by Brick
“Von!” I heard again.
Turning and shifting against the sheets, my name being shouted again had me drowsily opening my eyes. Face pressed against my pillow while I lay on my side, I realized that I was staring into the teary-eyed gaze of Shanelle. She sat on her knees in bed with her hands against my arm hovering over me. The panic and worry in her voice had me waking up further.
“Your hands are bleeding, baby,” she softly said coming to me to gently take my hands. “Von, you dug your fingers in your palms.”
“I fucked up with Cory and Inez, baby, I really did,” was all I said as she took care of me and I watched her in my pain.
* * *
An hour later, I sat downstairs, staring at Mama’s picture again in my thoughts. My elbows rested on my knees. My hands pressed together resting against my lips. I stared at Mama’s face, ready to speak to her until I heard someone enter the parlor. Looking toward him, I saw it was Uncle Snap. That hurt was still in his eyes.
I had my reasoning for what I did, in keeping the truth from him. I hoped he understood it when I shared it with him, but if he didn’t, there wasn’t shit I could do. I honestly loved the man like my father. Hell, he was the only father I knew. My real old man was so old and inactive there wasn’t shit he could do for me as a child. There was no love lost there. But if anything happened to Uncle Snap, especially with Mama gone, I’d be a broken man. People always thought Shanelle was my weakness, and she slightly was, but in reality my family as a whole was my weakness, with Uncle Snap at the lead.
“Uncle . . .” I started.
He stepped forward ready to talk but Jojo walked by and it stopped me.
“Later,” I said to him and he bobbed his head taking a seat where I motioned. “Jojo, hol’ up, baby brother. Come here for me please.”
The sound of his kicks squeaking in the kitchen let me know he had heard me. I knew Naveen was in there as well, because I heard him mumbling to himself about someone eating all the grape jelly. It seemed to me that today would be a good moment to have my talk.
“Naveen, you too, bro,” I yelled then sat back.
I could see Shanelle peeking on the steps. She looked good in her college-cut shorts, tank, hair pulled up in a bun, and barefoot. I gave her a nod and she sat on a step keeping herself inconspicuous.
Once my brothers walked in and saw Uncle Snap, I knew how they both shifted on their feet that they knew a major discussion was about to go down. Taking a seat in front of us, Uncle Snap set his Mason glass down, which had crushed ice and water in it this time, then gave both young men hugs and daps.
Shifting on the edge of my chair, I looked between the both of them with my fingers pressed against my lips. “We lost Cory and we lost Inez. I’m being real honest here for you both because I realized from what they said that I haven’t been here for any of you all like I should have, like I thought I was. I was to start off by saying I’ve messed up deeply and I’m sorry. Their deaths are on me. I should have been more focused and kept them here, or at least kept them better protected.”
Disappointed at myself, my gaze fell on Jojo and I exhaled. “See, I didn’t hold up to my responsibility as a brother in that and I let the whole family down while sending Cory and Inez to their deaths. Mama wouldn’t put up with how I acted, I know it.”
I sat quietly swallowing down my pain, and when I saw Jojo open his mouth, I held up a hand. “One more thing. I want you all to know I’m here. I’m willing to open myself right now and show you all that I’m not perfect. Not in how I am individually as a man but also how I’ve handled my relationship with Shanelle. Cory was a good man, who had demons that just ate at him and seeped out. We all fall—”
“I was with my birth mom when Mama was killed,” Jojo interrupted. He reached up to slide his glasses off and slid the palm of his hand over his face. “She had hit me up and asked to see me. So I was with her.”
Naveen shifted to the side to stare at Jojo. Before I could even ask why, Naveen handled it for me. “Why? How y’all even link up, man? Where the hell did that come from?” he said incredulous. His fingers dug into his legs to keep his cool, as he usually did. Navy waited for a response shaking his head. “How she find you, bro?”
