by Debby Conrad
Then he let out a vicious string of adjectives. What a damn sick- hearted fool he’d been. She’d only married him for the sake of the child. And because he’d pressured her.
Sure she’d made love with him all these weeks. They’d had some great sex together. But that’s all that it had been for her. Just great sex. Nothing more.
Funny how your life could turn upside down in a matter of minutes. And there wasn’t a damn thing you could do to stop it.
Rusty felt empty inside. As if being Luke’s wife the past four weeks had meant nothing to him.
She’d thought that maybe he was falling in love with her. The way he watched her with guarded eyes, the way he made careful love to her. The way he made her feel special, desired and cherished, like he wouldn’t be able to get enough of her in this lifetime. But she’d been wrong.
She pulled carefully out onto the main road and pressed on the gas. Tears blurred her eyes and she dabbed at them with a tissue.
He wanted the baby, not her.
All her plans, all her dreams, had gone up in smoke when he’d said those three little words. I love you. Like she wouldn’t have known it was a lie.
But why had he said it then? Why not when they were making love? Why not on their wedding day? Of course, it wouldn’t have mattered when he’d said it, she’d always known he was planning to and when the day came, she thought she’d be prepared. But she hadn’t been.
Shaking her head, she tried to get a grip on her emotions. When he hadn’t told her that he loved her on their wedding day, she’d pictured him telling her something like, “I was going to pretend I was in love with you, but the fact of the matter is I am in love with you.”
She slapped her palm to the steering wheel. What a stupid fool she’d been.
She sniffed back more tears. She didn’t see the speeding car coming straight at her until it was too late. That was the last thing she remembered before her world went black.
When the phone rang, Luke almost hadn’t answered it. He’d thought there was nothing more that could happen today to make his world spin out of control, but he was wrong. The call from the hospital nearly destroyed him.
After fetching Sam, they sped off in the truck. Luke had to get to Rusty. She had to be alive, damnit. She had to give him another chance. He wanted to prove to her he could make her love him back. Even if he had to die trying.
Thoughts of the child she carried wormed their way into his mind. He’d lost one baby already, but he refused to think about that. He could only deal with one thing at a time. And right now Rusty’s life was more important.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LUKE PACED THE FLOOR of the waiting room. Becky and Sam sat on a green vinyl sofa in the far corner, clinging to one another while they waited for news from the doctor about Rusty’s condition.
It seemed like hours since Luke had demanded answers from a nurse passing by, when it had only been minutes. He couldn’t stand the waiting. Why couldn’t the damn nurse just tell him that Rusty was alive, and that she and the baby were going to be fine?
Instead, she’d asked him to have a seat. She said she’d find someone to help, and then she’d disappeared.
After waiting another minute and still no answers, he stormed up to the emergency room nurses’ station. “Can’t somebody please tell me what the hell is going on with my wife?”
“Sir, if you’ll just be patient,” a nurse said, tilting her gray head down and looking at him above her glasses.
“I have been patient! And now I want answers!”
The woman sniffed, glanced at her co-workers, and then forced a thin smile to her lips. “Please, Mr. Galloway. Let us do our jobs.”
Before Luke could respond, he felt Becky at his side. She tugged him by the arm. “Luke, come sit down.”
“I don’t want to sit.” Walking seemed to channel some of his anger and energy. In three long strides he reached an opposite corner of the room and stared out the window at the parking lot.
Christine’s parents had refused to allow her to marry Luke. They’d felt their daughter deserved someone better than a man with a prison record. It hadn’t taken long for Christine to see things their way. He’d been informed by Harold Rhodes, Christine’s father, that Christine was going to marry someone else. Someone with an education and a decent upbringing. Two things Luke obviously hadn’t had.
When Luke asked about the child she was carrying, Rhodes had said, “Don’t worry about it. The child will be well provided for and much better off if he doesn’t know about you.”
Luke had almost punched the son of a bitch. Knowing he was still on probation at the time was the only thing that had stopped him. And Luke knew it would only hurt his chances for a paternity suit.
But before he got his day in court, Nathan, Luke’s two-week-old baby son, Christine, and her husband, Peter Coleman, had died in a car accident. Coleman had been driving recklessly when the accident occurred. Luke had never so much had the chance to lay eyes on his infant son, let alone hold him.
“Mr. Galloway,” a man’s voice behind him said. Luke spun around. “I’m Dr. Owens.”
“How is she?” Luke saw Becky and Sam hurrying their way. Sam couldn’t hurry very easily with a cane, but he was trying.
“She’s going to be just fine. She’s resting now. In a little while you can go back and see her.”
Luke saw the doctor look out the window as if he were looking for something. Or as if he were avoiding looking at Luke. A suffocating sensation tightened his throat and he swallowed hard. “What about the baby?” he asked, just as Sam and Becky reached his side.
The doctor ran a hand through his thinning blonde hair and sighed. “I’m sorry, but your wife lost the baby.”
It took everything Luke had not to lose control. An emptiness settled deep in his gut. “I want to see my wife. Now,” he demanded, then headed toward the double doors that said, “Do Not Enter.”
