“Okay. I think we should hit Fred Meyer.” Zach stood up. “Clean out the non-perishable stuff since we got so much space.”
“You go ahead,” Lizzie said. She needed to get away from people. Needed some freedom or she would explode. “But first take me back to my house. I wanna drive my car.” Her skin tingled and she felt sweat. Kill the snakes. She had to face the horror head on, not slink away. C.J. wasn’t going to control her.
Zach laughed. “Your car?”
“Yeah.”
Nev and Zach glanced at each other.
“Jesus, guys. Yeah, I’m fucked up, but I’m a big girl.”
Nev nodded. “I’m worried about you.”
“Thanks, Nev.”
“And I don’t know if you’re safe to drive on your own.” Zach frowned.
She knew what he really meant was safe to be by herself. “Fuck you, Zach.”
Zach closed his mouth. Then opened it. “Whatever. Let’s go.”
On the drive Lizzie sat on her hands and tried to pay attention to her breathing. Bellingham looked normal for a quiet Sunday maybe. She sat in the back by Saj, avoiding any more interaction with Zach and Nev.
At the house, Lizzie bent over Saj in the car seat and kissed him on the top of his head. He looked up at her. What do you think of this crazy girl who found you? “Nev-nev is gonna take care of you, Saj. Sissy’ll see you in a bit.”
He flapped his hands on the crossbar of the car seat. “Sissy.”
Lizzie turned away before she started to cry.
Zach said. “If you get lost or stuck, call me. If you don’t make it back by dinner time, I’m coming after you.”
Lizzie shook her head, not looking back. “I’ll be fine. I’ll call if I need help.”
After they left Lizzie started up the CRV, but she couldn’t leave yet. She wasn’t fine, tears pooled in her eyelids. Dammit, I won’t cry. She sat there afraid to go in. Kinda funny after all the weeks I was scared to leave.
Lizzie pulled the car around to the back alley with fewer lurches than last time she’d driven. She could miss walking by the bathroom this way. She shut the car off.
Her brain spun as she took in the empty alley, the house that had been as close to a home as any she’d lived in. She wanted something. But what? The CDs seemed silly today. She had all those songs on her phone and her player. Time to let go of Daddy like she would have to let go of Mama. Then it came to her. Mama’s memorabilia box. She wanted it like she wanted Saj to have something from his mom. She got out of the CRV and went in the back way.
The door swung open, bouncing loosely against the wall in the brisk wind. She went straight up to her room and grabbed the cigar box out of the back of the bottom drawer. She opened it and pulled out the little hankie her grandmother had embroidered her grandpa’s initials on. She loved hearing her mom talk about them, maybe the only time Mama had been happy.
She took a few of her drawings off the wall and tucked them under her arm. Glancing around she saw the tiny fake-diamond stud earrings Mama had bought her when she’d turned 16. They’d never been bizarre enough for Lizzie’s sense of style. She sat on the bed and put them in, taking the balls out of her nostril and her left tragus hole.
She picked up an empty journal and started writing.
Spam me, jam me, tell me lies.
Tell me that you're old and wise
And all that I don't realize.
Spam me, jam me, tell me lies
Rape me, make me take the blame
Tell me it's always the same
Till I don’t even know my name
Rape me, make me take the blame
Feel my heat, my anger, tell me everyone's a liar
Let it cauterize my feelings, let it burn a wall of fire
There was a knock at the front door. Lizzie tucked the hankie inside and left the bedroom, heading downstairs. “Zach? You didn’t need to come back here after me.” She reached the door and opened it.
It wasn’t Zach. A dark-haired man in jeans and a Carhartt jacket spun on the bottom step and backed down as the door opened.
As she swung the door open she stopped breathing. It wasn’t a knock. It had come from a hunting knife embedded in the door. Pinned under the tip was the bloody scrap of C.J.s’ T-shirt that said Fucker.
He stepped toward her. “You killed my brother.”
12
LIZZIE SCREAMED AND SHOVED THE door closed. “Leave me alone!”
“Lizzie, right?”