Water leaked from Jojo’s dark eyes. He exhaled, shaken, and dropped his head back looking at the ceiling. “It happened about a year ago. I was working at Subway, right, and she came in. Said she’d been looking for me for years and that she just needed to see me. At first I didn’t know it was her, didn’t believe her, so I tried to ignore her. When she showed up at my school I got scared and decided to look up my file.”
Damn, echoed in my mind. Our files were sealed. We all were wards of the state so getting into our files could be hard, but with talents like Jojo and Naveen it could be simple as one, two, three.
“That’s what you had me breaking into? The state files of your background info?” Navy asked with wide eyes.
“Yeah. All I needed was Mama’s info and I took that from her room and found out about her. Learned that woman was my birth mom. I decided to talk with her after that since she kept coming to my job. When I quit Subway, I used that time to spend it with her. She’s my mom. I wanted to know why she . . .” Jojo broke off in his words.
I knew that he was reflecting on when we found him and it broke my heart. Standing I walked to him and pulled him into a hug. I understood that Navy didn’t get what was going on and it wasn’t my place to share that.
“I can’t . . . I . . .” Jojo dropped his head and shook it. “Fuck. So that day, I was with her. She was sick, like, she kept asking me to get her some drugs, so I got it. I stole some from Cory and Inez and gave it to her with the stuff I was making, just so she would talk with me. That was the day Mama died. My birth mom was ODing and I had keep her chill; that’s what took my time. I’m so sorry.”
“All because you wanted to know what?” Navy asked standing. Pain made Navy’s voice crack and he stepped back looking at us as if we were crazy. “Mama died so you could feed your junkie mama dope?”
“Hey, chill with that, Navy,” I said. “You don’t know the whole story.”
“Fuck the whole story. Mama died so he could . . .”
I gave a quick glance at Jojo and he gave me a nod of the head letting me know it was time for Navy to know.
“So he could find out why the fuck she sold him to a pedophile old woman!” I shouted. “I found him in some bushes, covered in bruises and his own shit. Just like you, Navy. Just like you! He ran and I found him.”
Navy’s mouth fell open in shock. He stared at Jojo then dropped his head in shame.
It was then that Uncle Snap spoke up while I stood between both young dudes. “Chill out!” he shouted breathing in and out.
When I saw his Mason jar ready to fall, I dropped low to catch it from breaking, making it in time. As I held it like a football in my palm, being careful with it, I shifted on my knee where I kneeled and looked up at my uncle in confusion at his sudden rage.
The old man walked past me then stopped and abruptly turned to reach a hand out as a means to help me up. Though we all had been living in agony over Mama’s death, it was clear that we forgot how close Uncle Snap was to Mama. I suddenly felt ashamed. Grief and agony made the whites of Uncle Snap’s eyes turn red while he spoke.
“This house was a refuge for you all. Claudette had her reasons in shaping you all to step in her world, but the real reason why she chose you all was to help you all and heal you all. All of you came from the same types of backgrounds. She and I saw a lot of shit in the streets, but it was because her husband dealt with these very same demons that she chose you all.” Taking the jar, he walked with it and gently set it near Mama’s pictures.
“You all were just little boys and girls suffering physical, sexual, spiritual, emotional abuse. Scrapping and fighting. None of us, including you all, had a chance in life. Claudette, her old man, and I knew what that was like and chose to use our street smarts to pu
ll us out of our hell. Claudette fought to do the same for you all so, Jojo, my boy, you started out with good intentions that turned a situation bad.”
“I’m sorry, Uncle. She called me asking for help. I thought I’d make it to Mama on time. I’m sorry,” Jojo said, hurt.
My palms ran down my face. “You did what you thought you should. It’s not your fault, Jojo.”
“If I had left her alone though—” he started.
“Then you’d be hurting over her dying and not getting your answers,” Navy solemnly stated. He moved back to where Jojo was, pulled him up by his forearm, and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry, baby brother. I’m sorry. I know how that goes, and I was just . . . I am just angry.”
