“What Callum?” I am not polite about his constant calling is irritating the crap out of me to be honest tonight is not the night to push my buttons I am unstable right now and that’s a dangerous place for me.
“Well hello to you too Rowan, fuck man answer your phone! I have a job for you, it’s a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ situation just do it. The details are in your inbox. I am collecting your house guests’ documents at noon tomorrow and I will bring them to you at the estate in the late afternoon.” He rambles not stopping between thoughts. I roll my eyes I don’t really want him here but I know that curiosity is killing him.
“Thanks Cal, I will open my inbox and get on this now.” I feign interest in the job he wants me to do.
“Now Rowan as in tonight, this needs to be gone by the morning.” He sounds a little stressed and his voice is agitated. I am sure it could wait till morning but my asshole friend sounds a little anxious over this job, something very out of character for Cal.
“Okay then, see you tomorrow Callum. I am not going like this am I?” He hangs up without another word. Okay then, what has his panties in a bunch I wonder?
I get a text seconds later
You won’t like it Rowan, but you will do it anyway.
I haul out my iPad and open Callum’s mail. I instantly don’t feel right about this but he wants it done and I will do it. My friend is acting very weird about this and I don’t like that, nothing rattles Callum. Once I start reading his mail I am confused by his attitude and urgency. It actually seems like a stupid job to call me for. He wants me to dump a shipping container overboard into the deep end of the harbour. Unless there is a body in it I’m not sure why? But he is my friend, he is paying well and I am bored, also no ways I am sleeping after my talk with Lauri. I am too wired, so I get myself dressed in some jeans and a dark jacket.
I spend a few minutes calling my contacts at the docks, locating the container and a crane it all seems easy enough. Something just sits wrong about this, about Callum tonight. Maybe my brain has turned to cheese having Lauri here and I am being crazy. Once my plans are laid out I knock on her door “I have to go work. See you in the morning.” No answer she is either asleep or pissed that I am working. I go and get into my car and drive towards the city the night is fresh and I leave my window open so that I can smell the ocean air, the best part about living at the coast is the sea air and the way it can clear my head. Once I arrive at the docks I park my car out of sight and walk over to the boat, the strong fishy smell in the air strangles me the docks are a filthy place and I can see the rats running between containers and equipment all around me. My skin crawls and I shiver at the sight of them, I am not a fan of the filthy vermin. My contact, a very shady looking dock official meets me at the boat. His beard is shaggy and his eyes tell me story of a tik addiction and a hard life, a typical Cape Coloured missing both front teeth and reeking of booze. He gives me an idea where the container is and offers to the man the crane for me, which will make this go much quicker. We work quickly and quietly together to hook it up; while I am on the top of the container I hear it first. Screaming, a lot of screaming and banging on the offending containers sides. I stop and listen for a second, my heart about to pound out of my chest cavity. I do not like this. Fuck you Callum. What is this? I don’t need to ask I am pretty sure I know. I am here to do a job, but I don’t like it and Callum is in for it when it’s done. I am about to sink a container full of people that are very much alive, I don’t know who they are or why I am doing this but a job is a job.
I jump down and signal the crane to lift the container and dump it over board. I was so sure this was drugs from a competitor, what is my friend doing? I hear the screams as the container starts its fall down towards the water below. Those that don’t die from the impact will drown within minutes. I watch over the edge of the ship as the container sinks slowly into the filthy harbour water and quickly disappears from my sight beneath the murkiness.
The dirty man and I get off the boat I thank him with a hand shake, pay him cash and leave him there. I walk back through the dirty dock, watching for rats again choking on the dead fish smell polluting my lungs with every breath. As soon as I am in the car I dial Callum from my blue tooth. I am seething! How many people were in there? This was a dirty fucking job if ever there was one, no satisfaction from killing people I can’t see or feel when they die.
“Rowan. Is everything okay?” My friend answers sleepily
“What. The. Actual. Fuck. Callum. Really? Really? I should fucking kill you” I yell at him while I try pull myself together in the drivers’ seat.
