by Ivy Rose
The man that they call the referee only really had one job, which was to make sure you didn't scream too loud as to bring attention if you were killed.
Blows his whistle and the crowd around us goes wild.
Dominic
Silas is looking too seriously hurt.
He is after my blood. I can feel his thirst for it. Everyone else I have fought just wanted the money, but Silas wants to cause damage, to kill.
I am getting close.
These fights are different from what is on television. There are no rounds or times out, no discussions with coaches or a fucking team behind you.
It ends when one of the fighters is not able to get up. Normally, they tap out or are fucking knocked out. That can last an hour or two seconds, but I already know that this fucker isn't going to go easy on me. He wants me to suffer.
He comes at me again, and this time brushes my shoulder.
I come back and protect myself with my forearms.
The crowd is screaming louder than I have ever heard them.
I ignore it and go in for my first clip. I go left, right, and left again, knocking him in the chest.
It throws him back, and a shadow of doubt passes across his black eyes.
The audience screams. This is what they came out for.
One of his pack breaks free, whispering in his ear.
Silas’ face pales before new energy releases in him. The fighter shakes him off and comes forward again, this time aiming for my face, my nose.
Blood spouts across the floor and my face. I quickly wipe my nose and dodge as he comes for me again. This guy is trying to fucking kill me.
Darting right, this time ready for him, his fighting pattern becoming more obvious. I jump back on my left foot, but I’m blinded at that moment by a bright white light, something I’ve seen in the ring before.
Fuck. Not now. Please, beautiful, not fucking now. I can't afford to lose tonight, not when I’m this close.
I can't resist looking. I could never resist her.
I let him take a rib punch. As I bend over, protecting my body, I peer from underneath my arm.
Heart shaped face, long dark hair.
The next punch takes my breath away and I know I’ll be pissing blood for a fucking week. I go down on one knee and feel the impact of his force as he reigns down punch after punch on my body.
I am close to his knee when he brings it back, wanting to finish me off with a kick to the face.
Dominic, get up! Get up!
At the sound of her voice, I bounce up from the floor, my arm hanging loosely as I dart out of his way, blocking the next punch and looking back up at the crowd to capture another glance of her. Standing in here place is Lettie.
I don't know how she got here, or how the fuck she knew of this place or that I’m even here.
She glances to the left of me, her green eyes going wide. “Your left!” she screams, and it’s her voice I hear above the crowd.
I duck, his swing whipping through the air beside me so close I can hear it.
I look back one more time to see her still standing there. I also notice that his pack has seen her. A reaction I’ve never felt before comes over me, invading everything I am and flying through my veins.
I bounce on my feet and dodge the next punch. I know his pattern now.
He comes forward with his fist, smirking, his teeth red from my earlier hit.
As he comes toward me, throwing punches, I block each one. The pain I felt earlier doesn't even register as I keep Lettie in my vision.
He backs me into a corner with nowhere to go. I’m against the ropes.
His punches come hard and furious and my vision reddens from blood.
I think about my life, my shitty parents,
My beautiful wife, my daughter, Juliet.
I’m not failing them, not fucking it up again.
I swing, my fist hitting nothing but air. I bring my fist back and throw it forward. This time, I hit my mark. I collide with his throat and he chokes, winded, and falls to his knees out of shock.
There, I bring my foot up and slam it into his face. Blood covers the floor. I'm sure there are pieces of teeth mixed in with the blood. He falls to the ground and I continue kicking, much to the crowd’s excitement. I whack his stomach, sending the air out of his body.
I bend to my knee, bringing his head up to slam the last blow and take him from this painful life. Avery’s face flashes before me and stops me and I can’t do it. I can't send him to hell. Instead, I bring my good arm back sending down a blow that makes his eyes roll, but I know he’s still alive.
I stagger to my feet as the money rains into the ring like confetti.
The announcer holds my hand up, congratulating me and the crowd all screams my name, but I don't care.
Benny comes running over, slapping me on the back, both his hands full of green. “Fuck, man, it was like you were fighting your own demons out there.”
I don't say anything, because in a way, I was.
I head straight for the crowd.
Some slap my shoulders in congratulations, others grasped me just to touch me.
I head for the spot where I saw Lettie, but when I get there she’s nowhere to be found.
A man holding a handful of dollar bills grins at me.
“Did you see a girl here?” I shout, as the crowd was still wild. “Dark hair?”
The man grins, gesturing to the back of the crowd and I see a mane of dark hair pushing through the crowd.
I run after it.
Lettie is just about to hit the back alley when I step in her way.
Those green eyes widen in surprise, then dart over me, noting each cut and all the blood. She seems to check that I’m ok, but her eyes finally catch mine and I lift any eyebrow.
“Want to explain what you’re doing here?” It comes out cold. I’m pissed she put herself somewhere like this.
She glares at me, mimicking my stance. “I just came to see if the word on the street was right.”
I tilt my head, leaning on the wall as my head starts to spin. “Yeah, what's that?”
She lifts her chin. “That you fight.”
