by Nashoda Rose
“No. I would’ve. But now I want something.”
“London,” I said beneath my breath.
Kai nodded. “Yes. But if there is any indication I told you about them … that Georgie knows more than she should, we’re all … I’d like to say dead, but it will be more wishing we were dead.” Kai’s hand smoothed down the front of his shirt and the scars accentuated through the material. “And it won’t be pretty.”
HALF AN HOUR later, Deck came in the bedroom. He nodded to Vic who’d been silent the entire time I was pacing the room and shooting him dagger eyes. The guy had the gall to laugh at me then dared me to try him when I eyed the door.
I didn’t, of course. No matter that Deck and I were together now, I wouldn’t have put it past Vic to tie me up and throw me in the closet. After he’d shut me up by putting my head in the toilet.
Vic did, however, smile at me when he left, but his smile reminded me of a hot boogey man.
Deck shut the door behind Vic and I didn’t waste any time. “So, you going to tell me what Kai was talking about?”
Deck took his time before he answered. “Yes.”
I waited.
Deck didn’t look happy—at all. Actually, he looked uneasy and tense. Shit, something was off. Badly off. I preferred when he was angry because then I could easily sass him and try and get him to bend. This … this was a Deck I didn’t know. I started for him and didn’t stop until I was pressed against him. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
He tilted his head down, lifted my chin with the tip of his finger and met my eyes. They were soft and gentle, the warmth of milk chocolate swirling in the depths. “I can’t fix this.”
“Deck—”
“Georgie.” Shit. Just the way he said my name made me tear up. “I can’t fix this,” he repeated. Then he leaned closer, snaked his arm around my waist and kissed me.
It was a beginning of something new between us. A truth lay in the way our mouths met and became linked. It was nothing like how he’d ever kissed me before. No, this was purity and it made me his that much more.
“I can’t fix this,” he said again between kisses.
I wrapped myself into him, feeling the pain in his words. Knowing that whatever he couldn’t fix was bad—really bad, because Deck thought he could fix everything.
He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. “We need to sort this shit out.”
Yeah, I figured that, but feeling the torment in Deck was like I was being pulled apart, limbs left hanging weak and unable to bring him into me. I needed that. I had to have that before whatever torment he was dealing with became mine.
“Do you love me?”
His eyes closed and it was as if he was letting go when he sagged against me and I held him. “I’ve always loved you, Georgie. Always.” In one swoop, he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. He laid me on the mattress and followed so his weight was on top of me. Then his hand tucked my blue strands behind my ears. “You’re my rainbow. The brilliant colors of you make me whole. Without your colors, I’m just a man living in the dark.”
A tear slipped from my eye and he leaned forward and kissed it then drizzled sweet kisses down my cheek, across my nose and to my lips where he lingered.
I put my hands in his hair and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. His tongue swept into the warmth and we melted into one another in an orchestra of a soft melody. It was beauty and an awakening. It was discovering a part of one another kept veiled behind curtains of hidden secrets.
My hands went under his shirt and lifted. He shifted to the side and yanked it off, throwing it on the floor. Then he pulled mine over my head and my bra followed. His hands stroked a path up my arms, which I had above my head.
His head lowered to my breast and I shivered, arching into him as his mouth took hold of my nipple and sucked. The warmth spreading over me was like a heated blanket of home.
“Baby,” I moaned as he nipped the sensitive nipple then soothed it with his tongue. He did the same to the other then trailed kisses down the center of my core. “What about Kai, Tyler and Vic?”
“They left.” He yanked down my track pants and I lifted my butt to help. The touch of his hands on the bare flesh of my hips sent an intense ache between my thighs and I arched toward him, closing my eyes, hands curling into the pillow. I expected him to touch me.
He didn’t.
I opened my eyes and looked at him hovering over me. It was as if he was seeing me for the first time as his eyes roamed over my naked body, inch by inch. I felt … yeah, he made me feel beautiful.
