by Jerome ASF
“Which is … ?” the Skeleton King asked impatiently. He cast an annoyed look at his man-at-arms. Behind him, Drooler could hear bowstrings straining.
“mmmmThe Spirit of the Taiga has agreed to clear the zombies out of Gravehome so that the witches can have it,” Drooler said, a mask of terror upon his face. “He’s powerful enough to do it, too. They may hold him off for a while, but eventually he will be able to tunnel his way inside. Once he does that, the zombies will have no defense. And once he gives Gravehome to the witches, the zombies will be homeless.”
“You’ll forgive me for not crying a river of tears,” said the Skeleton King sarcastically. “I could do that if I had eyes and tear ducts, you know. But these are the same zombies that have been attacking my people! Lots of skeletons don’t like the zombies right now. Some of them—I’m not saying me—might even be happy that The Spirit of the Taiga was doing this.”
“mmmmBut think about it,” Drooler said. “Why would the witches stop there? You know how evil and covetous they are. Once they have Gravehome, soon they’ll get bored and want something else. They’ll give the Spirit of the Taiga more presents. Eventually, they’re going to want this very temple.”
For a long time, the Skeleton King was silent. He stroked his beard in quiet contemplation. What the zombie was saying seemed unlikely, and the easiest thing for the zombie king to do would be to ignore it. But a tiny seed of doubt began to grow in his hollow head. If what Drooler claimed came true, the Skeleton King would be in a very bad place, indeed. One that there might not be any escape from.
“This is most upsetting to hear, Drooler,” the king eventually said. “Tell me, did you also come here with a plan for solving this problem? I could send my entire army to defend Gravehome, but I’m not sure that would work. As you say, the Spirit of the Taiga is enormous and very powerful. His fur looks so thick that it would absorb skeleton arrows. And his jaws are so big that he can eat a skeleton in a single bite.”
“mmmmHere’s where you’re going to hate me even more,” said Drooler. “I think that maybe the only thing that can save us is … the Bonesword.”
“What?” said the Skeleton King. “The Bonesword is a ceremonial item, not an actual weapon. How could it help us?”
“mmmmThere are several old zombie prophecies surrounding the Bonesword. One of them is that it will protect the zombies in our greatest hour of need. I think this might be it.”
The Skeleton King stroked his beard and thought some more. Sometimes there were situations with no good solutions … only ones that were less bad than others. He was starting to think this might be one of those situations. If he’d had a proper chest, instead of just an empty ribcage, he would have felt a sinking feeling in it.
“This assault on Gravehome,” the king asked. “Has it already begun?”
“mmmmNo, I don’t think so,” answered Drooler. “But I think it will begin very soon. I hoped maybe the skeletons could help. Maybe by helping me find the Bonesword? I gave it to some witches to hide, and I don’t know what they did with it.”
“Lucky for you, I do,” said the Skeleton King.
Drooler opened his mouth to ask how the king knew, but he could tell from his bony expression that the king’s thoughts had suddenly drifted far away.
Specifically, they had drifted to the Fortress of Confusion, and the progress of Bacca and Dug. With a greater intensity than ever before, the Skeleton King hoped that they would find their way through the fortress, save the Bonesword, and return it as quickly as possible. The alternative was growing more and more unattractive with each passing moment.
In the meantime, the Skeleton King knew that he would have to act.
“Drooler, I will muster my armies and ride out to defend Gravehome,” the Skeleton King said. “I do not know if we can defeat the Spirit of the Taiga, but we can at least buy Bacca and Dug some time. The rest, it appears, is going to be up to them.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Deep within the Fortress of Confusion, Dug and Bacca crept slowly down the darkened corridor toward the new room ahead of them.
“mmmmWhat do you think’s going to be in this one?” Dug asked excitedly. “Something else to build? Maybe another play to put on?”
“I dunno,” said Bacca. “I’ll bet it’s definitely something we don’t expect.”
As if to confirm this speculation, they arrived at the doorway and peered inside to see … nothing at all.
