by A. J. Downey
For another thing, I was surprised to find that very few of them smoked. Dragon really being the only one who stuck primarily to paper and tobacco cigarettes. Trigger had an almost ever-present electronic cigarette, and Data could usually be seen sucking on one of those vaping mechanisms that always reminded me of the piece the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland was constantly sucking on. The club though, while Dragon smoked inside, was relatively easy and clean breathing, well-ventilated for one, and that’s when it struck me… the place was immaculately kept.
There was no fetid beer and alcohol spills on the floor, the furniture was all in good shape, even if a few of the pieces were aged or outdated. The building didn’t have sloppily done paint in here, or graffiti like The Suicide Kings. This place, these people in this place treated everything and everyone with respect, and the surroundings and their appearances reflected that.
“You look like you just had an epiphany.” Thirteen commented dryly.
“I think I did.”
“Care to share?” he took my leather jacket and hoodie from my hands and held it so I could slip in to the pairing, and I stared for a long, hard moment at his work-rough hands holding the black cotton and leather.
“Dani, you okay?” he asked, concern wrinkling his brow.
“No one’s ever held my coat for me,” I said and turned and let him help me in to it.
“No one? Ever?” He asked surprised.
I shook my head, “Not that I can remember.”
“That part of whatever you were thinking?” he asked. I nodded and he smiled, “Get used to it, Rocket. Life is gonna get a whole lot better for you from here.”
“We ready to go, or what?” Rush demanded. Nox smiled ruefully to himself and held open the front door. Men started piling out into the bright morning sunlight and I slipped the big, bug-eyed sunglasses out of the inside of my jacket pocket and put them on. As I stepped out into the bright sun there was some laughter.
“Those look ridiculous,” someone commented.
“I agree, I hate them but they’re the only pair I have and I needed something to hide the shiners,” the chuckles stopped abruptly and I sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a killjoy…”
“Hey, stop,” Thirteen had me face him, a grave expression on his face. “One of the things I love about you is that you’re always two or three steps ahead, that you think about everything, and everything you do has a purpose if not two. I’ve seen it, I know it, and you’re doing just fine.” He shook me gently.
“Can we get a move on, please!?” Rush called through the passenger-side window of a panel van, Nox at the wheel.
“I think I’m beginning to understand how he got his road name,” I heard Dray gripe behind me. I smiled and bit my lower lip.
“Yes, please, let’s go,” I chuckled. I rode in the box truck. Disney drove, Thirteen sitting still beside me. He’d taken the middle so I could look out the window, but truthfully I think it was more so I didn’t have to sit beside someone unfamiliar.
We were in the lead, the panel van behind us, one or two other Sacred Hearts following on their bikes. The truck and van were more than enough to fit everything. I wasn’t taking anything but my grandfather’s equipment; I didn’t care about anything else. I’d already packed the clothes I’d wanted to keep and the photos and mementos I’d managed to keep out of Pig’s hands. He’d sold off most of my jewelry for drugs or what have you, except for the few heirloom pieces I’d managed to hide away under a piece of loose baseboard.
Thirteen held my hand as we rode and I gave Disney directions, our fingers intertwined and resting atop my denim-clad thigh. It was nice, I wasn’t used to having my hand held or public displays of affection. I wasn’t used to affection at all really. I thought that my chance at this, at any kind of happiness, had died with Jared until I found an outlet through my jewelry making. That was honestly the only thing about leaving my old life behind that I thought I was going to miss and now, here we were, going to get it. I smiled and hope bloomed in my chest. Thirteen looked over and down at me, and his face lightened and a smile broke out over his lips at the sight of mine. He raised my hand to his mouth and kissed the back and I caught Disney smiling faintly in the driver’s seat.
“You have someone?” I asked him.
His smile got wider, “Yeah, name is Aaron.” He said.
“She must be really special,” I commented, and Disney’s face flamed.
“Uh, he is,” he said and Thirteen laughed.
