“Oh no you won’t,” Makayla said with a vigorous shake of her head. “I’ll make sure you are not allowed to step foot into the hotel. You can rough it with the rest of the guys.”
Bennett saw Ethan grin. “So you expect me to spend the night roughing it? I’ll just go back to the house. I’m the favorite kid, so Mom and Dad will let me sleep there.”
“Pretty sure I’m the favorite,” Makayla stated. “The first to get married and bring a great new son into the family.”
“Actually, I think I’m the favorite,” Grace said. “After all, your mom agreed with me that we should be wearing poufy princess bridesmaid dresses.”
Bennett stared at Grace, an unexpected burst of happiness filling him at the smile on her face. “Nope. I’m definitely the favorite.”
“Is this a common debate?” Keenan asked, directing a look at Tami.
Tami laughed. “There are so many kids in that family that I would imagine that on any given day, the favorite changes.”
Keenan looked over at Bennett. “How many of you are there?”
“There are ten of us kids.” When Keenan’s eyes widened, Bennett went on to explain. “My mom and our step-dad, Steve, each had four kids when they got married and then they had two more. And then they’ve unofficially adopted a few along the way like Tami, Grace, and Ethan. We have an ever-expanding family.”
“There is always room for one more,” Makayla agreed. “Do you have family here, Keenan?”
Keenan shook his head. “Most my family lives in Chicago, but I’ve made my home here since this is where I’ve played football for five years now.”
“Well, if you need a family, let us know. We’re familiar with professional sports too since our brother, Kenton is in the NHL.”
Though Keenan had been part of the Bible Study for a few months, they hadn’t talked about family stuff too much, and Keenan’s schedule had kept him from being available for the family get-togethers. Keenan had proved to be a man of solid faith with lots of insights that Bennett appreciated. He’d enjoyed having the man in the study, and now it looked like he might become part of their social circle as well which Bennett thought would be great.
Keenan’s interaction with Grace earlier had also reinforced his admiration for the man. Honestly, anyone who treated Grace well was in Bennett’s good books.
“To go back to our original topic,” Ethan began when talk of their family trailed off. “Steve has actually helped me find a houseboat with enough space for all us guys. So we’ll be out on the water, and even though we’re not in luxury like the girls, we’ll be comfortable.”
“That sounds like fun,” Grace observed. “You’ll just have to make sure you get Ethan back to shore on time.”
“Maybe you should be worried that your groom is planning to spend his last night as a single man on something that would allow him to escape easily if he should get cold feet,” Bennett pointed out.
Makayla laughed. “Of all the details I’m worried about for this wedding, Ethan getting cold feet is not one of them. He’ll be there.”
The indulgent look on Ethan’s face supported Makayla’s claim. “Yes. I’ll be there.”
As the talk continued around the plans for the wedding, Bennett found himself watching Grace. He was glad that she was participating in the conversation even though her level of interaction was nowhere near what it would have been in the past. Baby steps, he supposed. But it was a sign to Bennett that Grace hadn’t been totally lost to her grief. It eased some of the concern he had carried over the past month.
After about half an hour later, Bennett saw Grace lay a hand on Makayla’s arm and then lean over to talk to her. Makayla nodded as she spoke then got to her feet, pulling Grace up as well.
When the others looked in their direction, Grace said, “I think I’m going to head for home. Thanks for the ice cream and brownie.” She walked over to where Tami sat, the other woman coming to her feet as Grace approached. They hugged for a long minute, Tami talking softly in her ear. Grace nodded then smiled at her as they stepped apart. “It was nice to meet you, Keenan.”
Keenan stood up, towering over Grace. “Can I give you a hug?” He grinned down at her. “I’m a huggy kinda person.”
Grace stepped closer to him and allowed herself to be embraced by the gentle giant. “Thank you.”
Bennett wished he could offer Grace a hug, but he was pretty sure that wouldn’t be welcome. He didn’t miss the look Keenan shot his way when Grace hugged everyone except him before making her exit from the apartment. Makayla went with her, returning a short time later, a thoughtful look on her face.
“She doing okay, babe?” Ethan asked when Makayla returned to her seat beside him. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
“Better, I think, but still struggling.”
“Losing a loved one is something you never truly get over,” Keenan said, his voice soft, his expression somber. “You just have to adjust to a life that includes memories of them instead of their presence.”
Tami rested a hand on his arm. “Who have you lost?”
Keenan’s gaze lowered. “Grandparents. Parents. A brother.”
“You sound like Grace,” Makayla observed. “She’s lost her grandparents and parents as well. It just doesn’t seem fair that now she’s lost her husband.”
“Life isn’t fair,” Keenan said. “Before she passed away my grandmother always told me to never ask why me but rather to ask why not me. It’s easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself when bad things happen, but we can choose to rise above those circumstances, to embrace the lesson we will be taught as we go through those dark and difficult times.”
“Grace has chosen to rise above what’s happened to her in the past, but I can’t help wonder if this one might just be too much,” Makayla said, a frown marring her features.