It was a totally empty room, with a floor of brown and red sandstone blocks. The ceiling was high, and also sandstone. Sconces holding flaming torches were set into the walls. Across the room, on the opposite wall, was another closed door. It was covered in dust and also appeared magically sealed.
“mmmmDo you think we’re getting close to the Bonesword?” Dug asked as they took a few careful steps inside.
“No, I expect we still have a ways to g—”
Bacca was not able to complete the thought. This was because he had tripped, which was weird because it was a completely empty room and there was nothing for him to trip over. Bacca reached forward with one hand to break his fall, expecting to topple over on the floor. Instead, as he leaned forward, his hand hit something solid. Something—something that felt suspiciously like a block—prevented him from falling completely over. What was even stranger was that there was nothing in front of him! The room was empty! And yet he stood there, leaning against what looked like air!
Dug had a similar encounter with an unseen barrier at the very same moment. Not being as agile as Bacca, Dug fell backward and landed in a heap on the sandstone floor.
“mmmmOuch,” Dug said.
“Are you okay?” asked Bacca, helping the young crafter to his feet.
“mmmmI think so,” replied Dug. “But what in the Overworld is going on here? What did I just run into? There’s nothing in this room!”
“Correction,” said Bacca. “There’s nothing visible in this room.”
“mmmmAre you saying that there are invisible blocks in here?” Dug responded in astonishment. “Oh my goodness! I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Just because you haven’t heard of it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” Bacca reminded him. “There’s all kind of crazy stuff in the Overworld. Crazy, unimaginable, fantastic stuff! I wouldn’t have believed half of it … if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Or, in this case, felt it with my own paws.”
Bacca and Dug began to explore the room with their hands. However impossible it seemed, they quickly agreed that it was true: the room was full of blocks which were completely invisible. Bacca ran his paws from block to block, trying to imagine what bigger structure the blocks were a part of. They were not in orderly rows, but spread out all over the floor.
“Be careful,” Bacca said as they explored. “I don’t know if there will be traps, but something is definitely not right here. Stay cautious.”
Dug felt his way forward, carefully moving to the side each time he encountered an invisible barrier in his path. Following Bacca’s advice, he kept an eye out for anything that looked dangerous—but nothing did. At least as far as he could tell. Dug didn’t really know how to tell if something invisible might be dangerous. He and Bacca were both making this up as they went along.
The blocks seemed to end near the far side of the room. Dug left them behind and kept advancing until he stood in front of the sealed door on the far side. Then he turned back to Bacca, who was carefully rapping on the side of an invisible block with his paw.
“mmmmI made it through!” Dug announced proudly.
“Good work … but I don’t think it’s a maze,” replied Bacca, continuing to knock on the unseen block. “Otherwise, the door probably would have opened.”
Dug thought about this for a moment. The door beside him stayed shut. Dug decided Bacca was probably right.
“This is totally strange,” Bacca concluded, giving the invisible block a final blow with his fist. “I’ve heard of server planes where they have something
called invisible bedrock, and other planes where crafters can use special tricks to make perfectly square, perfectly smooth invisible blocks called barriers, which can’t be moved. But that’s not what’s happening here.”
“mmmmHow can you tell?” asked Dug.
“I’ll show you,” Bacca said.
As Dug watched, Bacca bent over and picked up an invisible block. It must have been very light, because Bacca only needed two fingers. Suddenly, Bacca cocked his arm like a baseball pitcher ready to throw a strike.
“Here you go,” Bacca said. “Catch!”
Though nothing appeared to be in his hand, Bacca made a powerful throwing motion. Right at Dug’s face.
Dug squinted his eyes and held up his hands to protect himself. Moments later something hit him. Something soft and fuzzy. It bounced off Dug’s nose and came to rest a few feet away.
Dug opened his eyes. What had just happened? Whatever it was, it was totally strange. Bacca saw Dug’s astonishment and broke into a fang-y grin. Dug felt his way around the floor until he found the invisible block. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands.