“Rowan, I told you don’t ask. It’s complicated. Is it done?” Callum’s voice is shaky and he sounds a little scared to be honest, I don’t like scared Callum, this cannot be anything good.
“That is not complicated Callum, that stinks of human trafficking. Is that what it is?” I hear him release a breath and move around before he answers. He has some bird in his bed, typical.
“Rowan I had to fix a mess for my Pop that’s all I can tell you let it go man.” He talks quietly now so whoever is there can’t hear him try justifying this shit to me.
“How many Callum? How many innocent fucking numbers am I carving into my flesh tomorrow because of you? How fucking many?” I am yelling at him now. I don’t like this at all. I slam my hand on the dashboard to try expel some of this rage that is about to explode inside me.
“Eighty five Rowan. Eighty fucking five! Let it go now. I am warning you. I don’t pay you to have a conscience.” He is angry now and I can tell this was not his job but his Pop’s. I am more furious though. I work for him, not his father. I trust him, well I did until tonight.
“See you tomorrow Callum. You better have some fucking answers for me I swear to God I am so angry with you right now you are lucky I don’t come shoot you in your fucking sleep. This is not cool Callum at all.” I hang up before he answers me.
Eighty five, I just murdered eighty five people tonight. I am not angry about killing them. They had to die if I didn’t they would have died anyway probably as slaves in the sex trade or worse. I am angry that Callum lied to me. He has never lied about a job before; he has never lied about anything before. Why now? I don’t like this at all. I smell a giant RAT. He is like a brother and he has never had reason to lie to me before. Why now?
That was a dirty job, I hate dirty jobs, I make a u turn and return to the dock. I need to clean up. I find my contact high as kite in his office and shoot him in between the eyes. Idiot. I know he has just blown every cent I paid him on tik, while his family lives in squalor and are probably hungry tonight.
A witness is not an option in an accident of this magnitude and if Callum had been truthful I would have worked alone. So we make it Eighty Six.
I leave the dockyard through the container depots and drive my way back to the quiet valley I call home. What is wrong with me? I am feeling. Not sure what I am feeling but I am feeling none the less. I shouldn’t be feeling. Then it hits me like ten ton of shit. Lauri’s words
“Who will pay for your sins Rowan?”
I just took eighty five innocent lives. I am a bad man. But I cannot change that. I will pay for my own sins. I just need to stop feeling. I can’t feel anything. Feelings will get me killed.
I guess we will both need Robin’s services tomorrow. Maybe I’ll wait I don’t need to try explain this to her yet. I am still boiling with anger at Callum’s deception as I drive. I hold the steering tighter than normal, my foot is heavier on the gas and I am tense all over.
I pull my car into the garage and trudge my way straight into bed, the sun will be up in like two hours and I need some sleep to survive. Maybe the lack of good sleep is making me crazy too.
My sleep is plagued with dreams of screams and dying women. I wake up feeling anything but rested. In fact I feel even worse for it. Sleeping was more exhausting than being
awake.
I hear noises in the kitchen and roll myself out of bed; I need coffee, strong black coffee. Maybe even with a shot of scotch in it.
I can hear her banging pots and pans in the kitchen, is she trying to kill me? Its seven am. When I round the corner into the kitchen there she is in yoga pants and a tank top, her long dark hair pulled up on top of her head in a giant messy knot. She is moving about the kitchen with ease and I can smell coffee, and is that bacon? It is Oh God I need both.
“Morning, you up early.” I mumble startling her a little. I reach right past her to grab a coffee cup from the cupboard above her head.
“Morning to you too, I had a good night’s sleep unlike you, I don’t work.” She spits, so she heard me when I left. Her snarky tone is clear as day.
“Sorry, did I wake you when I came in?” I pretend not to notice my work bothers her. I am not going to stop killing people because she is here. I can’t.
