by Eden Finley
***
“So your conversation went okay then?” Spence asked later that night when Cody was in bed.
“I think so. I told him people will try to put him down to make themselves feel better and all he needed to know was you’re definitely the father of his little brother. The fact I had to have that conversation at all with my son kills me. I never thought I’d be that person.”
Spencer studied the TV, as if he suddenly found The Bachelor the most fascinating show in the world.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
He didn’t look at me as he said, “I know I said I wouldn’t push for more, and I don’t want you to think that’s what I’m doing when I say this. But if you can’t get over how we got together, this is never going to work. That’s not an ultimatum or a threat. It’s a fact. If you feel guilty every time we’re together, it’ll never last. After this morning, I understand wanting to keep it a secret until it’s not so scandalous, but you need to get over what we did. We screwed up. It got us to where we are. I wish I could say I regret it as much as you, but I honestly don’t.”
“I don’t regret us. I regret it happening the way it did. I regret the way I behaved. I should’ve had the guts to walk away from Paul when it happened instead of going to crazy lengths to cover it up.”
“You need to find a way to get over it.”
That was the end of the conversation. He made it sound so simple.
And as I crawled into my own bed, it was the first time since Spencer and I got together that the emptiness of the bed beside me irritated me.
Why was I holding back?
I reached for my phone and dialled the one person I knew would pep talk me into what I wanted to do.
“What’s up, babe? Isn’t it late for your pregnant ass to be awake?” Pip always had a way of cheering me up. Even if she was mildly insulting while doing it.
“Where are you? It’s loud in the background.”
“Late dinner. I’m on a date.” She sighed. Loudly.
“That’s kinda rude, isn’t it? Answering your phone and then sighing in front of him?”
“Meh, it’s just Gage. My real date didn’t turn up.”
“You got stood up? Aww, hon, that sucks. So, Gage was in the area?”
“My knight in shining—okay, he’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt. But what am I gonna do? I got freaking stood up. I’ll take any company I can get.”
“I really feel the love,” Gage said in the background.
“What’s up? Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages,” she asked.
“You saw me last week at the pub.”
“Yeah, one night in months. And you left early because you were tired, but we all know the real reason was you were freaking out about Spencer’s niece looking after Cody.”
She knew me so well.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“If I told you I was scared of doing something because I was going to Reece it up, what would you tell me?”
“To get over yourself and go for it.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Especially if it involves crawling into bed with your hot baby daddy.”
“Since when do you think Spencer’s hot?”
“Ever since you told me how comforting his dick is.”
Gage coughed and spluttered in the background. Wrong time to take a drink, dude.
“Plus,” Pip added, “he’s got that whole nerdy geek thing happening. That’s totally in right now.”
“I slept with him.”
“I know. You have the baby bump to prove it.”
“No, I mean, I’ve been sleeping with him. He—”
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “Did you just squeal into the phone?”
“Yes, and now I have the whole restaurant staring at me.”
“Just another Saturday night to you, huh?”
“Truth.”
“Spencer wants us to be a real couple and tell everyone and be happy and—”
“And that’s bad because …?”
I sighed. “I’m going to Reece it up.”
“Can we please stop using your name as a verb? And can we please acknowledge you don’t fuck things up? You’ve made mistakes. Get over it already.”
I didn’t reply. It was the truth slap I needed. Even if it was basically what Spencer had said, it was different coming from my best friend.
“Sorry. Should’ve warned you about the ugly truth coming your way. Bottom line is if you go into something thinking you’re going to screw up, you will.”
“I know, but I—”
There was a scuffling noise, and then Gage came on the line. “Give Spence a chance.” He moved the phone away from his mouth, but I still heard “Was that what I was meant to say?”
Pip was back on the line. “I swear men can’t do anything right. Jump in, honey. I’ll be there to catch you if it all falls apart. But I don’t think it will. He’s a great guy.”
“What about all the shit I’ll get from the bitchy mothers at school and soccer. And work. God, they’re all going to think I’m screwing the boss to get ahead.”
“Fuck what everyone else thinks,” she yelled and then muttered apologies to, I assume, the other people in the restaurant.
“I knew you were the right person to call.” After ending the call, I decided to put my big girl panties on.
Tiptoeing down the hall, I felt like I was trying not to get caught sneaking into a boy’s room. Spencer didn’t stir as I slipped into bed, but as soon as I was next to him, he rolled over and threw his arm over me.
With his eyes still closed, he murmured, “I’ll let you stay, but don’t tell my girlfriend. She lives up the hall.”
“Har, har.”
“Funny, you sound and feel like my girlfriend”—he ran his hand down my side—“but she would never be in bed with me if her son’s in the house.”
“I’m compromising.”
“Mmm, good compromise.” With soft lips, he kissed me briefly. He still hadn’t opened his eyes. “Night, baby.”
“Night.”
20
SPENCER
Having Reece in my bed? Awesome. Not being able to fuck her on the nights we had Cody sleeping down the hall? Not so awesome. Waking up with blue balls was never fun.