His voice was calm, but Lizzie heard menace. How’d he know her name? Shit. The stupid sign at the school. The doorknob turned. Lizzie grabbed it, trying to shove the deadbolt. The door shoved her back and the deadbolt popped out.
He stepped in.
Lizzie heaved herself at the door, slamming it with her shoulder.
It caught on his foot. She shoved again as he pulled his foot back. The door closed to where the deadbolt stuck out. She got the safety chain hooked, but he rammed his shoulder into the door and she couldn’t get the deadbolt retracted. She gave up and ran toward the back of the house.
She heard heavy thuds and then tearing. The chain gave way.
He crashed through the front door, and shouted after her. She didn’t hear his words over the string of curse words she was screaming at him.
She slipped on the kitchen floor and landed on her mother’s box. It broke. Her pictures flew. She shoveled the contents back in and stumbled through the back door as he came toward her.
He grabbed her around the waist as she tried to get out to the back deck. She swung backwards with her hand trying to claw his face. Her feet kicked out.
“Hold it!” He yelled as they fell into the screen door.
She scrambled up and got out the door. He dove, catching her around the legs. Then someone was between them, snarling, punching, kicking—Spike.
Lizzie jerked her legs from her attacker’s grasp and she struggled to her feet clutching Mama’s box. Spike was big, but clumsy. He was losing ground to C.J.’s brother. She ran for the car, slamming the gate behind her.
Lizzie flung the door open, tossed the box in the passenger seat, and twisted the key. It started; she threw it into drive and stepped on the gas. The tires spit gravel. To her amazement she drove in a straight line down the alley and didn’t hit anything.
He appeared running alongside the car. Lizzie screamed and jammed the lock button. She slammed the gas to the floor, and swerved sideways into him. He jumped out of the way.
“Almost hit your damn brother, too. Should have!” She gripped the steering wheel tightly as the CRV careened forward. In the rear view mirror she could see him coming, still running. “I can lose you in town.” She swerved sharply onto Iowa Street, fighting to keep the car from barreling out of control into a storefront.
Her pursuer followed her around the corner and then stopped, watching as Lizzie pulled away. “You’re stupid, Lizzie. What’d you tell everyone your address for?”
He turned around and walked back the way he’d come.
She needed to be on the other side of the freeway, but didn’t want to be followed. Turning another sharp corner onto Franklin Street, she held the steering wheel tight and slowed. Visions of her mangled body in a wreck flashed in her head. Behind her, she couldn’t see anyone. But he must have a vehicle.
“Shit, shit, shit.” She let the car glide forward.
When she reached James Street, she rolled down all the windows, listening for any sign of pursuit. She coasted through the intersection, her eyes darting in every direction. No sign.
In front of the Trader Joe’s building she saw Spike hunched over and limping. Her foot slammed the brake and she pitched forward into the steering wheel. Should she pick him up?
It was the right thing to do. She drove into the parking lot. He saw her approach. His face had been bloodied, his large nose redder than usual, but he didn’t look very hurt. She jumped out and opened the back door. “Come on, Spike. Get in the car. Lizzie
’s gonna try and help you now.”
Spike obediently climbed into the back seat.
Lizzie jumped back in the front seat. “Breathe, Lizzie.”
She popped it into drive and turned around, then drove across the freeway. She was amazed at how much control she had driving when she didn’t stop to be afraid of it. She kept off main streets, zig-zagging forward, like she remembered from ninth grade English what Theseus had done in the Labyrinth.
Spike cowered. “We’ll clean you up in a bit, Spike.” His head popped up. “How much can you understand?”
His head tilted to one side, staring in confusion.
When she reached the house she honked like a maniac.
Zach came running out. “What happened?”
She jumped out, wired. “C.J.’s brother. I think he wants to kill me,” she babbled and collapsed in Zach’s arms.
He held her. “It’s ok. You’re safe.”
Nev hurried out carrying Saj. She looked Lizzie up and down.
Lizzie saw her relax when she didn’t see any injuries.
“What happened?”
“C.J.’s brother. You were right, Nev. We should have done something with the body.”