“We’ll just have to pray that it isn’t,” Keenan said, his determination clear. “I have been praying for her since hearing of Franklin’s death and will continue to do so. In fact, why don’t we pray for her right now?”
As the others nodded, Bennett leaned forward to brace his arms on his thighs, his hands clasped together, and bowed his head. For the next little while, each of them murmured prayers on Grace’s behalf, asking God to give her the strength to face life without Franklin. It was times like this that Bennett appreciated the friends and family God had blessed him with. He just hoped that Grace knew that each of them was there for her too.
Once the prayer time was over, Bennett got to his feet. “I think I’m going to head for home as well.”
“Me, too,” Keenan said. “Thank you for letting me join you all this evening.”
“I bet you didn’t expect this to be how our date ended,” Tami said as she smiled up at the man.
Keenan smiled back at her. “I thought I was just going to drop you off with a good night and hopefully a promise of another date. It’s been a great evening, and I’m still hoping to leave with that promise.”
“I think I can give you that,” Tami said as she bumped her shoulder against his upper arm because he was that much taller than her. “Let me walk you down.”
They all walked out of the apartment together, but Bennett walked down to the second floor with Tami and Keenan while Ethan lingered behind with Makayla. Bennett said goodbye to the couple when they continued down to the main floor.
In his own apartment, Bennett went to his fridge and grabbed a can of soda before heading to his computer. As he scrolled through his social media after checking his email, he saw a status update pop up from Grace.
So grateful for family, good friends, chocolate, ice cream, and pizza. Definitely in that order. <3
Seeing a positive status update from Grace gave Bennett a sense of relief. He’d thought she’d been enjoying the evening, but seeing proof of it in her own words was good. Of course he knew people could put one thing out on social media while something else was happening behind the s
cenes, but her words supported what he’d seen earlier at Makayla’s. She hadn’t posted a lot in the weeks since Franklin’s death, so he had no doubt she’d get a lot of support from her friends who saw her status.
Bennett couldn’t help but smile as he clicked the like button on her status.
6
Grace set her open laptop down on the bed beside her—Franklin’s side—then reached out to snap off the light on the nightstand. She turned over to stare at her Facebook page. Her profile picture was one that Makayla had taken of her when they’d been out at the lake earlier in the year—just a couple of weeks before the accident. She was laughing and looked truly happy. Part of her wanted to yell at her happy self. To tell herself to brace for the coming heartbreak.
Would she ever be that happy again?
Her cover photo was another one Makayla had taken at the same time as her profile one, but this one was of her and Franklin. They’d been sitting together, looking out at the water. Their times with the Callaghans and McFaddens had improved significantly when Franklin began to make positive changes in his life and attitude. She knew that they had all had issues originally with how Franklin treated her, but it hadn’t bothered Grace. It would only have mattered if she’d loved him. She was so glad for Franklin’s sake that he’d found peace, joy, and love in his life, but it would be hurting a whole lot less now if things hadn’t changed between them.
She couldn’t dwell on that, though. The fact was that they had enjoyed almost five good months together. She was grateful for that, but Franklin’s death had left her determined to never be vulnerable to feeling heartache like that ever again. It was bad enough that she’d be devastated if anything happened to Tami, Makayla or any of the Callaghan-McFadden family. There was no way she was going to compound that by allowing herself to love anyone else.
The next morning, however, as she once again found herself in the bathroom being sick, Grace was forced to accept that quite possibly she wasn’t going to have a choice in the matter. When the nausea finally eased, and she felt safe moving away from the toilet, Grace crawled on her knees over to the counter and reached out to grab the pregnancy test. Gripping it in her hand, she turned around and sat on the bathroom floor, her back against the vanity.
She inhaled and exhaled several times. It was time to face reality. A reality that could very well include being a single mother. For a moment, she wondered if she should call Makayla to come over. But them she realized that this was just the first of many things she was going to have to do on her own if this test was positive the way she thought it was likely to be.
Her hand trembled as she turned it over and opened her fingers to reveal the result on the wide stick.
Pregnant
3+
With a sigh that bordered on a sob, Grace let her head drop back against the vanity. What was she supposed to do now? She barely felt able to take care of herself these days. How could she take care of a helpless baby who would be totally dependent on her?
All she could think about was all the things she would need and what she’d have to do. How was she supposed to work and take care of a baby? She knew women did it all the time, but it hadn’t been part of her life plan to be a parent, let alone a single mom.
A new fear suddenly filled her. For so long, she’d feared losing those she loved, but now she wondered what would happen to her baby if something happened to her. And if her child was too young, they might not remember her. Grace’s memories of her own parents weren’t very clear anymore, and she had been ten when they’d passed away.
She tried to take a deep breath, but the tightness of her chest made it difficult. As thoughts and worries tumbled through her mind, Grace pulled her legs in and wrapped her arms around them.
She was turning into Makayla with all her anxiety over something that may or may not ever happen. Okay, the baby was apparently definitely happening, but she had some time to worry about everything else. She would have to just take it one day at a time.