I watched Jojo slowly wrap his arms around Navy and they hugged it out.
“Claudette only wanted the best for you all. I know she’s not mad at your choice, Jojo, not at all,” Uncle Snap said.
Walking up to him, I whispered my own apology to him, and he gave me a nod of understanding. We moved to the side to give Jojo and Navy some minor privacy to patch things up and I exhaled.
“I know this isn’t the time, but I need to move forward and hit up the next phase of my removal plan. We don’t have time to be idle on that end. Mama wanted to be a force of nature; well, I gotta be that, Uncle. I know you think that I’m being reckless, but there’s a method to the madness.”
Bowing his head, Uncle Snap’s jaw clenched then he blew out steam. “Yeah, I get that. Been in this game too long not to get that, but I still say in your force of action, keep smart. Not all the old ways are bad, nephew. Not all the old ways need to be erased; respect the past so you can do better in the future.”
“I’m trying to do that. Trust in me, a’ight? We have to be moving, and remind them that Mama’s legacy isn’t gone. That’s why I went after the Irish like I did. I had to for her, and I had to for Cory and Inez. Their deaths can’t be in vain. None of this shit can be in vain. So we move on to the next phase. A’ight?” I clapped a hand on his shoulder and locked eyes on him.
“What did you do?” he asked me again.
My shoulders slumped in defeat as I gave in with a gentle sigh. “I used only what was owed us and it was given freely in honor of Mama’s memory and what y’all lost in the past.” Uncle Snap’s eyes widened, and I gave him a hug like the son he always wanted. “I had to do it and do it without you. This was no disrespect to you, on my word. Everything I do, it’s with reason and to be steps ahead of everyone else just like Mama. Trust that.”
“Shit, nephew. Shit.” He held me tight and stepped back so we could look at each other like the bosses we were.
Shit was hard, and the pain was real, but this needed to happen. We now had to share this with the family and prepare for more pain.
After our talk with Jojo, the week ticked by slowly when we spoke to everyone about Jojo’s truth. It was hard for the rest of the family on top of our grief over Cory and Inez, but we all vowed to focus and give them honor. So it went like this: we all stood in the parlor dressed so clean that it would put many fashion houses to shame. I looked around my family. Emotion was high that I knew that any one of us could break down in tears at any second at mention of Mama, Inez, and Cory. I decided to talk around that and bring in some minor business beforehand.
I walked up to where Shanelle was fixing Jojo’s outfit. Baby brother stood in all white from head to toe. The only color he wore was his red bow tie. Red was one of Mama’s favorite colors. We all were readying for the memorial we had put together for Cory and Inez.
“Everyone. Before we head out, I want to lay out some clear guidelines, now that we’re running the Syndicate. This is not perfect, again, I’m still learning our places, but for now, what I need from you is simple,” I started, looking around at everyone’s faces.
Uncle Snap, in his all white but wearing a red cap, came from where he stood on the stairway talking to one of the Forty Thieves on his cell phone. They were going to be our escorts to the memorial. He gave me a respectful nod of support and put his cell away.
“So everyone can know the roles I’m giving out is congruent with the Syndicate’s growth and what I’m learning as leader. So, yeah. Melissa.” I glanced at my sister.
She was off near the door, staring out of the window in thought. Standing with her ankles crossed leaning against the corridor wall, she wore a body-contouring white dress with red heels. Her hair fell over her shoulders in soft curls with a large brimmed hat upon her head.
When she looked my way, I continued. “Lissa. As we already told you, and we all know in this family, you’re mad good with crunching numbers and money. We’re going to be trusting in you to go over Mama’s account info, insurance, and whatever else moneywise to make sure we are good financially. So, your office will be out of the club that we have you running as our clean cover. Good with that?”
Melissa pushed away from the door. “I got it. I mean, that’s what I’m good for right? And you don’t need any more problems so the family will be protected.”
“Thank you, baby girl,” I said watching how slightly off she sounded. “Whatever work you do, we will always come around and keep you safe as well. Which leads to security.”
