by Amy Patrick
“You’re going to be fine.” Asher took my hand. “The good news is first babies usually take a long time—even in humans. We will get you back to Altum in time. Try not to worry.”
“Where’s Nox?” Asher asked Lad. In opposition to his words, his tone was worried. And I could have sworn he added some silent comments directly to Lad.
“He’s already on it,” Lad told him. “Communicating with the captain and the pilot.”
Nox returned, confirming the pilot was preparing the jet to take off as soon as we arrived. “There should be a cab waiting for us at the marina,” he said. “And Culley’s called the police. He also swayed the yacht captain to tell them everything about Falene’s plans. Are we ready to move? We may just make it out of here before the squad cars arrive.”
I nodded. “I’m ready. Just help me get up.”
I had another contraction on my way to the cab, but I managed to keep walking.
When the cab driver got a look at me and the way Lad held me, guiding me into the back seat, his face went pale. “Hospital?”
“No. Airport,” Nox said.
“But… if she’s gonna have a baby… hey now, I don’t want no baby being born in the back of my cab. That happened one time, you know. Cost me a fortune in lost time and cleanup.”
Nox shoved a wad of money at him, and based on the cabbie’s instantaneous attitude change, some Sway as well. “Airport. Fast.”
In under an hour we were boarding the private jet. Lad reclined my chair as far as it would go and buckled me in.
“Are you okay? Need anything?”
“Do you think saol water helps with labor pains?” I asked, half-joking.
“Let’s find out.”
He pulled out a flask and held it to my lips. I took a sip, enjoying the warm, bubbly sweetness of it, as always. And as always, I felt good—really good.
“I think it’s working,” I said. But then another round of tight, aching pain stole my breath.
After it passed, I said, “Um… that’s a no, sadly. I guess nothing but an epidural can cancel out labor pains. Am I going to get one of those, by the way?”
Asher turned around from the row ahead of us and winced, his tone apologetic. “I’m afraid that’s not covered under the Elven health plan. There are some things Wickthorne can do when we get there, I think. Can you hang in there?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“I’m so sorry. Hopefully Wickthorne will be able to stop your labor altogether. That would be the safest thing for all concerned. Nox told the pilot to push it. He thinks he can get the flight time down to two hours and twenty-three minutes.”
I nodded. “Okay. I can do anything for two hours and twenty-three minutes.”
Lad squeezed my hand. “That’s my girl.”
When the plane was in the air, I spoke to Lad mind-to-mind, both for privacy and also to assure total honesty.
What else did Asher say to you? I know he told you something. Don’t try to deny it.
He patted my hand. I think you should rest. Maybe try to go to sleep.
Yeah right. If he’d ever had a contraction, he wouldn’t say that.
I don’t want to sleep. I want to know what’s going on. What is it that the two of you don’t want to tell me?
His lips flattened into an unwilling line, but he answered. It’s true that inducing can prolong the actual labor, which in one way is good—it gives us time to reach Altum.
But?
But… prolonged labor is riskier for the mother. It can overtax the uterus and increase the chance of hemorrhaging. The uterus is a muscle. There’s only so long it can contract. And Elven births are complicated to begin with.
I nodded. I remember Wickthorne telling me that. He went over all the risks—hemorrhage, brain bleeds, blood clots, lung, kidney, or liver failure, a postpartum heart attack—all fairly rare in human women but quite common in Elven mothers.
Lad’s face tightened in a pained expression that made me rush to add, I’m not all Elven, though. Maybe it’ll be more like human labor and delivery for me. We got pregnant way faster than it usually takes Elven couples, right?
Yeah, well, now I’m not sure it was such a good thing.
Lad. How can you say that?
I’m afraid, he admitted, squeezing my hand. Afraid of losing you, just when I’ve found you. I won’t be able to survive if something happens to you.
I’m not leaving you, I promised him and reached up to stroke his cheek and jaw. I’m going to be around driving you nuts for eternity. And we will watch this baby grow up. Maybe even more than one.
