by Haley Jenner
ARCHER
a Leaves of a Maple novel
by Haley Jenner
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Copyright 2016 Haley Jenner. All rights reserved.
Published by Haley Jenner at Smashwords.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Dedication
For Sadie,
May you feel the fierce love held within the pages of this book; in the friendships you build and in the person you one day decide to trust your heart with. You deserve nothing less, definitely more.
We love you without condition, without pretense. Know that in your heart. Always.
Final note, don’t read this before you’re 18 and even then, maybe pretend we didn’t write it because that may turn out to be next level awkward.
Love you.
Acknowledgements
A special thank you to all the men and women who tirelessly dedicate their lives to protect our great nations. We acknowledge and pay tribute to the sacrifices they make day in and day out to serve their country, ensuring we are gifted the freedoms many of us live with every day. You are heroes and our gratitude is heartfelt.
Our love and support also goes out to the families of our soldiers, who also live with great sacrifice and provide endless support to their loved ones.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Epilogue
Archer and Annabelle’s Playlist
About the Author
Other books by Haley Jenner
Connect with Haley Jenner
Prologue
Annabelle
I watch him pack his things with a mix of emotion.
I’m proud. Proud that I have a strong man. A man that will fight for his country. No hesitation. No doubts. A man who risks his own life to fight alongside other men and women to protect what we have here.
I’m angry. Angry that he chose to go back. Again. Surely, two tours are enough. Surely, he’s done his duty. Why can’t he make the decision to stay with me? Here. Keep building the life we’ve been creating together. Why the need to go again?
I’m scared. Fucking shitless. I saw the cracks last time he came home. The haunted look in his eyes. It scares me that he might come back with the crack deeper, harder to mend back together. Or worse, that he won’t come back at all. It’s not a farfetched fear. Not by any stretch. The threat of Archer dying is real. He, himself has told me about brothers he’s lost while being deployed. Just because he is no longer drafted with the Army, doesn’t mean he’s no longer in harm’s way. He still contracts out to war zones. Regions that are consumed by fighting. Places where human life can mean so little. How can I be okay with that? How can I feel confident that he’ll always return to me, when he chooses to insert himself into combat zones? My fear is real. It’s logical and unfortunately for me, it’s a conceivable threat. One I can’t move past.
I’m sad. Sad that once again our life will be put on hold for an undetermined length of time. That my life will continue around me while I wait. Wait for his phone calls. For an email. Any kind of contact. But most importantly, for him to come home.
He promises me this is the last time. That this is all he has left in him. That once he comes home it will be for good. That we’ll get married. That we’ll start our family. That when he comes home, it will just be us. Finally living our lives. I want to trust this. I know he believes it. Completely. I don’t. I can’t move past the sense of dread creeping up my spine, setting heavily in my heart and mind. I can’t even muster the smallest of smiles for him. Instead, I watch him blankly. Wrestling with my emotions.
“Belle,” he urges softly, pulling my attention. “Baby, don’t look at me like that. You think this isn’t hard for me, leaving again? I gotta do this, Belle, then I’m back. It’ll be you, me and the rest of our lives. You can throw attitude at me until you’re greying, just not now. Don’t make this harder for me.”
My eyes narrow unintentionally, my scowl coming easy. “Why do you have to do this, Archer? Tell me, why?” My voice cracks and I want to kick myself. He thinks I’m being emotional. Melodramatic. I pause, holding back the tears threatening to spill. “I want you home with me, Archer. I get that being over there is the worst possible place to be, but think about me. Sitting, waiting, hoping that you’ll come home. What about me?”
His brow furrows in annoyance as he watches me for countless moments. I can see the disappointment in his features. I get that he wants me to understand his position, but I don’t. I’ve tried. Maybe I’m being selfish, I don’t know. Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t actually care. I’ve wrestled with this from the moment he told me he’d be leaving again.
I’ve been dealt my fair share of shit throughout my life; I don’t let that pull me down. But I deserve my happily ever after. I deserved to fall in love and be loved unconditionally in return. I have this, right now, with Archer, I have this and I’m so afraid of losing it. Of losing him and that’s something I couldn’t survive. My life is him and I need him to see that. I don’t want him to be a different person. I love who he is, love the man his career has built him to be. But I want my life now.
“Don’t be that girl,” he criticizes, moving into my space and grabbing both my hands in his. “Don’t be selfish, Belle. That ain’t you. This is bigger than us. I’ve got to do this. How can you not see that?” He searches my face for understanding, but it’s not there. “The services saved my life. Saved my fucking life,” he punctuates. “When I had nothing. When I was nothing. It gave me purpose. The man you love, the man you want to spend your life with, they put me back together, they made me who I am. They’re the reason I’m standing here with you right now, happier than I ever thought I could be. I owe this to them, Belle. In a roundabout way, they gave me you. In my mind, anyway. Let me do this without making me feel shit about it. Fucking, support me.”