“Aaron, Baby. As in A-A-R-O-N.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry! I just assumed you meant E-R-I-N, as in the female spelling.” I was blushing hard now and Disney broke out into a wide grin. He proceeded to tell me all about Aaron and how he had been on the West coast in California to play in an orchestra that was doing the score for a movie. About how he was excited that he would be seeing him soon because after California he’d joined the rest of the Ol’ Ladies in Florida.
I grinned, “Griz was pissed about that. He didn’t know where you’d sent them. I figured that you’d sent them to wherever the other MC at your lake run came from. Their leader seemed really close to the demon.” Both men’s heads swiveled in my direction, matching looks of surprise on their faces.
“What?” I asked.
Disney looked decisive, “Look, I saw him that night too but Reaver, he ain’t like that all the time. He was my mentor when I was a prospect and he’s a really good guy and good friend. The girl that Sparks hurt that night was Reaver’s baby cousin so yeah, he kind of went off the rails. Believe me, it scared even me. Just… do me a solid? Don’t let him hear you call him that, please? It’d really hurt his feelings.” I was embarrassed. When all the pieces were together, it was a different situation.
“I’m not saying Reaver isn’t fucked up, or scary… he’s both of those things in spades, I’m just saying that underneath it all he’s more good than bad. He loves Hayden, Sunshine - Hell, all of the girls, and he loves this club. He’d do anything for any of us and he’s loyal to a fault. Just wait until you get to see those things before passing any judgment.”
By now I’d fixed my gaze out the window, turning all of these things over in my head, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth as I thought about it. Reaver was trying awfully hard to get on my good side, spending time around me, volunteering to do things to make my stay more comfortable, by giving me what was supposedly his favorite knife, which I gripped with the hand that Thirteen wasn’t holding. Still, all of those things served to make me more suspicious of his motives. Not less. I felt a nagging worry in the back of my mind that my suspicion said much more about me than his kindness thus far said about him.
“Pull up here. The one with the green awning.” Thirteen said, and I realized with a jolt that we’d completed the ride in silence, that we were here and I’d spent the entire rest of the trip puzzling out the conundrum of: what was the real Reaver? Man or monster? I was still thinking about it when I slipped out of the truck, my Converse thudding against the cracked sidewalk. Thirteen scooted over and I glanced up at him.
“What happened to staying in the truck?” I asked. He gave me an impish grin and stilled.
“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave me a little half-assed salute and I smiled. Rush was opening up the back of the van and I opened and propped the gate into the courtyard.
“So what’re we taking and what’re we leaving?” Trigger asked me, following me through the gate. I fished my keys out of my pocket and went to the workshop shed in the corner of the courtyard, sliding the correct key into the master lock holding the hasp on the door closed. I flung open the door and breathed out, letting loose the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Everything was exactly how I’d left it.
“Everything in here. The Kiln, the centrifugal casting machine, just all of it. The wax, the plaster, everything wall to wall.” I said. “The rest of it is upstairs in my apartment.” I stepped aside to let Trigger and Revelator past me. There was a l
ot of equipment in here. In addition to what I used to melt and smelt, there were various cutting and polishing machines, and surfaces for stones.
Revelator gave a low whistle, “You’re serious about this shit. You ain’t playin’!” he said. I smiled and put my sunglasses up onto my forehead.
“My grand-père taught me everything he knew, and I made up a few things of my own. I wish I could show you how it’s done, or something that I’ve made, but I took all of that with me seeing as it was both valuable and portable. I didn’t think I would see any of this stuff again.” I felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude for their help in this.
“We’ll get you taken care of down here. Why don’t you show Blue and Reave what’s what upstairs while we get this started? Reave ain’t supposed to be lifting anything too heavy yet but maybe you can put him to work boxing shit up or something.” I raised my eyebrows and Trigger laughed. “He’s my best friend, just lookin’ out for him,” he explained. I filed this away with everything else I’d learned about Reaver in the last hour and still had a hard time with equating that this highly lauded individual was the same crazy, blood-covered man I’d seen just this last summer.
