by Eden Finley
Mum and I were close. Not creepy close like Howard Wolowitz and his mother in The Big Bang Theory, but I could always go to her about anything. I was struggling with telling her about the baby because it was the first time I felt I’d be disappointing her.
Reece continued. “Spencer made me realise I was leading a life I didn’t want to lead. I had Cody when I was nineteen, and in my whole grownup life, I’d always been dependent on someone. If Spence and I were to make a go of things now, while I’m in the middle of trying to do things for myself for once, I’d feel as if I was giving in and going back to my old ways. I’ve made mistakes—a lot of mistakes—and I respect Spence way too much to take advantage of him like that.”
Damn, she turned that around quick. I wondered if she’d rehearsed too.
Mum pursed her lips. “Spencer, you can go now. Go play with the kids or help in the kitchen.”
Uh-oh.
I had my doubts coming in. I knew there was a chance Mum would lose it, but that was why I had my sisters there. And the nieces. Surely Mum wouldn’t have made a scene in front of the kids?
Reluctantly, I rose from my seat and headed into the kitchen where I could listen in.
The minute I turned the corner, Tammy and Chrissy scattered away from the entryway and pretended to go back to cooking.
“Like you weren’t listening in,” I muttered.
“Like you’re not going to do the same right now,” Tammy said, slapping my chest with a dishtowel.
Chrissy turned on me. “Was she really engaged when you slept with her?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Can we not get into that right now? We both know we fucked up. But it was only the once. We didn’t carry on some sordid affair.” I looked down at my feet as I confessed the whole truth. “I did ruin her wedding though.”
They both gasped.
“You don’t understand how trapped she felt. She thought there was no other option than to marry Paul.”
“Aww, and then our little brother swoops in like a knight in shining armour,” Tammy said dryly.
“Or a drunk dude who couldn’t sit by and watch Reece marry another guy who wasn’t me.”
Chrissy narrowed her eyes. “You love her.”
“No,” I said quickly.
Tammy coughed in between saying “Bullshit.”
“Do I want to be with her? Yes. But love? Fuck, I don’t think I know what love is.”
“That’s because your only serious relationship was with the gold-digging bitch,” Tammy said. “She screwed you up because she never loved you. She wanted your house and your money.”
I shook my head. “Shayla was with me before I got my money. It wasn’t until I became rich that she went psycho with all the spending.”
“Didn’t you chase her for a while and she only went out with you after you found investors for CTD?” Chrissy asked.
“That’s a risk though, right? My company could’ve failed. Why would she bother?”
“Because she knew or hoped your product would take off fast. Exactly like it did.” Chrissy said. “Didn’t you repay your investors with profit in the first year?”
“Fifteen months,” I mumbled.
“And when did you and Shayla move in together?” Tammy asked.
I gripped the kitchen bench tight, doing the maths in my head. “Eighteen months.” I breathed hard. I knew Shayla was shallow, and I knew by the end it was about money, but I didn’t think it was like that from the beginning. Our whole relationship was a lie?
Chrissy came over and rubbed my back. “Sorry, booger. We thought you knew. We thought you wised up and broke up with her when you realised she was using you.”
I threw my elbows on the kitchen bench and bent forward as I ran my hands over my hair. “I broke up with her because I found out she was cheating on me. And maxed out my credit cards.”
Chrissy’s hands froze for a second before picking back up again. “Are you scared you could be making the same mistake with Reece?”
“Once a cheater …” Tammy singsonged.
“Reece isn’t like that,” I said. “She made one mistake during a crappy time of her life.”
“We’re just looking out for you,” Tammy said. “You’re loaded.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need it. Not with Reece.”
But their words were stuck in my head and minor panic set in. Reece all but admitted she needed to marry Paul because he could support her. I didn’t think it made her a gold-digger—Paul wasn’t that well off, and she emphasised it was more about giving the kids an easier life than needing to struggle.
Reece wasn’t after my money, but I didn’t know if I could trust her feelings if she knew the truth about my wealth. I’d have to make her fall for me first. And after last week, I finally felt like I had a chance.
Being distracted by our conversation meant all three of us didn’t get a chance to listen in to what Mum had to say to Reece, so when they both appeared in the doorway smiling, we had no idea what happened between them.
“How’s dinner coming along?” Mum asked and went over to the stove.
None of us answered her.
I stared at Reece who was staring at me with a look of adoration I’d never seen directed my way from her.
My brow furrowed, wondering what Mum could’ve said to make Reece look at me like that.
Reece’s smile fell, and she stepped closer, whispering, “You okay?”
“Yup. You?” My voice cracked.
She smiled again.
“Mum, I think you broke Reece,” I joked. “She’s smiling at me.”
Reece shoved me. “Har, har.”
“Oh, there she is. Never mind.” I pushed the seed of doubt my sisters planted in the back of my mind. So far back it’d never see the light of day again. Hopefully.
