by J. L. Beck
A bitter laugh passes my lips, and I almost regret it when she flinches at the sound, but I’m too far gone, broken, and the only one that can save me is the beautiful nerd right in front of me. I have to have her.
Grabbing her by the hips, I guide her back toward the counter and reach for the waistband of her yoga pants. Gritting my teeth, I force myself to pause, to give her a chance to escape me, to say no.
“I want you. Hard and fast. I can’t be gentle right now.”
Hearing the need in my voice, she nods, and I shove the fabric, right along with her panties down her legs. In one swoop, she is naked from the waist down, and I grab her by the hips and place her on the counter.
Shoving my sweats down, I tug her to the edge and bring the tip of my cock to her entrance. Thrusting my hips, I’m inside of her. My jaw clenches and my insides twist at the warm heat that clenches around me. Paradise.
Blair’s fingers dig into my shoulders as she clings to me, pain flickers in her blue eyes. I feed on it, need it. I maneuver her, bending her knees, pushing them to her chest.
Snaking a hand beneath her head, I cradle the back of it, bringing us closer as I plow into her with a vicious need. I’m grasping for some type of control in my life, a life that isn’t my own. Pouring my pain and rage into each stroke, I let my eyes drift closed for a moment, soaking how her tight, slick channel strangles my cock.
“Fuck, you make all the pain disappear,” I hiss, and blink my heavy lust-filled eyes open. My gaze collides with Blair’s. Her big blues shine with pleasure, and her lips part on a gasp as I swivel my hips, my cock brushing against her g-spot.
“So good,” She pants, and I can feel the anger seeping out of me. I drill into her, harder and faster, holding her in place, using her. I can’t get enough, can’t get myself inside of her deep enough. I want to imbed myself inside of her.
Leaning forward, I take her mouth with a hunger that can only be sedated by her. She is the beauty, and I am the beast.
She starts to pulse around me, her muscles tightening, and I know she is close. There’s a tightening in my balls, and I know soon we’ll crest together.
“Come for me. Come all over my cock, milk me!” I growl against her swollen lips.
Blair shakes her head as if she’s trying to fight off the pleasure that is seconds away from pulling her under. Pistoning my hips, I thrust deeper, harder, grinding against her. The air in my lungs stills, and I know euphoric bliss is on the horizon.
Gritting my teeth, I feel the distinct ache in my balls. I’m going to fucking explode. Thankfully, Blair tips over the edge, her eyes fall closed, and her body trembles beneath mine a moment before she starts to pulse, making it impossible for me to move inside of her.
I can’t stifle the groan that rips from my throat. The feelings that engulf me at having her in my arms and feeling her fall apart are intense. There are no words.
Her orgasm brings on my own, and I explode deep inside her channel, flooding her with ropes of my warm release. Sagging forward, I press my forehead to hers. I hold us together until our pants become shallow breaths. Then the guilt comes. It rips through me like a tornado, making me forget all about the pleasure we both just shared.
My still partially hard cock slips out of her, and I pull away and help her to her feet. I watch her face, looking for a wince, or even a little discomfort, but find nothing.
It doesn’t ease the guilt though. I fucked my rage right into her and let myself go. Even if she agreed, I shouldn’t have done it. I should’ve walked away, let myself cool off.
“That was intense,” she whispers with a shy smile on her lips.
Keeping my eyes downcast, I whisper, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken you so roughly.”
Feeling the need to do something, I pick up her yoga pants and panties and hand them to her. Even looking at them makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t believe I let my anger for my father flood over into my feelings for Blair. That I took her so savagely. If it was anyone else, I probably wouldn’t have cared, but she is different. She is everything and more, and I don’t want my shit father to taint what we have.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her pulling her clothing back on. I can sense her eyes on me, feel them on me like little pieces of glass etching into my skin.
Blair is like the wind to me. Even when she isn’t nearby, I can still feel her presence. I’ve never experienced that with anyone, and it makes me want to keep her forever, to lock her away inside my heart and destroy the key.
I doubt she’ll want that after what she just saw.
After how I treated her.
I don’t deserve her, but I don’t think I can ever let her go.
21
Blair
He looks down at the ground like he’d kicked my dog and didn’t just give an orgasm that made my eyes roll to the back of my head. I know he’s fragile right now, and like a pane of glass, he could shatter at any minute.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Cage. Yeah, it was rougher than usual, but it still felt amazing.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. That’s not me.” He runs one of his mammoth hands through his dark mop of hair. “You did nothing wrong, and I—”
“Stop! You didn’t hurt me, so stop acting like you did. I can’t stand to see you beat yourself up over nothing. Now, let’s go get your nose cleaned up, and you can tell me what that was all about.”
Those perfect emerald eyes widen, and his lips part, but I don’t wait to hear his response. Grabbing his hand, I tug him toward the bathroom. I instruct him to sit on the toilet, which he grumbles about, but still does.
“Do you have a first aid kit?” I ask, opening one of the drawers.
“Under the sink.”