“No, you didn’t.” She grumbled back to me dishing up a bacon and cheese omelette onto a plate for her and one for me.
We sit in silence and eat. The irritation can be seen on her pretty face, the frown lines are deep on her forehead as she glares at me. Oh this could be a long fucking day I need to set things straight right now if we live together I am not having this snippy shit. I am instantly irritated. I have a fucking job she knows that. She doesn’t have to like it but she can just suck it up.
“We need to get something out of the way if you are going to stay.” I insisted, looking her in the eye so she can see I am serious “You know what I do, it’s my job. I won’t be stopping because you are in this house Lauri, I also won’t have you acting like a child every time I work.”
Her jaw went slack and I could see anger in her pretty eyes, but I knew this was a battle I just won by the way her shoulders slumped and her body language changed.
“Whatever Rowan. It’s hard for me, I don’t expect you to understand and I know you won’t stop. My own father wouldn’t stop for me, why would you?” she declared bitterly. The tone of her voice changed when she referred to Mick, she was hurt by his choice to do this job.
“Let’s just ignore your job, don’t tell me about it I don’t want to know. I won’t ask. You are a fucking wine farmer as far as I’m concerned.” She spits at me.
Her attitude speaks more than her words but I’ll accept it for now. We have the whole day together today and I would like to try making it a good day for her. I am not used to having to consider the moods or likes of anyone other than myself. I may actually still kill her if she keeps this shit up.
“We are going to Robin at about nine since you’re up so early, then Callum will be bringing your ID documents by the estate later, he will most likely stay for dinner. We can just order in if you like?” I talk in between mouthfuls of the breakfast she has made, it is so good.
She swallows her mouthful of omelette before she answers me, seeming a bit more relaxed now.
“Okay, will he start today do you think?” she asked a little over eagerly “I can cook us dinner if we do some groceries on our way back?” She wants to cook, that’s a good thing.
I nod my head and smile letting her know that I agree, while I shove the last of my breakfast in my mouth. I am going to get used to eating good food. The melted cheese and bacon creation is like heaven and has helped my sleep deprived body recover just a little.
“He might start today he might also just want to draw up a design first just depends on his mood. Dinner would be great we can go shop while we are out.” I mumble with my mouth half full.
She eyeballs me for my appalling table manners then goes off to get dressed for the day. I put the dirty plates in the sink and remind myself to get a new maid soon. I need a shower before we go too, I can almost smell the docks on my skin. The filthy fish air has permeated my clothes and stuck to me, it’s disgusting I feel dirty and I hate that.
An hour later she is waiting for me in the lounge dressed in a long flowing maxi dress and a light cardigan that makes her look sexy as all hell. I grabbed her keys from her room where she left them so we can try her new wheels. Tossing them at her I tell her she is driving. She looks very confused as we walk out the front door. I push the remote to open the garage and whisper in her ear.
“Red one is all yours pretty lady.” She chokes on nothing but air and looks at me with you have to be shitting me eyes “You bought me a car, how’d you know I was staying?” Her attitude is back.
“It’s yours even if you don’t stay. You need a car. I am not making you stay Lauri if you want to leave you can.” I smile at her as she eyes the sexy red SUV in the garage.
I don’t have to say another word she hops in and starts the car. I love to see the happy face she is wearing right now. She is smiling and fiddling with all the buttons on the dash, adjusting her seat and mirrors, she looks beautiful, normal and happy. I hope I can fix the future for her at least a little. She pulls out of the estate and I direct her to Robin’s house. Her driving is horrendous and my knuckles are white from holding on for dear life. I held my breath almost the whole way here and I may have had a mini stroke or two. I am amazed we arrived at Robins without crashing or running someone down. Next time I drive, good Lord she will fucking kill us.
As usual the stunning Amya opens the door this time in a oh so sexy chequered dress that makes her boobs look huge. I cannot not look they are all in my face. I introduce her to Lauri and we go up to the studio to wait for Robin.