I went out and up the stairs to my apartment, pondering just how different this MC operated from The Suicide Kings. I didn’t notice when Blue paused in the courtyard to retie the lace on his work boot. I just went up the metal and concrete stairs and fit my key first in the deadbolt’s lock and then in the lock in the knob, throwing back the tumblers. I opened my front door and stepped through into the dim interior of my apartment.
I didn’t know, I didn’t think, and it cost me when thick fingers snagged me by the back of the hair. He was in the kitchen, he must have heard the key in the lock, but Pig-Pen had me fast and was growling out, “Bitch! Where the fuck have you been!?” I cried out as he steered me toward the dining room table, his fist knotted in my hair and the other gripping my arm with bruising force. I ground my teeth together, eyes watering from the pain as he slammed me face-down across the dining table’s gleaming, dark wood surface.
“Answer me!” he demanded shaking me. His hand left my arm and I knew where it was going. He pinned me fast between his body and the table, keeping control of my head as he fumbled at his belt. He was shirtless and there was no telling how long he’d been here but I knew I was in trouble. I put both palms flat against the table but he was too much. I tried to push myself up, but he was too strong, and my hands just slid against the high-polished wood.
Suddenly the pressure on me lifted and my scalp smarted terribly as he pulled me up by my hair. I screamed and he turned me around, gripping me by the throat. I knew what he had planned. I was wearing jeans, and face-down there was no access. I glared at him and both my hands went to the one wrapped in my hair.
“What, you going to fight me?” he asked close to my face, then he licked me, from my chin up my cheek to my temple, “Go on an’ fight, fucking turns me on when you struggle,” he said and he let go of my throat, his hand going to the front of my jeans. He froze, about the time I heard the hammer cock back on a gun.
“You know, my buddy Blue here has a twitchy trigger finger. I’d let her go if I were you.” Thirteen’s voice was as cold and dispassionate as I had ever heard it. Pig-Pen’s head was shoved forward.
“Okay, let me rephrase because it wasn’t really a suggestion. Let. Her. Go.” Pig let me go and I stumbled a pace or two away from him. Blue had a gun to the back of Pig’s head and Thirteen stood in the doorway to my apartment, chest heaving, arm tight to his ribs, Trigger at his back.
“Shoot him!” I blurted, “Please, for the love of God, shoot him!” Blue blurred, and I stumbled over to Thirteen, who had his hand out for me. He pulled me into his side and leaned on me. Pig-Pen smirked.
“Not sure how you’re alive,” he intoned.
“You think that’s a neat trick!” we heard, and Thirteen moved me and himself aside. Trigger turned sideways in the doorway and Reaver stepped into the apartment past him. Pig scowled, but not before I saw the glint of fear in his eyes. Reaver grinned from ear to ear.
“Hey, Dani, nice area rug! Mind if we take it with us?” Reaver asked me, entirely too cheerful.
“If you promise to kill him,” I said looking Pig-Pen square in the eye. Reaver’s expression turned icy cold, in a blink, just nobody home.
“Oh I don’t think any of us is going to have a problem with that, Baby,” he said and gave a nod to Blue. Pig-Pen sneered but never got the chance to say anything because Blue hit him with the butt of his gun so hard I could swear he broke Pig’s skull. Pig dropped like a stone, sprawling half in my kitchen and half in my entryway. I closed my eyes and huddled into Thirteen’s side miserably. He grunted and I went to pull back, but his arm tightened around me.
“You’re okay, Rocket. I got you,” he said, and I nodded.
“You gotta move,” Trigger said, and I opened my eyes and let Thirteen take me outside. It took Blue, Trigger, and Revelator to carry my area rug down to the van. Thirteen kissed the top of my head and palmed my cheek.
“I need to go with Reaver, you gonna be okay here with Trig and Rev and the rest of the guys?” he asked me. I pulled on my big girl panties and nodded.
“Kiss me.” He ordered, and I looked up into his green-blue eyes and complied. He broke the kiss gently and kissed my forehead.
“You solid?” Dragon asked me, leaning against the stair rail. I nodded numbly and he looked at Thirteen.