Robbie made me an abstract of confusion and darkness with my back as his canvas. Deck couldn’t erase the embedded emotional pain of who I became from that, but he made it better.
His eyes met mine and the torment I saw earlier was pushed back to be blanketed by desire. “I’m never letting go.”
I knew why he said that. Whatever torment lingered wouldn’t be pretty and he was making it clear no matter what happened, he was never letting me go.
I gasped as his finger slipped into my wetness and then his tongue followed. I moaned. “Deck.”
He drove his finger inside me as he suckled on my clit. His other hand stayed on my hip, pushing me down so I couldn’t move as he tortured me with his mouth. The ache built and built until I was squirming beneath him.
He drove his finger into me harder and harder. My legs opened wider. It was when I opened my eyes and saw him between my thighs that sent me over the edge.
“Deck. Deck!” I screamed as my body shattered into a brilliance of pleasure. He didn’t stop with his tongue until my body stopped trembling and lay limp.
I heard the rustling of clothing as he took off his jeans, then the wrapper of the condom, and anticipation filled me again.
I reached for him just as he came back to me. My hand curled into the back of his neck as I pulled him down to me and kissed him. It was me giving him what I’d hidden. It was an apology. And it was me loving him for everything he was. “I’m sorry, Deck. God, I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are. But you have nothing to be sorry for.”
I felt his cock hard against my inner thigh and reached between us to take hold of it. “I need you.” He jerked in my hand, the thickness swelling even more. “I’ll always need you.”
Deck groaned as I placed him at my wet entrance. He grabbed my hand, pulling it away from his cock and putting my arms above my head again. I was getting he liked that. A power position. Control, and yes, it turned me on. Not because he controlled me but because it released me. Was it possible Deck gave me what I needed? That the physical pain I sought could end? Deck was giving me that. He let me be free.
“Wrap your legs around me.” He was nudging at my opening and I wanted to push him inside me so badly I was trembling.
“Please. Deck, I need—”
He shut me up by taking my mouth in a fiery passion. This was no longer sweet and gentle. It was an assault of Deck’s mouth until I felt him arch away, then in one thrust of his hips, shoved his cock hard inside me. I screamed beneath his kiss, making a muffled sound.
He pulled out and did it again. This time, he wasn’t kissing me but staring down at me. “Keep your eyes on me,” he ordered.
He drew back again and I tensed, holding my breath just before he thrust back into me. The intensity of his stare heightened the passion, held me and wouldn’t let me go. He moved faster and faster, the link between us endless as he kept one hand locked on my wrists above my head and the other flat on the mattress to give him more power to drive into me.
“Hell,” he said as he pushed harder. Faster. Deeper. Until I was meeting each motion with my own. I fought against his hands holding me down, wanting to touch him, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“All of you.” Deck pounded. It was as if he couldn’t get deep enough.
His eyes were closed now, tightness around his lips as if he was in pain. Then his grip loosened and he let me go. My
hands instantly went around him, and I felt the straining of his muscles as he held onto control.
His hand slid between us and he touched me. “Now, babe. Now.”
He flicked his finger over me several more times until my body let go. He put both hands on the mattress on either side of my head, giving him leverage and then he violently pumped into me a few more times before he joined me in the whirlwind of brilliance.
Deck took off the condom, tossing it aside before shifting onto his back, taking me with him so I was laying half on top of him. His arm was around me, the other linking our fingers together and resting on his chest. Both of us were silent for a few minutes, our chests rising and falling with our heavy breathing.
“I love you, Georgie.”
I tilted my head, looked up at him and smiled. It was a real smile, one which lit me up from the inside. “I’ve always loved you.”
A tiny flick of a grin before he said, “I know, baby.”
I tried to smack him in the chest, but his hand locked in mine and he wasn’t letting go. Then he did chuckle and brought me in closer as he hugged me. It wasn’t the hard, cold and unemotional Deck; this was the one who let me in to see a part of himself he hid from others.
