The Jock: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (North Woods University Book 6)

by J. L. Beck

  Rushing toward her, I ask the obvious question, “What happened?”

  She shakes her head and looks up from the ground as I reach for the bag she’s almost dragging across the pavement. She flinches as if I’m going to hurt her, but I don’t pull away. I take the bag from her and grab her hand with the other.

  Her hand merely sits within mine. Blue eyes shimmer with tears, and my heart clenches in my chest. What the hell happened between her leaving the truck and now?

  “What the fuck happened?” I grit out, barely holding myself together as we reach the truck. I open the back door and toss the bag into the backseat. Blair still hasn’t said anything, and I’m close to throttling her.

  “If you don’t tell me what the fuck happened, I’m going to go into the dorm and start questioning people.”

  “Amanda.” She releases a sob, her pleading eyes meet mine. “She said I’m a bet. That you made a bet with your friends about me. You bet you could make me fall in love with you.” Her bottom lip wobbles, and the ground beneath my feet shifts.

  Every beat of my heart feels like a punch to my gut. She found out. I have to make this right. I have to fix this because if I don’t explain quickly, I risk losing her forever.

  “Tell me it’s not true, Cage. Tell me because the way you’re looking right now makes me think she’s telling the truth.” Panic coats each and every word that passes her lips.

  My lips part, but no words come. Say something. Anything. I want to tell her it’s not true, but that would be lying because it is true. It was a bet, but now it’s more than that.

  “I… It’s not what you think.” As soon as I say it, her eyes widen, and she gasps, pressing a hand to her chest as if she’s in pain.

  And she is, because of me. I am too. It feels like I’m losing a piece of my soul, knowing that I hurt her. That I’m the cause of her anguish.

  Sadness morphs into rage. “It’s not what I think?” Locks of brown hair fall on her face as she shakes her head. It’s like she’s trying to make a bad dream go away, but this isn’t a bad dream. This is reality, and I’ve fucked up. I’ve ruined the last good thing in my life. “It’s fairly simple. Was I bet, or was I not? It’s a yes or no question, Cage.”

  My mouth goes dry. “In the beginning, yes, but that was before I got to know you. Before I started to fall for you, and we shared shit with each other.”

  Blair takes a step back, and all I see is disbelief in her eyes. I want to reach for her, but I know even as she stands in front of me, emotionally, she is completely out of reach.

  “I thought this was real. I thought you were real.”

  “I am real, and what we have is real. My feelings aren’t a lie.” I need her to know that everything up to this point has been real. “I’m asking you to move in with me, how much more real can it get?”

  “The foundation you lay in a relationship is the most important thing of all, and ours is built on a lie. You said you wouldn’t hurt me, and you lied. All of this is a lie.” She walks backward, each step putting more and more distance between us. Panicked, I walk toward her. I need to fix this and find a way to bring her back to me. I can’t let her go. I can’t lose her, even though it feels like I already am.

  “Blair, wait… I love… I love you.” I’m not sure where the words come from, but they pour out of me like word vomit against the pavement that separates us. They’re the most real words I’ve ever spoken to the opposite sex.

  “Love? You love me?” She gasps.

  I nod. “I love you, Blair. I fucked up, but we can fix this. I told you, I can’t lose you. I’ve shared things with you I’ve never shared with anyone. I’ve asked you to move in with me. I love you, and I can’t bear to lose you. You’re the only thing in this fucked up world that matters. You matter to me.”

  Grabbing onto her hands with my own shaking ones, I pull her closer. I need her to be close. Tears stream down her smooth cheeks, and I hold my breath, waiting for her to say something. Understanding reflects in her eyes, and she forces a shallow breath into her lungs. Another minute passes between us, and my stomach twists tightly. I think I’m going to be sick.

  Then she finally speaks. “I believe you, and even though I’m hurt, I love you too.”

  Fuck, she loves me. She fucking loves me.