***
Cody doted on my nieces and laughed at dinner. My sisters spoke animatedly about their nephew and were extremely nice to Reece, even if I knew they were wary. But the thing that shocked me the most was how Mum and Reece seemed to click right away.
Perhaps I’d get a phone call tomorrow telling me she hated Reece and it was all an act. Or maybe she’d call me and tell me how disappointed she was in me. It seemed too easy.
Then again, it was easy when I told my sisters too. Maybe I had a total misconception of my family. They’d always been supportive, but I was expecting some repercussions for being in this situation.
Being a single parent wasn’t a bad thing, but how it came about wasn’t ideal. I always imagined my first child was going to be born into a loving marriage, not the result of an affair.
On the drive home, I couldn’t help myself.
“What did my mother say that made you so happy?”
She grinned. “Your mum is an awesome woman. To have raised four kids on her own with a full-time job? It’s admirable. She’s intimidating, for sure, but she’s amazing.”
“In other words, she swore you to secrecy and you’re taking her side.”
“As I said, she’s awesome but intimidating. I’m not going to anger her any time soon.”
Cody leaned forward in his seat. “When I grow up, I’m going to marry Lily.”
“Oh, really?” Reece asked with a laugh.
“Did you see her collection of video games? She said there’s even more at her house.”
I turned to Reece. “My almost five-year-old niece is already a serious gamer thanks to her nerdy dad.”
Reece looked at her son. “So you want to marry her because she has cool video games?”
In the rear-view mirror, I saw Cody nodding.
“That’s true love,” I said.
“Eww, no. I just want the games,” Cody said.
Reece and I both stifled our laughter.
“You’re really lucky,” Reece said. “You have a great family and support system back there.”
“I know. And you have them now too.”
Her smile was small and tight-lipped. She di
dn’t believe me, but she would soon enough.
When I pulled into our driveway and killed the engine, I turned to find Cody asleep in the backseat.
“Come on, bud,” Reece said.
“He’s asleep,” I whispered.
She groaned and put her head back on the headrest. “He’s getting way too big for me to be carrying him.”
“I’ll get him.”
“You don’t have to—”
“We’re a team, remember?”
The smile that lit up her face was genuine, and it gave me hope that we could do this if she let herself go with me.
Once I’d carried Cody into the house and put him in his bed, I walked into the living room to find Reece pacing.
“What’s up?” I asked.
She stopped pacing and stared as if I caught her doing something she shouldn’t be. “Nothing.”
“Why do you look like the cat who ate the canary?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, seriously, what did my mother say to you? You’re acting weird. You have been most of the night.”
“I realise you probably don’t recognise what this expression is. But it’s happy.”
“Happy …”
She nodded. “I may as well get some sleep too.” On her way to go past me, she paused in front of me. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips against my cheek.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“For being you. Goodnight.”
When she was in her room, I didn’t hesitate pulling out my phone to send a group text.
Spencer:
Okay, what the hell did Mum say to Reece?
Chrissy:
Why? Are you being yelled at?
Tammy:
With the way Reece was looking at you when you left, I thought you’d be getting some, little brother. Not that I want to hear about it.
Bec:
Why is my phone beeping? I’m trying to put Charlie to sleep!
Chrissy:
What did Reece say?
Spencer:
She won’t tell me, but she’s all smiling, and she said she’s happy. WTF
Tammy:
Then what’s your problem?
Spencer:
It’s weird. It’s the first time she’s seemed genuinely happy about being here.
Chrissy:
I doubt that’s true. I saw the way she looks at you. She has a thing for you.
Bec:
Seriously!? How do I turn sound off on this thing? It’s on silent but is still beeping with each text!
Tammy:
We better stop before Becca drops Charlie off at one of our houses to babysit the overtired three-year-old. Good luck, booger.
Chrissy:
What Tammy said.
Spencer:
Thanks for the help.
Spencer:
That was sarcastic by the way.
Bec:
I hate you all. Charlie’s screaming. Fuck you very much.
I stared at Reece’s closed bedroom door for longer than would be considered normal. Knocking was always an option, but I didn’t know what to say when she’d open the door. I couldn’t exactly demand she tell me what my mother said.
Instead, I forced myself to go to my own room.
There was a plan.
I was going to win her over.
16
REECE
Dear Reece,
You know what fucking sucks? You took him back again. AGAIN. This time I thought you were done for good. But nooooo. Then you turn around and announce you’re getting married. FFS!
Do you and Cole even like each other? For reals.
How many times will you break up and get back together? Over and over and over again. And I’m meant to sit back and watch it?
I’m meant to sit back and watch you get married?
Oh, and you’re fucking pregnant?
Did you not pay attention in sex ed at school? FOR REALS.
You’re going to be a mother at nineteen. WTF.