If she could.
The bathroom floor began to hurt her butt, so Grace pushed up to her feet. Turning, she braced her hands on the vanity and stared into the mirror. The circles under her eyes seemed deeper than before, but other than that, she looked the same. Her life had changed irrevocably—again—and yet, in looking at herself, it seemed as if nothing had.
Unable to continue looking at herself, Grace straightened and grabbed an elastic to pull her hair back. With one last look in the mirror, she left the bathroom.
Since it was Saturday, Grace didn’t have to go to work, but she felt like she would go crazy if she stayed in the condo. She would have gladly ventured out into a yard if they’d had one or hung out with a neighbor if she had known any well enough, but since she didn’t, her only choices were to stay in the condo or go to a mall or a park. She wished that this was a weekend that they’d planned to go to the lake. It would have been a great distraction, and she actually found herself craving the feel of the sunshine on her face. The breeze in her hair.
Without really thinking more about where to go, she got herself ready and left the condo. Sunshine greeted her, and the warmth of the day embraced her. It wasn’t until she was pulling out of the underground parking at their building that a destination came to mind. She made a quick stop along the way, then pointed the SUV toward the north part of the city.
Before too long, she pulled through the open wrought iron gate of the cemetery where Franklin was buried. It had been a little over a month. A month during which her world had changed not once, but twice. Franklin should have been there to share it with her, but instead, she had to walk across freshly mowed grass toward a temporary grave marker.
She sank onto the grass at the side of the plot. The outline of the grave opening was still faintly evident, but the flowers from the internment had been cleared away. As she stared at the marker, she let out a long breath.
Franklin Moore
The black granite headstone, when it was ready, would also read: Beloved husband.
And now he had one more role, even in his absence. Father.
“We’re gonna be parents,” Grace said as she laid the small bouquet of flowers in front of the grave marker. “I hope I can do this without you.” She tipped her head back and stared up at the cloudless sky. She knew that it was only Franklin’s body in that grave and that he had another purpose in heaven that didn’t include being aware of what was going on in her life, but she hoped that he knew. Pressing a hand to her stomach, she hoped with all her heart that he knew that he would live on in their son or daughter. “I miss you so much.”
She found as she said the words that they were truer than they would have been a year ago. Tears pricked against her eyes and threatened to spill over. She hadn’t understood why God had taken Franklin to begin with, but she had that question even more now that she knew about the life they’d created together. Though she hadn’t asked the question aloud of anyone, it was definitely on her mind each and every day since his totally unexpected death.
Would she ever be at peace about this?
It just felt like her life had been ripped in half. A life interrupted. They hadn’t had the chance to fully experience the love that had been slowly growing between them. Most people wouldn’t—hadn’t—understood why she and Franklin had married, but they’d both had their reasons. It was in the same way that people wouldn’t understand how things had been changing between them in the past six months. Now it felt like a story unfinished…
Grace’s fingers curled into the grass by her leg. Her life was just one unfinished story. As a daughter. As a granddaughter. As a wife. Every relationship she’d had except friend had ended before it’s time. And now there was a new fear—the fear that the role of mother would also be cut short. She didn’t think she could handle that one more time.
She stared at the grave for a bit more, wishing she had some assurances. Something that would help her face the days ahead without fear.
It wasn
’t until her shoulders started to heat under the sunlight that Grace realized she’d been sitting there for awhile. With a sigh, she got to her feet, brushing the grass from the seat of her capris. She let her hand rest on the marker for a second then headed back to her car. Instead of going home, she headed to the nearest mall and started to wander, not too surprised when she found herself in the baby section of one of the stores, looking at the furniture and clothing.
She didn’t plan to buy anything, but it seemed like maybe this could be the first step to accepting the new direction in which her life was now headed
The next morning, Grace decided to go to church. She’d been attending the same church as Makayla and her family since shortly before her grandmother’s death, but it was the first time she’d gone since Franklin’s death. She just hadn’t been prepared to face people outside of her small social circle.
It took her awhile to decide what to wear. She felt like people were going to be judging her on what she chose. Too bright and she wasn’t mourning Franklin properly. Too dark and she was depressed. In the end, she settled on a pair of white capris and a navy blouse with a fitted bodice and capped sleeves. She skipped any jewelry aside from her wedding ring. Her makeup was just enough to cover the circles under her eyes, and she just left her hair curly instead of straightening it like she usually did.
She’d barely stepped into the foyer of the church before someone approached her to offer their condolences. Several more came alongside her as she made her way toward the sanctuary. She appreciated that people were praying for her and wanted to know how she was, but it was a bit overwhelming. All she wanted was to worship and be fed spiritually. And maybe to find some assurance that her life was going to be okay.
“Good morning, Grace.” She looked up to see Bennett standing beside her, concern on his face. “Are you going in for this service?”
She nodded, grateful that he had engaged her in conversation. Maybe it would keep others from approaching her for a few minutes. She just needed a bit of a break. “Do you know if Makayla is here?”
For the Love of Grace: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 2) Page 6