Walking into his body, I squ
eeze him tight. Burying my face into his chest, I inhale his scent. “I support you, Archer, please don’t question that. You have to know that you will always have my support. I just don’t understand and I’m scared. Each time you come home, I see the damage and it frightens me that you’ll go back to being empty and hateful. Shit, Archer, some nights you can’t even sleep in our bed because of the nightmares. You barely sleep. I’m fucking scared. How can you not see that?”
He pushes back slightly, recoiling from my words. “You think I’m fucking weak?”
“I did not say that. Do not put words in my mouth. You are the strongest person I know. But there are cracks, Archer. Even you know that.”
He pauses for a moment, pulling in a deep breath, before exhaling heavily. “Baby, you fix the cracks. You’ve always fixed the cracks. You love me regardless. Right?”
I’m shocked by his insecurity in this moment. “More than anything. Don’t ever tell me you doubt that. You’re my life, Archer. That’s why I’m so scared. I want you here. I have this awful sense of dread spreading through my veins that won’t pass. No matter how hard I try, I can’t shake it off. I know I shouldn’t put that on you, but I’m scared of losing what we have. I love you,” I tilt my chin up to meet his eyes.
Keeping eye contact, he drops his lips to mine in a quick kiss. “I love you too, baby. We’re good, Belle. Trust me. Life will be good for us. I know it.”
“How can you be so sure?” I worry. I admire his positivity, the trust he has in our love, I wish I could rely on it too.
“Because doing something with so much purpose can’t possibly be the wrong thing to do.
Because I’m prepared, this is what I’m trained for. This, what I’m about to do, I know it, Belle. It’s who I am.
And because the love I have for you is stronger than anything. I love you more than life, so I know, no matter what, our love is strong enough to beat fucking anything, beautiful girl.”
He smiles at me and the cage constricting my heart loosens slightly, it’s heartbreaking and so fucking beautiful. He’s right, I have to trust what we have. I have to trust the love and commitment we have to one another.
He kisses me, slowly, deeply and I let that fire my trust in us. I let his promises seep into my soul and bury deep, offering the smallest comfort. But the dread I felt only grows with his absence.
Archer leaves and his contact to begin with is full of love and endearments. But as days grow into weeks and weeks into months, his contact breaks down. It becomes infrequent, broken and disconnected. He stops telling me he's safe. Eventually, he stops telling me he loves me.
Reflecting, those last few weeks, I wish I'd held on tighter. I wish I’d listened to what my body was trying to tell me. But apart from him dying, I couldn’t have imagined that my worst nightmare would ever become a reality. That 4 months later, Archer would leave me again by coming home.
Chapter One
Annabelle (Archer 19 / Annabelle 14)
“Leave her alone, dickhead,” a soft voice echoes in my eardrums, causing my eyelids to flutter.
“Don’t be a stooge, Bennett, this is fuckin’ hilarious. Who would have known neighbor girl talks in her sleep? Reckon we could probably ask her just about anything and she’d answer,” a separate voice laughs, louder, closer.
“What could you possibly want to know from her? She’s 14 dude,” a third voice has my eyes struggling to open.
“Annabelle, are you in love with Archer?” the second voice speaks again, close to my face, causing my brow to furrow, even in sleep.
My body involuntarily shudders in revulsion. Gross. That’s not saying that I can’t see why women would find Archer attractive. Physically, he most definitely is. Towering height, broad shoulders; his body is comprised solely of hard planes and sharp angles. But I find his posture imposing, like he’s constantly invading my personal space. Dark brown hair decorates his head and always looks tousled, as though his hands are constantly moving through it. His strong jaw is permanently set hard and his large green eyes, while lined with dark lashes are deep-set and shadowed. Archer has a darkness about him that a lot of women would be drawn to. But on the inside, Archer Dean is a self-centered, arrogant and ungrateful Neanderthal.
“Look, she shuddered, must be true,” the irritating voice in my head laughs.
Large, heavy footsteps echo in my ears, before a booming voice startles me awake. “JOSH. What the fuck, man? Belle, wake up,” Archer moves into my line of sight, shaking my leg roughly.
Rubbing my eyes, I work to bring myself into consciousness. Confused and still only semi-conscious, I glance around the room, eyes wide. I’m met with 4 very different stares; green, brown and blue all focused on me. A mixture of concerned, amused, irritated and calculating. I shift uncomfortably, trying to find bearings.
My eyes settle on Bennett first and he smiles apologetically in my direction, light brown eyes kind, a little glassed over, but friendly.
