When Alana lifted her head to press a kiss to Caden's forehead, their gazes met briefly. He caught a glimpse of emotional turmoil before she looked away. It made him wish yet again that he could figure out what was going on. Even before he asked her if everything was okay, Justin knew what her response would be.
“It's fine." She ran a hand over Caden's curls.
Seeing Caden's hunched shoulders and bent head, Justin wondered how Alana could actually refuse the little guy anything. "Is there anything I can help with?"
Something flashed in Alana's eyes before she shook her head. Her gaze slid past him for a moment and he looked over to see that Than and Lindsay were watching them. Once again, Justin got the feeling that Than knew what was going on and it bothered him that he didn't.
Suddenly, Than grinned and said Caden's name. Alana touched his shoulder and pointed at Than. The boy lifted his head and as he turned to look at Than, Justin could see that his green eyes were damp with unshed tears. What on earth was going on?
As he signed, Than said, "Want to go to see what other games they have?"
Caden looked at Alana, who nodded. He slid off his chair and headed to where Than stood with Lindsay and Danny. Justin waited for Caden to look at him, but it seemed that Caden was doing what he could to avoid him...just like his mother had been doing.
Justin moved into the chair Caden had just vacated, bringing him closer to Alana. She shot him a surprised look but didn't say anything. He shifted in his seat so he could face her, his hand gripping the back of her chair. "Did I do something that has upset Caden?"
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"No." Alana’s answer came quickly. Almost too quickly.
"Then why didn't he even look at me when he left? That's not how he is normally."
Alana picked at the hotdog bun on her plate. "He was just excited."
Justin looked across at Beth to see if she had some answers, but all she did was shake her head and shrug. A glance at Dan resulted in a similar response. He bit back a growl of frustration. Somehow he was going to figure this out because he couldn't shake the feeling that he was a part of what was going on with Caden. Only two people besides the little boy knew what had happened, and thankfully, one of those was a friend. A friend he would be questioning if Alana didn't shed some light on the situation herself.
It bothered Justin more than it should that Caden was upset. And he could see that Alana was bothered by whatever it was that was happening with her son. These two had definitely become more important to him than he'd ever imagined they might be. He stared at Alana for a moment, taking in her profile. The way her dark lashes fanned out to frame her deep green eyes. The gentle slope of her nose. The smooth texture of her skin. The silky loose curls.
As if sensing his gaze on her, he saw her lips part slightly and a tinge of pink sweep up her cheeks. Though she didn't look at him, Justin sensed she was as aware of him as he was of her. Was it possible that there was something worth exploring between them? Up until then, any thought of a relationship had been shoved aside in favor of his job. But now he was finding himself considering that very thing with not just a woman but also her son.
He heard the soft clearing of a throat then Dan said, "Well, I think we're going to keep moving along."
Alana reached for her purse as she got to her feet. "I should probably see how Caden is doing."
Justin stood up as well and began to follow her. He felt a tug on his arm and glanced down to see Beth there. She slid her hand into the crook of his arm as Dan pushed the stroller with Genevieve in it, catching up to Alana.
"Do I detect some sort of interest on your part for our teacher?" Beth asked, her head tipped up to look at him.
Justin watched Dan bend down to say something to Alana. Denying it would be pretty stupid. If Beth had figured out that much, it meant he hadn't done a very good job hiding how he felt—particularly from someone who knew him very well. "She is an interesting person. I'm glad that she decided to bring Caden today."
"Yes, he does seem to be having a great time." Beth walked in silence for a few minutes then said, "I don't know much about Alana and her past. She never talks about it and not just with me. I asked a couple of the other ladies at church and they said the same thing. She's very generous with her time and talents, refuses to take payment for teaching sign language and will do anything for anyone who asks. But no one has ever been to her home and though it's clear it's inconvenient for her to take the bus, she always—always—refuses a ride. I think she has something in her past that makes it difficult for her to trust people. She does plenty for others but rarely, if ever, allows anyone to do something for her."