And yeah, he probably did know I loved him from the beginning, even that day he broke my world apart. I had a feeling it was going to happen again, except this time, I had him.
I felt it before he even said anything. The way his muscles tensed, how he held me tighter to him, how his heart picked up speed beneath our hands locked together.
What I never expected were the words he spoke next.
“Connor’s alive.”
A ROAR OF emotions exploded all at once as I tried to comprehend what he’d said. I didn’t believe it and yet … Deck never lied.
I couldn’t control my breathing as I started hyperventilating. Deck sat up and brought me with him so I was facing him, straddling his lap. He cupped my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “Breathe, Georgie. Deep breaths.”
I stared into his calm, steady gaze as he stroked my back and forced me to keep our eyes locked until I was breathing better. “Where is he?” It wasn’t ‘how was it possible’ or ‘why’; all I could think about was having my brother back. When could I see him? Hear his voice. Feel the touch of his hand as he ruffled my hair. I didn’t care how this was possible. Nothing mattered except that he was alive.
“I don’t know,” Deck said.
I scrambled for words, thoughts pounding me in drums of confusion and disbelief. “My parents. I have to call—”
He shook his head. “No, Georgie. They can’t know.” I went to argue, but his hand tightened on my chin and his eyes grew dark. “No.”
“But—”
Deck’s eyes said it all and I felt my stomach plummet. There was nothing good about Connor being alive.
“Oh, God. Deck. No. Please tell me he’s okay.” Tears filled my eyes as I imagined him burned beyond recognition, sitting in a hospital somewhere for the last ten years with no one with him. “You saw him die. You said he was in a vehicle you saw blown up.” I shivered as the questions and urgency to find answers swarmed me. “How did you find out?” Then I realized the timing of Deck telling me and Kai being here. “Kai? Kai knew about Connor? He told you?”
Deck looked a little uneasy as his hands stopped stroking my back. “Yeah, Kai knew. I had a suspicion for a while, but I wasn’t sure until a few weeks ago.”
I froze. “For a while? You’ve known for a while? You’ve known my brother has been alive for a while?” I repeated. I pushed on his chest and tried to climb off his lap, but he was ready for it and flipped me over onto my back so he was on top of me. “Get off me. Get the fuck off me, Deck.”
“No.”
I glared. He glared back.
“Damn it.” Tears filled my eyes. “God damn it, Deck. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’re questioning me about not telling you shit? You hid shit from me for years. Years, Georgie.”
I clamped my mouth shut. Fuck. He was right, but I was reeling with confusion and so many questions, I wasn’t thinking straight. “I couldn’t,” I said quietly. “Kai said … he’d kill you.”
“And you think a threat like that would matter to me?”
“Damn it, Deck. It matters to me. You’re all I have.”
“That’s not true, Georgie.”
I had my parents and Emily and Kat and the band, but Deck … he was part of me.
Deck was silent. I think he was contemplating what to tell me next, because I knew there was more. Suddenly, his weight left me and he was off the bed and walking to the bathroom. I sat up as I heard the taps turn on.
Connor had been his best friend, his brother. This wasn’t just me hurting, this was us hurting. I crawled to the side of the bed and got up, throwing on my panties and a t-shirt. Then I padded across the room to the bathroom and saw him looking in the mirror, his hands on the edge of the sink, his face dripping wet.
I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him. “We’ll find him.”
He stiffened. “No, Georgie. He doesn’t want to be found.”
“What?” I pulled away and he took the opportunity to walk back into the bedroom where he sat on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. Then I waited for him to tell me. It was the longest wait ever and yet it was mere seconds.
Deck started talking and it was after he told me about Connor being taken by the people Kai worked for that I slid to the floor, curling my legs into me. He told me everything, how he and his men had been overseas because an acquaintance of theirs, a Navy Seal, told them they thought they saw Connor while they were on a mission.