“mmmmWool!” Dug exclaimed. “It’s just a regular block of wool. Except invisible.”
“Exactly,” said Bacca. “These aren’t perfectly smooth and immovable, so they’re not barrier blocks. And they’re not invisible bedrock because … well, they’re not bedrock. At least not all of them. If you feel the blocks carefully with your hands, you’ll realize that there are actually several different kinds.”
Dug began to run his hands over the invisible blocks around him.
“mmmmThat’s crazy,” he said. “You’re right. They’re all different.”
“Some of the blocks will be easy to identify, even if we can’t see them,” Bacca said. “Wool, for example, is pretty much a no brainer. But others will be harder to nail down, even for an expert crafter like me. For example, andesite and diorite feel almost completely alike.”
“mmmmIs identifying all the invisible blocks the trick to opening the door?” asked Dug.
“I’m not sure yet,” Bacca replied. “These tests have all been pretty weird. They’ve also been pretty complicated. I’d be inclined to imagine it might be a little more involved—and a little stranger—than just identifying blocks. Let’s have another look at the Tablet of Mystery.”
“mmmmGood idea,” agreed Dug. “It’s funny … that Skeleton King told us the scratchy writing and pictures on this tablet were stuff that he and the other skeletons could never figure out. But we’ve figured them out every time. The king seems like a smart guy. I wonder why he was so confused by it.”
“Remember, Dug, crafters are special,” Bacca said, taking out the tablet. “We see the Overworld differently than others do. We know things that kings and queens don’t know, and we can do things that kings and queens can’t. A true crafter can look at a creation and instantly know why it looks the way it does. He or she understands how different structures can make people feel, because we craft feelings like a magician crafts tricks. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Dug nodded. He did.
“Also,” Bacca added with a smile, “that Skeleton King is a nice guy, but we might be just a tiny bit smarter than him. Don’t tell him I said that.”
Dug swore he wouldn’t, but secretly he was very pleased.
As they had done twice before, Bacca and Dug began examining every inch of the Tablet of Mystery for clues. Both crafters remained silent for a time.
“mmmmIf you were an ancient skeleton trying to draw a room full of invisible blocks, what would you draw?” Dug eventually asked. “A picture of nothing?”
“That would certainly be easy for the artist,” Bacca quipped. “But I expect what we’re looking for will be a little more complicated. Look for something involving different blocks. At least one of them will be wool.”
Dug and Bacca scoured the Tablet of Mystery some more. There were so many markings, and most made no sense in this context. Others looked as though they had been made by accident, possibly by all the skeletons who had handled the tablet in the thousands of years since its creation. In a few places around the edges, bits had even been chipped away. Both crafters secretly worried that an important piece could be missing.
After several more minutes of silent study, Dug said, “mmmmLook at this little guy.”
His dried-up zombie finger pointed to a spot in the center of the tablet where a stick figure stood inside a box. He looked just like an average stick figure, with one exception. His legs and arms were angled forward, like he was gesturing with both his hands and feet.
“What about him?” Bacca asked. “He’s sort of pointing, isn’t he? Do you think—what?—that he’s pointing at invisible blocks?”
Dug shook his head no.
“mmmmMaybe he’s not pointing,” Dug said. “Maybe his arms and legs are like that because that’s how he stands. Because he’s a sheep.”
Bacca and Dug both looked over at the space nearby where the invisible block of wool rested silently.
“And sheep are made of wool,” Bacca said. “I mean … basically, they are. There’s some meat and stuff, but a lot of it is wool.”
Bacca and Dug agreed that this was an interesting lead. They decided to investigate further. If the stick figure was a sheep, then what was the thing surrounding it?
“mmmmIt’s like a box. Or a rectangle. It’s longer than it is tall, but that doesn’t give me much to go on.”
“Are the sheep’s feet touching the floor of the box?” Bacca asked.
Dug looked closely.