  All I can do is stare in awe at her, wanting to punch myself in the face for making that bet to begin with.

  “I’m stupid, so fucking stupid,” I whisper, letting go of her hands and wrapping her in my arms. Nuzzling her face against my chest, we breathe each other in. Her scent calms me. “I could’ve lost you. I could’ve lost you,” I repeat over and over again.

  “It’s okay,” she assures me softly, pulling away just enough so that I can see her face. Her eyes are swollen, and her cheeks are red. I need to make this up to her.

  “Let’s go back to the condo, and I can make this up to you. I’m sorry, Blair.” I can’t seem to say it enough.

  “Let’s go.” She pulls away and grabs my hand. I look down at our joined hands and know that I will never take this for granted again.

  We’re both quiet the entire drive to the condo, and as badly as I want to tell her to talk to me, to tell me she hates me, or expel all her sadness, I know I need to give her time. The last thing I want to do is risk pushing her away.

  As soon as I pull the truck into the driveway, I see my father’s Cadillac parked in the spot Murphy usually parks his SUV. I had hoped he would go home, back to his mansion on the hill, but I’m not surprised that he is still here. No doubt, he comes with bad news as well. Dread threatens to consume me.

  This is too fucking much. I almost lost Blair, and now my father is here again. The bad in my life just keeps piling up.

  “Whose car is that?” Blair asks, perking up in the seat.

  “My father’s,” I reply, trying to keep the coldness out of my voice.

  “Why is he here?”

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to find out.” It’s an honest answer. I’m not sure why he’s still here. He made his point the other night when he punched me in the face and should’ve been long gone by now.

  Together we get out of the car, and it feels like we’re marching into battle together. I force myself to give Blair a smile as we walk up the steps and into the house. My father is standing in the kitchen, disgust on his features.

  “Send your friends away,” is all he says.

  “What do you want? Shouldn’t you be home by now?” I growl, tightening my grip on Blair’s hand. I’m afraid that if I let go of her, she’ll run away, and I’ll never find her.

  My father’s cold gaze moves from me and then to Blair. Half stepping in front of her, I shield her body from his gaze. “Didn’t I tell you to get rid of her?”

  “Didn’t I tell you I’m an adult and can make my own choices?”

  “You really do need a lesson in manners and listening.” He shakes his head. “And this little shitshow with the girl and your friends. It only solidifies my choice more.”

  “What choice?”

  The smile he gives me is one he offers to his clients when he comes up with a slimy deal. As a lawyer, he’s good at fucking people over.

  “I’m transferring you to Blackthorn next semester. You’ll play ball there this summer, where there are no distractions. Obviously, North Woods isn’t the school for you.”

  My heart sinks into my stomach. He’s trying to take everything from me. My friends, the life I have here, and the most gut-wrenching of all, Blair.

  “I’m staying here. North Woods is where I belong. Coach Willard will be pissed if I transfer.”

  I’ll come up with any excuse to stay.

  “Coach Willard doesn’t fund your house, truck, or the credit card in your wallet, so he doesn’t get a fucking say. I’ve set up a meeting with the football coach at Blackthorn. You’re going, or you can kiss everything you have goodbye.”

  A lump forms in my throat. I think I’m going to barf. I can’
t accept this. I can’t leave. But what else am I going to do? I’ll have nothing. I won’t be able to take care of Blair if I don’t have a job, an education, or even a place to stay.

  There’s nothing I can do. If I say no, then everything is gone. I have no way of surviving, but if I go, I leave everything behind, including Blair.

  It feels like I’m being torn in two because this isn’t a choice. There is no option for me.

  “You will go, Cage. You will play on the Blackthorn team, and you will be good at it. Do not make a mockery out of me. I will make you wish you were never born if you do.”

  My jaw clenches so hard, I swear my teeth crack. I don’t want to play football or be anywhere that Blair isn’t, but I’m fucking terrified.

