by J. L. Berg
It had to have.
So the next day, as I had sung to myself over a pan of sizzling bacon, wearing one of his old T-shirts, I’d let myself dream.
But instead of boardrooms and exotic hotels, this dream was different.
Different and amazing.
And all mine.
I’d pictured myself here, in this town, somewhere down the road.
Not just for a few days or a week but a year. Two years. Ten.
I’d pictured our life on this island, and for once, I hadn’t been scared.
For once, I hadn’t felt alone.
Until I had seen his face when he came down the stairs, and I’d realized something was seriously wrong.
Maybe fantasies weren’t supposed to come true after all.
All my fears had been confirmed the next day when I’d sat at the inn for hours, waiting for him to pick me up for Sunday dinner at his mother’s house.
He never showed.
After several unanswered calls and texts, and a full twenty-four hours of radio silence, I began to get worried. Had something happened?
Racing into the office of Sutherland Fishing Co. the next morning, I found only Dean.
“Have you seen Taylor,” I’d asked. “Is he okay?”
A sad expression had passed across his face. “He’s fine, Lani.”
I had my answer.
I hadn’t tried to contact him since.
“Have you asked him why?”
“No,” I answered. “I don’t have to. From the beginning, he made his intentions clear. The town comes first. I was never part of his permanent plans.”
Her voice was warm and comforting. “Lani, I know you’re hurting, but think this through with me. If Taylor had this money—which is a lot by the way—sitting around from the beginning, why didn’t he just buy the hotel from your father weeks ago?”
I shrugged, unwilling to justify his betrayal. “Maybe he needed a distraction.”
“Maybe he’s pushing you away,” she said. “And, in effect, running from the one thing he wants more than anything.”
It was a romantic notion, but one I couldn’t comprehend. Not when my heart was breaking and my chest ached.
And—
“You know, Jake ran once,” she went on, her eyes wistful, deeply emotional. “We’d barely graduated from high school, but even then, I had known. We had known. He was mine, and I was his. We would have our whole lives together.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“His mom died,” she answered. “His mom died and everything changed. He changed. And then he ran.”
“Taylor isn’t running,” I said firmly. “He’s getting exactly what he wanted. Now, everything will go back to how it was before I came. His precious hotel will stand, unchanged, and so will the town.”
“Do you think that’s what he really wants?”
“I have a very official-looking letter that tells me he does.”
“Maybe you should go ask him yourself. Men are…” She scrunched her nose, as if she was trying to find a particular word but then just gave up. “Frustrating,” she finally said. “Sometimes they need a little extra push to get them to fess up their feelings.” Laughing lightly, she added, “I guess women aren’t innocent of that either.”
“Is that what you did with Jake?”
She laughed. “Oh, yes. I pushed him all right—right out of town.”
My brows lifted. “You kicked him out?”
Her head tilted. “It broke my heart to do it. But, as much as I loved him, we needed time. And I figured if we found each other again, it would be right next time. And it was. So, yeah, I pushed him. But I also pushed myself in the process. We both grew.”
I shook my head, feeling like I was swimming in doubt. It was a nice notion, the idea of time.
But time was never a luxury Taylor and I had.
Especially now…
“No. He’s made his decision, and he chose wrong. I don’t need any further explanation than that, and I don’t want to wait around for a man who doesn’t want me, especially since…” My words got caught in my throat. It was barely an idea but one I’d been grappling with all day. It was the real reason I’d given up my fruitless search for whiskey.
“Especially since what?”
I swallowed hard, knowing that once I said it, action must be taken. “Especially since I think I might be pregnant.”
I honestly didn’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t for Molly. She hadn’t asked many questions or passed any judgment.
She’d simply asked what I needed, and when I’d said, “A friend,” she was there.
Having never done this before, she was a guiding light as well as the shoulder I needed to lean on. While I suspected I might be pregnant, I wasn’t sure if I could actually confirm it.
Molly, having already been down the surprise pregnancy road assured me enough time had passed.
“I got my first positive test when I was a day late,” she’d said. “I took about ten more after that, and Jake took a blood test when he didn’t believe the pile I threw on his desk. But, yes, the home tests are pretty accurate these days.”
I sort of nodded my head in a daze.
Great, that’s great.
Luckily, my good friend Molly also took care of procuring the much needed pregnancy test as well, having some stored away in her own bathroom at home. When she returned and handed one over, I couldn’t help but give her a questioning look.
“We’re trying for baby number two,” she said, giving a casual shrug. “I order them online so that the entire town doesn’t know.”
“Small towns are weird,” I commented.
She let out a small laugh. “Indeed they are. Do you know how to use one of these?”
Looking down at it, I felt a small lump form in my throat. This wasn’t exactly how I pictured this moment in my life.
“I think I can figure it out, but can I make a call first?”
She shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere. You do whatever you need to.”
“Thanks.”