“mmmmNo,” Dug said. “Raised a little bit. Like it’s floating.”
“Or standing on something,” Bacca said.
Dug looked up from the Tablet of Mystery and stared at Bacca. The zombie’s expression made it clear that he didn’t understand.
“Maybe we’re going about this in the wrong order,” Bacca said, drumming his claws. “Maybe instead of starting with the tablet … we need to start with the blocks.”
“mmmmHow?” asked Dug. “I thought we already did that.”
“Maybe we have to build a structure with a sheep inside it,” said Bacca. “We don’t know what kind of structure, but different kinds of structures are made from different kinds of crafting materials. So let’s figure out the crafting material we have, and then figure out what kind of structure it could build. We’ll work backwards.”
“mmmmOkay,” Dug said. “It will be hard to figure out what some of these blocks are when we can’t see them. Like you said, they’re not all as squishy as wool.”
“Don’t worry,” Bacca replied. “I’ve got some ideas for how we can do it.”
They started by gathering all the invisible blocks together in a pile. To do this, Bacca and Dug began walking carefully across the seemingly empty room, standing side-by side. They covered every inch of floor, like they were mowing a lawn. Whenever they hit an invisible block, they moved it to a designated spot beside the magically sealed door. They encountered several different kinds of blocks as they did this. Some were heavy and some were light. Some were smooth and some were rough.
“Don’t worry about figuring out what they are right now,” Bacca said as Dug held an invisible block near his ear and shook it. “We’ll do that when we’ve got them collected.”
Soon, the entire room was cleared. All the blocks were in an invisible pile.
“mmmmWhew,” said Dug. “That was a lot of work.”
“If you want to be a good crafter, you have to learn to like working hard,” Bacca said. “We’re just getting started. Next, we’re going to sort the blocks into three categories: hard, soft, and something else.”
“mmmmOkay,” said Dug. “But what’s ‘something else’?”
“You’ll know it when you feel it,” Bacca told him with a grin.
The two crafters began grouping the blocks by the way they felt—hard with hard, and soft with soft. Most were indeed hard, but a few were
soft and squishy. Others—as Bacca had predicted—were hard to classify.
“mmmmI’m putting this in the ‘something else’ pile,” Dug said, holding up an invisible block. “It’s hard but not solid. I can put my hand through parts of it. See?”
“Good,” said Bacca. “We’ll go back to it later.”
“mmmmThis one also goes in the same pile,” Dug said, holding up another. “It’s pointy.”
“Put it on the pile,” Bacca said, and Dug did.
When they were finished sorting, Bacca saw—or rather felt—that they had many hard blocks of crafting material, a few blocks in the ‘something else’ category, and just a handful that were soft.
“Good, good,” Bacca said, standing with his arms crossed proudly. “We’re making progress. Now let’s go category by category, and try to classify them further. I’m hoping that we don’t have to guess all of them correctly, only enough to get a general idea of the structure we have to build.”
“mmmmCan we start with the soft blocks?” Dug asked. “There are the fewest number of them.”
“Good thinking,” said Bacca.
Dug approached the invisible pile of soft blocks, and began to carefully investigate them with his rotting hands.
“mmmmFive blocks total in this category,” Dug said, setting them before Bacca.
“Three are clearly wool,” Bacca said, giving each a squeeze. “These other two are some kind of meat. I’m going to go ahead and guess mutton.”
“mmmmHow can you be sure?” Dug asked.
“Take a taste if you like,” Bacca said. “Me, I prefer raw fish. Pretty much exclusively.”
“mmmmI only eat people,” Dug said.
“Touché. So we’ll just have to trust my instincts,” Bacca said. “And I think we’re supposed to build a sheep out of it. Maybe like a statue.”
“mmmmI’ve never made a sheep before,” said Dug. “That will be a fun change of pace.”
Bacca moved down the line to the pile of invisible blocks that fell into the “something else” category. It was the second-largest pile.
“Okay,” Bacca said. “Let’s see what we have here.”
