by Dena Christy
“And do I distract you?” she asked as she stepped toward him and put her hand on his chest. She could feel the effect their kiss had had on him in the heavy beat of his heart, and a small part of her rejoiced that for a moment, however brief, she’d been the focus of all his attention.
“You know you do,” he said, his voice husky as he clasped her hand and held it away.
She relented, to let him go back to worrying about his place in the Order. If she was going to get close to him again and convince him to give their marriage another chance she needed to be patient. The intensity of their kiss had spooked him, and she didn’t want to push him faster than he was ready for.
“I’ll leave you to your work,” she said quietly as she turned away. A smile he couldn’t see played about her mouth as she walked from the room. Perhaps the Order’s hold on him wasn’t as strong as she thought. All she needed was a little more time to prove to him that he needed her in his life more than he needed the Order.
* * *
Cadric ran his index finger over his bottom lip as he stared at his office door. He’d instructed Hadria to come in first thing this morning, and she had yet to arrive. Her tardiness had the unfortunate effect of causing him to dwell on the kiss he’d shared with Nan last night. He didn’t know what possessed him to kiss her. Perhaps it was seeing the hurt she tried to hide when he mentioned the importance of the Order in his life. He hadn’t liked the thought that being around him caused her pain, and he’d done what he could to erase it. He’d hurt her enough already that he didn’t want to any more.
The kiss had shocked him. He had missed her, and thought about her over the years that had separated them, but he hadn’t realized how much his body craved hers until they’d kissed. It had taken every ounce of his control to push himself away from her and not carry her off to his bedroom and make love to her as he longed to. He hadn’t lied when he told her he was fighting for his professional life, and that he couldn’t handle the distraction she provided.
He shoved his thoughts of her away when there was a knock on his door. Hadria opened it and peeked her head inside.
“You wanted to see me?” she asked, and he waved her in.
“Please sit down. We have a lot to go through,” he said as he indicated the chair across from him. He steepled his hands under his chin as he looked at her. She raised an eyebrow at him while she waited for him to speak. “The key to this whole investigation rests on finding Eduard Rouben, I know it. Something about his involvement doesn’t add up.”
“What do you mean? We have witnesses who saw him get in the back of the van when he left Cavanaugh’s cabin. I don’t think there is any doubt that he was involved somehow with Dany’s murder. The van didn’t make any stops on the way to Kingston.”
Cadric knew all that but he had a nagging feeling in the back of his skull that they were missing something crucial.
“I hand picked him, and I’d like to think of myself as a very good judge of character. Eduard was a good agent, he was level headed, and murdering a prisoner was completely out of character for him. The people I hire are vetted and are loyal to the Order and to me,” he said.
Hadria’s mouth tightened, and he knew what she was going to say. He held up his hand to stop her, but she ignored him.
“Not everyone, if you don’t mind me saying sir,” she said.
Cadric knew she was referring to her former lover Alex, who’d betrayed Hadria and the Order.
“I will admit that there have been a few exceptions, that yes Alex and Rachael betrayed us, but I don’t think that’s the case with Eduard,” Cadric said and he slapped his hand down on top of his desk. Maybe she was right, and the Order had been betrayed again. Either way, he would not know for certain until Eduard was found. “Damn it, we have to find him.”
“I know we do,” she said quietly. “You need to keep a clear head about this. Don’t you always tell us to control our emotions to make it easier to see the truth?”
“I know I always say that, but I need him found,” Cadric said as he tightened his hand into a fist on the top of his desk. He wanted to tell her what was at stake if they didn’t find Eduard, but he didn’t want to burden her any more than she was already. “And I need to find whoever broke into my office and stole from me.”
“So that’s what Roger was talking about,” she said as comprehension dawned on her face.
“Do you want to fill me in?”
“Roger told me to tell you he looked at the tapes, and no one has been in your office while you haven’t been here.”
“That’s impossible, someone took that bullet,” Cadric said. If he didn’t know better he thought he was losing his mind. He could have sworn that a bullet had been missing from the case, but he trusted Roger implicitly and if he said no one had been in his office unsupervised, that was the truth as far as he knew it. This whole situation with his missing agent and his desperation to find him had him jumping at shadows. He glanced up at Hadria.
She looked at him, and he looked away from her. Hadria had known him for a long time, and she would know that his frustration was not only about the Eduard situation.
“How are things with Nan,” she asked, as she tilted her head to the side.
“I’m not talking about Nan with you. I’m focusing on work and I expect you to to the same,” Cadric said in his sternest tone, but he should have known that Hadria wouldn’t heed it.
“You need to deal with her,” she said as she gave him a knowing look.
“Have you spoken with Eduard’s partner, Vince?” Cadric asked. If he dodged her questions long enough, perhaps she would give up. “We need to find out if Eduard gave any clues about what he planned to do or if he was behaving oddly.”
“I spoke with Vince, and he doesn’t know where Eduard is and hasn’t seen him since the start of his shift on the night he disappeared.”