Fortunately, the inn was all but empty, the only midweek visitor being me, so we had the whole place to ourselves. Leaving the door to my suite open, she wandered out, making herself busy in other rooms to allow me some privacy.
I didn’t need it, but I appreciated the gesture.
This all felt a little overwhelming, and right now, I just needed to hear one voice before I did this.
Pulling up her number, I sat down on the bed, draping the yellow quilt over my legs, and waited for Piper to answer.
“Please tell me you’re going to give me several details about your juicy new love life,” she said, not bothering with a greeting. “’Cause it is a Sahara over here, if you know what I’m saying!”
I smiled, although it was a halfhearted one as I pushed back tears.
“Piper,” I managed to say.
Her voice sobered instantly. “What’s wrong? Who died? Oh my God, what’s wrong?”
“No one died,” I said, hoping to calm her. “But I do have something to tell you.”
“Okay,” she said cautiously. “Why do I get the feeling it’s not something good?”
I shook my head, feeling my heart beat in response. “I think I might be pregnant.”
“You think, or you are? Have you taken a test yet?” she asked. “And how did this happen? Did he talk you out of a condom? That rat bastard! I will come to that island myself and—”
“Piper!” I nearly yelled.
“Sorry!” she said softly. “You know how I handle stress.”
“You panic?”
“Exactly! So, why are you calling me?” she joked. “You know I can’t handle this crap.”
“Because you’re my family, and I’m scared.”
“Let’s talk you through this, okay?”
I breathed out for maybe the first time in a minute. “Okay.”
“You used condoms?”
I nodded my head at fir
st, and then I realized she couldn’t see me. “Yes, but—”
“Yes, but what? There should be no yes, buts when it comes to sex.”
“I have an IUD. So, we stopped.”
“What IUD?”
“Um, the IUD I got in college. You should remember; you went with me.”
The moment of silence made me seriously question my remembering skills.
“That IUD?” she exclaimed. “Have you gotten it replaced?”
My heart started to beat wildly. “No. Why would I have? It’s good for, like, twelve years.”
“Five! It’s good for five!” she screamed.
“What? No! I got the one that lasted forever, remember?”
She groaned, and I wasn’t sure if it was a groan over how incredibly stupid I was or that she was starting to seriously feel bad for me.
Either way, it wasn’t good.
“No,” she explained. “You went in there, dead set on the copper IUD, because you didn’t want any hormones in your body.”
“I remember that.”
“And then the doctor told you about the possibility of losing your period all together if you went with the five-year option.”
Suddenly, everything started to come back.
“Shit,” I said, my stomach becoming queasy. “But I did have my period every single month. Like clockwork.” It was one of the reasons I panicked so quickly. My period was like a very punctual out of town guest. It came like clockwork.
Except for this month.
This month, it was a no-show.
“I remember calling my doctor to complain when my period came, despite her bragging that it wouldn’t, and she just played it off as no big deal and said it would just work itself out eventually. I hung up, called her a quack and never thought about it again.”
I stared at the pale yellow walls, realizing my monumental mistake. “I’m such an idiot. This is all my fault.”
“Hey,” she said, her voice soft and filled with warmth. “It’s going to be okay. It’s not like you had a one-night stand. This guy is one of the good ones, right?”
My lips trembled. “Right,” I said, trying not to think of the letter still resting on the table downstairs.
He’s one of the good ones.
“So, see? Maybe it’s not so bad. And, besides, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. You haven’t even taken the test yet.”
“Right,” I said again, unable to think of anything else.
I didn’t need to take the test.
Some things you just knew.
And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was carrying Taylor’s child.
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked after an unusual amount of silence passed between us.
Looking down at my belly, I protectively nestled a hand over it. “Yeah,” I said, feeling more determined than ever. “I’ll be just fine.”
When we hung up moments later and I called Molly back in the room, I no longer felt like the trembling, lost little girl sitting in front of the fireplace.
Now, I was a woman, ready to take on the world.
“Let’s do this,” I said, surprising even Molly.
“Well, okay then.”
I was still scared, still fearful of the future, but when that positive test appeared, I knew one thing for certain.
I would never be alone again.
“Taylor, I’m having your baby.”
I took a deep breath and let it out.
“See?” I said to absolutely no one. “Totally easy.”
Saying it out loud didn’t sound so bad. Of course, I’d been saying it to the very sympathetic air in the hotel lobby for what seemed like days.
Actually, it had been days.
Days of slowly wearing down a circled path around this large space as I tried to figure out what to do.
Should I tell him or just walk away, leaving him completely in the clear?
No ties, no commitment.
No responsibility to either of us.
It didn’t seem fair—to keep it from him—but then again, neither was stealing my hotel. The hotel I was currently trying to vacate. I hadn’t heard from the new owner, but I assumed that was what he wanted—for me to leave.
But the process was moving slower than I’d anticipated. As it turned out, I’d grown quite attached to this dingy old place and the island that surrounded it.
