And when she knew the outcome, then what?
She dragged a brush through her hair, snagging on a tangle. If she was pregnant, would Ford even consider helping her raise another man’s child? On the other hand, would he allow Trenton to raise Phoebe? A big ol’ Hell-to-the-No instantly sprang to mind.
If she was pregnant, she doubted Trenton would want Ford raising his child. The possibilities and complications were endless and made her head throb. The one thing she didn’t question was Trenton’s willingness to be a step-father to her daughter. The two of them adored each other.
She pulled her hair into a ponytail, slipped into a pair of turquoise-studded flip-flops, then went back into the bedroom and straightened the covers on the bed. The midday sun coming through the window warmed her skin. The shudder and groan from the pipes to the bathroom down the hall rattled. She couldn’t be certain if it was Ford or Trenton in the shower, but she needed a minute alone to talk with Trenton. The last thing she wanted was Ford interrupting them.
She hurried down the hall and stood outside the bathroom door. Once she heard the shower door slide closed, she headed for the study. Without bothering to knock, she entered. The black-out curtains were drawn against the sunlight, and she peered into the semi-darkness of the room to find the day bed empty.
“Trenton?” she called out quietly.
“Over here.”
She followed the sound of his voice and found him behind the desk in the far corner of the room, seated in the antique chair her sister had found for her at an estate sale a few years ago. “Did you sleep?”
“A little,” he said.
She quietly closed the door and crossed the room. Crouching in front of him, she settled her hand on his thigh. He looked terrible. His hair was mussed and tight lines bracketed his eyes and mouth. She hated that she was the one responsible for the stress lining his handsome face.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, keeping her voice low. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
He covered her hand with his, and she took comfort in his touch. Trenton was steady, dependable. Strong.
“None of this is your fault,” he said. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“What are we going to do?”
He made a sound, somewhere between a grunt of disgust and a half-hearted chuckle. “I know what I want, and I have a pretty good idea what Grayson wants.”
They both wanted the other to disappear.
He turned her hand in his and laced their fingers together. “I love you and I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t tell you what to do, Mattie.”
She’d been convinced she had no tears left to shed, but her eyes filled with moisture, anyway. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Give it some time,” he said. “You’ve had a shock.”
“Time,” she muttered. Time would tell her a lot of things. Like whether or not she was carrying Trenton’s baby. Or whether her future was with Ford, or the man looking at her with so much love in his eyes, her heart ached.
She stood and turned away, unable to bear the pain she’d caused either of these men. Men, who were so different, but had one thing in common—their love for her. “I told him there was a chance I could be pregnant.”
He stood and moved in behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest. “I heard. These walls aren’t as thick as you might think.”
She let her head fall back against him, and he rested his chin atop her head. “I know that hurt him,” she said. “But I thought he needed to know.”
He swept his hand down to her abdomen. “If you are pregnant,” he said, “it’s going to change everything.”
She moved her head to the side and looked at him. “You think I don’t know that?”
His eyes always reminded her of melted chocolate, warm, gentle, until now. There was a hard cast to his expression that had her wishing she could call back the words.
“I don’t want to win by default, Mattie.”
She stepped away from him. “Win? I’m not some pet cow at the state fair in the 4H competition.” Like it or not, that’s exactly how she was feeling, as if she were caught in the middle of an emotional tug-of-war and she was the prize.
“You have to make a decision. Me or Grayson,” he said. “He could walk if you’re pregnant. I didn’t hear him saying he’d raise a kid who wasn’t his, and I sure as hell don’t want you staying with me out of a sense of obligation.”
She stared at Trenton. During their courtship, he’d never made harsh demands on her. He’d waited patiently for her to return his feelings. Or had she mistaken patience for tenacity? “How can you even say that?”
His gaze narrowed. “There are going to be a lot of things said that you don’t want to hear over the next few days.”
Frustration made her edgy. She started pacing. “Why are both of you so willing to let me make this decision? This affects all of us.”
“Because you’re the only one who can,” he returned. “I’m not willing to let you go simply because Grayson has miraculously risen from the dead. And I know damned well he won’t voluntarily disappear anytime soon.”
She stopped and looked at him. “Unless I’m pregnant,” she said, hating that they were arguing.
“You won’t know that until you ask him if he’d be willing to raise my kid.”
“Would you let him?” She held her breath, waiting. Would he demand she divorce Ford? Or would he quietly slip out of their lives and allow her to resume her marriage? He could sue her for custody of the child, and she suspected he might. She knew he loved her, but would he fight her for their child?
“I don’t know,” he said.
She didn’t know, either, and maybe that was part of the problem. She released a short puff of breath and dropped into the chair. “I hate this.” She hated the tension between her and Trenton, and the mistrust between her and Ford. She hated being torn in two. She hated being the one they were both looking to for answers she wasn’t prepared to give.
He crouched in front of her. “Do you still love him?”
She wanted to scream with frustration. “I’ve always been honest with you about my feelings for Ford. That hasn’t changed.”