I stumble. The adrenaline is wearing off.
Grabbing me. “Come on, my car is this way.”
I follow her, unable to argue as my vision doubles. I fall into the car as she tries to open it while holding on to me to make sure I don't hit the deck.
I feel the cold leather against my skin and lay my head back, closing my eyes.
I hear her gasp and I roll my head to the side. “Avery, beautiful.”
She shakes her head. “No, I'm Lettie, Dominic. You're hurt, really hurt.” Her lip trembles.
I snort. “This is nothing. This will heal.”
She doesn't say anything as she starts the car up.
She takes my keys and opens my door.
I fall onto a soft sofa and groan as pain catches my breath. I feel a cold cloth against my skin and I hiss as it goes over one of my open wounds.
“Sorry, you’re going have to shower. There’s too much blood.” Her voice hitches again, like it’s upsetting her to see me this way.
I try to stand, and her hand automatically goes out to reach for me. “I'm ok, kid. Just battered and bruised is all. All this will fade. It’s what's inside that’s really fucking painful.”
She sucks in a sharp breath. “You really loved her, didn't you?”
I swipe my head to the side. I shake my head. “I didn't love Avery.”
Her lips tighten, ready to call me on my bullshit, but I hold my hand up in surrender.
“What I feel for Avery, love isn't a strong enough word. My beautiful is my reason, my everything.”
Lettie’s eyes glass, her jaw ticking. “What about your daughter? Everyone said you left her behind.” She slams her mouth shut like she can't believe she said it.
I make my way to my bathroom. Pulling open the door, I look back at Lettie and I let the hard stone
mask drop. “I’m keeping her monsters away, just like I promised her mama I would. I've read her a story every night, even though she has never heard one of them. I paid for her dance classes, even though I have never seen her dance. I made sure she had a pink bike just like Avery and I talked about. Juliet is living our dreams, even if I can't.”
Tears roll down her cheeks. “If you love her so much, why haven't you ever gone to her? Why don't you go now? It's never too late, Dominic.”
I see the hope in her eyes, the innocence. She had a good life.
“My baby girl will never know the darkness I live in. I couldn't protect her mama, my Avery, but I will die revenging her and keeping Juliet safe, even if she hates me for it. It will be my honor as her father.”
Her lips tremble. “She doesn't hate you.”
I snort, but I'm curious. I need to know why she thinks that. Doesn't she see the man in front of her? “Why don't you think she hates me?”
She looks shocked at first. Biting her lip the same way she does when she’s nervous. Her eyes lock on me and she stares me right in the eyes. “Because I know Juliet.” She takes an attentive step closer.
“She loves you so fucking much.”
I gasp, stumbling backwards. The air seems to leave my body and wetness hits my hands.
That’s when I realize that, for the first time in twenty years, I’m crying.
The water stream was hot enough to melt my skin right off. The warmth should have eased every sore muscle but it didn’t. I was still tense from her words.
Juliet fucking loves you.
The same words I had heard my beautiful say so many times. Lettie seemed so sure of her words.
I rinse the soap from my hair, ignoring the sting as it slides over my open wounds.
Walking into my bedroom, putting on a pair of sweatpants and a top, the pain in my head throbbing so much I can barely fucking see.
The sound of the coffee machine lets me know Lettie is still here. I hold the door like a damn pussy. I want to ask the questions I haven't dared asked anyone else, because for some screwed up reason and most likely too many hits to the head, I trust the sweet, sassy woman in my kitchen.
She has her back to me. Her hair isn't in its normal bun, but long down her back. For a second, I suck in a breath because she reminds me so much of my girl. That's when all the jigsaw pieces come together. She reminds me of Avery, that innocence that you want to protect but the underlying strength you can see in her eyes. Lettie hasn’t taken any of my shit. From the first day we met, she has given as good as she got.
“Tell me.” I can’t believe I’m saying the words, but as soon as I do it’s like I’m starving and need everything she can give me.
She spins around, surprised to find me there, confusion in her eyes.
I swallow until I can speak past the damn golf ball in my throat. “Juliet…tell me?”
Her eyes widen and she watches me, searching my eyes before finally nodding.
We take a seat at the small table I never use. It came with the apartment.
She places a glass of water and two tablets in front of me and I down them both.
“What do you want to know?”
All of it? Everything? Nothing?
When I don't say anything, she lifts her head up.
“Is she? Is she happy?” Clenching my hands tight to stop the shaking.
She takes a second to think about it before she nods. “Yes.”
I let out a long breath. “Avery—did they tell her about her mom?”
This time, she smiles straight away. “Every day. They told her about her mom, about you.”
“She knows about me?” I gasp my chest tightening.
Her eyebrows draw in. “Yes, why wouldn't she?”
I tighten my jaw. “Because I failed her and my beautiful. They are my everything and I failed them.”