“Did he say anything else?” Cadric pushed down his rising frustration. He’d hoped that Vince could tell them something that would help them find Eduard.
“He said that before he disappeared, Eduard was acting a little weird,” Hadria said.
“Why didn’t he come forward before?” Cadric asked as he sat up straight in his chair. “It would have been nice to know if he was acting strange before this all happened.”
“He said that there wasn’t anything specific that he could put his finger on, just a feeling that something wasn’t right about Eduard. He said something very interesting though, but you won’t like it.”
“Are you going to make me guess,” Cadric said when she didn’t say anymore. She licked her lips nervously and hesitated for a few moments. “Just spit it out Hadria.”
“He said the reason Simone was the only one alive from the warehouse was because of Eduard. He convinced them to spare her, despite orders to kill everyone in the warehouse that night.”
Cadric stared at Hadria in stunned silence. She could not have said that Vince believe they’d been ordered to kill everyone in the warehouse. He must have been mistaken because an order like that went against everything this organization stood for.
“How could they think that they did was ordered? It was a bloodbath, and I’m surprised the Eduard could convince anyone to spare Simone,” Cadric said, and he leaned forward in his chair as he looked at Hadria. She knew something else and didn’t want to tell him. He could read it in her face. “Who did he say gave the order?”
“Cadric,” she said as she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I know that despite what Vince says, there could not have been any such orders given.”
An icy finger traced a path down Cadric’s spine and he suppressed a shiver. She was trying to protect him from something, and he wanted to know what it was.
“Who did he say gave the order,” he asked again, and this time there was no mistaking the command in his voice. Hadria looked at him with an apology before she spoke.
“He says you did.”
Chapter 8
&n
bsp; Nan paced Baldr’s living room as she glanced out the window. Dusk was falling and there was no sign of her husband. He’d left her alone again, and she had mixed feelings about it. While she would rather not sit at the Order’s headquarters while he worked all day, she needed to be around him if she was going to convince him to give their marriage another chance. Being alone had given her too much time to dwell on the kiss they’d shared last night, and she didn’t think she could analyze it anymore.
She reached for the sweater hanging on the hook by the back door and walked out of the house. She needed air and to stretch her legs. The house was feeling distinctly claustrophobic and perhaps she could come up with a rational plan to deal with her husband if she was in the outdoors. A walk would do her some good, give her something else to focus on.
The air was crisp and autumn had arrived with the changing of the leaves and a light breeze stirred her hair. She stopped for a moment, the sudden stillness giving her pause. She looked around the yard, but there was nothing out of the ordinary, she was alone. Shaking her head, she started forward again. Dry leaves rustled around her as the wind picked up and she tightened the cardigan around her as she hugged her arms around her middle. A heavy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.
Perhaps going for a walk had not been the wisest thing she could have done. She turned to go back to the house and jumped, a small scream involuntarily coming out of her as she saw a shadowy figure standing behind her. He was close to the same size and build as her husband, but she knew immediately that it wasn’t Baldr, but Loki who stood behind her.
“Hi Nan,” he said, his voice an amiable rumble as he stepped into the light. “How are things?”
“What are you doing here,” Nan asked as she took a step back. Loki had a feral light in his eyes, and while he’d never been the most rational of beings, his time as Odin’s prisoner had only further pushed him into darkness.
“I could ask the same of you. What are you doing here Nan? Are you trying to ruin everything?”
Loki stalked toward her, and she moved back further, until she was against the rough bark of a tree and could evade him no further. She swallowed hard. There was an edge to Loki’s power, one she hadn’t felt when she’d freed him from his prison, and she wondered what he’d done during his time here to strengthen himself.
“I’m not trying to ruin anything. You were taking too long, and I decided that if I wanted my husband to come back to me I’d have to do it myself. I should have known that I couldn’t trust you and should never have freed you from your prison.”
It had seemed like a good idea in her anger over her husband's abandonment, to turn to the god who’d once been a friend to her. She’d known that before Baldr had come into her life that Loki had feelings for her, and she was not proud to admit to herself that it was those feelings she hoped he’d retained and he could get her husband back for her without her direct involvement. She should have known that Loki’s grudge against Baldr ran deeper, and what had started out as jealousy on Loki’s part, had been twisted and shaped during his imprisonment into a deep and poisonous hatred for the one who’d put him there.
“You will not interfere, Nan. You’ll get your husband back, don’t worry,” he said as he reached up to brush aside the lock of hair that stirred against her cheek. She jerked her face away, and he smirked at her as he lowered his hand.
“Baldr was not supposed to be hurt. You were to bring him back to me, but I specifically told you not to hurt him,” she said as anger at the god standing in front of her, with his mouth twisted in that cruel mockery of a smile, lanced through her. She pushed against him and he took a step back. The smile remained on his face, and she knew the only reason she’d moved him was because he allowed it.