“So, you still love him.”
“I didn’t say that.” She didn’t deny it, either.
“You didn’t have to.”
“But—”
His expression remained hard, unrelenting. “But you love me, too.”
She reached out and placed her palm against his jaw. He winced, reminding her of his fight with Ford. “What the hell were you thinking?” Even though he’d lost weight, Ford still outweighed Trenton by a good twenty pounds or more. And there was the fact that Ford was a trained warrior. He could’ve done serious damage to Trenton, not just bruised his jaw and given him a black eye.
“What did you expect me to do?” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “I walk in to find some guy, manhandling my wife. It’s gonna get violent.”
She smoothed a lock of hair from his forehead, then lowered her hand, unable to shake the sensation she was somehow being unfaithful to Ford. “You didn’t have to hit him.”
“Probably not my finest moment,” he admitted. “But it sure as hell felt right at the time.” He took hold of her hand again. “I’ve given this a lot of thought the past few hours. I don’t think you should stay here. Come with me to the city.”
She snatched her hand back. Dread tightened her throat. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” he demanded. “School doesn’t start for another month. There’s no reason you need to stay here.”
No reason? She could think of a few dozen reasons why she needed to stay. “I have to think of Phoebe,” she told him. “The fact that Ford’s alive is going to be confusing enough for her. I can’t complicate that by taking her to Dallas when she needs to get to know her father. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Right for whom? Her?” he ask
ed roughly. “Or for Grayson?”
“Does it matter?”
He muttered a soft curse as he stood and moved away from her. He walked to the window and leaned forward, resting his forearm on the frame. More than space separated them now. If she stayed in Hart, would they ever be able to breach the widening chasm between them?
“It should,” he said. “Are you staying because it’s the right thing for Phoebe, or because you’re unwilling to leave Grayson?”
“What do you expect me to do?”
“I expect you to pick me,” he said, his voice rising. He looked in her direction, his gaze intense. “Divorce Grayson and pick me, Mattie.”
She bit the inside of her lip. If only his request were that simple. “Trenton...”
He looked away. “That’s what I thought.”
“You’re not being fair.”
“And you’re not being honest.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“There shouldn’t even be a question.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “My God, the man was presumed dead. I didn’t divorce my husband, Trenton. I buried him.”
“And I thought you’d moved on,” he fired back. “With me. Now I’m supposed to just walk away?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“That’s the problem, Mattie. You’re not saying anything.” He came toward her, stopping only when he was close enough to touch her. But he didn’t. Instead he kept his arms at his sides and glared down at her. “I thought I was your goddamned husband,” he ground out angrily. “If I had my way, I’d draw up the divorce papers and serve Grayson with the complaint myself. But it can’t be that way.”
“Trenton—”
“I’m not finished.” He hurled the words at her, his eyes glowing hot with anger and frustration. “This is a nightmare from the word ‘Go,’ but if you think there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it except wait, think again. Maybe I can’t force Grayson out, but I sure as hell can make you think twice before you turn your back on me.”
“It isn’t that simple,” she said again, wishing she could find the words to make him understand that while she did love him, she’d never stopped loving Ford, either.
“I’ll be damned if I’m going to be sitting here two years from now and hear you say that you made a mistake and chose the wrong husband,” he said. “I love you, Mattie. From the day I met you and you dumped your coffee all over me, I think I fell in love with you. But you can’t stay with me out of a sense of obligation. And I seriously doubt Grayson would be happy if you did that to him, either. You have to make a choice. No one ever said it was going to be easy.”
He stalked to the door, and she thought he was going to leave. With his back to her, he shoved his hand through his hair. “Our bags are still sitting in the foyer. Come with me. Let’s go to the city. We’ll pick up Phoebe on the way. That’ll give you time to figure out how to explain this mess to her. You could even meet with a child psychologist, get a professional’s opinion on the best way to break the news to her, the least damaging way to handle the situation for her sake.”
She stared at his back, unable to agree to his demands, although she did like the idea of seeking advice from a professional with regard to Phoebe. Mattie might be confused and unsure what she was supposed to do, but running off to Dallas with him was not the answer. That much she did know.
He turned slightly when she remained silent. His expression hadn’t softened, but he had pulled his anger back under control. “Well?”
“You’re not making any of this easier.”
“It’s real simple, the way I see it. You’re married to me now. Grayson has to go.”
“That’s a very simplistic resolution to a complicated situation,” she argued. “You know that as well as I do.”
“So, no, then,” he said, his voice tinged with a heartbreaking combination of determination and disappointment. “You’re not leaving.”
“I can’t go,” she said. “Not now.”
“Now?” he asked. “Or ever?”
She let out a huff of breath in frustration. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Being so unreasonable. Making this harder on me.”
“Because you’re my wife. You buried your husband and you moved on with your life. With me.”
“It’s not that simple,” she said for what had to be the nine-hundredth time. Why couldn’t he see how difficult this was for her? Couldn’t he see she was being torn apart?
“Yes, it is,” he countered.