Exhaling, I turned my attention to Lamont. He sat on the armrest of one of the old, big wingback chairs in the parlor. His gaze seemed to be focused on Mama’s picture, as I moved his way. He wore white jeans that were slightly baggy, held by a red belt with a big buckle that he tucked his white button-down shirt into.
“Monty,” I said to get his attention while reaching out to rest my hand against his shoulder.
“Yeah, Von? What up?” He turned to look at me and I could almost view the ghosts that reflected from his eyes.
I understood it; today was a difficult day. “Monty. You’ve been this family’s protection for years. You know how you love to fight right?”
He laughed as I did, then nodded. “What about it?”
“While you do your training to box, this is what I need from you. As of today, you are the manager of the Forty Thieves. Right now, I know I won’t put it all on you. You have to learn the ropes of what it’ll take as well as train with them. But check it, as you learn with me, I want you to eventually be my head of security. Cory would have shared that with you but . . .”
“Yeah, I get it and this is dope. I’ll learn what I need to make sure you’re secure and they learn my type of style of fighting, brah,” Monty reassured me.
“I appreciate you, fam,” I said, reaching out to give him a brotherly hug and squeeze of his shoulders.
“Naveen and Jojo.” I let go of Monty then walked up to our two youngest members of the family. Navy stood on the opposite side of Shanelle.
He sported white kicks and a similar outfit to Jojo. His long hair was pulled up on his head in a bun, and the red he wore was the watch on his wrist. “You two are our hearts, the babies with gifts that can serve us well. But, for now, I just need you both to finish up school. Once that happens, I’ll introduce you both to the rest of your roles okay? Just trust in me on that and I promise. I got you both.”
“It’s cool,” Jojo said shrugging. “You got us on the Mist design anyway.”
“Yeah, I have some mechanics to tweak with it anyway,” Navy added with a slightly unsure tone to his voice.
“Much appreciated then,” I said giving them a warm smile.
Shanelle came my way when I turned my attention to her. I took her outreached hand, then I leaned down to kiss her. “Baby, you know the deal. You’re my right, but since you’re mean with the guns, I’ll need you to work with Monty in regard to weapon distribution. I also want you to look in on the other legal businesses Mama had like you did with the club. I want you to put your business savvy to good use and figure out how to take more of our illegal activity and make it legal. On top of that, I need you to pick up where Inez and Cory would have been, but we’ll figure this shit out as we go. For now, everyone, just k
now, we are all we got. We can’t keep breaking like we are; otherwise, the enemy comes in and destroys all that Mama worked for with us.”
“Damn right,” Uncle Snap chimed in from the back.
He signaled to me that it was time to go, and I turned to glance at Mama’s pictures. “We lost so much. I haven’t held us down like I should, but at the end of the day here we are. Let’s go honor our family and show the love Inez and Cory needed.”
As we finished handling our family business, it then led to our memorial for Cory and Inez. We all stood side by side in white staring at the smiling faces of Cory and Inez, next to Mama’s picture. Uncle and Mama were right. Our intentions were good for all three of them, but in the end it had turned foul. As I laid my flowers out for my lost family, I wished that there were some Irish left so that I could personally pour their blood over the graves before me in revenge.
Chapter 24
Shanelle
Things weren’t perfect in our lives, but we were getting better. There wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t think of Cory and Inez. I missed them both, but Inez’s words that I only cared about Javon stung. There was a strong churning in my stomach each time I replayed her words because I was guilty. I was so in love with Javon that sometimes he was the only person who mattered and, in that sense, we’d failed our younger brothers and sisters. It would never happen again; that I was sure of.
“So how are you, sis?” Melissa asked me. She looked at her watch then glanced at her cell before looking back at me. She had been busy setting the club up and, I had to admit, she was doing the damn thing. The grand opening was in two weeks and she had shit set up so perfectly neither Javon nor I could find anything to complain about.
