She shifts so her chest is pressed against my arm. It doesn’t feel intentionally sexual. I can’t assume every woman wants sex from me. For once in my life, sex is the last thing I’m thinking about when I look at Leeyan.
“So, you want to be friends?” I confirm.
“Just friends.” She smiles and rests her head on my shoulder for a brief second before scooting back to her space.
Being friends sounds good, but it’s tainted by the fact that I already have a friend and a good one at that.
“I can’t lie to Theo—not about this.”
“Can you avoid mentioning I’m back? At least until I figure out my next move. I want to have a plan before I drop in on their lives. I don’t want to be my mom.”
Leeyan's mom was an addict. I don't know the details but Theo mentioned it as one reason Leeyan is so fucked up.
“When I was a kid, not much older than Lulu, my mom would leave me with my godmother, Louisa, for days. She always came back with promises and fairytales of us moving into our own place. A big house on a hill or a cabin in the woods. I would pack all our things into a big black garbage bag and drag it to the front door. I’d sit there all day into the night. Louisa would try to convince me to go to bed. I wouldn’t move. I didn’t want to risk her coming back and me not being there. I refuse to do that to Lulu. I don’t want to bounce in and out of her life. When I go back, it’s for good.”
“You’re not your mother,” I say this with enough conviction for her to believe it too.
She smiles like she might agree. “Give me two weeks. I swear you won’t regret it.”
Admitting I’m the biggest hypocrite on the planet isn’t at the top of my priority list. I’ve spent years telling Theo he’s better off without Leeyan, and now I’m in a secret alliance with her.
It’s almost one in the morning, Theo has to be home by now. I deem it safe enough to stop by the cheesesteak shop for a quick sandwich. Leeyan wolfs down her sandwich along with half my fries. I can’t recall the last time I shared a meal with a woman. The dinners I attend with clients usually consist of booze and a salad; I’m usually the main course and dessert. Maybe it’s the whiskey but sitting next to Leeyan doesn’t freak me out as much as I thought it would. She makes me feel comfortable like this isn’t a big deal or a major betrayal. It almost feels like the night on the roof.
A soft mist covers the street as we leave the cheesesteak place. I put my jacket on and pull my keys out.
“Where are you staying?”
She points to the hostel down the street.
I follow her finger in disbelief. “Why are you staying there?”
She pulls a green army hoodie from her backpack.
“It’s cheap.”
“Do you have a private room?”
“Nah, I’m used to sharing.” She points to where ‘ARMY’ is printed across her chest.
“Do they know you’re military?”
“I don’t think places like the Green Tortoise give military discounts.”
We stop in front of the bright green building, where four kids sit on the sidewalk near the door vaping.
“Good night?” one of them says, his accent making it sound like he’s asking a question.
“Good night,” Leeyan replies with a friendly smile. “They’re from Brazil.”
The mention of my exit strategy is like a small reality check. I’ll be gone in a few months. Once Leeyan integrates herself back into Theo and Lulu’s life, he won’t need me anymore.
I shove my hands into my pocket. “It’s freezing.”
She looks up at the building. “I can’t have guests.”
I wasn’t expecting to be invited inside. She must have considered it. That causes a twitch in my pants.
Leeyan has a big red ‘no fucking’ sign over her head. Like a horny teenager, knowing I can’t have her makes me think otherwise. I won’t deny feeling comfortable around her, but my couch is comfortable, too, and that doesn’t mean I want to fuck it.
“I know you want time but I really think you should at least contact Theo and let him know you’re planning to come back.” Bringing up Theo is a boner-killer.
“I will.” She hugs herself. “I just need to work up the balls to do it.”
“You have no balls.”
“I wish I did. Then you could kick me in the balls and make me go see them.”
“Why is this on me?”
“You said we were friends.”
“And that somehow obligated me to be your official ball-kicker?”
“You look like you’ve kicked some balls in your day.” She socks my arm. “Don’t worry, I won’t let any of this blow back on you.”
My dick hears the words 'blow on you' and gets excited. I need to get as far away as possible. Drunk Gio makes terrible choices. I pull a business card from my pocket and hand it to Leeyan.
“This has my cell phone number. Text me tomorrow if you grow some balls.”
“Thanks, Gio.” She places the card in the back pocket of her jeans.
We stand on the sidewalk awkwardly shivering.
“Good night?” the Brazilian says again. This time his tone is clear.
I look at him over Leeyan’s head and reply.
“Sem boa noite.”
The four guys let out a collective “oh.” They’re clearly impressed with my language skills and start yelling things in Portuguese. I recognize a few phrases, like “Kiss her!” and “She wants you.”
“What did you say?” Leeyan is stunned.
“I said good night. Actually, I said it’s not a good night.”
“I should go inside.” She opens the front door.
Am I supposed to hug her? Shake her hand, give her a high five? This is why I don’t date. This is not a date, but if it were, I’d be blowing it. Or better yet, she’d be blowing me.
“I’m going.” I start walking away.
“Later,” she yells.
