One Step At A Time

by Brenda Adcock

  “Somewhere with Alice,” he answered with a shrug. “Car’s still here, so look around,” he said, continuing to direct workers in various directions.

  Maddie loped down the center of the gradually rising Midway, twisting her head from side to side. Halfway down the open walkway, she spotted Alice hanging stuffed animals. Maddie stopped and walked casually toward the booth. What would she say if Dani was there? What could she say?

  “Need help?” Maddie asked as she approached Alice.

  “Thought you was movin’ Buck’s lift this mornin’,” Alice said, hanging another large stuffed Panda.

  Maddie shrugged and shoved her hands into her jean pockets. “Just checkin’ to see what else needed to be done,” she said, glancing around, trying not to appear obvious, but failing miserably.

  “She’s out back unpackin’ the last of the prizes for me, if that’s who you’re lookin’ for,” Alice said with a smile.

  “Thanks,” Maddie replied.

  Alice reached across the booth counter and grabbed Maddie’s arm. “Don’t you hurt that girl, kid.”

  Maddie frowned. “Too late. I already have,” she muttered. She vaulted over the counter and started toward the rear of the booth. When she pulled the back curtain aside, Dani stood in front of her, her arms loaded with plush animals. Only her eyes showed above the prizes. She was dressed in old faded jeans, a flannel shirt covered by a quilted vest, and scuffed boots. To Maddie, she looked adorable.

  “Merry Christmas!” Dani chirped with a smile. “Did you get your cookies?”

  Maddie nodded. “You didn’t have to drive across three damn states to bring them to me. How the hell did you know where I was anyway?”

  Dani leaned forward slightly and lowered her voice. “Don’t tell anyone, but I have some connections with the local police department back home,” she said. “I knew you’d run back to somewhere you felt safe.”

  Maddie stared at the ground and pushed dirt around with the toe of her work boot. “I wouldn’t call it runnin’. I was comfortable here,” she said.

  “Well, whatever you call it, I’m sorry I tried to push you into something you didn’t want,” Dani said.

  “Old Buck sort of confiscated my cookies, so you might have to bake another batch,” Maddie grinned. “Thanks for helpin’ Alice get set up.”

  “No problem. It’s kinda fun,” Dani said. “Oh, and there’s a Christmas present for you in the trunk of my car. Remind me later,” she said as she pushed her way around Maddie.

  Maddie took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ve got somethin’ I promised to do this mornin’, so I gotta get on it. Maybe we can talk later.”

  “I’d like that,” Dani said with a soft smile.

  “Hey, Alice!” Maddie called out, “Can I borrow your wagon to haul Buck’s lift to your place?”

  “Of course, honey. We’re almost through here anyway,” Alice called back.

  BY THE TIME Alice and Dani finished Alice’s booth and walked back to Alice’s trailer to warm up, Maddie was laying under the trailer door using a ratchet to tighten down the bolts that would hold the wheelchair lift firmly in place, using her long legs to push her body farther beneath the trailer. The metal steps that hung below the door were lying on the ground near Maddie’s leg.

  “How the hell are we s’posed to get in the damn trailer?” Alice asked sharply.

  “Lift your leg higher and pull yourself in,” Maddie answered with a chuckle.

  “I’m not six-feet-tall like you, dummy. These old stumpy legs don’t cut it, smart-ass,” Alice chided.

  “Okay, okay. Hang on and I’ll lift you into it,” Maddie said as she started scooting from under the trailer.

  “Besides, unless you want to starve to death, I have to get inside,” Alice said.

  Maddie stood up and brushed her hands over her butt to knock off loose grass and dirt. She bent over and scooped Alice up, setting her inside the trailer. “Happy?” she asked.

  “Thrill of my life, sugar. If you see Buck, tell him lunch will be ready in about an hour.”

  “Okay,” Maddie said before turning to Dani. “Need a lift into the trailer too?” she asked.

  “No thanks. I can make it,” Dani answered, shaking her head. As Dani brought a leg up to enter the trailer, her jeans stretched tightly across her ass. Maddie swallowed hard, the memory of running her hands over Dani’s soft, yet firm ass clear in her mind. Her fingers twitched and she quickly crawled beneath the trailer again.

