Hardened

by Ashe Barker

  There might be a glimmer of hope after all.

  Chapter Eleven

  I spot him, beyond the barriers. Jared is here, waiting for me, as he promised he would be.

  My bag is heavy, I packed enough for a stay of several days, though I wasn’t really sure how wise that might be. For all I know I could find myself hopping on the next train back to London. Jared really shocked me, shattered my growing trust in him and confidence in myself. I was actually scared of him for a few moments, and angry too. I resented that he would treat me that way. It was not so much what he said—that was little enough, on reflection—but more his callous dismissal of my desire to be supportive.

  He fucked me in the most intimate way I can imagine, then because I spoke out of turn he snapped at me, wished me a nice life, and just walked out.

  I was humiliated, but it was more than that. I felt stupid, naïve, and vaguely as though I’d been used. It was not a good feeling, not good at all. I never want to feel like that again

  I’d thought we had something. Our relationship was fragile, embryonic, but precious and filled with potential. Maybe it still is, but I’m less certain of that now. There’s so much at stake here for me. Dare I trust Jared with my emotions and more besides?

  I draw in a deep breath and start to drag my hold-all along the platform toward the ticket barrier. I may have my doubts now but there’s only one way to find out what’s really going on between us—just sex as we agreed, or perhaps a little more than that.

  Jared promised me that what happened on Sunday won’t happen again and if I didn’t at least try to give him the benefit of the doubt I could well spend the rest of my life wondering about what might have been. I set my bag down and shove my ticket into the slot at the barrier and the gates open. Before I can grasp my bag again Jared has leaned in to take it from me. He hoists it onto his shoulder, then wraps the other arm around me.

  “Thank you for coming.” He cocks his head to one side, questioning.

  I reach up on tiptoe to kiss him on the mouth. I’m here, and I didn’t come all this way to sulk.

  Jared returns my kiss, his tongue spearing into my mouth as I cling to him. I so want this to work.

  He breaks the kiss to nuzzle my neck. “It’s good to see you, Molly mine.”

  “You too, sir,” I whisper. And I mean it.

  * * *

  “Should I undress?” I ask the question as soon as we arrive back at Jared’s lovely converted barn. I’d almost forgotten how stunning this place is, rugged, isolated, windswept, but once inside with the doors closed his home is cosy and comfortable too. And spacious. We’re surrounded on all sides by wild, rolling hills dotted with weird, towering rock configurations. I got my first proper look at the unearthly but beautiful Brimham Rocks landscape as we drove up to the house, and I hope we’ll find time to go out and explore while I’m here. First things first though. I peer up at Jared expectantly as I wait for my next instruction.

  “An attractive offer, and usually I’d say yes, that is what I expect as soon as we’re alone. But I wonder if we need to talk first.”

  “Talk, sir?” I meet his gaze. Jared appears troubled, uncertain. It’s not a look I like on him. I hope he isn’t having second thoughts about me, about this thing we’re doing together. “I thought we settled our argument. I promised not to pry.”

  “Sweetheart, I don’t mean that. I thought perhaps you might have things you need to say to me, things to ask me?”

  I shake my head. “No, sir. I just want to put all that behind us and move on.”

  He steps forward to cradle my face between his hands. “You know I meant it, don’t you? What happened at your flat was out of character. I promise not to behave like that around you again.”

  “I know that, sir.”

  “As your dom, I will be displeased with you sometimes, and I’ll punish you. But not for asking questions. Disrespect, disobedience, not being honest with me—all of those will earn you a spanking, but curiosity won’t.”

  “I don’t mind the spanking, sir. That was what I liked about you in the first place, if you recall, back at Armley. I was having a bad day, but as an officer I could have—should have—been more sympathetic to your needs. Afterwards I felt bad about your gym session, guilty for letting you down, and you made it all go away when you spanked me.”

  He smiles. “I do indeed recall. And I loved the way you responded to a decent spanking. Who would have known what was hiding beneath that uniform of yours?”

  “You knew.”