Pulling the cabinet doors open, I find a white box stashed in the back, and I grab it and set it on the vanity.
I’ve barely cracked the box open when Cage’s sober voice reaches me. “I didn’t want you to have to see that.”
Pausing, I glance over at him. He’s looking at the floor still, his angelic features harsh and angry and so incredibly sad.
“We don’t get to pick our family, and it’s not like you planned on him coming. You looked pretty surprised.”
“I hate football.”
I freeze for a moment, then sigh and continue getting out the stuff I need. “I know.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t admit it before. You were right. You were the only person who ever saw it. I hate football, and I only play because of my dad.”
My heart breaks for him, and all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and tell him it’s going to be okay, but I also want him to continue talking. I want him to share with me his secrets, the way I shared mine with him.
“Why don’t you quit so you can concentrate on school?”
I peel open the small pack of alcohol wipes and start cleaning the tiny cut on the bridge of his nose. He doesn’t even wince as I clean it, and then wipe the rest of the blood off his face. It must hurt. It’s already swollen and turning blue.
“I’m on a football scholarship. My father pays for the rest. He’s an asshole, but a rich one. If I quit ball, I have nothing. No money, no education, nothing. As fast as he gave everything to me, it’ll be taken away.” There is a hopelessness in his voice that I’ve never heard before. It’s like he is scared of his father, as if he feels small and weak against him. It’s a far cry from his big and strong exterior.
“I wish there was something I could do,” I say, dropping the wipes in the trash bin. Hearing his sorrow makes me feel completely helpless. He helped me break free from my perfectly bubbled life. I should be able to help him, to give back.
“You do so much already. You don’t even know it.”
“It doesn’t feel like it, and your nose doesn’t look like it.” I frown.
“That has nothing to do with you. Trust me, my dad does shit like this all the time. It would have happened, regardless. That�
�s just the way he is now. If my mom was still here, it would be different.”
I had always assumed something happened to his mother or that she wasn’t in the picture, but I had never thought she was dead. Pushing him to tell me more about his parents wasn’t something I wanted to do. I figured he would talk about it when he was ready, just like the football thing.
“Was he different when she was alive?”
“Much. He changed so much after she passed. I think he really loved her, and when he lost her, part of him was lost too. They were high school sweethearts. Continued dating in college. My dad was playing football, but then my mom got pregnant with me, and my dad was forced to quit so he could get a full-time job to provide for us.”
“And now he resents you for it?”
“Yes. You know why I don’t hit my father back? Because sometimes I think it’s my fault.”
Anger curls in my belly. “Don’t ever say that. None of that is your fault. Your father should not blame you for anything, and he shouldn’t treat you the way he does. You’re his son, not a doormat for him to take his frustrations out on.”
“He is just a sad man who lost all his dreams, and then the love of his life.”
“Are you forgetting that you lost your mom at the same time? And what about your dreams? He should be there for you, support you, instead of making your life harder.”
“I know. I just think he is too broken to take care of me. If I lost you, I think I’d be broken too.”
A couple of days later, and his words are still running on replay in my mind.
If I lost you, I think I’d be broken too.
I didn’t say it back to him or even agree, but I feel the same. I’m done fighting it. Cage is nothing like any of the guys my mom dates, and I’m not like my mom. I can’t keep living my life worried that I’ll make a mistake that will put me on a path to be just like my mother.
I am not her.
After we take a shower together, and Cage washes my hair and body for me, we get dressed. It isn’t until I’m rustling through my bag that I realize I’m almost out of clothes again.
“Ugh, I really need to get the rest of my stuff from the dorm.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back.
We never talked about me moving in here permanently. Cage offered it as a temporary thing, and even though in my mind, I already live here, I really can’t assume. That would be taking our relationship to the next level, and so soon after we just started dating.
“What all do you have there?” he asks while buttoning up his shirt.
“I-I’m sorry.” I stumble over the words and almost over my feet as I pull up my yoga pants. “I mean. We don’t need to get my stuff. I still live in the dorms, so that’s where my stuff should be. You know?”
Cage raises an eyebrow at me. “Why would you move back to the dorms? Don’t you like it here?”
“Yes, I love it here and being with you. I just didn’t want to impose. This was only supposed to be temporary.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I want you here. Matter of fact, I probably wouldn’t let you leave even if you tried.”
“That’s called kidnapping, and it’s against the law.” I grin.
“But is it really kidnapping if the person you’re keeping locked up wants to be locked up?” The smile he gives me sets my panties on fire. Before Cage, I never understood the meaning of a panty-melting smile. Now I get it. “You know what? Let’s go get all your stuff now, so you don’t have an excuse to go back there.”
“Are you sure? Shouldn’t you ask Murphy first?” I’m not dragging my feet, not really. I want to be here, but I don’t want to step on any toes.
“I’m positive, and I don’t care what Murphy thinks, or anyone else. Now, put your shirt on because there is no way you’re stepping out of this room like that.” He points to my chest, making me look down. I’m still only wearing a bra. “What’s wrong with this bra? It’s the cutest one I have,” I tease.