Rusty’s eyes fluttered open. The first thing she saw was Luke’s anguished eyes staring back at her. Her mouth was so dry, and her eyes so heavy. She reached for her stomach. After moistening her lips, she whispered, “The baby?”
The look on Luke’s face confirmed her worst nightmare. She let her eyes drift shut. Hot scalding tears stung her cheeks. She felt Luke’s hand gently caress her face. “It wasn’t your fault, Rusty.”
She knew that. She remembered the car had run a red light, but she hadn’t been able to get out of its path before …
Oh, God. The baby. “Luke, I’m so sorry,” she whispered between sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shhhh. Get some rest now. Everything’s going to be okay.”
She rested her hand on his, looking for comfort and reassurance. But she knew no matter what she’d never be able to fill the void in her heart. And Luke would no longer have a reason to want to stay married to her.
Turning her head away from him, she cried long and hard. Tears for the baby they’d lost, and for the love that would never be.
When Luke brought Rusty home from the hospital, she asked to return to her old room. She said she would be more comfortable if she were in her own bed. Rather than argue, Luke gave in.
She didn’t want to sleep with him. How much plainer could she have been?
Sam and Becky postponed their wedding plans. They decided to wait until Rusty was feeling better. Luke began to wonder if that day would ever come.
He’d tried to be there for her, but she refused any gesture of comfort or support he offered. So he spent most of the summer staying out of her way. He’d even gone on several buying trips just for the excuse to distance himself from her. And to give her the space she seemed to crave.
He knew she spent most of her time in her room. But occasionally he’d find her relaxing on the big front porch, a book in her hands, Jack at her feet. She always smiled at him when he was near, but it was forced. He could tell.
She spoke very little, and when she talked to him it was mostly to ask a
bout High Five or one of the other horses. Yet she’d refused his offer to drive her to the stables to see them for herself.
The person she talked to most was Becky. They’d gotten awfully close. So close, in fact, Luke felt jealous. He should be the one she shared her innermost thoughts with. He was still her husband, damnit. And would be until the day she told him to hit the road.
That was the day he dreaded most. But as long as she stayed at the farm, as long as she still wore the slim gold band he’d slipped on her finger the day of their wedding, he clung to the idea that there was still hope for them. No matter how slim that hope seemed.
Rusty sipped at her herbal tea and fingered the pages of the book she held. One day maybe she’d actually read a page or two. In the meantime, she carried it around so everyone would think she was healing. If they thought she could take her mind off the accident long enough to enjoy a book, then maybe they’d stop asking her if she was okay. Her family’s over concern for her well-being had been driving her nuts for weeks.
Especially Luke’s. He tip-toed around her and spoke to her as if she were some fragile child. As if he believed if his voice rose above a whisper she’d crash and break. That was when he was around, of course. Most of his time was spent avoiding her, and planning buying trips so he wouldn’t have to look at her.
She knew deep inside that he probably blamed her for the accident. Maybe he thought that if she’d been paying more attention that day, that she might have been able to swerve out of the way of the speeding car. And maybe he was right. God knew she’d beat herself up over it enough already. But it was time to move on.
And no one seemed to think she was able to do that. Well, they were wrong. She’d already convinced Becky not to postpone her and Sam’s wedding any longer because of her. Becky had promised to speak to Sam, and if he agreed they’d make arrangements to be married in a few weeks.
She’d assumed that Luke would have asked her back to his bed by now. It had been nearly ten weeks since the accident. When she’d told him she wanted to return to her old room, she hadn’t meant forever. She’d only wanted a few nights alone to rest and mourn the loss of their child.
But in ten weeks, Luke hadn’t so much as kissed her on the cheek, let alone anything more. Not one sexual look from him. Not one sexual connotation out of his mouth. This from the man who’d never been able to look at her sideways without hinting about his sexual thoughts.
But now he was no longer interested in her. Not as his sexual partner, and definitely not as his wife.
“I thought I’d find you out here,” Luke said, breaking into her thoughts. He opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch. His hair was wet and slicked back from a fresh shower. Rusty uncurled her legs and made room for him on the swing.
But he ignored her subtle invitation to sit beside her, and stooped to pat Jack’s head instead. He studied the dust jacket on the book in her lap. “It must be pretty boring,” he said. He stood up and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “You’ve been working on it most of the summer.”
“Or I’m just a slow reader,” she said without conviction.
“I highly doubt that.” She thought he might question her further, but he didn’t. He leaned his hip against the porch rail. “I’m leaving early tomorrow morning for Houston, and I’ll be gone for almost a week. I’m going to check out some horses while I’m down there.”
“Okay.” She thought about asking if she could tag along, then thought better of it. If he wanted to spend time with her, he’d ask her to go with him. With her toe she sent the swing rocking. The squeak of the old rusty chains made Jack cover an ear with his paw and let out a painful sounding whimper. Rusty smiled at the dog and stopped the rocking motion. “Sorry, Jack.”
She looked up to see Luke staring at her, his eyes dark and intense. Clearing his throat, he said, “I guess I should oil that thing. So, is there anything you need before I go?”
Just you. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine.” She twisted her fingers and hands in her lap. Her eyes were drawn to the gold band on her left hand. She touched it with the index finger of her right hand, tracing the fine intricate diamond cut pattern.