  “Maybe, yes. I suppose I guessed. And now, do you still feel the same way? Are you ready to trust me again?”

  “You scared me on Sunday, but it’s over now and I do know you wouldn’t harm me. But…” I hesitate. Can I, should I, share with him what hurt me the most?

  “Molly? Tell me.” His tone is gentle, but I know he expects the truth, all of it.

  “I hated that you left. You just said it had been nice meeting me again, then you left me. That really hurt. I missed you.” His handsome face shimmers before my eyes as tears start to form.

  “Baby, I know that. I saw it, then, but I was too much of a bastard to put it right straight away. Let me make amends now.”

  “It’s over, and you did come back, sort of. You phoned me.”

  “I regretted it, almost before I got to the end of your road. You have my word, however much you might piss me off, I’ll never walk out on you. We talk, and we carry on talking until it’s sorted.”

  “Or you could just spank me.”

  “I could. That’d work for me.”

  “And me. That’s what I want now, sir. It’s what I need from you.”

  “I was the one in the wrong.”

  “I don’t want to spank you, sir.”

  He grins, his expression lightening now. “Thank God for that, because it’s not happening.”

  “So, shall I undress now?”

  He releases me and steps back, his warm smile fading to be replaced by his stern dom persona. Something clenches and twists deep in my abdomen.

  “Please do, Molly. Upstairs, in my bedroom.”

  I almost skip up the stairs. This is going to be fine, I just know it.

  Jared follows me, and closes the bedroom door behind us. He leans back on it to watch as I remove my clothes.

  “I’d like you to fold all your things neatly and place them out of the way. Then, when you’re ready, bend over the foot of the bed.” He leans against the door to watch as I obey his instructions. “Put a couple of pillows under you as well, to lift your bum up a little more. I’m thinking a decent hand spanking to get you in the mood, then perhaps a few strokes with a crop. I have one that’s nice and stingy, should leave some very pretty stripes.”

  My pussy clenches. That sounds wonderful. I grab three pillows from the head of Jared’s bed and arrange them at the bottom, then drape my nude body over them. I look back over my shoulder as Jared eases himself off the door and comes forward. He caresses my upturned buttocks as he passes me to open his box of kinky toys.

  The crop he selects is made of brown leather, plaited along most of the length, with a short tail at the tip. He flexes it between his hands then lays it beside me on the bed.

  “We’ll get to that later. First things first. You ready, Molly?”

  “Yes, sir.” I’m already sinking into that pleasant, hazy place that only Jared seems able to find for me, and he has yet to properly touch me.

  He stands behind me and caresses my bottom again, rubbing large, lazy circles across my quivering skin. I lift up to press my buttocks into his palm, and it’s all I can do not to purr.

  The first slap is sharp, landing on my right buttock, the sound reverberating around the quiet room. He follows it by palming my tingling cheek, stroking the pain away. Soon the discomfort dissipates and I squirm under his sensual caress.

  The next slap falls on my left cheek, and he repeats the soothi
ng caress. He continues to slap then stroke, alternating between pain and pleasure until I can no longer separate the two. The spanks are getting harder, enough to bring me up onto my toes, but I crave more. I lift up my bottom, offering a better target, and I spread my thighs hopefully.

  “Getting wet, Molly?” He swipes his open palm over the length of my pussy then examines his damp hand. “Oh, I see you are. By the way you’re opening for me and drooling all over my pillows I think perhaps you’re hoping I might finger-fuck you before we finish your spanking. Is that right?”

  “No, sir. I mean… yes, if you like.” I’m stammering, almost incoherent with lust.

  “If I like? I was asking what you want.”

  “I want you to finger-fuck me, please.” I open my thighs a little wider.

  “Reach back, pull your arse cheeks apart for me.”

  “Oh!”

  “Do it, Molly. I will finger-fuck you, since you’ve asked me so politely, but I prefer your arse right now. Show me your pretty little arsehole and invite me to fill it with my fingers.”