  If I go, at least there is hope, I can finish college, and then I don’t need my dad or anyone else. Then, I can take care of Blair.

  We can still make it, we could do the long-distance thing, see each other every weekend. It wouldn’t have to be this way forever. Anger surges through me, and I clench my free hand into a fist.

  “Fine. It’s not like I have another option anyway.”

  “That’s right, you don’t.” His flat voice makes me want to punch him the face, but violence isn’t any good in this situation. My father doesn’t care what happens to him as long as he gets what he wants. Looking over my shoulder, I peer down at Blair’s grief-stricken face. She looks how I feel, like someone ripped my still-beating heart out of my chest and tossed it on the ground.

  “Can you please leave?” I growl, trying to keep my voice steady so I don’t start another argument. All I want is for him to leave and for me to try and figure out how I can get out of this situation without losing Blair.

  “I suppose. From here on out, I want only your rent-paying roommate and you in the house. This isn’t a fucking frat party or catchall house.”

  “Sure,” I grit out, my anger rising with each second he continues standing here.

  Slowly, he walks toward the door, but I doubt he’ll leave North Woods. I’ve antagonized him, and now he’s out to make my life a living hell.

  As soon as he’s out the door, I walk over to it and click the lock into place. Not that it matters, he has a key after all. When I turn around, Blair is looking at the floor.

  “Look, we can make this work. We can do the long-distance thing. It’s only an hour, and I can drive up to see you every weekend,” I start, but as soon as she lifts her gaze from the floor, I know there is no point in continuing.

  “I can’t do this with you.” I can see the walls building back up, see them closing in around her. She’s retreating, turning in on herself.

  “Don’t say that. Please…” I don’t care how desperate I sound. All I care about is keeping Blair beside me because she is the last good thing I have in my life.

  “I’m sorry, Cage, but I’m done. This is too much. You don’t even like football, and you agreed to leave!” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. Tears start to fall from her eyes and skate down her cheeks. “I guess you got one thing out of this though. You achieved your goal. You made me fall in love with you. The nobody nerd fell for the handsome jock who she knew she could never have. Too bad this won’t end with a happily ever after.”

  Retreating toward the door, I know she is seconds away from leaving. Fierce determination forces me to move my legs and run toward her. I can’t let her go without a fight, even though I can feel her slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

  Grabbing her by the shoulder, I attempt to turn her around, but she shrugs my hold off and whirls around on me. Big fat tears are already trailing down her cheeks, and I feel her pain, feel it in my gut. That bet was stupid, so fucking stupid. Why did I even do it?

  Because you wanted what you couldn’t have…

  “Blair, please…”

  “No! Leave me alone. I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m done. We’re done!” She hurls the words at me like they’re bricks, and they are.

  Each word slams into me with the intensity of a speeding bullet.

  “I love you, Blair,” I croak, feeling weak in the knees.

  “I love you too, but you’re leaving. You’re leaving me to go to Blackthorn to play a sport you don’t even enjoy. There is no future for us.”

  “We can make it work. I told you, I would come and visit, stay every weekend.”

  I know I’m grasping at straws, that she’s already made up her mind, but I would be a stupid man not to try.

  She shakes her head, soft locks of brown hair fall onto her face, shielding half of it from view, and I’ve never seen her so broken. I did this to us. First, with the bet, and now with my father.

  “I’m sorry, Cage,” she whispers.

  Everything around me falls away. There is no sound, no floor beneath my feet. I’m holding my aching heart in my hands, watching in horror as she ambles to the door, opens it, and walks out, leaving me standing in a house that has never felt so empty before.

  23

  Blair

  They say first love is the hardest, but I disagree. Love in general hurts and losing the person you love, well, it feels like a piece of your own heart is being cut out.

  Words cannot describe the anguish I feel over his loss. It feels like I’m grieving someone’s death, and I don’t understand why.

  Maybe because it was real?

  I just can’t be sure. I don’t know what to believe. All I know is that I miss him.