It took her a few weeks to finally cave, and we’d become the masters at fucking like ninjas and being super quiet, but tonight was a Wednesday which meant we could be as loud as we wanted.
However, as soon as I walked into the bedroom, I knew sex was off the table.
She was curled up on her side with her maternity pillow between her legs. In the past few weeks, that thing got more action than I did.
“Hips sore?” I asked.
“Yeah. He’s been shifting around a lot.”
“Can I get you anything?”
She shook her head.
“You’re passing up the offer of a free back massage or to go pick up something you’re craving from the store even though it’s ridiculously late at night?”
“I haven’t really had any cravings this time ’round. I still maintain the ice cream we had for breakfast doesn’t count.”
I scoffed. “Because ice cream for breakfast is so normal for you.”
She ignored me. “With Cody it was all about avocado. This time I’m too exhausted to eat.”
“If the late nights at work are getting to you, we can work something out. Maybe go on maternity leave earlier?”
“I need the money.”
“You really don’t. Making sure you and the baby are healthy is the most important thing right now. I have money—”
“The financial thing is the one thing I can claim as my own. Even though you gave me the job, I love doing it. It’s given me purpose other than Cody, and I’ve never had that. I love the feeling of accomplishment I get after helping someone fix their glitches. And with you teaching me more codin
g, I feel … smart. I don’t expect you to understand. I—”
“I get it, but maybe I can change your schedule to different hours or—”
“I’m good for three more weeks. That’ll give me two weeks off before my due date. I don’t want people at work thinking I’m getting preferential treatment.”
“I admire that, but you do realise I’d offer that to any pregnant worker, right?”
When she glared, I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere with the argument.
“You sure you don’t want anything?” I asked.
“I’m sure.”
I climbed onto the bed next to her on top of the covers. My arm went over her, spooning her from behind, and my hand landed on her stomach, where it always did these days.
Third trimester had completely kicked in, and these last few weeks had flown by. It didn’t feel real that I’d be a father in a month’s time.
“I thought of a name,” she whispered.
“Yeah? I’ve come up with a couple myself.”
“You first.”
“Iron Man.”
She laughed, which was what I was going for. I didn’t know what I’d do if she agreed to it.
“I was thinking Hulk myself,” she said.
“Okay, serious one? Bruce …” I paused and waited for a reaction that didn’t come. “Bruce Wayne.”
“No. He’ll run around the house shouting ‘I am Batman.’”
“To be honest, I haven’t thought of anything,” I said. “I want a name that means something, but let’s face it, neither our fathers deserve any credit.”
“Well, I think that’s why you’ll like my idea.”
“Which is?”
“Did you know your mother’s been calling me every now and then since that dinner?”
I pulled back. “What? No. Why? I’ll tell her to stop if she’s—”
“Don’t. I like it when she calls. She asks how I’m doing, how I’m handling things, and offers the parental advice she somehow knows I don’t get from my own parents.”
“Do you talk about … us?”
“It hasn’t come up. After the night I met her, I think she’s giving me time to come to my senses and chase after you. Either that or she’s hoping I want her as a mother-in-law so much I’ll marry you to get it.”
I smiled. “I’m already yours.”
“And I promise we’ll tell people soon. When the voice inside my head stops telling me I’m going to fuck it up.”
“Speaking of reasons you have that mentality, have you spoken to your parents lately?”
“The first I heard from them since the wedding was a few weeks ago. Apparently, Dad’s having his sixtieth birthday party, and I’m expected to be there. There was no mention of the baby, where I’m living, how I’m doing, whether or not I need a loan … just a message that said ‘Our friends will expect you.’ They don’t want to answer the questions everyone will ask. They’ll feed me to the wolves to do it for them.”
“Are we going?”
“We?”
“I wouldn’t let you face that alone. Plus, I’m good with deflecting tactics and distraction. The night we hooked up is proof of that.”
“Yes, but I don’t want you to fuck my parents’ friends.”
“Hmm, true. And that is my go-to move.”
“I don’t know whether I want to go or not,” she said. “I’d love to go so I could prove I’m supporting myself now and show them what I’ve accomplished, but—”
“Can I ask you something? Why do you care so much about what your family thinks of you?”
“Doesn’t everyone want to make their parents proud? I realise now it’s not a possibility, but I want to at least show them I’m not who they think I am. I haven’t cared about their opinions since Mum told me to get an abortion.” Her hand went to her stomach and rubbed.
“She what?” I growled.
“It was the last time I spoke to her. No matter what, I’m always going to be a disappointment to them, because I’m nothing like my brother and sister who turned out ‘right.’”
“Okay, we don’t have to go. In fact, it’s probably a good idea not to. I don’t know if I’d be able to bite my tongue. I’ll probably tell them what horrible parents they are.”
“Dad’s not so bad. And it is his birthday. Would you really come with me if I decided to go?” she asked.