“All good, Annabelle?” Toby’s voice pulls my attention and I nod quickly in response.
I work unsuccessfully to compose myself. My mind still foggy from sleep, I can’t seem to get a solid grasp on my surroundings.
“You were just about to tell us about your crush on Archer.” My eyes flick to Archer briefly, noting his scowl before moving towards Josh’s voice.
Bennett, Toby and Josh make up Archer’s inner circle. Toby and Bennett seem friendly enough. But Josh Edison easily takes the title of Carnation’s biggest oxygen thief. His calculated grin watches me carefully as he takes me in. I feel uncomfortable under his assessment and shift to readjust my clothing, twisted from sleep.
“What?” I scratch out, confused by his words.
His grin only widens at my uncertainty and my dislike for him magnifies. I’ll never understand what people see in him. Men and women alike. He has the girls in town fawning after him, something he relishes in. Personally, I think the guy’s a gigantic douche.
He’s moved from near my position on the couch, his body leaning against the door frame to the kitchen. I assume for support more than anything else, it’s obvious they’re all drunk.
Even slouching against the doorframe, Josh’s height is intimidating. He’s exceptionally tall, especially for a teenage boy. His dirty blonde hair is spiked in every different direction, like he has just rolled out of bed. His untidy appearance supported by the blonde growth shadowing his face; his blue eyes bloodshot and glassed over.
“Shut your face, Josh. Don’t be a dick, she’s just a fuckin’ kid,” Archer snaps, eyes still narrowed on me.
“I’m not a kid, I’m 14,” I retort but Archer doesn’t acknowledge I’ve spoken, his irritation at my presence still marring his features. “Go home, Belle,” he adds, his tone bored as he moves towards the door to open it, ushering me out.
Rude much?!
I stand slowly and gather my things. “Keep your voices down, if you wake Jake, Janie will be pissed,” I speak only to Archer, eyes narrowed at his rudeness.
“Laters, Neighbor girl,” Josh slurs in my direction, smiling big. I shake my head in response, much to his amusement. Toby and Bennett call out their farewells and I wave them off without making eye contact.
“You’re welcome by the way,” I throw out in Archer’s direction, disgusted by his bad manners.
“Doing Janie a favor, not me,” he rebuts, angered by my accusation.
Technically he’s right. I do watch Jake for Janie when she has to work, but she only has to ask me because Archer is never available.
The Dean family are my neighbors. Clearly, neighbor girl and all. It’s just the three of them; Jake, Janie and Archer. Jake and Janie, I adore. Quite honestly, they’re the family I never had. My Mom ran off before I could crawl and Dad died when I was young. So, that just left Gran. We survive comfortably and what I’ve lost in family dynamics, I’ve made with Jake and Janie. Archer, not so much. He’s ungrateful with the life he’s been gifted, which is unfathomable for me. Kn
owing firsthand what it’s like to have pretty much no one, it pisses me off that he doesn’t care how great Janie is. She’s amazing, and works doubly as hard to provide for her boys.
Meeting Archer’s eyes before walking through the door I shake my head at him in repugnance. “That’s not what I meant. You’re a dick, Janie and Jake deserve so much better than you.” But like always, he refuses to acknowledge my words.
He hasn’t always been this disconnected. My limited recollection has him looking out for me when I was younger. My memory is hazy at best; I would have only been 5 or 6. I guess he grew into his ever-pleasant self at around 10, right around the time his Step-Dad took off.
I welcome the cooler air as I jog down their front steps, uncomfortable with our exchange. That’s not unusual, most interactions forced between us are hostile.
I feel Archer’s eyes burning into my back as I walk the short distance across the lawn towards home. Glancing over my shoulder as I reach my door, Archer’s ever-present scowl has me pinning him with my own icy stare. Walking through my front door, I hear his slam shut with excessive force. He epitomizes contradiction. Virtually kicking me out of his home, but watching to make sure I make it home safely.
Archer Dean, Carnation’s very own twisted Prince Charming.
***
“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” Aubrey’s chin is rested in her hand as her blue eyes flick between Darci and me.
Her wavy hair falls to her shoulders, shifting with the movement of her head, the rich auburn color a beautiful contrast to her porcelain skin. Dustings of light freckles decorate her slightly upturned nose and I can’t understand why she hates them so much, to me they only add to her beauty. Even at 14 she’s remarkably pretty, understated, but she already has an elegance about her.
I take a long sip of my strawberry milkshake as I ponder her question. Darci answers first, her soft voice hard to hear over the loud chatter of the diner. “I hope so, I hope I meet someone who loves me completely, even when I get all embarrassed and fumble my words,” she declares shyly. “But boys kinda scare me, I always turn beet red when they talk to me. It’s humiliating.”