That singular moment in Taylor’s kitchen when everything in my life had suddenly seemed to click into place, continued to haunt me. I felt connected to this island, to Ocracoke, and the people I’d met. As silly as it seemed, when I had stood there that morning, making bacon and frying eggs, I’d felt relief.
I’d been working so hard, chasing a dream I thought I’d wanted for so long.
Prove my worth and show my father I was good enough.
Those were the only goals I had seen.
But what would happen after that? Did I really want to follow in my father’s footsteps? Nonstop travel, endless meetings, no time for anyone?
Was that the life I was hoping for?
Somewhere along the way, as I’d fought for the goals I thought I wanted, I’d actually found the life I was supposed to have.
Right here. With Taylor.
And then it had been ripped right out of my grasp with a single soul-crushing letter.
Now, I had to find a new dream. A new life. Because it wouldn’t be found by taking over my father’s company.
I wouldn’t be that parent.
What kind of parent would Taylor be?
That had yet to be determined.
But, first, I had to tell him.
Just as I was contemplating how I was going to accomplish this, my phone rang. Heart racing, I looked down at the screen, only to discover it was Piper.
“Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”
“You were hoping I was someone else, weren’t you?” she said.
“No,” I said, a definite pout to my voice.
But we both knew I was lying. After my confirmed test the other night, I’d called her back to deliver the news, and we’d had a heart-to-heart, in which I’d confessed the current and very real status of my relationship with Taylor.
It had taken all I had to talk her out of catching the first flight out of Hawaii so she could hunt him down and kill him.
After I’d reminded her that my child would actually need a father, she’d managed to calm down. At least for a while.
“Well, unfortunately, I’m not calling to give you good news.”
“Oh?”
“I’m stuck in Georgia,” she said, as if that was supposed to mean something to me.
“What the hell are you doing in Georgia?”
“Coming to see you, obviously.”
A faint smile tugged at the corners of my lips. “You’re coming to see me?”
“Of course I am! Do you think I’d let you get knocked up without me?”
I laughed. “Well, that part has kind of already happened.”
“You know what I mean, dork. I’m not letting you go through this without me.”
“You know, if my father catches you out here—”
“He’ll what? Fire me for taking vacation time? Besides, that hotel isn’t even his anymore, so I don’t give a shit what he thinks.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said before following up with, “So, why are you grounded?”
“Haven’t you seen the news?”
I looked around, like that was some sort of explanation. “I’ve been shacked up at the hotel for days, trying to pack up and force myself to leave.” I let out a small huff. “No, I haven’t seen the news.”
“The tropical storm—”
“The one that is supposed to brush by the tip of Florida? They grounded you for that?”
“No,” she said. “It turned. And it’s headed right for the Carolinas.”
After talking Piper into going back home and convincing her I’d be okay without her, I pulled up a
local news channel on my phone, hoping to get some more details on what we were facing.
As a native of Hawaii, I’d had some experience with hurricanes and tropical storms, but it was extremely limited. The last major storm to pass through had happened when I was very little, but I remembered the stories.
And they were terrifying.
Homes ripped right from the foundations, people stranded for days, the loss of life.
As the website loaded, I clicked on a video and held my breath.
“Officials are calling this storm a late-season killer. Not only because of the timing—coming at the very end of hurricane season—but also due to its deadly force. What once was a tame tropical storm has now grown to a Category Two, and meteorologists warn it could get even bigger.”
“Damn,” I whispered.
The video cut from the anchorman to a satellite photo, and I got my first shot of the monster coming for the Carolina coast.
“No word from state and local government on mandatory evacuations, but they appear to be imminent.”
Evacuations?
I looked around at the hotel, the one place I felt safe, and a sudden wave of panic took hold of me.
Where would I go?
I couldn’t stay here, not with…
My hand dropped to my belly.
With my phone in my hand, I pulled up the only number I could think of. The name attached to it had once felt like a beacon of hope, a source of calm, and a shield from everything that could harm.
But I couldn’t rely on false hopes and flimsy shields any longer.
And I was over the disappointing men in my life.
So, instead, I dialed another number and made plans to get the hell out of Ocracoke. For good.
Turned out, the people of Ocracoke were like a well-oiled platoon, ready for battle when it came to hurricanes.
“Just another day in the ’Coke,” Molly said with a shrug after I met her and Jake at their home just a few hours later.
She’d kindly agreed to be my ride out of town, admitting that she’d already planned on dragging me out herself if I didn’t come willingly. Honestly, Jake and Molly had been my source of sanity over the last few days. They’d even driven me up the coast for my first ever OB appointment.
Apparently, doctors took things a bit more seriously when you had both an IUD and a positive pregnancy test. The whole appointment had been borderline terrifying as the doctor said words like miscarriage and high risk, but then she’d given me a pat on my shoulder and tried to soothe my fears as she’d gone over all my options.