Deck and his men had been searching for nearly a year until they found a guy who also said he knew of Connor. That was when the guy was delivered dead with the note taped to his chest written in his own blood.
I was shaking with disbelief. I couldn’t believe it was the same Connor I knew who wrote something like that, who threatened my life. Deck didn’t stop and give me time to breathe or take in what he was telling me. He kept pounding me with truths as he told me about Robbie.
I stopped shaking as my gaze darted to him. “He’s dead?”
Deck nodded. “Kai killed him the second he was released from jail.”
“But that was … seven years ago.”
Deck didn’t say anything. Fury erupted in my stomach like a volcano as I thought of all the times Kai told me he had a lead on Robbie, where he might be. Why? Why the hell would he do that? Why keep me thinking Robbie’s alive hurting other women?
“Bastard.” I darted to my feet and was out the bedroom door before Deck could stop me. I made it to the elevator and pressed the button before I realized I only had my panties and a t-shirt on. Deck stood at the front door with his hand outstretched.
When I didn’t move, he sighed and lowered it. “Babe, he did what I would’ve done. Should’ve done. Robbie never deserved to walk free and if Kai had let him, he would’ve hurt other women.”
“He used me all these years. Made me believe he was trying to find him,” I yelled.
Deck nodded. “Yeah. It’s who Kai is, baby. But I don’t think you finding Robbie is what you’ve been chasing after all these years.”
I sighed and looked at my feet. I really didn’t know what to think right now. Robbie was dead, and that was what I wanted. But there was no satisfaction knowing that. I’d thought I’d feel this immense relief … but there was nothing.
“You want to find yourself, Georgie? Get that part of you back that you lost? Then stop running from it. All Kai did was teach you how to survive. But, baby, now I get to teach you how to live.”
A tear slipped from my eye and slid down my cheek. “How do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make me love you more.”
He grinned and then the elevator dinged.
“Babe, get your ass in here. I don’t want to have to beat some guy because he saw you half-naked.”
I smiled.
He scowled.
I quickly walked to him and he pulled me inside and shut the door. Then he picked me up and carried me out onto the terrace where he told me the rest of what Kai had revealed, while I curled up in his arms.
“WHAT WILL THEY do to London?”
We were in Deck’s black Audi on the way to the Unyielding Riot office where Vic, Tyler and Josh were digging up anything they could on every secret organization known throughout the world. Of course, the job wasn’t so easy. I’d tried calling Kai to try and get more information out of him, but he wasn’t picking up.
“Torture her until she breaks, most likely.”
I asked for it. Deck didn’t give bullshit or make things look prettier than they were. I was a little, okay, that was bullshit, I was a lot freaked out that I was under the thumb of some powerful secret organization I knew nothing about and neither did Deck. “Do you think Kai will try and get her out?” Shit, he was the one responsible for her being targeted. London had been through enough already.
Deck parked and shut off the car. “No. And he’d be stupid to try.” I closed my eyes, feeling my heart cracking as I thought of the broken girl who refused to meet anyone’s eyes and trembled at the sound of a man’s voice. “Then that means Connor … ” I couldn’t finish. Was he lost to us forever, too?
Deck reached across the space between us and took my hand and squeezed. “Probably. But I’ll never give up on him.”
I nodded. Yeah, that was Deck.
“But keeping you safe comes first, Georgie. Not only because I love you, but because Connor asked it of me.” I opened my mouth and then shut it again because we’d already been over this. I argued that Connor was more important and Deck refused to listen. There was no discussion. No leniency. No give. Deck wouldn’t go after Connor if it meant my safety.
He let me go and opened the car door.
I got out and we strode into his office where his men were sitting in the glassed-in boardroom. It looked odd, three hot men wearing jeans or cargo pants and t-shirts sitting around a dark mahogany table in an office building.
