my family, anything.
12
Cage
Did she seriously blow me off? She left ten minutes ago and never showed back up. I tap the pencil in my hand against the table. I really want to snap the fucking thing, but that might be a bit violent. She left her books too.
What the hell?
Maybe she had an emergency or something? I pack up all her shit and toss it into her backpack and sling it over my shoulder, then I shove my notebook into my book and slide it under my arm. If anything, she probably went to her dorm to grab something, or maybe she got her period? Or… the possibilities are endless here.
All I kn
ow is that Blair is a straight-laced girl, and she wouldn’t just walk out of the session, not when she gave me a lecture about being on time at the beginning.
I reach the glass double doors of the old library entrance, and that’s when I spot her. She’s standing outside, and I just know deep in my gut, she is waiting for someone, but who?
Rushing through the double doors, I open my mouth to say something, but the words never come as a Ford Explorer rolls up to the curb just as I’m running out of the building.
“Hey!” I yell, but Blair is already inside the car and slamming the door.
Fuck, what the hell is going on? It’s like I’m on an episode of the first forty-eight. Jogging across the parking lot, I rush to unlock my truck, my fingers slipping over the buttons. A second later, I get the damn thing unlocked and toss all the stuff into the passenger seat. I don’t even think about my next move. I let my body guide me, my instincts telling me what to do next. Starting the truck, I throw it into reverse and rip out of the parking spot.
Throwing the shifter into drive, I press my foot to the gas pedal and race to catch up with the SUV. Pulling out onto the road, I look around like a crazed person and almost sigh when I see the SUV two stop signs ahead.
Slamming my foot on the gas, I run a stop sign and pull up behind another car that is behind the SUV. I don’t understand why she rushed out of the library, especially without coming back to the room to get her stuff?
It’s completely unlike her, and it’s worrying me. Following at a safe distance, my fingers drum against the steering wheel as we head out of North Woods and toward the interstate.
Where are you going, Blair?
Turning onto the interstate, I follow behind them, keeping four or five car lengths between us. I don’t know why the fuck I thought this was a good idea. Blair isn’t anyone to me, just my tutor, but for some reason, my stupid body didn’t agree with that explanation.
My heart needs to be sure she is okay, and by the way she is acting right now, it’s obvious things are not okay.
So even if it is wrong to follow her, which it is, I am still going to do it, just to be sure she is okay and not being kidnapped or something worse.
The miles tick away on the interstate as we head south, and slowly I start to comprehend where we’re going or at least put together the puzzle pieces. I remember Blair telling me that she lives an hour south of North Woods.
Somehow, I know where she’s going. Home. Another question plays in my head? Why? Why did she leave the session without warning, leaving even her books behind? What is in her hometown that made her throw caution to the wind like that? What made her leave so quick and fast? Did someone die? I’ll feel like a total dick bag if someone died, and I’m following her to her hometown, basically stalking her.
My phone starts to ring, and I hit a button on my steering wheel.
“Dude,” Murphy’s chipper tone rattles through the speakers of my truck.
“What’s up?”
“Where the hell are you, man? Did you forget about wing night over at Bubba’s?”
Shit. “Yeah…” I need to come up with a lie because I’m not telling him that I’m following Blair, a chick I’m supposed to bed and definitely not care about, back to her hometown. “I’m… I’m still studying. If I don’t get my grade up, I’m going to be benched.”
Murphy chuckles. “I’m sure your grades aren’t the only thing getting up right now.”
Any other time, I might have laughed but not right now. My head is not in a place to be joking. I was truly worried about Blair, and I didn’t know how to handle the things I was feeling for her. It was foreign to me to feel anything but pleasure for a chick.
“Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll message you when I’m done, or I’ll see you later at the house tonight. Eat a couple wings for me.”
“She’s getting to you, isn’t she?” The seriousness of his voice stuns me.
“What? No. She’s my tutor, and maybe if I can pry her virginal legs open, my next conquest. That’s it, dude.”
“Yeah, whatever, we’ll see. Talk later.” He hangs up, and I’m left with silence. The operator of the explorer that Blair is in moves into the right lane, and presses on the breaks as they signal and get off at the exit.
My nerves are in shambles as I do the same. They stop at the stop sign and then hang right. I do the same, following them, but staying back. My fingers itch to call her just to ask if she’s okay. Somehow, I resist as we enter a town called Clover Springs.
It’s a small town, nothing more than a dot on the map. There are little ma and pa stores, a grocery store, and a couple diners, but that’s about it.
The explorer slows a bit and then turns right onto a side street. I follow behind but pull up to the curb and throw my truck into park when they come to a complete stop in front of a brick building. Blair rushes out of the explorer before it’s even in park, nearly tripping over her feet. I stare dumbly at the sign hanging on the brick exterior.