  When he puts it like that, I see no serious objections. I grasp my smarting buttocks in my palms and pull them apart to expose my tight pucker.

  “How many fingers do you want?”

  “Could I have three, sir?”

  “Ambitious, Molly. We’ll work up to three though, if you like.”

  He steps away for a moment to get a tube of lubricant from his box of tricks, then I gasp as he squirts some directly onto my arsehole. He places his fingertip at my entrance, works it around for a few seconds, then he pushes. The pressure is firm enough to gain entry, and as instinct kicks in, I push back against him to take the length of his finger inside me.

  “Oh, God, that feels so good,” I moan, gyrating my hips around his invading digit.

  He twists his hand to swirl his finger inside me, then slides another in alongside it. I can feel the tension, the stretching of my entrance, but the sensation is one of intimate arousal, not discomfort. He pulls back, then thrusts his fingers in again, filling me. He scissors them to rub against my inner walls, the friction sending me into a writhing, squirming state of ecstasy.

  “I need to come, sir.”

  “Do you?”

  “Sir…” I can hear the pleading in my tone, hope that he’ll take pity.

  He does. His other hand connects with my clit, his finger flicking the swollen nub at the same time he sinks his thumb into my wet cunt. My orgasm is instant, my pussy and arse convulsing around his fingers. He thrusts, strokes, teases, and presses as my climax turns my muscles to liquid. I sag onto the pillows, moaning and gasping as my body shudders under the onslaught of pleasure.

  As the tremors subside and my head clears a little, Jared withdraws his fingers from my body. “Was that good, little sub?”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you,” I murmur.

  “Good. So, back to your spanking, I think.”

  I nod my assent, still quivering as the last pulses of delight shimmer through my boneless limbs.

  “Words, please, Molly. And you can move your hands now. Tuck them underneath you, out of the way.”

  I’m still gripping my buttocks, though I have no idea how when the rest of my body seems to have dissolved into a slushy mess. I do as he tells me and fold my hands under my chin. “Yes, sir, I still want the spanking.” I plant my feet on the carpet as best I can and raise up my bottom in confirmation.

  Jared chuckles and picks up the crop.

  I hear the soft whistle an instant before the leather connects with my right buttock. I yelp and kick up my heels as the pain ricochets through me. It was more than I anticipated; sharper, hotter, much more intense than his hand.

  “Be still, Molly. You can shriek if you like, there’s no one to hear you except me, but I expect you not to move. If it’s too much you can use your safeword.”

  “I’m sorry, sir.”

  “You want to continue?”

  “Oh, yes, yes I do. It was just a bit of a shock.”

  “If you think you’ll be a wriggler, just tell me and I can use restraints to help you. It’s important that you remain very still though. For one thing it demonstrates your submission and I want to see that, to know you’re allowing me to do this to you of your own free will. And for another I wouldn’t want to injure you by accident. A spanking crop isn’t especially dangerous, but if I was using a cane things would be different.”

  “A cane?”

  “Maybe. Another time, if you want to. So, do I need to find some cuffs for your ankles?”

  “No, sir. I won’t move, I promise.” I stiffen my body, bracing for the next stroke and determined not to get this wrong again.

  “You’ve gone rigid, Molly. Are you sure you’re all right with this?”

  “Yes, sir. It’s just so new, that’s all. I do want to carry on.”

  “I’m going to use restraints so you don’t have to concentrate on anything but the spanking, okay? It’s best, this time.”

  “But sir, I want to do this.” I turn my head to face him, expecting to encounter disappointment or exasperation in his face, but all I find there is concern and compassion.

  He crouches beside me, his face now inches from mine. “I know that, love, and it’s my responsibility to make sure it works out well for you. I want you to relax and enjoy what I’m able to offer, not spend the entire scene tensing up in case you make a mistake. So you’ll let me help you? Yes?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure. And I do know best.”

  “Okay then. Just to keep my feet still…”

  He nods then stands and returns to his chest to select ankle cuffs. He crouches behind me and quickly secures a leather band around each ankle, then attaches them to a rail at the bottom of the bed close to the floor. I try an experimental kick and find my feet won’t move at all. So far so good. I turn to face him again.