“Spike saved me. I brought him home.” Lizzie managed a smile. “Can we keep him?”
“Spike?” Zach stared at her. Then his eyes bugged out as he saw the passenger in her backseat.
Lizzie let Zach help Spike out of the car. He was shifty and nervous with so many faces peering at him. “It’s okay, Spike. These are friends.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “He needs a bath.”
“The hot tub?” Nev said.
Zach shook his head. “What if we want to use it? Let’s try the shower next to it.
Lizzie coaxed Spike into the shower with dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. It wasn’t too long before he was naked and somewhat clean. Nev brought a big towel, they wrapped him up in it and took him inside by the gas fireplace.
“Okay, now what do we dress him in?” Lizzie asked. “He’s like a six-foot baby.”
No one came up with any answers so she went and found a man-sized bathrobe. She continued feeding him chicken nuggets until he fell asleep. Then she escaped to the bedroom, while Zach and Nev watched a movie.
Sitting on the bed, Lizzie reopened her mom’s box of memories, now squashed on one side. The old cigar box under the pretty contact paper showed through.
Lizzie picked at the paper, trying to figure out if she could fix it. As she pulled it back she saw her father’s name: Manuel Guerrero. She peeled it further back. And found an address: P.O. Box in Del Rio, Texas and a phone number with an 830 prefix. I can call my dad? Mama!?
She dialed the number quickly before she lost her nerve. It rang for a very long time. Then she got a voicemail box. Lizzie took a deep breath. “Mr… Manuel, uh, it’s Lizzie. Elizabeth. Your daughter. If you get this please call.” She said her phone number twice, slowly. “If you ever get this..., Daddy.”
The word sounded weird coming out of her mouth. She hadn’t seen him since she was too young to remember. But she loved the idea of him—his music, his movies.
She set the phone down. Don’t get your hopes up, Lizzie. He didn’t care enough to look her up when everyone was alive. Even if he was alive, would he want to see her?
Zach awoke early, his body still on farm time—time to get up and feed Gramp’s livestock. He didn’t want to wear the same dirty clothes he’d had on for days, but hadn’t thought to pack when he had made his rescue run up to Bellingham. Chad’s closet was full of clothes, ski gear, hiking gear, a wetsuit. But none of them fit. He found an unopened pack of boxers, pulled on a pair and decided the joy clean underwear brought was priceless.
After dressing he stuck his head in at the master bedroom. Lizzie snored softly with Saj cradled in her arms. Nevaeh was already up; her side of the bed was pulled together as much as could be without disturbing the others.
Maybe the dad’s clothes would fit Zach better. The mirrored closet doors slid silently on their rails. Zach grabbed a pair of flannel-lined hiking pants off a shelf.
With a quick glance to make sure Lizzie still slept, he shucked off his pants and pulled on the new pair. They were baggy, the way he liked them. He snagged a comfy-looking flannel, retrieved his belt and decided to go out for some fresh air. Nev had probably gone outside.
He slipped out the door into the cold, gray morning. The sun had risen, showing bright through clouds over the hills. He walked down to the lake past the once-manicured lawn that now looked a ragged. Fog floated out over the water.
At the lake’s edge, he tossed a rock out into the glassy surface, then knelt to splash water on his face. The cold was bracing; he felt alive as a breeze swept past. He heard feet on gravel and turned to see Nev, oblivious to his presence as she jogged toward him. She wore neon green running shorts and a black running bra. Looking at her made Zach shiver and not just from the cold.
Canada Geese honked across the lake, forming a perfect V in the dawn’s light. At least they had one solid path to follow. He was torn, north or south? He’d go North—away from Nev. With her dressed like that, he wasn't sure what he might say. He liked her, but he had just been with Lizzie. They were all supposed to be friends. What a mess. He strode at a good pace along the shore path.
“Zach? Wait up.”
He stopped. Nev ran toward him like an Olympian, her arms and legs pumped with fine precision, her body moving only to propel her forward.
When she got close she slowed, breathing puffs of white fog. She made her mouth into an O and puffed a few at him.