“I’d prefer if you didn’t have one on at all, but either way, I’m the only one who gets to see you like that.”
“They make bikinis. I have one. Maybe we can go to the beach, and I can show it off.”
Cage growls. “Do you want me to go to jail?”
“Of course not.”
“Then, no bikinis. You’re mine, every single inch.” The possessiveness he exerts over me makes me want to kiss him, but I oblige. One kiss will lead to two, and two will lead us to the bed, and if we end up there, we will never get out of this bedroom.
So instead, I grab a shirt and pull it over my head. When I’m all covered up, Cage opens the door for me and leads me downstairs. We hear Murphy and some other guys talking and laughing in the living room before we make it down the stairs. Their voices so loud, they carry through the whole damn house. I can’t help but tense up a little, knowing that we’re going to be walking into a room full of guys. Guys that are Cage’s friends.
When we walk around the corner hand in hand, the room falls quiet, and all eyes turn to us. There are five guys here, sitting on the couch, each drinking a beer. I know two of them, Murphy and Evan, but I don’t know the other three.
The large flat-screen TV is playing a football game, but no one is paying attention to it at the moment.
“I thought there were no girls allowed at football night?” One of the three guys I don’t know says.
“You can’t bring a girl, Charlie. Or any of you fuckers for that matter. My house, my rules. Besides, Blair lives here now.”
“This girl lives with you?” The guy named Charlie asks, pointing his finger at me. He seems to be stunned at the thought.
Cage tenses next to me. His grip on my hand tightens, almost painfully. Murphy chuckles and shakes his head at his friend.
“Don’t make him kick your ass, Charlie, because I will crack open another beer, make some popcorn, and watch this shit go down.” Murphy snickers.
“This is Blair, and she is my girlfriend. So, if you want to leave my place with all of your teeth inside your mouth, I suggest you watch what you say.”
Did Cage just call me his girlfriend?
“I get it. Calm your nutsack.” Charlie throws up his hands in defeat.
“Let’s just go, Cage.” I try to distract him and pull him toward the door. The last thing we need is another fight to take place.
Reluctantly, he follows me, letting me drag him out the door.
“I’m sorry,” he says when we are in the truck. “Most of my friends play football, so they get hit in the head a lot.”
“You don’t have to apologize. We are kind of an odd couple.” I shrug.
“Nothing odd about us. I’m a football player, and you’re the prettiest girl in school. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
I feel my cheeks heat at his words. I’m still not used to someone complimenting me on my looks. I always get compliments and praise on my academics, but never on the way I look.
Cage parks right in front of the dorms. As we get out of the truck, excitement fills me. We’re here to get my things. I’m moving in with Cage for good.
He comes around the truck and wraps his large hand around mine.
“Cage!” Someone yells from across the street.
We both turn at the same time. It’s his coach, who is now crossing the street and heading in our direction.
“I need to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute?”
“I’m actually just about to–”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go upstairs and start packing. You talk.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, don’t worry. Just come up when you’re done.”
“Okay, but don’t try to carry heavy shit down the stairs,” he warns.
“I won’t.”
Getting on my tiptoes, I give him a kiss on his cheek before heading into the dorm. Walking up the steps, I’m smiling so hard my cheeks ache.
I smile all the way up
the stairs, but as soon as I open the door to my room, that smile vanishes from my face. Amanda is sitting on her bed, painting her toenails.
“Look who it is. The Ice Queen herself.”
God, I’m glad to be out of here.
“I’m just here to get my stuff. You’ll have a single room starting today.”
“Don’t tell me you’re moving in with him.” Amanda rolls her eyes.
“That’s none of your business.” I try to ignore her as I start gathering my things, but I can’t help and continue. “I don’t know why you are so interested in what I do anyway. Jealousy?”
Amanda snorts. “Did you forget that I had him first? Why would I be jealous? You are nothing but a stupid bet to him, and now that he has won, you’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Cage made a bet with his football buddies about you. He bet he could make you fall in love with him after the party incident. Everyone knows… well, except you.”
“You’re lying.” I shake my head. “What Cage and I have is real.”
“If you say so.” Amanda chuckles. “You better don’t come back here crying all night when he is done with you. I warned you.”
Doubt wraps its vines around my legs, threatening to pull me under. What if she is telling the truth? Could it all have been fake?
“Honestly, I can’t believe you fell for it. I thought you were supposed to be smart? I guess that’s what happens when you are starving for some attention.”
Grabbing my half-packed bag off the bed, I storm out of the room. I have to talk to him. I need him to tell me that it’s not true.
This has to be a lie. Because if it’s not, I’ll be the broken one.
22
Cage
As soon as I see her, I know something is horribly wrong. Anguish, the kind that rips your heart from your body, contorts her features. Her steps are wobbly, and her shoulders rise and fall on a sob. I have no idea what could be wrong, all I know is I have to figure it out soon and make whoever hurt her pay.