  “I wonder, would you fasten my hands too? Just in case.”

  “Of course.” He smiles at me again. “It’s good that you asked me, shows you’re learning to trust me, and yourself. Stretch your arms out to the sides.”

  I do as he tells me while Jared finds a set of smaller cuffs for my wrists. In moments they too are buckled into the warm leather bands, which Jared clips to rings set into the sides of the bed. I’m stretched out, spread-eagled face down on the bed, ready for whatever comes my way.

  Jared picks up the crop and takes up his position behind me. He waits, saying nothing, but allowing me the moments I need to collect my thoughts and settle. The breathy swish of shifting air heralds the next stroke.

  “Aagh!” I scream and jerk in my restraints. Pain sears my bottom, but I am soaring, exalted by the heady impact, pain and pleasure blended together in a rich, seductive cocktail of sensation.

  “Okay?” Jared waits again, unhurried.

  “Yes, sir. More, please.” I’m trembling, quivering with need, anticipation, lust.

  “More coming up. Remember, ‘cooler’ is your slow down safeword, ‘jailbird’ means I’ll stop.”

  “I know. I’m all right though, really. I love this, sir.”

  “Good to know. Just checking.”

  The next few strokes send me flying again. Pain envelops me, pleasure wraps around my senses, confusing, sharpening, muting. I scream and jolt with each one, secure that he has me, that Jared is in control. My vision blurs, I can hear Jared’s voice, soft and low, but as though it’s reaching me from a distance. His words are hard to make out, but nothing of that matters to me as long as he doesn’t stop.

  The crop carries on its glorious work, each stroke an exquisite caress, branding my tender skin. I writhe and moan, turning my hips to better catch each stripe. The spanking may have slowed. I’m uncertain, struggling to separate one stroke from another. I can still feel, but it’s all merging, blending until everything coalesces into one sensual hum.

  I’m aware, dimly, that Jared
has stopped using the crop. His hands are on me now, but not spanking. He’s stroking my inflamed buttocks, rubbing in the pain as though to massage it right into my muscles and flesh. It sinks in, then transforms into a different sensation, something light and tingly, tantalising yet incredibly satisfying too. He caresses away the discomfort to create a rich, warm languor. I stretch my bound limbs, sinking into a sated, contented haze.

  “I want you to fuck me, sir. I need you inside me.” The words are mine, but I wonder I can find the energy to express my needs.

  “I need to be inside you. You’ll come on my cock, my sweet slut.”

  “Yes, sir. Anything…”

  He pushes my thighs apart, and I realise he must have freed my ankles. My wrists are still secured to the bed. Jared lifts one of my knees and places it on the mattress, opening me more fully. The punished skin on my buttocks stretches, the discomfort a sharp reminder of the spanking. I wriggle, seeking more of that, as Jared lifts my other knee. His fingers are inside me, testing my readiness. The sounds of hot, wet pussy are unmistakable. I squeeze my inner walls around his fingers, but what I really need is his cock.

  Seconds later, he’s there, poised at my entrance, then he drives forward to bury his erection in my channel. I let out a deep, satisfied moan and rotate my hips in silent thanks. Jared pulls back, then thrusts again, the angle allowing him to fill me utterly. I’m panting, bobbing my hips up and down as I seek more friction, greater penetration, an intensity I crave more than air to breathe. Jared seems to know, setting up a fast, demanding rhythm as he fucks me hard, then harder still.

  My orgasm grips me. I should seek permission, but I can’t find words. It happens anyway, and Jared seems content with it, reaching around me to stroke my clit as my pussy convulses around his thick length. Seconds later he drives deep again, then holds still as his cock jerks violently inside me. He swears under his breath, something wonderfully obscene as he comes too. I’m still shaking when he reaches to free my wrists, first the right, then the left, then he rolls to the side taking me with him, his cock still embedded within my clinging channel.