I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, come on. You and Cole? How long have you been together? Like forever. So I guess I have no right to say anything. But he never treats you like you should be treated.
He constantly wants to go out drinking. He blows you off to hang out with Hunter and the rest of us.
If it were me, I wouldn’t leave your side. Unless you got sick of me and told me to piss off. Which would most likely happen, because let’s face it, I’d be all over you all the fucking time.
Last year when you kissed me, I thought… GAH I don’t know what I thought.
I’m the fool who’s sat back and let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers because I thought you and Cole would get each other out of your systems. And then I wouldn’t be the asshole writing you this letter, essentially asking my best friend’s girlfriend not to marry him because I’m in love with you.
I’ve always been in love with you.
There. I fucking said it.
My first day of high school, I knew no one, and we were assigned the same form class. You probably don’t remember what you did for me that day.
I was the scrawny kid who hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet. I had no friends because they all went to Packer High—you remember that new school that opened? But I was sent to ours because Becca was going there.
Shouldn’t be a shock that the scrawny twelve-year-old almost came in his pants at the sight of the hot blonde girl smiling at him.
You asked me questions. You almost hid your laugh at my stuttering (close, but thanks for trying), and then you invited me to sit with your friends.
And that’s when I met the best group of people I’ve ever met. Hunter, Blair, Pip, Cole …
I guess I only have one question and that’s why him? WHY?
I love Cole like a brother, but you have to let him go. He’s not good enough for you. Fuck, I’m probably not good enough for you.
But you’re an idiot for marrying him.
Fuck, I’m losing my mind.
No way can I ever give you this.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I have left to say is it should be me. Not that I’d ever have the guts to say that to your face. Or give you this letter.
When Spencer’s mum dragged me into her spare bedroom that was filled with boxes everywhere, I was shocked she knew exactly where she would find the letter. It took a bit of digging through a box labelled “Spencer’s crap,” but when she found it, she held it in her hands as if it were a cherished heirloom.
“I have no idea why I kept this,” she said, staring down at it. “Maybe I thought it might’ve been funny to give him on his wedding day and say ‘look how lovesick you were when you were a dumb teenager.’ Maybe I was going to pull it out at his twenty-first and forgot about it. Or maybe, just maybe, a small part of me thought he might get the woman of his dreams one day.”
“What is it?” I asked, having no idea at the time.
She smiled but didn’t hand it over to me. “Can I ask a personal question?”
“I’m having your grandchild, so I guess personal questions come with the territory.”
I expected something about the fact I cheated, why I did it, or how I could live with myself. However, what Beth did ask left me struggling for words.
“Do you want to be with Spence?”
“Uh, I, well …”
“I understand the circumstances are tough, and you might think he’s only with you because of the baby, but this”—she holds up the folded piece of paper—“will show you that he’s loved you since you were kids. If you want to be on your own because you’ve never done it before and you want to be independent, I admire that. But you don’t have to shut Spence out because of it. You can still be independent and in a relationship. I think it’s a lot healthier if you are. I don’t want to see either of you miss out on something that could be great if you gave it a chance, all because you want to prove
something to yourself that should’ve been obvious to you already. Spence told me about what happened with Cole. He wanted to kill your ex-husband, but I told him you were handling it. You got you and your son out of a situation that could’ve gotten a lot worse before it got better. And if that doesn’t prove you’re capable of anything, then I don’t know what else will. I don’t know what happened with your new fiancé, but after what you and Cole went through—and I know he was as devastated by what he did as anyone—I could understand how you could easily lose your way. Maybe go for the type of guy who was the complete opposite to Cole because you were scared of making the same mistakes.”
Yup, I had no words.
She wasn’t standing there judging me. She was defending me. No one had ever done that before. Except maybe Pip, but it was girl-code. She’d do it no matter what.
“Here. Read it over. I’ll guard the door so no one interrupts you.”
And as I sat on an old office chair and read over the words that first time, I realised I was so blind back then. I was blind by the adolescent love I had for Cole. Because right beside him that whole time was an amazing guy who was nothing but nice to me all through high school.
We may’ve drifted apart when I married Cole, but reading that letter brought me back to all the English classes where he’d tap me on the shoulder just to say hi. His boyish grin always made me smile.
He was the one who consoled me after Cole and I fought, which was often.
He’d walk me to class, we’d joke around, but I was too busy involving myself in the drama that was Cole’s life for me to notice Spencer as anything more than a friend.
It should’ve been him all that time.
It could’ve been him now.
Getting through dinner and not mauling him as soon as we got home was hard, but I wanted to put effort into showing him I was interested in more.
After I read it, there was no way I could pretend not to be interested in more. I thought I’d trapped him by falling pregnant—that maybe his feelings for me were because of the baby and not because he actually liked me. But the letter took that insecurity away.