I turn to wave and see a naked man run out the front door. He shoves Leeyan out of his way before face-planting on the sidewalk. His ass is red as if someone beat him with a belt.
A sizeable Asian male exits the building holding a stick, the kind a ninja would carry, and he’s yelling at him in another language. Sirens approach as two police cars fly up the street. People start to file out of the hostel.
“What happened?” Leeyan asks a girl with blonde dreads.
“He broke into one of the female dorms and started jerking off while the girls were sleeping.”
“Is he a guest?” I ask.
“No, he snuck in through the back.” She lights a joint. “And they found a hidden camera in the third-floor bathroom.”
“Go get your shit,” I tell Leeyan. “You’re staying with me.”
Chapter Five
I’m not a nice guy. I don’t do nice things for people. So, why I am sitting in my apartment with Theo’s baby mama?
She returns from the bathroom wearing gray sweatpants and sits beside me. The cool temperature of my apartment is visible through her green army t-shirt. She’s the first woman, besides Antonia, that I’ve had in my apartment. This place is my sanctuary. No masks, no role play. I can eat and jerk off in privacy.
I’m trying to play it cool like her presence isn’t a trigger. My cock is a trained seal, and being within twenty feet of a bed or any fuckable surface with a woman gets his attention.
“What are we drinking?” she asks.
Drinking is a bad idea, but I get up and go to the kitchen anyway. I open and close cabinets like I don’t live here. I take this opportunity to school my dick on what is happening.
Leeyan isn’t my type. I jerk off to curvy women with big fake tits, fake eyelashes, and long, possibly fake hair. My ideal woman is fake.
Leeyan is real. I can smell her from across the room. She reeks of coconut and jasmine.
“Uh, I have Jameson or a bottle of merlot.”
“Do you even have to ask?”
I grab two
glasses and the bottle of Jameson, set the glasses on the coffee table, and fill them a quarter full.
She watches me pour. “I probably shouldn’t drink anymore tonight.”
“Me either,” I agree before taking a large sip.
Leeyan holds her glass with both hands like a child holding a mug of hot cocoa.
“Do you have someplace to be tomorrow?”
It’s Saturday. I usually hit the gym around ten then come home to shower and manscape before going to the club. Trance is the last place I want to be. There is no way to explain this to Theo. He’s waited years for Leeyan to return. The night it finally happens, she doesn’t even call him. I’d rather sit naked on a chair made of thumbtacks than tell my best friend the love of his life is crashing on my couch.
“Not really. Just some errands.”
“Good.” She blushes. “Then I’m not totally fucking up your life.”
Yet.
As I see it, this can only get worse. I should get rid of her, send her back to the hostel where she will most likely be raped and murdered. If I have to choose between Theo’s feelings and Leeyan’s life, I’d say I’m doing the right thing.
Leeyan brings the glass to her mouth and stares at me over the rim. She’s comfortable here, I can feel it, but I don’t know why.
“I can’t get that big red ass out of my mind.”
I offer a small laugh. “Some things can’t be unseen.”
“I bet you’ve seen some interesting things.”
I grin and nod.
“Tell me something.”
“Like what?”
“The craziest thing you’ve seen at the club.”
“No way.”
“Why, embarrassed?”
She nudges my leg with her toes.
I look down at her bare foot.
“Line. Crossing.”
I draw an imaginary line between us.
She pulls her foot back.
“Sorry,” she huffs.
“And what happens in the club stays in the club.”
She drinks to that.
“How long has Theo worked at Trance?”
It doesn’t feel right talking about him, but what the hell else am I going to talk about with Leeyan?
“A few months.”
“The last I remember he was working for a dog groomer.”
It was a shit job with shit pay, but Theo had no choice. Trance was his big break, I won’t let Leeyan make him feel bad about making good money.
“Sway…er…Theo is becoming a pretty big attraction at Trance.”
“Sway?” Laughter bubbles up and out. “Oh my god, is that his stage name?”
“First, it was my idea. Second, he does whatever it takes to provide for Lulu. If that means dancing for money…he gets the job done.”
Leeyan stops laughing to sip her whiskey.
“Theo isn’t as fragile as you think. You don’t need to protect him.”
“I know—he’s a beast in the gym.” I pretend she’s referring to his outer strength.
“There are two sides to every story.” She sets her glass on the table.
Maybe it's time I heard her side of the story.
“Truth?” I ask.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth or drink.”
She raises an eyebrow.
I top off our glasses. Leeyan places a throw pillow in front of her, hugging it to her chest.
I start with an easy one.
“Was Theo the first man you had sex with?”
“Yes.” She takes a sip. “He was the first man I was with. My first, first was named Yvette. We did it in a hot tub.” She recalls it fondly.
“Do you want to share some of the intimate details?”
That’s my dick talking.
“Not going to happen. Since we’re on the topic, who was your first?”
I take a drink.
“Weak,” she moans.
I keep rolling on.
“How many men have you been with?”
Leeyan is cautious this time. She raises the glass to her lips in contemplation then lowers it. “One.”
“One?”
“Did I stutter?”
If Theo was the first and she’s only had one, that means…
“I’ve only been with Theo,” she confirms.