“You and Reave head to Point Nowhere in the van. Duracell, Blue, you follow ‘em. We’ll finish up here and come meet you.” Dragon gave a meaningful look to Reaver. “Don’t mind if you get carried away,” he said and Reaver nodded and I saw the most peculiar thing. A look that was half gleeful anticipation and half crushing remorse or defeat flickered through his bright blue eyes.
“I really want to go wash my face,” I murmured and all eyes turned to me, “He licked it. Right before he told me to fight him harder.” I felt queasy, and Reaver and everyone else’s expressions crushed into dark frowns.
“Can I borrow my old, new very favorite knife?” I reached into my pocket and held it out to him.
“Thanks.” He held it up in front of my face.
“I give this back to you, you know you never have to worry about him again.” I blinked, but before I could say anything, Reaver was headed down the stairs. Thirteen let me go and, with a final squeeze of my hand, went down the stairs slowly after him.
I went into my bathroom and washed my face something like six times but it wasn’t good enough. Finally I gave up, stripped down, and got into my shower, practically living in it until I ran out of both soap and hot water. When I got out I was a prune but didn’t care. I dried off with my towels and got back into my clothes, and when I went out into the living room it was to find that my workbench was gone. The living room looking very empty without it or the area rug in it.
“Feel better?” Trigger asked.
“Yes and no.”
“We’re ready to go when you are, Rocket,” Revelator said, shrugging his massive shoulders, his fists buried deep in his jacket pockets.
“Did you get it all?” I asked.
“Every damned bit of it’s boxed and in the truck. Just waiting on you to give the word on if there’s anything else.”
I looked around me. “I grew up here. Just me and my grand-père,” I murmured.
“You want we should take it all?” Dragon asked from the front door. “It’d take a couple of trips, but we can do it.”
I looked around me, “Is it crazy that I want you to burn it? I don’t want any possibility of coming back to this life… None.”
The president of The Sacred Hearts exchanged looks with Trigger and Revelator before settling his dark gaze back on me.
“You sure about that?” he asked.
“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“Go wait down at the truck with Disney, Nox, and Rush. Rev, go with her, make su
re she’s straight.” Revelator walked up to me and nudged me with his shoulder, he didn’t grab me or turn me or do anything, just walked up and bumped his shoulder lightly in to mine. I turned around and went down the stairs, peeking into the shed to make sure nothing important was being left behind. Assured that there wasn’t, I slipped out the gate and onto the cracked sidewalk.
“That it, then?” Disney asked, his brown eyes travelling over me concerned, noting my wet hair.
“That’s everything,” I promised.
“You good with riding with me or Trig or someone on back of one of the bikes?” Rev asked. I smiled faintly.
“I will gladly save one of your male egos from having to sit bitch for one of your brothers,” Rev’s eyes sparkled with mirth.
“Nah, I would’ve just had Dis be my bitch, he’s used to it. Ain’t you, Puddin’!?” Disney glared but couldn’t fight it and broke into a grin.
“Man, fuck you! I keep telling you, you aren’t my type.” Rev laughed, and Nox and Rush shifted a bit, obviously uncomfortable.
Revelator tsked, “Man, what’d Dragon tell you two when you came on board? Shit, Grinder didn’t have a problem with it.” He crossed his arms which, with as big and built out as he was, was a touch awkward on his frame.
“Rev, Dude, its fine,” Disney said and looked uncomfortable himself.
“No it ain’t, Dis…”
“Stop,” I felt my shoulders drop and I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Just, stop right there.” The four of them considered me.
“Grinder is the one Ace and Deuce ran off the road?” I knew it but I wanted Rev to see my point, Rush and Nox both nodded and the pain that weighted them was apparent. “I’m sorry you lost your friend,” I said softly.
“He wasn’t our friend.” Rush said plaintively.
“He was more ‘n just our brother too. He was our brother. We grew up in the same foster home as him and Archer. Rush and me are brothers by blood, but Archer ‘n Grind, they protected us.” He bowed his head and I considered Nox and Rush, they looked the same age, I startled breaking in to a wide grin.