His eyes widened, and he tossed his head to the side as if even the thought of it was too much to handle right now.
I’ll be grateful when this one is born, and you are safe and healthy. That’s more than enough for me.
I slid my hand down to the back of his neck and massaged his nape, which was hard as stone. I felt worse for him in that moment than I did for myself. My glamour told me he was in more pain than I was, though his was strictly emotional. And Lad was right. If the baby and I both made it through this—when we made it through this—I’d be grateful for what I had.
Unfortunately, the contractions continued and grew closer together. By the time we landed in Oxford and got on the highway to Deep River, they were a minute and a half apart and much, much stronger. And pain? Yeah, I’d never felt anything like it and never wanted to ever again. Asher checked on me periodically, his face looking more and more worried each time.
“When we get there,” Lad said to Nox, “I want you to run ahead and tell Wickthorne what’s happening. You’re the fastest of us. He needs to be ready to take immediate measures to stop her labor.”
Asher spoke up, sounding hesitant. “Um… I think that might be impossible at this point. She’s nine centimeters dilated.”
“What does that mean?” Lad demanded.
“It means another centimeter and she’ll be ready to start pushing. I said we’d be home in time for her to deliver—it might be a race to the finish line.”
Lad’s face went ghostly pale. “Okay.” Then he said it again, as if bracing himself for the end of the world. “Okay.”
“The bright side is, like I said, it usually takes a lot longer. This way maybe it’s putting less stress on Ryann’s body because it’s moving faster.”
Lad nodded again. “Good. That’s good.”
I couldn’t say with any certainty what was said next, or even who did the talking, because another contraction hit me, and it was so powerful it wiped my mind clean of all thoughts other than how much pain I was in.
When it ended, I looked around to find we were in the secluded woodland lot near Altum where those of us who used cars stashed them before walking the rest of the way to the secret underground kingdom.
The face of its king was a twisted mask of misery. Tears streaked down Lad’s cheeks. He swept my hair away from my sweating brow. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting. What can I do?”
“It’s not that bad,” I lied, forcing a wan smile.
“We’re almost there.”
“I don’t think I can walk,” I told him. Even between contractions I felt terrible—achey, sick, and exhausted.
“Nox is going to run ahead while Culley and Asher and I carry you. It’ll end soon. Wickthorne will know what to do.”
I nodded, breathing hard as I felt another painful wave rolling up on me. It crested, and I lost awareness of my surroundings. When the pain fog cleared, I saw the treetops bobbing overhead. Why were they moving like that?
Oh, they weren’t moving. I was. I was being carried through the forest. Lad must have been behind me gripping beneath my arms because Culley held my legs. Asher ran along beside us.
“It won’t be long now,” he said to Lad in a worried tone. “This baby is coming—soon. Lad, this isn’t good. I think something might be wro—”
“Here we are,” Lad announced loudly, interrupting Asher. “We’ll carry y
ou down the tunnel now, Ryann. Nox says Wickthorne is ready and waiting at the bottom.”
I wanted to answer him, to say “Okay,” or “Thank sweet baby Jesus,” or “Somebody get me a freaking epidural for the love of all that is good,” but all I could do was scream. The pain was back again, much worse than before, and with it came the terrible certainty that Asher’s unfinished statement was true. Something was wrong.
My head hurt, and I was losing consciousness. As my vision went dark and the worried voices around me faded into whispers, there were two desperate pleas echoing in my mind.
Please please please don’t let anything be wrong with this baby.
And please don’t make me leave his daddy.
16
Chapter Sixteen
LAD
I’d been through some scary situations before, several of them involving Ryann. But never in my life had my heart been gripped with fear like this.
It seemed all of Altum stood still and watched as we carried my bond-mate’s limp body through the wide open common area and through the palace doors. It was a cruel reversal of the first time Ryann had ever entered this place, when I was the one being carried, unconscious, through the grand hall and she followed along, terrified and helpless.