“I call bullshit.”
“Call it whatever you want. I wasn’t into men until Theo, and I haven’t found a man I want since him.”
“What about a woman?”
She holds up her hand.
“It’s my turn to ask a question.”
“Fair enough.” I tilt my glass to her.
Her smile falters, and she clears her throat. I have a feeling the next question isn’t going to be easy to answer.
“Do you think I still have a chance with Theo? I’m not saying I want him back. I don’t know what I want, but Theo has this power over me. When I see him…”
“Pussy power.”
“What?”
“In your case, it’s dick power. He gave you something you can’t find anywhere else—magic dick.”
My dick is begging to make a case for his notable qualities.
“You know him better than anyone—do you think he still cares about me?” Leeyan stares into her glass.
That first year Theo was devout. He played the proud boyfriend of a military woman. I think he joined a Facebook support group. Although, he’d never admit that to me. I tried like hell to get him back in the game but all my attempts to get him laid failed. He did have a toddler, but you can always make time for pussy.
“Honestly, I don’t know what Theo is thinking these days. I can tell you it took years for him to stop caring.” Not that he ever did. “He’s a good guy. If nothing else, he’ll forgive you.”
“Thanks for your honesty.” She touches my knee.
My dick notices.
Leeyan isn’t thinking about my dick, and that fact shouldn’t feel like a blow to my ego. By ego, I mean dick. He doesn’t know what’s going on.
Leeyan is just a friend—an un-fuckable friend.
“I’m not counting that as a question.” I squirm, and she removes her hand. “Ask me another one.”
“Do you have sex for money or pleasure?”
Not only do I drink, I down my entire glass.
“You can’t keep drinking,” she challenges. “The only question you answered was about Theo.”
“Who said this game was fair?” I refill my glass. “What about women? Have you been with any since you left Theo?”
She sighs like the question is lame but doesn’t hesitate to answer. “A few, but they were casual encounters.”
“Drunken mistakes,” I clarify.
“Exactly.” She wets her lips with whiskey. “When was the last time you had sex for pleasure?”
I don’t care who you are or what kind of relationship you have with a woman when she uses the words “sex” and “pleasure” in the same sentence, it does something to a man.
She wants to fuck you, my dick insists.
I would believe him if this wasn’t Leeyan.
Fucking Leeyan is off the table.
And the couch.
And the bed.
I feel like Edward trying to read Bella’s mind. I always know where I stand—or where I’m lying down—with a woman. There’s a mutual understanding when you’re being paid. I have no clue what Leeyan is thinking, what she wants.
I haven’t been in a position to want for a long time. Even moving to Brazil, I never would’ve considered it if Antonia didn’t make the offer. Everything I do is calculated and planned with someone else’s needs in mind. What I want hasn’t mattered to anyone, not even me, for a long time.
“You better not take a drink,” Leeyan warns. “I answered all your questions. I’m just trying to level the playing field.”
Her eyes are playful, a little droopy from the whiskey. I forgot how cute she was. I’m not talking about her
body shape or how she presents herself to the world. I mean she’s genuinely pretty.
My chest pounds like some romance novel dumb fuck. I can’t be Edward—he doesn’t have a heartbeat. I’m Jake now, goofy and lusting after a woman he can’t have.
“Are we playing a game?”
“Yes.” She hesitates when our eyes meet. “It’s called truth or drink.”
Her fingers curl around the glass.
I want to be that glass.
My dick is out of control.
“You owe me an answer.” Her attempt at scowling is ridiculous. She’s too drunk to be serious. She makes duck lips to hide her smile, her brows furrow, and she tilts her head to the side like a confused puppy.
“Cookie.”
Leeyan launches the pillow at me. “Liar!”
I take her hand before she grabs another pillow.
“It’s the truth. Cookie was the last woman I fucked for free.”
Her eyes widen, and I realize what I’ve just admitted.
“I overheard some of the women at club bragging about you. I kind of assumed more went on in those rooms than dancing.”
“I don’t sleep with women in the club. It’s forbidden.”
“I’m not judging.” Her eyes beg to differ.
“It’s a side hustle, like a bachelorette party. Sometimes ladies want more.” There’s no way to make my side game sound legit. At the end of the day, I fuck for money. A lot of money.
“Does Theo?
“No! He’s stage only.”
She looks disappointed like she was hoping to uncover some dirt. If she does find something, it won’t be from me.
“I guess that’s good, for Lulu’s sake.” She adjusts the pillow in her lap. “One shitty parent is bad enough.”
“Who said you’re a bad parent?”
I did. So many times.
“I found out I was pregnant six days before my ship-out date. I didn’t leave my bed for two days. Theo thought I was nervous about boot camp. I was in mourning, mourning the dream that little blue line killed. What kind of mom looks at her baby as a dream-crusher? Not a good one.”
“Nobody said life is fair.”
She toasts to that.
“I didn’t want to get pregnant. I protected myself. I thought I did enough. I should’ve insisted Theo wear a condom but you know how that goes.”
Side Game (Men of Trance Book 2) Page 6