She grabs her coffee, looking down into it. “That's not what Juliet thinks or what's she been told.” She takes a deep breath, looking up at me. “For as long as I can remember, Juliet has been told about her mom and dad, her grandparents, her Aunt Cecelia. When they told Juliet of her parents’ love story, it was like reading the greatest romance a fairytale. It was her favorite bedtime story. She knew how much you wanted her, how much you already loved her, but even if she hadn't, any doubt was erased when she found the book you made with all the plans, all the notes.”
A shuddering breath leaves me. “Avery didn't even know about them. She knew of the dreams we talked about but the rest…that was just for my Juliet.”
She smiles, catching a tear. “They were beautiful. The love you feel for her, she could feel from the pages. She knows, Dominic. She knows how much you love her.”
There’s a tightness in my chest and I rub at it, hard. “Avery—does she know how much my beautiful loved her?”
She places her hand over mine, stopping my fingers from shaking. “Yes, she knows. Her heart hurts because the day that man killed her mom, he stole so much from her. Her heart hurts for a mom that she’ll never get to meet, but she feels around her all the time. But mostly her heart hurts for you.”
I don't understand.
“She knows you’re keeping her monsters away. That book—those promises and dreams you made—she knows how much you wanted her, wanted that life you dreamed of that you never thought you deserved, just for it all to be taken away from you.”
The pain washes over me. I can't take it anymore. I stand, walking back toward my bedroom. I know I won’t sleep but I just need to get away.
“They say she looks just like her, her mom, your wife. I guess in photos she does…”
I stop with my back to her. I can't speak but I know Lettie is not finished.
“But she’s more like you. She loves fiercely, she protects the ones she loves, she’s strong and determined. She has dreams, too. She wants to see you finally get the peace you deserve. She wants you to forgive yourself. But most of all, she wants you to let her love you.”
I shake my head. “Juliet is the sun. I’m the darkness. They don't belong in the same sky.”
She gasps, but Lettie doesn't say anything.
I'm glad.
I didn't dream of my beautiful. Instead, it was a dark headed little girl. It was like I was watching a memory, like a trailer from when she was little to the age she was now, only the last few years, I couldn't see her face.
I hiss as I roll out of bed, my body aching, my hands swollen to nearly twice their size and purple bruises across my torso. I can barely see out of my eye. I stand and the room spins.
I walk into the kitchen. Lettie is gone but my necklace with Avery’s ring in on the table. I pick it up, holding it between my fingers. My wedding day flashes before my eyes. I never thought I would be married, that I could find someone who loved all of me, including my darkness. But Avery, she didn't see my darkness. Her light shined too bright on me, pushing it away. I kiss the ring before fastening it around neck and holding it tightly in my hand.
I love you beautiful.
I hear a phone ring. It’s a different tone and I know it's my burner. I already know who the caller is. I pick it up, swiping the screen.
“Braxton Jameson,” I hiss.
A hard laugh comes through the phone. “Stone cold Dominic Stone.”
I grit my teeth so damn hard. “Do you know who did it?”
I hear a sigh.
“Yes.”
The breath leaves me at once.
“Stone, the answers will change everything you know. You think you’re evil, you’re going after the fucking devil.”
Anger now flows through me, as if my body is alive with it. “You’re one of them.”
He tisks. “Now, Stone, that’s no way to speak to the man who's trying to help you.”
I take in a deep breath. “What's the price?”
I actually hear the bastard smiling.
“Simple. You get the ones who killed your wife, we get to rectify the past.�
�
My life for the killers. I don't hesitate.
“Done.”
Dominic
I make the call and everything is in place. I sit on the bench waiting for her to arrive. I lift my head up as if sensing her.
She searches the park before her eyes land on me. She’s not in her uniform. Instead, she’s in a pair of cut offs and a t-shirt. Her hair hangs loosely around her heart-shaped face, those catlike green eyes taking me in and checking over the bruises that cover my face, as well as the ones she can’t see.
My lips tilt up, making her eyes widen before a smile that lights up her whole face takes over.
She takes a seat opposite me. “Was that a smile? You want to watch out…you have a rep to protect.”
I shake my head, smirking. “Yeah, don't believe everything you hear.”
She grins before she looks me in the eyes. She has a thing for doing that.
“What did you call me for?”
I pull out the envelope from my jacket, sliding it across the table and tapping it with my fingers before letting it go. “Can you give this to her?” Inside holds everything I want to say to my baby girl as well as begging for her forgiveness.
She picks up the envelope and her fingers trace the words, “baby girl.”
I stand up, looking down at Lettie. “You make a good cop, kid. Your father is going to be so damn proud of you.”
She looks back down at the letter. When they return to mine, they glass.
I nod goodbye knowing I won’t see her again.
“Dominic.”
I turn to her voice. As she stands she tilts her head. “Why does this feel like goodbye?” A tear rolls down her cheek and I catch it.
“Don't cry over an old man who doesn't deserve your tears.”
She shakes her head. “You deserve so much.” There so much conviction in her voice.
I knock her chin lightly with my fist and let my eyes say everything I can't, knowing she’ll be able to tell the truth.
We don't say, “see you later,” since we both know we’ll never see each other again.