How I wished I could trade places with her today—for so many reasons.
First, I desperately wished I could take her pain upon myself, and second… she was much stronger than me. If one of us had to survive without the other, there was no doubt in my mind she was the one who’d handle it better. I wouldn’t make it.
When we reached Wickthorne’s clinic, the old healer cleared the room, allowing only Asher and me to stay. He put his hands on Ryann, one over her heart, the other on her swollen abdomen.
Closing his eyes, he focused on her for a full minute. Then he opened them, and what I saw in their depths struck me with terror anew.
It’s bad, Your Highness. She's very ill.
What’s the matter? What do you mean?
The labor-inducing drug she was given caused things to move too quickly. She’s bleeding internally. Her organs are shutting down. And the baby is in jeopardy.
Any one of those statements would have knocked the wind out of me, but all three of them together were about to short-circuit my brain.
Can’t you do something? You have to do something to save them.
Wickthorne nodded. I’ll have to deliver the baby immediately, ready or not, and then we’ll do our best.
He looked sickened by the words he had to say next. If it comes to it… which of their lives do you want me to save?
I rocked back on my heels, my vision filling with sparks. It was too much. He was asking me to make an impossible decision.
If I said the baby, I’d lose Ryann, and I wouldn’t be able to go on. If I said Ryann, we’d lose our child, and I wasn’t sure she’d be able to go on. She might never forgive me.
I’m so sorry, Your Highness.
I’d never seen the healer look so sad. But I couldn’t feel anything for him. All I felt was fury. My blood boiled, anguish and fear converting to liquid rage in my veins. This was all Falene’s fault. Falene, who like most of the Dark Court, thought only of herself and what she wanted.
No, said another voice, this one from deep inside the fiercest pain I’d ever felt in my life. It’s my fault for relaxing the rules and allowing an unfamiliar apprentice healer from the Dark Court into Altum.
I’d been wrong to ever suggest this alliance. No matter what Nox said about the members of his court, they couldn’t be trusted. Any of them.
My father had been right. I’d refused to listen to him, and now I would pay the ultimate price for my foolishness.
Near insensible with grief, I shouted at Wickthorne’s and Asher’s minds, Save them both, or both of you will be banished.
Then I whirled and left the clinic, unable to stand being there a moment longer. I could not watch as the only girl I’d ever loved died in front of me. I couldn’t stand by, helpless, as our baby, whose impending arrival had brought so much joy to my family and people—to me—died without ever getting the chance to live.
Because of me.
In the corridor, Wes spotted me and hurried in my direction. “Lad. I heard about Ryann. I’m so sorry. Is she going to be okay?”
I gave him the stiff arm, charging past him without meeting his sympathetic gaze.
“Get out,” I growled. “You have ten minutes to get your things and your sister and get out of my kingdom. And never come back.”
I don’t know if his jaw dropped or his eyes widened or if there was a gasp of shock because I didn’t turn around to see. I didn’t care about his reaction or his feelings.
Ava was the next person to encounter my rage. She ran up to me as I neared my office, throwing her arms around me in a hug that I supposed was an attempt to comfort me or herself, perhaps.
“Lad, I’m so sorry. Asher messaged me from the clinic. What can I do? How can I help?”
Her, I looked at. Maybe “glared” would be a more appropriate word. “What can you do? You can leave. Asher, too.”
She fell back a step, her eyes round with horror. “What?”
“You heard me. And take your friend Culley with you. Go back to Los Angeles. I’m sure Nox will welcome you. I can’t have outsiders here anymore.”
Even as I said the words, I knew they weren't right. But nothing was right. Nothing would ever be right again. My failure to protect my kingdom—my own bond-mate—would affect the Light Court forever.
As for me… I would have no heir. I would have no bond-mate. I would have no reason for living, and eternity would be nothing short of a life sentence in hell with no chance of parole.