“I’m doing what needs to be done, and I have no intention of hurting your husband, physically. You know that I can’t kill him outright, that he still retains his immortality, even if he is not as strong as he once was. I’m going to take the Order away from him, which will leave the way clear for you to console him and convince him to come back.”
She was tempted to let him do what he would. He was right, eliminating the Order from her husband’s life was exactly what would propel him permanently back into her life. Something nagged at her, a reason to hesitate. She remembered how her husband talked of the Order, how it had become a lifeline for him when he’d needed it the most. She didn’t know if she could live with herself if the only way she could have him was to cruelly rip something so important away from him.
“I’ve changed my mind. We can’t do this. Taking away the Order will hurt him more than I’m willing to allow.”
The smile slipped from Loki’s face as he took a step toward her.
“Sorry, no take backs,” he said, his voice soft with a cruel edge to it.
Nan licked her lips, desperate to think of a way to stop him from going through with this.
“I’ll tell him it’s you,” she said quietly. Her heart pounded in her chest as an angry flush crept up his cheeks and a snarl curled his lips. She did her best to stiffen her spine. His arm snaked out, and he grabbed her in a cruel grip.
He dragged her toward her until they were nose to nose, and his breath was hot on her face. She swallowed hard. What would he do to her now that his anger was up? She could see the madness and instability in his eyes. The creature standing so close to her was no longer the friend who’d held a special place for her in his heart.
“You tell on me and I’ll tell on you,” he growled at her. “You are in this as deeply as I am and you have much more to lose. You will lose any chance you had with your husband. He will never forgive you for this. Why, he might even be led to believe that taking the Order away from him was all your idea. How do you think he would react if he thought you took away the one thing that means as much to him as you used to? Do you think he’d welcome you back with open arms?”
A prickle formed in the back of her throat as she tried to tug her arm away from him, to no avail. A heavy, leaden ball settled in the pit of her stomach. He would give her husband just enough of the truth to allow him to believe his lies. She was well and truly caught in a trap of her own making.
“Enough,” she whispered.
“Oh, it is not nearly enough. I want to impress upon you the seriousness of what you’ve done because I don’t think you realize it. Your husband will never forgive you, but that is nothing compared to what Odin will do to you. When he finds out that you freed his greatest enemy, what he did to me for a thousand years will look like child’s play compared to what he’ll do to you.”
He shoved away from her, and she turned her back on him. She squeezed her eyes shut, cursing the impulsiveness that would be her downfall. She glanced behind her but he was gone.
She leaned against the tree, her face resting against its rough bark. Why had she done it? Why had she let her anger get the better of her? Loki was more powerful than he’d ever been, and he didn’t take kindly to being crossed. She’d conveniently forgotten that in her rush to strike a deal with him. There was no way out of this now. She knew that he would destroy both her and Baldr if she told her husband what she’d done.
* * *
“Why did you come in with me today?” Cadric asked.
Nan sat across from him in his office at Order headquarters. He’d been surprised when she’d asked to accompany him into the office, since she’d made it clear that she didn’t like this side of his life. Something was going on with her but he couldn’t get her to talk about it. She’d been pale and nervous when he’d arrived home last night, and when he asked her about it, she’d only said she was tired. He’d been left to his own devices for most of the evening, and he found that he missed her company.
“Are you anxious about staying home by yourself? Did something happen yesterday that I should know about?”
“For the last time, nothing happened yesterday,” she said as she looked up at him. She had an open expression on her face, but h
e could sense she was hiding something. “I want to know what it is about this place that holds such appeal for you. It must be something special that it would take you away from your family.”
“Nan,” he said, sighing. “I don’t want to go through this again. You know why I left. How many times do I need to apologize? I left and let you believe I was dead and it was a shitty thing to do. We need to move on from it, otherwise what is the point of spending time together.”
She sighed and looked down at her hands. “I know. I’m sorry for bringing it up again. Tell me what you do here, and why your work has become so important to you.”
He looked at her for a moment, waiting for another barb. She said nothing more and sat still in the chair waiting for his answer.
“The Order was set up to protect humans from supernatural creatures that hunt them. At first it was just me. Others joined me and we established cells in different regions. Now we not only protect humans, we also offer help to the supernatural community. We offer medical care, training opportunities and even employment to those who pledge their loyalty. I do good work here, and I want to continue to do so for as long as I’m able.”
“I know,” she said as she sighed and folded her fingers together in her lap. She glanced up and he could see a deep sadness in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly as he leaned forward in his chair. He longed to reach for her, to erase the sorrow he could see deep inside of her. He didn’t dare, since he was at work, and if he touched her he didn’t think he could stop himself from taking it further.
“I know you do good work here, and I can see that it fills you with purpose. How can I compete with that?”
“Nan,” he said, longing to assure her that there was no need for her to compete.
Before he could finish his thought, his office door swung open and a breathless Hadria stood on the other side of the threshold. Adrenaline shot through his body, and he was instantly alert. Hadria always knocked before coming into his office, and for her not to do so, meant that something happened that needed to be dealt with, now.