  He’s called so many times over the last three days, I ended up shutting off my phone. It just kept ringing, and I was close to cracking.

  I hate leaving Jude’s house more than anything, but three days is enough time to spend camped out in your best friend’s spare bedroom. Eventually, I’m going to have to dry my tears, and pull on my big girl panties, so why not do it now?

  “You know you can stay, right?” Jude’s concerned voice meets my ear as I walk toward the door, bag in hand.

  “I know, but it’s easier if I go back to the dorms. All my stuff is there, and I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to get to and from campus.”

  “I can drive you any time,” Lex chimes in. “You act like campus is three hours away. Plus, Sebastian loves my surprise visits.”

  The smirk he gives me tells me otherwise.

  “I really do appreciate you–”

  I’m interrupted by a sound coming from the baby monitor sitting on the side table. A high-pitched wail filters through, reminding me of yet another reason why I need to leave.

  They have a newborn. They are newlyweds. They are a family, and I am not part of that. I don’t belong here.

  The question now is, where do I belong?

  “I got to get the baby,” Jude tells me before giving me a quick hug. “Call me if you change your mind.” I nod and watch as she disappears into the hallway.

  Lex holds the door open for me, and we walk out. Just like Cage, he is tall and muscular, which is no surprise since he is a personal trainer at a gym.

  I throw my stuff in the trunk and get in the passenger seat.

  “You should talk to him. Hear him out at least,” Lex says as he pulls out of the driveway.

  “Why would you even say that? You don’t know him.”

  “I know you. I see how miserable you are. And even though I don’t know him personally, I do know of him, and I know what kind of person he is.”

  “And what kind is that?”

  “Hard-headed, impulsive with anger issues, and a slightly broken moral compass.”

  “Wow, you do know him.”

  “Yeah, got a brother just like that. You’ve met Remington, haven’t you?” I had met him and his wife and their baby girl at Jude and Lex’s wedding. Remington didn’t look as if he had eyes for anyone but his wife.

  “Yes, he seemed super nice though, nothing like you just described.” Seb, Lex, and Rem all seem similar to me. Kind, dedicated, protective. I could never see them hurting the women they love
.

  “See, here is the thing. People like him, they might be difficult, emotional, uncontrollable, and definitely do dumb things sometimes, but they’re also loyal, determined, and when they love, they love with all their heart. There is no half-ass bullshit love with men like that. Yeah, their mess-ups are of epic proportions, but so is their love.”

  “If that was true, Cage wouldn’t be leaving me.”

  “Look at it this way, his dad didn’t give him a choice. Maybe he was scared or felt like he had to go. Just talk to him. There is always more to the story than meets the eye.”

  My body physically aches to be near Cage, but all I felt when he agreed to leave was loss, complete and utter loss.

  “I don’t know, Lex. He’s leaving, and I feel like every minute I spend with him now will make our goodbye harder,” my voice cracks at the end. Just the thought is adding to the ache in my chest, to the ever-expanding hole Cage left.

  There is no Band-Aid, no special pill I can take to make me forget. Forgetting is the only way I’ll be able to move on from this.

  “Jude hates seeing you like this, and I do too. Please, promise me that you’ll at least think about it. Even if all it does is bring you closure.”

  I nod, but I know good and well there is no closure for us. Cage is in my soul, like a vine, he is wrapped around my organs, and deep in my veins.

  There is no happiness for me without him.

  “It gets better. I had to wait a long time for Jude to come along, and our love story was never conventional. The best kind of love never comes easy, it takes work and patience.”

  I take in his words, play with them in my head, but I don’t let them get through all the way because that would mean hope, and I’m too scared to take on even a little of that.

  “Thanks for the ride, Lex,” I tell him as he pulls up to the curb. I feel bad that my mood has been so sour, and all I’ve done for the last few days is cry, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve got my bag and am out of the truck before Lex can say anything else.