  In less than an hour, Maddie wiggled her body into the open again, opened the trailer door, and reached inside to flip a switch she’d installed earlier. She watched the lift slide smoothly out and lower to the ground before rising slowly until it was level with the trailer door. She flipped a second switch to reverse the process. The only thing left was to weld the folding steps for the trailer back in place.

  She placed a final weld, flipped up her mask, and turned the torch off.

  “I think your weldin’ technique is gettin’ better,” Buck said. “Very neat work, kid.”

  “Thanks. Wanna try out the lift?” she asked with a smile.

  “Sure. I don’t mind livin’ dangerously,” he laughed. Maddie reached inside and flipped the switch again. The lift slid out and lowered to the ground. Buck rolled onto the heavy metal grate that formed the bottom. A minute later, the lift rose slowly. “I gave it a delay in case you needed to take something in with you and had to load it,” she explained.

  “Hadn’t thought about that, but not a bad idea,” Buck nodded.

  As soon as the floor of the lift was even with the trailer door, he called out, “Honey! I’m home! Start gettin’ nekkid!” Peels of laugher from Buck and Alice carried through the surrounding area. Buck looked at Maddie. “Thanks, kid. Think we can rig up a remote for this critter?”

  “I’ll work on it, old man. Give me a day or two. Merry Christmas,” Maddie smiled.

  AFTER A FILLING lunch, Maddie began checking the mechanical parts of the rides and making a few adjustments while Dani went with Alice to continue setting up booths and stringing lights throughout the Midway. It was nearly six in the evening before Maddie saw Dani again, but she had been thinking about her most of the afternoon. They had dinner with Alice and Buck again that evening. They all talked congenially, except Maddie, who remained relatively quiet through the meal. After listening to the other three exchange stories over dinner, Maddie strolled with Dani back to her car to get the present out of the trunk. Then she detoured them toward her trailer.

  “I can make coffee, if you want,” Maddie said with a grin. “I even have cream and sugar,” she added.

  “Oh, now you’ve really hit the big time,” Dani kidded.

  “I’ve missed you,” Maddie blurted out.

  Dani patted Maddie on the chest. “I’ve missed you, too, Maddie.”

  “How ’bout that coffee and we can talk,” Maddie said, the beginnings of discomfort running through her body.

  Dani shrugged. “Okay. Then you can open your present.”

  Maddie unlocked the old trailer and stepped inside before offering Dani a hand. Dani looked around. “This has really changed since the last time I was here,” she said, looking around while Maddie started the coffee.

  Maddie laughed. “Yeah, it’s clean and you can actually see the damn floor,” she huffed. “It’s mine now and as soon as I can get a driver’s license, I’ll tune up Buck’s old truck to tow it with. We’re moving south for the winter. He said he’d tow it for me until I get my license.”

  “Buck and Alice are nice people,” Dani stated.

  “The best,” Maddie agreed. “If you treat them right, they’ll do the same...for anyone regardless of their past.” She took two mugs from the cabinet over the sink and filled them with coffee. She set cream and sugar on the table, followed by the mugs, and sat across from Dani.

  After several minutes without talking, Dani cleared her throat and said, “Open
your present. Hope you like it.”

  “I feel bad,” Maddie said. “I didn’t get you anything.”

  “Just seeing you again and knowing you’re safe and happy, is present enough,” Dani said as she sipped her coffee. “Plus, this is great coffee.”

  Maddie ran her hands over the metallic looking paper and felt the lacey filigreed ribbon. “Seems like a shame to mess up this paper. It’s nice,” she said softly. Dani watched Maddie blink several times. “It’s pretty. This is the first gift I’ve had in...eleven years, maybe more,” she shrugged.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Dani said.

  “I don’t have anything for you though. Doesn’t seem fair.” When Maddie looked at her again, Dani would have sworn she saw tears shimmer in her eyes.

  “You’re killing me, Maddie. Just rip it open,” Dani said, reaching over the table to touch Maddie’s hand.

