The Farthest Gate (The White Rose Book 1)
Page 32
I heard the sound of chopping in the distance, and wondered if that was where the shape-shifters and elves were.
Guessing my thoughts, Azrael gave confirmation: “The rest are at Martyr’s Field.”
“Whatever for?” I asked.
“They’re chopping down the crosses, evicting the owners most forcefully.” Azrael laughed. “Amelia told them to get out of her park, and D’elia said that if they wanted to whine about hardships, she would give them plenty to bitch about.”
I smiled and murmured, “Remarkable women.”
My beloved led me to a bench facing the lake. I heard the laughing voices of children. A swarm of them approached from the side with Phillippe at their core. He carried the smallest of them on his shoulders. I had never seen him so happy, yet he approached me with hesitation. Something was wrong—a mother knows.
The children left Phillippe to crowd around Azrael and me. They tugged playfully at his rippling cloak, and shouted a barrage of questions.
“Mother…” Phillippe hurried to join me on the bench, hugging me fiercely, then releasing me, but taking my free hand in both of his. “My heart has been torn by the suffering you endured for my sake. Tell me—is it truly well with you?”
I smiled as I lied to him, “Now that I have you back, of course.”
He lowered his eyes. “I am terribly grateful for all you have done for me, and I certainly want my body hastily returned, but ... I can’t go home with you.”
“Phillippe...!” My hand tightened in his. “Do not say such a thing. The cost has been high, buying back your life on Earth.” Higher than I could ever let him know.
His voice was a burst of pain, “But I cannot help myself.”
“Why not?”
He looked at the children that thronged us, and I knew why. They needed him, and he had come to love them while sharing Azrael’s body. For their sake, he was throwing away all I had desperately fought for.
“The city has lost its Gamesman and needs a merciful hand to guide it. I can make a difference here. At least, I want to try. And with me close at hand, Death need not feel he must interfere over much in my life. Besides, he is not that bad, when you get to know him.”
I had my doubts about that.
I stared into my son’s sapphire eyes, then studied the plains of his face, handsome even in the wan green light. His expression seemed hardened with strength and purpose. I no longer saw the child I had brought into the world; this was a man, choosing his own way in life.
I had to respect that. I forced a smile.
“All right, I understand. There is great need for compassion in a city of despair. You must follow your heart, as I have always taught you.”
Phillippe kissed my cheek. “Thank you, Mother … for understanding.”
I did understand, all too well. The heights had claimed our souls, and heights do not release those they take in full. I was much the same myself. I smiled at my son. “Well, do not think that you can escape my affection. I will be staying too.”
“You are?” Azrael sounded startled.
I nodded, turning my smile his way. Fortunately, the heights had certain attractions for compensation. “I have come far and changed too much to fit back into the life I left. I will return, but only to visit father from time to time.”
“And…” His hand settled on my shoulder. His voice lowered, “What of … us?”
“I do not intend to ever lose you,” I assured him.
I sent Phillippe off with the children, needing some privacy. As their shrill laughter faded into the distance, Azrael and I stared out across the lake.
“We should take over the house on the island,” I said. “All it needs is a woman’s touch.” I turned my head and my lover drew me into a kiss that captured eternity. At last, I broke for breath. “Perhaps … we will even have a child together.”
“I now have the … uhmm … equipment,” Azrael said, “but I am not certain as to its method of operation. That is why I hesitated earlier. You may need to instruct me in its use.”
I smiled with delight. “Fear not! Practice makes perfect, and I promise to be a very good teacher.”