“I want you to go Rowan; I don’t want you to see again. Don’t argue please just wait outside. This is hard enough.” She whispers harshly at me before Robin steps his heavy ass inside.
“Rowan.” he greets me with a half awake smile.
“Rob, this is Lauri.” He takes one look at her smiles he knows exactly who she is, he shakes her outstretched hand.
“I know exactly who that is Rowan and we will chat later my friend.” He says looking me in the eye with all kinds of questions burning in his. I forgot he knew about her. I can see he dying to ask me a million questions right now but is scared to say the wrong thing.
“Hello Lauri, let’s get started shall we, what do you want?” He slaps on a smile and asks her, he is thinking this is a quick little picture and that’s that… He is in for a shock.
“First, Rowan, get out, now.” Her eyes shoot daggers at me when I hesitate so I leave and go sit in the kitchen with the hot rockabilly wife sent to tempt all good men.
LAURI
“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.”
~J.R.Tolkien
“I have some scars that I want covered. I will show you, you won’t ask because I won’t tell, I want you to make the ugly beautiful. You are an artist Robin you do what you want over them. Just cover them all so I don’t have to look at them every day.” I try to sound assertive and confident talking to the big man whose eyes are gentle and soft.
“Okay, let’s see Pretty Lady” Robin’s voice is friendlier than his presence he is a large man with bulging muscles and what I know is gang tattoo on his cheek.
I remove my cardigan and my maxi dress easily leaving only my underwear on and turn around for Robin to see them all. I hear him suck in a breath and then I see his eyes dart to mine in absolute horror at what he sees. He lifts his finger signalling me to wait a sec and walks out the door. I can hear him slamming Rowan against the wall outside. “Was that you Rowan? I will fucking kill you man. What the fuck is that?” he screams that my blood turns cold. Shit. Shit. Shit. I can’t hear the rest they are talking in whispers now, so I just sit down and wait for him to return. If he returns, maybe he won’t want to help me get rid of my ugly.
“I am sorry Lauri,” Robin replies quietly when he does return. “That was wrong of me, but if it was him I would have killed him. I can cover your scars; you will still feel them but won’t see them. It will take
a long time and it’s going to hurt like a mother fucker, but it can be done. Do you have ideas or are you a blank canvas?”
“You can do what you like as long as it’s beautiful, no skulls and death and blood. Also no religious shit, God forgot me long ago.” I want the pictures on my skin to be beautiful; I want them to make me pretty.
He tells me to lay face down on his table and we can start right away, he sets up a load of colours and his gun before asking me if I am alright with the pain. Seriously what’s with that question already? The first sting of the needle makes me jump a little but after that the feel of it ripping along my skin erasing Renzo’s work has me in a trance after a short time. The stinging searing burning pain taking me away from everything else. I close my eyes and let it take me away. I imagine what will be painted on my skin and my mind goes back to Rowan’s heart. It’s so beautiful but so dark somehow.
I don’t know how much time has passed when Robin taps me to signal he is done for today. He peels his latex gloves off of his big hands and throws them away, admiring his work on me.
“Look in the mirror and see what you think, it is going to take months to cover it all but we will. You will have to let your skin rest tomorrow and come again the day after, same time?” Robin talks as I look at my left shoulder and upper back in the mirror. I am not really listening to him. It’s unbelievable he has started to ink the most real red roses with black filigree in between them over the worst of my scars and even all red and sore it takes me a second to let it soak in. This was the best idea ever. “Thank you; it’s ...it’s stunning.” Is all I manage to squeak out. The picture has erased the raised purple mark that the scissors left on me.
I set off to find Rowan and agree to see Robin again day after tomorrow. Robin follows me into the kitchen, where Rowan is chatting to his wife.
“We’re done for today, she can come again day after tomorrow and we can pen in dates from there to finish.” Robin talks to Rowan in a friendly tone that doesn’t match his huge frame and I know that they are still friends after their little argument earlier.
Colour My Ugly Page 11