“Morning. Cold and frosty,” Zach said.
“Who you calling cold and frosty? It’s pretty,” Nev said. “I couldn’t sleep anymore. Seems all I’ve done the last few weeks. When I dream, everyone is still alive. I get worried about stupid shit like track and school and work, but...” she faded off.
“But you always have to wake up.” Zach finished for her.
“Yeah.” Nevaeh glanced back at the house.
Zach stared out over the lake. The wind had picked up; the fog slid across the water, leaving behind pretty white caps. “What are we gonna do for Lizzie?”
“Wait.” Nevaeh sighed. “She’s gotta work through it.”
He knelt to pick up some rocks to toss in the lake. “Saj is probably a good thing to distract her.” Thinking about the little rug-rat warmed his heart. “Spike? I’m not so sure. He makes me nervous.” He threw the stones, skipping them despite the choppy surface.
“Yeah. I love the way she looks at Saj. I remember times she’d look that way at Jayce when he was little.” Her body shook with cold. “Gotta keep moving.”
Zach watched Nev as she began to jog, but slower. His eyes followed the curve of her body where it slipped underneath her clothing.
“You watching my butt, Zach Riley?” She laughing. “The world might end, but some things never change.”
Zach blushed. Then with a sudden burst of courage he blurted, “Yup. You mind?”
“Not as much as I used too.” She turned and faced him. Hands on her hips. “Race you to the next dock?”
“You’re on. I’ll give you this much head start,” he said, indicating the space between them.
“I don’t need it. On your mark, set? Go!” Nevaeh sprinted.
Zach exploded from his kneeling stance, his arms flying in rhythm. He gained on her, but only barely. Another hundred yards. He focused on the trail under his feet and poured on all he had. He watched her butt now as a competitor.
He closed the distance as she slapped the piling. He slowed, still several strides away, running at her in full tackle mode. She sidestepped like he knew she would, but clotheslined him as he passed. He managed to grab her arm and drag her down with him, rolling into the heavy grass.
They laughed. Icy dampness from the long grass seeped into his clothes. It was like old times, for a moment all their troubles were gone. He took the chance, and leaned in fo
r a kiss.
Her lips curved upward but she turned her mouth away and attacked his ribs, tickling him ruthlessly. He laughed uncontrollably until he finally turned the tables on her. He had her wrists pinned tight while he tickled her.
She contracted in hysterical laughter.
“Please. Zach. Stop!”
He continued to tickle.
“I give.” She twisted her hands and slid from his grasp.
“Hey, how’d you do that with your hands?” he asked, fending off her return attack.
“Wrists actually. All in the wrist. People call it double-jointed. It’s not really, just stretchy tendons, I think. Check this out.” She stopped trying to tickle him and pushed her fingers all the way back until they pointed toward her elbow.
“Jesus, doesn’t that hurt?”
“No. A girl needs to be able to defend herself.” Her grin turned serious.
He was thinking it, too. What kind of a world were they living in?
She gave him a goofy grin. “All this tickling has worked up my appetite. I’ll make breakfast.” She rolled toward him, hugged him quickly and jumped up. “Race you back.”
She ran off; he didn’t join the race, but jogged after her. That was Nev, always trying to stay positive. But he knew she was worried. He was worried, too. He knew one thing that would help him feel better. Safety.
No one besides Nev was awake inside. Zach searched inside the house and garage. Even with all the scavenging they had done, there was one thing they still needed. Guns. More than Lizzie’s shotgun. With people like C.J. and his brother out there, they needed to protect themselves.
He found nothing but a classic wooden bow and some wooden arrows. They were pretty, but not what he needed. He slipped into the master bedroom and checked the closet. If there was a gun in the house, it was too well hidden. He returned to the kitchen and sat down.
“Breakfast is ready.” Nev put a big bowl of oatmeal in front of him. “Any luck?”
“No.” He put brown sugar, cinnamon and raisins in the mush.
Nev smiled at him, eating hers plain. “What’re you looking for?”
“Guns.”
ALL IS SILENCE Page 9