“Dammit, Trenton. I really need for you to be patient with me.” She drew in a quick breath. “Please.”
He looked at her as if she’d lost her mind. Eventually, he gave her an abrupt nod. “Fine,” he said. “I get it. This is not a snap decision. I’ll try and be as patient as I can. Just don’t expect me to wait forever.”
A car pulled into the driveway. Frowning, she went to the window and pushed back the curtain. Her stomach dropped at the sight of her brother-in-law easing out of his Cadillac Escalade, then circling the front to open the door for her sister, Griffen.
“Oh, my God,” she said, letting the curtain fall back in place. “They’re here.” She rushed to the door. “I can’t believe I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“To call Griffen and ask her to keep Phoebe one more day.”
“Mattie,” he called as she reached for the knob. She stopped and waited for him to speak.
“Tell me what you need.”
A wave of nervousness had her insides all jittery. “I need you to not make this any more difficult for me,” she told him as she jerked open the door. She walked into the hallway, Trenton behind her, just as Ford exited the bathroom.
Ford’s gaze eyes hardened and his jaw tensed. “What the hell?” he barked, his eyebrows pulling into a fierce frown.
“Not now,” she said, her voice sounding as brittle as her tightly stretched nerves. “Phoebe’s here, and I’m warning both of you right now. Make one wrong move, and I’ll have Jed physically toss you both out on your asses.”
Ford’s frown deepened. “Who’s Jed?”
“Griffen’s husband,” she explained. “And he’s big and bad enough to do it, too.”
Ford looked more confused than ever. “What happened to Ross?”
“He’s history,” she said. The doorbell rang and her heart rate picked up speed. “She’s married to Jed Maitland now.”
Confusion gave way to stunned surprise. The look on Ford’s face would’ve been comical if she wasn’t freaking the freak out. “The quarterback?”
“Former quarterback,” Trenton supplied. “They were married a couple of months before...a couple of months ago.”
She appreciated Trenton’s diplomacy when she knew he wanted nothing more than to kick Ford to the curb. She didn’t have time to play referee, but she knew Griffen’s husband would have her back. They wouldn’t dare mess with her now that she had a badass big brother to sic on them if they did something stupid and started swinging at each other again.
She rounded the corner just as the front door burst open and Phoebe came flying into the house. “Mommy, I’m home!” She caught her daughter on the fly and swung her into her arms and held her tight.
Phoebe wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her back. “Oh, Mommy, I missed you so much.” She smelled like sunshine and grape popsicles. “Did you miss me?”
“Every second of every day.” She knew the minute Phoebe spied Ford because the little girl wiggled to be put down. Mattie clung to her daughter, not wanting to let go, but Phoebe pushed against her and practically sprang from her arms.
“I know you.” Phoebe’s voice filled with awe and wonder as she kept her attention on the man she’d only seen in photographs.
Mattie gripped her daughter’s hand and glanced to where Griffen, Jed and her nephew, Austin, all hovered nearby. Jed looked confused, and Austin grinned,
while Griffen’s eyes rapidly filled with tears.
Phoebe tugged free, then walked up to Ford. Just once, Mattie wished her daughter wasn’t so fearless.
Ford hunkered down until he was eye level with Phoebe. With her little brow all puckered, she reached toward him to cup her small hand against his freshly shaven cheek. “Mommy?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “How did Daddy get out of the picture?”
Five
TRENTON STOOD IN front of the kitchen sink with his hands braced against the edge of the counter. He stared out the window, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do next. Long shadows were already stretching across the deck, the shade from the live oak tree shielding the back end of the house from the heat of the late afternoon sun. Thirty minutes ago, Mattie had ushered Phoebe and Ford into another room, giving father and daughter a chance to become acquainted under the illusion of privacy. Maybe he couldn’t argue with Mattie’s logic, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Every minute Grayson was alone with Mattie was another minute Trenton lost with her.
Griffen, Mattie’s older sister, came up beside him and set a freshly brewed pitcher of sweet tea on the counter. She nudged him with her shoulder. “How ya’ holding up, Trenton?”
“About as well as you might think,” he admitted. He liked Griffen. She was strong, smart and fiercely protective of her family. She’d become a good friend, who he’d have been proud to call his sister-in-law. Since he no longer had a sibling of his own, and both of his parents were deceased, the idea of being part of such a close-knit family had appealed to him.
She gave him a half smile. “That good, huh?”
“You’re taking this whole mess well,” Jed said. “In fact, you’re a hell of a lot more calm and rational than I’d be about it.”
Considering Jed’s highly publicized, rebellious reputation, Trenton didn’t doubt that for a second. The former quarterback of the Texas Wranglers was as well-known for his exploits off the field as much as his skills on the gridiron. Since his discovery that he’d fathered Griffen’s adopted son, and his subsequent marriage to Griffen, the press’s claim that the bad boy quarterback had been corralled wasn’t too far off the mark. Although he’d be willing to bet Jed would never willingly admit to being anything remotely close to tamed.
Playing Dirty Page 5