  Maddie smiled and ran her finger under a flap of the paper, tearing it while Dani yanked the bow that encircled the box. Maddie jiggled the top off and lifted a piece of white tissue paper up to reveal what was inside. Her face filled with wonder as she fingered the buttery soft leather nestled inside. She stood up and lifted the jacket away from the box. “It’s beautiful,” she muttered.

  Dani stood up and took the jacket, holding it for Maddie to slip her arms into. “Perfect fit,” Dani laughed. “Merry Christmas, Maddie,” she said softly against Maddie’s shoulder.

  “Buck will be so fuckin’ jealous,” Maddie grinned. She wrapped her arms around Dani. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Dani ran a hand down the front of the jacket and looked up at Maddie. “It’s warmer than that old denim jacket you have now,” she said.

  “How long will you be here?” Maddie asked as they sat down and she continued running her hands over the leather.

  “I took the week off between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s a long drive home, so I can only stay a couple of days,” Dani shrugged.

  “Was the trip worth it?” Maddie asked.

  Dani nodded and slid a hand across the table to cover Maddie’s. “I had to know you were all right. I couldn’t stand the thought that something else terrible would happen to you because of me.”

  Maddie pulled her hand away and rubbed both hands up and down her thighs. She looked at Dani and began to feel her body tremble. She knew the feeling, but couldn’t stop it as her pervasive fear began to take control. Control. Wasn’t that what she cared about most? Why she refused to allow anyone to get close to her? By giving control to anyone else, she would be giving up a priceless part of herself, perhaps forever. She was allowing her fear to control her. She gritted her teeth and tried to calm her body. But the fear of giving permission for someone to hurt her was so strong that she began to shake. Dani must have noticed because she moved to sit beside Maddie and slipped her arm under the jacket and around Maddie’s waist.

  “What’s wrong, Maddie?” Dani asked tenderly. “You’re shaking, baby.”

  Maddie turned to look at Dani and brought her trembling hand up to trace Dani’s lips. Dani took Maddie’s hand, parted her lips, and sucked Maddie’s fingers into her mouth one at a time. Maddie leaned closer to kiss her firmly. Her hands slipped under Dani’s shirt and ran up and down her back and sides. Dani deepened the kiss and buried her hands in Maddie’s hair eliciting a deep groan.

  When the kiss ended, Maddie clung to Dani. “I love the way you kiss me. Like you own me,” she whispered. “I never wanted anyone to own me before.” She finally leaned away and cupped Dani’s chin, her thumb brushing over her lips. “Is the bedroom still your favorite place to be kissed?” she asked with a devastating smile.

  Dani nodded mutely and stood. She removed her quilted vest and tossed it aside. In the short distance to the bedroom at the rear of the trailer, she shed most of her clothes and stretched out on the bed. To Dani’s surprise, Maddie stared at her almost nude body and began removing her own clothes, leaving only her cotton boxers on. She crawled beside Dani, kissing her way up the length of her body, stopping to lavish attention on her breasts. Maddie brought her leg up to drape it across Dani’s thighs. Maddie pushed her body up, her arms trembling, and stared into Dani’s eyes to read what was hidden there. “I care about you more than I should, Dani,” she said before kissing her deeply again.

  “Please, baby. I need you so much,” Dani begged.

  Sucking up every ounce of courage hidden inside for so long, Maddie embraced Dani and with a shaky voice forced herself to say, “T...touch me.”

  Dani’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? You’re trembling.”

  “I’m af...raid,” Maddie managed, swallowing hard. “Just p...please don’t...don’t hurt me.”

  “I won’t. I promise,” Dani said softly, stroking the side of Maddie’s face, then whispered, “You can trust me, Maddie.”

  Maddie locked her eyes with Dani’s and nodded before burying her face against Dani’s neck, holding her breath. Dani could feel Maddie’s body stiffen as she ran a hand down her back and slowly slipped it beneath Maddie’s boxers to massage her butt, easing the boxers down. “I won’t hurt you, sweetie,” she breathed, hoping to reassure the woman she’d fallen in love with. She drew her hand up to Maddie’s hip and gradually pushed her over onto her back. Maddie tightened her grip on Dani’s arm and stared up at her, the fear obvious in her eyes.