“Of course. As long as you promise you’ll forgive me if I do yell at your mother. I’ll try not to, but I can’t make any promises. And even if we have to pretend we aren’t together, I’ll still be there for you. I’ll even wear a suit. Shit, I should buy a suit.”
“You don’t own a suit? You run a company, for crying out loud.”
Own a company. “Anyway, what does all this have to do with our child’s name?” I asked, not so subtly changing the subject. It’d become one of those things that didn’t get corrected from the start, and now I had to continue with the lie because I’d done it for so long. Although, I was a little disappointed she never read her welcome packet she was given when she was hired. My status was as clear as day on that thing.
Which also meant she hadn’t Googled me. My ego didn’t like that, either.
She rolled over to face me but brought her pillow with her and put it between us. At least we were face to face now. “I want to name the baby after your mother.”
“Beth isn’t a very masculine name. He’d get his ass kicked. Especially if he turns out be scrawny kid like I was.”
She laughed. “I mean her last name. Elliot.”
My heart filled with warmth. “Really?”
“You don’t like it?”
“I love it.” I love you, I wanted to say, but I was too scared that would freak her out. “That’s kinda huge. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. Your mother’s been a big influence in your life. You’re caring and nurturing, tough when you need to be, but most of all, you accept everyone for who they are. And I think you get that from her.”
“You know what I think?” Softly, I brushed my lips against hers, and then moved them to her cheek and neck.
“What’s that?” she murmured.
“That even though these last few months have been shit for you, you’ve managed to grow a baby”—kiss—“keep your eight-year-old from completely turning feral with all the crap he’s dealing with”—another kiss—“you’ve started a whole new career, learned a bunch of technical stuff that half our friends wouldn’t know how to do, and all of this was on your own.”
“Hooray for officially adulting,” she said dryly. “It’s not much of an accomplishment considering every other adult on the planet is already doing it. And I can’t say it’s been all that easy, either. I haven’t had any major problems, but I’m exhausted all the time.”
“That’s the pregnancy. Look at the person you were a year ago compared to the one you are now. How did you fill your days with Paul? Cody would be at school, he’d be at work, you had no job—”
“At one point, I was harvesting a farm, while sling-shotting pissed-off birds at pigs, all the while crushing candy with my fingers. It was a very important contribution to society.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Ah, Facebook. The procrastinator of life. You may see your accomplishments as small, but one look at Cody and I know you’re successful in being a great parent. One look at your work at the company, and I know you’re carrying your own weight against others who have more experience. You can do anything you set your mind to, Reecie.”
I didn’t let her refute it. My mouth claimed hers too quickly.
I tried to pull her close as my tongue slipped past her lips, but her pillow got in our way.
“I’m too sore,” she said.
“I know,” I whispered. “I’m living out a teenage fantasy here. Reece Knightly, the most beautiful girl in school, just broke up with her boyfriend and now she’s mauling me at a party. But, you know, I’m all virgin-like and too nervous to feel her up.”
> “You so weren’t a virgin when we hooked up in high school.”
“I so was. Well, I guess it depends on what you constitute as sex. I’d gotten some handjobs and horrible BJs. Although, back then, I thought they were awesome. A girl would put her mouth near me and I’d go off like a rocket.”
And now she’s laughing at me. Great.
“Keep laughing. I think it’s fair to say I’ve upped my game.”
“That’s definitely fair. So, what would’ve happened that night had Hunter not rudely interrupted us?”
“Why don’t you tell me? I definitely would’ve been too chicken to try to sleep with you, but that’s not to say my hands wouldn’t have wandered. Maybe.”
“Perhaps part of me would’ve recognised how shy you were.” She kissed me softly. “I would’ve let you pin me beneath you and drove you crazy by lifting my hips and grinding against you.”
And, I was hard. That didn’t take much. Not that it ever did when Reece was involved.
“You, being the ever-loving gentleman, would’ve pulled back and asked if I was sure. Then I would’ve shut you up by kissing you while simultaneously undoing your belt and fly.”
A groan ripped out of me as her hands did that exact thing now.
“You don’t have to,” I murmured.
She grinned. “Then you would’ve said that. And I would’ve said ‘I want to. I want to so fucking much.’” Her hand freed me from my jeans and boxers and gave a long, hard pump.
I tried to hold back a moan, which ended up making a strangled noise in the back of my throat.
“Back then, you would’ve been able to move your hand from my waist, up to my breast, squeezing my hard nipples through the fabric of my shirt.”
My hand started to make its trail up, but her free hand stopped it.
“Unfortunately, if you did that here and now, your hand would get covered in colostrum.”
“What the fuck is colostrum?”
“The stuff before the milk comes in. It’s like a weird yellowy colour. Kinda looks like pus.”
I burst into laughter. “You really have to work on your dirty talk.”
“Sorry.” She bit her lip. “So anyway, seeing as I had my hand wrapped around your cock, you were then brave enough to put your hand under my shirt.”