When Luke had put the ring on her finger, she’d vowed never to take it off. Now, she wondered if the day would come when she’d have no choice but to return it. When she’d have to sacrifice her love for him and offer him his freedom. She could barely stand to think about it, but that day seemed like it was just around the corner.
She refused to cry in front of him. He didn’t need some pathetic excuse for a wife to beg him not to leave her. And if she sat there looking at him one more minute that’s exactly what she’d do. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to start dinner.” Giving Luke a look through watery eyes, she lifted the book from her lap and opened the front door.
“I can cook dinner,” he said. “Just tell me what you’re hungry for.”
“I don’t need you to keep pampering me. Please, let me do something around here. I’m not helpless.” She didn’t wait for his response before closing the door in his face.
“I know that, Princess,” Luke muttered to the closed door. “I know that. You don’t need anybody. Mostly me.”
“Rusty, everything was so perfect today.” Becky squeezed Rusty’s hands. “Sam and I owe it all to you. Isn’t she wonderful, Luke?”
Luke swallowed his drink. “Yes, she is.” She was perfect, in fact. Rusty met his gaze from across the table. She’d worked hard planning this wedding, he thought. Harder than he would have liked for her to after what she’d been through. But she’d been determined to take care of every last detail, so Becky would only have to worry about looking beautiful, she’d said.
And Becky did look beautiful. But, in his opinion, the bride was only a close second to Rusty in her ice blue gown. The dress was strapless with a low-cut, heart-shaped front, fitted at the waist and flared at the hips. She looked like a live Barbie doll.
He took another drink of bourbon and drained the glass. He scraped back his chair, intent on refreshing his drink at the bar, when Becky said, “You two haven’t danced together all evening. Get up and have some fun.” Then Becky was distracted by a couple he didn’t recognize, and she strolled across the room with them.
“What do you say, Princess? You want to shake your tail feathers?”
He noticed her shoulders tense. “I didn’t think you were interested in dancing. You seem more interested in getting drunk than having a good time tonight.”
He felt as if she’d just punched him in the gut. Looking around the room, he watched as guests laughed and talked, and hopped around the dance floor.
“Yeah, well,” he said. “Getting drunk sure beats sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves.”
Her mouth flew open, but she closed it quickly. Her gaze darted around the room, probably to see if anyone overheard him. Then, she looked up at him. “If you want to drink yourself silly, go right ahead. I don’t really care.”
“I know you don’t, Princess.” He lifted his glass in a mock salute and stomped off toward the bar.
When he finally returned to their table, he found a man nearly twice Rusty’s age ogling the tops of her breasts. “I swear you’re just about the prettiest little gal in this room.”
Rusty blushed and politely thanked the man. Luke didn’t recognize him. He was probably a guest of Becky’s.
“You have to dance with me, just once,” the man said. “Men my age don’t often get the chance to dance with such pretty young women like yourself.”
When he saw Rusty about to stand and accept the old fool’s offer, Luke deliberately thumped him on the back. “Excuse me,” he said when the man turned around. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He set his drink on the table, offered his hand. “Luke Galloway. The lady’s husband. And I’m afraid she’s already promised this dance to me.” He met Rusty’s eyes, daring her to call his bluff.
“Oh, certainly, Mr. Galloway. Didn’t mean any harm. You ta
ke care of her, now,” the man said as he hurried off toward another prey.
“You didn’t have to do that. He was a nice man who probably thought my husband had abandoned me.”
“Yeah, well I think he’s an old fool trying to put the moves on my woman.”
“Your woman? Don’t be so archaic!” Lowering her voice, she said, “And you’re slurring your words.”
“And that bothers you because?”
“Because you’re embarrassing me.”
“Well, I certainly didn’t mean to do that, your highness.”
“Stop it!”
“Dance with me.”
“I will not. You’re drunk.”
“If you don’t dance with me, I promise you that I’ll embarrass you even more. I’ll get so sloppy drunk that I might even toss my cookies on my new shoes.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” She stood up abruptly, looped her arm through his and led him out onto the dance floor.
“I knew that last remark would get you. You’d hate me if I did something like that to embarrass you. Huh, Princess?” He knew he was on his way to getting good and drunk. And he knew he’d be better off if he kept his mouth shut. But he figured, what the hell did he have to lose?
“In fact, you already hate me, don’t you?” he asked, trying to further antagonize her. He gripped her tightly around the waist and stared into her eyes.
“People are watching us, Luke.”
“So? We’re married and so much in love it hurts, right? Let’s give them a little show. Why let the bride and groom have all the fun?” He let his eyes drift to Becky and Sam for a moment, then hauled Rusty against him and turned her in a circle.
She kept her eyes on his as he moved with her around the floor. He thought about kissing her. Right there in front of everyone. But if he did he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. And that wouldn’t be one of his smartest moves.
He wanted her so badly it hurt. And he wondered what she’d do if he told her. She stared up at him with wide eyed wonder, but she didn’t say a word. He couldn’t stand looking at her face without kissing her, touching her, whispering words of love in her ear.