Clover Spring Police Department
Why did she come all this way to go to the police department?
A guy comes rushing out of the police station a moment later and collides with Blair. He wraps his lanky arms around her, lifting her off her feet as he hugs her.
A deep primal growl fills my chest, and I grip the steering wheel to stop myself from getting out of the truck. I imagine this is what raw jealousy feels like. Who is this guy? I think to myself a moment before it hits me right in the stomach, the force of the thought slamming into me like a freight train.
Boyfriend. It’s her boyfriend. It’s the only explanation. The blood in my veins boils. She blew me off to come get her boyfriend at the fucking jail? She has a boyfriend. She has a fucking boyfriend, and this whole time, I’ve been trying to get with her.
Betrayal slices through me like a dull knife cutting through a piece of steak. I should look away. I know it but I can’t. I watch with boiling disdain, rage as hot as the sun. I want to punch the fucker in the face, steal Blair away from him.
Sizing him up, I narrow my gaze. He’s tall like a bean pole and younger than Blair and me with light brown hair and an eye color I can’t make out from this distance. I’ve got about an extra hundred pounds on him. One punch is all it would take for me to knock his lights out.
He releases Blair, who reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and pulls out a wallet. I watch as she rifles through it before shoving bills into the guy’s hand. I watch his lips move, the words I love you fall without fail from them.
I love you. I blink and let myself sink deeper into the feelings I refuse to acknowledge. This was stupid, driving here, worrying about her. This whole fucking time, she was driving to come see her boyfriend, and I was worried something bad was going to happen to her. Ha, she fooled me. I’m not really sure why her having a boyfriend bothers me so much, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on it.
I’m overcome with rage and pull away from the curb, driving away without looking back in the rearview mirror. The entire way home, I’m assaulted with thoughts that make me want to beat the hell out of someone.
I’m such a fucking fool. I realize now I was getting emotionally attached to her. I can’t believe I let her see something no one else has ever seen in me. I can’t believe I allowed myself to become so vulnerable. I’m a goddamn fool.
The image of Blair and her boyfriend is burned into my brain and leaves me seeking vengeance. I have no reason to be feeling territorial, or jealous, I know this. I have to push the thoughts of her from my mind. I have to bury whatever feelings were starting to build, crush them, destroy them.
I know just how to do that. With another girl.
When I get back to North Woods, I text Crystal and tell her to meet me at my house. By the time I get there, she is parked at the curb and exits her car as I’m pulling into the driveway. Still brimming with anger, I don’t say anything as I unlock the door and walk inside. I go straight for my bedroom, and like a puppy followi
ng its owner, she follows behind me.
“Where would you like me?” she asks as I flick on the light.
Actually, looking at her now, all I see is everything she isn’t. Her blonde hair is bland in comparison to Blair’s silky mousy brown hair. Her eyes are brown, not the icy blue I’m accustomed to. She’s nothing that I want and yet the only thing that I can have.
“On your knees,” I growl and start to unbutton my pants.
Crystal doesn’t object, whimper, or say a word. She licks her bee-stung lips and drops down to her knees. She knows the score, which is why she’s my favorite chick to sleep with. She never brags, and never asks for more than I can give her, which is generally an orgasm and a pat on her back. Tugging my cock free, I look down at Crystal, but her image is replaced in my mind with Blair. Her smiling beneath me while I plow into her body over and over again. The images keep coming, forming a tornado in my mind, and I know that I can’t do this.
Which really fucking sucks because my cock is rock hard and my balls ache.
“Leave,” I order, scrubbing a hand down my face while I tug my pants back up with my other hand.
“Leave? We haven’t even started yet?” Crystal sounds as confused as I feel, and I can’t blame her for not understanding. None of this makes sense to me.
“I know, but I don’t want you. Leave. Please.” I add at the end just needing her out. With a huff, she pushes off the floor and saunters to the door.
“Next time you want to fuck or need to blow off steam, call someone else,” she growls as she opens the door and slams it shut, making the walls rattle.
Sagging back onto my bed, I stare up at the ceiling. Blair has fucked me up. She’s gotten under my skin, in my head, and now she’s messing with my sex life. I can’t even get a blow job without picturing her on her knees before me.
My cock aches, and I know if I’m going to get off, it’s going to be with my own hand. Shaking my head and gritting my teeth, I push away the fact that I feel like a teenage boy wanking off for the first time. Letting my eyes fall closed, I try and think of anything but Blair, but all I see are bright blue eyes and a smile that melts my fucking heart.