  “You’re so beautiful, Maddie,” Dani said before leaning over her to kiss her as she moved her hand to slide her fingertips along the crease between Maddie’s hip and thigh. Maddie twitched and grunted, grabbing Dani’s hand and pulling it away. “N...no, wait,” she said.

  “Did I hurt you, honey?” Dani asked, alarmed.

  “No,” Maddie said.

  “Good,” Dani said as she moved down Maddie’s body and pressed her face into Maddie’s crotch, inhaling deeply. Looking up at Maddie, she said with a smile, “You smell so sweet. I really want to taste you. Will you let me, sweetheart?”

  Maddie nodded, her knuckles white from gripping the sheet beneath her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I trust you,” she ground out tightly, more to convince herself than anything else.

  She was awed as Dani parted her folds with her tongue and gently stroked the length of her sex for the first time. Her body tensed at the tender touches as she opened her fists and groaned, “Oh, Jesus, baby.” Snapshots flickered through her mind. It always started this way, tender and pleasurable, but the pain began soon afterward making her feel like she was being devoured by a wild animal. Memories of how Shay had touched her before the pain began as she seized Maddie’s engorged clitoris and pinched it painfully between her fingernails until Maddie begged her to stop. The anticipation of that pain coursed through Maddie and she began twisting her body to escape, breathing harder, her chest rising and falling rapidly as the panic and need to flee overwhelmed her. There were no drugs to dull her pain now. She reached down and pushed Dani away, rolling onto her side and drawing her legs up tightly against her heaving chest, gasping to take a breath.

  Dani slowly kissed her way up Maddie’s shivering body to comfort her. Starting at Maddie’s head she began gently scratching her scalp, then lightly stroking down her back until she felt her tight muscles begin to relax. “Talk to me, Maddie. Tell me how to please you, baby,” she whispered while gradually pulling Maddie into her arms.

  Maddie looked up at Dani, her eyes brimming with tears, and managed to rasp, “I...I’m sorry,” before burying her face in Dani’s neck and crying.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, honey,” Dani reassured her as she continued to scratch Maddie’s head and stroke her body tenderly. “I don’t know exactly what Shay or Courtney did to you, but I promise no one will ever hurt you again...I will never hurt you.” She made Maddie look at her. “Do you believe me?” she asked, wiping Maddie’s tears away with her thumb.

  “I...don’t know...if I can ever be...what you need me...to be,” M
addie hiccupped. “I can’t...promise to...make you happy.”

  Dani smiled and stroked Maddie’s face. “However long it takes, you’re worth waiting for. So until you’re ready, let’s just agree to take it one day at a time...one step at a time, okay?”

  “If I kissed you again, that would be a good first step, right?” Maddie asked, looking up at Dani hopefully.

  “I’d like that, baby,” Dani smiled as Maddie’s lips hovered close to hers. “It’s my very favorite step.”

  About the Author

  Originally from the Appalachian region of Eastern Tennessee, Brenda recently moved from Central Texas, where she had lived for over sixty years, to Central Michigan, due to health and to be closer to one of her daughters. She began writing in junior high school where she wrote an admittedly hokey western serial to entertain her friends. Completing her graduate studies in Eastern European history in 1971, she worked as a graphic artist, a public relations specialist for the military and a display advertising specialist until she finally had to admit that her mother might have been right and earned her teaching certification. Following twenty-nine years teaching world history and political science, she retired in 2013. Brenda and her wife, Cheryl, have four grown children and ten grandchildren. They celebrated their twentieth anniversary together in June, 2017 by getting legally married with all their children and grandchildren in attendance. Rounding out their home are a cat named Tootie and a dog, a Puggle named Peanut. When she is not writing, Brenda putters around the house and reads, enjoying her retirement. She may be contacted at adcockb10@yahoo.com and welcomes all comments.

  More Brenda Adcock titles:

  Unresolved Conflicts

  *The long awaited sequel to Redress of Grievances*

  Thomas Wolfe said: “You can’t go home again,” and most of us know that, but it doesn’t mean wanting to recapture just one good memory about our family isn’t powerful enough to draw us back over and over again.