Managing to make it to my office without seeing anyone else, I slammed the door behind me and fell into a chair, dissolving into wracking sobs. How was I supposed to survive this? How was I supposed to lead my people? I couldn’t.
My office door opened, and Nox burst in. “What’s going on? I just saw Ava in the front hall. She said you threw her and Wes out? And Culley, too? I told them you didn’t mean it—that your heart is breaking. But Lad—their hearts are breaking, too. You have to know that. They’re your friends.”
“They’re outsiders. And I did mean it. I don’t want them here. My father was right—about everything.”
“Was he right about Ryann? That you two didn’t belong together because she was part human? Are you really going to throw away everything you’ve ever believed in—including your wife?”
As he must have known it would, those words got me to my feet. I charged him, coming within an inch of his face, and yelling.
“Don’t talk about my wife. You have a wife. You can have a child. You can have it all. In fact, you know what? Take my kingdom, too—permanently. I can’t provide an heir. The line of succession would stop with me anyway, so let’s just expedite that. I don’t care anymore. You take over. You can rule both courts. You and Vancia will have an heir, and he can rule it all. It’s worth nothing to me without Ryann.”
I tried to blow past him, but he stopped me with a firm grip on my forearm that turned into a tight embrace. In a soft voice, he asked, “If you love her so much, what are you doing in here? Why aren’t you with Ryann in her final moments? Just to hold her hand, if nothing else.”
I had to answer him silently because I broke down again and couldn’t stop sobbing long enough to speak.
I can’t. I can’t be there to see it. I can’t be there when she… I couldn’t even stand to finish the thought.
Nox pulled back, still gripping my arm. “It’s not over yet. Asher said if he and Wickthorne combine their efforts, there’s a slim chance they might be able to save the baby. It’s a long shot, but… well, either way… you could at least hold your child for a few minutes.” His voice broke. “I think you’ll always regret it if you don’t. Come on. I’ll go with you. We’ll do it together.”
Feeling utterly empty inside,
I allowed Nox to lead me back to the clinic. Just as we reached the doors, Nox turned to me. His morose expression had morphed into something resembling excitement.
“I just heard from Vancia. She said Alessia has made it back. She’s up on the surface with Wes, and Ava, and Culley.”
“So?”
I had no interest in the comings and goings of the Ancient Court’s Italian princess—as long as she left me and my people alone. Forever.
“Don’t you see? This is great news.”
Nox acted as if he was attempting to explain the obvious. “She’s a healer. Asher said she’s very gifted. Lad—she’s offering to help. There may still be time.”
“There’s nothing she can do—Wickthorne said it’s too late. And she’s an outsider. She’s from the Ancient Court.”
“Are you kidding me? If it was my wife—”
I shoved at his chest. “It’s not your wife. Your wife is alive.”
He gripped my upper arms and shook me. “So. Is. Yours. There’s still a chance.”
“I’m not going to allow an agent of the Ancient Court to poke and prod my bond-mate in her last few moments. I will see her peacefully into the next life.” To myself, I vowed, And then I’ll join her there as soon as possible.
Tears filled Nox’s eyes. “Brother, what’s happened to you? I can’t force you in this matter. You’re king here. You’re her mate. It’s your decision to make. But think about this—you’re going to have a long time to contemplate this choice. Is it one you can live with for an eternity?”
“You let me worry about that.”
I wouldn’t tell him that my eternity would end shortly after my wife’s and child’s. He didn’t need to carry the weight of that knowledge.
“Go now. You’ve got a lot of preparations to make if you’re going to run two courts.”
“Lad…” He reached toward me, a pained look on his face.
“Please. Just go. Let me be alone with her.”
He stared at me a moment longer, turned, and walked away. I pushed the door of the clinic open and stepped inside.
In contrast to the loud and chaotic birth scenes portrayed in the movies and television shows I’d watched since meeting Ryann, the room was silent and still.