"I know a bit about her background and understand why she might be that way." Justin patted Beth's hand. "But that's not my story to tell."
She looked up at him, her expression serious. "I do consider her a friend though, and I think she considers me one too. Having said that, I hope you won't do anything to hurt her."
Justin scowled at her. "It's not my intention to hurt her. Or Caden, for that matter."
"I know you wouldn't mean to, but there's a lot of potential for hurt here." Beth slowed her steps which made Justin pull up as well. "I think you see her as someone needing protection and help. That can be misunderstood—particularly by a woman. I just don't want you having one idea in mind while Alana might be getting another."
She squeezed his arm before slipping away to catch up with Dan and Alana. Justin lingered behind, his thoughts on what Beth had shared. Was it just his desire to protect two people who seemed so vulnerable? He didn't think it was just that. He really didn't. He'd been trying to move slowly. Let her get used to him being around. Get used to him interacting with her. Because he wanted her to see—to understand—that he wasn't like her ex. He needed her to know he would never, ever, use his strength against her or Caden.
He couldn't deny it was Alana's vulnerability that initially drew him—once he'd gotten past the point of thinking of her as someone out to scam his sister and Dan. But even though there was an air of vulnerability around her, he knew now there was a core of steel within her. She did what she had to to take care of her son even when it was no doubt more challenging given Caden's deafness. She'd stood up to him and basically called him out about looking into her past. Yeah, she had some steel in there.
Justin noticed they'd caught up to Caden and the others. Instead of approaching Alana like he'd been doing earlier, he hung back and just watched. He rubbed his chest to ease the sudden ache there. For a brief time, he'd moved willingly into contact with someone, but now he was back to the fringe. Drifting along the edge, watching to make sure everyone was safe. Only this time, the fit didn't feel right. It wasn't where he wanted to be.
~*~*~
Alana found herself in conversation once again with Victoria as the group continued to make its way to the games and other fun stuff that they hadn't had a chance to see yet. They stopped at a face painting booth, and Caden was thrilled to have them paint a Spiderman mask on his face. Danny got a pirate look while Genevieve and Sarah each got butterflies.
Glad to see that Caden was distracted from their earlier conversation which had once again centered on Justin, Alana glanced around for the man. Before they'd stopped to eat, it seemed that every time she'd turned around he'd been within arm's reach of her. But since their brief conversation at the table, he was nowhere near either of them. She tried to tell herself that it was for the best, just like she'd tried to convince herself that avoiding him was a good thing. But regardless of what her mind was telling her, her heart was saying something else.
"Is this a good spot?" Beth asked as they came to a stop in a big grassy area behind the tent where they'd eaten earlier.
Justin nodded. "Mel said the fireworks would be best viewed from anywhere in this area."
"I brought a couple of blankets." Beth pulled them out from under the stroller and handed one to Justin. "I used to like to lie down to watch the firework
s when I was a kid. Remember that, Justin?"
Alana looked over in time to see Justin give a quick nod as he flicked the blanket out and let it settle on the grass. Clearly, he wasn't in the mood for a trip down memory lane. She held Caden's hand, uncertain of where to sit. The blankets were plenty large enough for all of them, but Alana was waiting to see what Justin would do before settling onto one of them.
There was still enough light that they could see, but twilight was quickly falling on them. The area they were in was rapidly filling with people. Most just settled on the grass, but some had folding chairs and a few had blankets like Beth had brought.
"I'll be back," Justin said once the blanket Beth had given him was spread out.
Alana watched him walk away. Even as he moved through the crowd, he was easy to track because of his height. Caden squeezed her hand and she looked at him. Releasing his grip, she signed that Justin would be back even before he asked where he was going.
"C'mon and sit down," Beth said as she settled on the blanket with Genevieve. The little girl looked a little tired and burrowed into her mother's arms.
Alana could only imagine how Caden was going to crash after this. All the excitement plus the exercise was sure to have worn him out. She kind of wished they were going home to their own apartment afterward, but she wasn't going to change their plans now.
After she had slipped off her shoes, she settled onto the blanket, glad that she had worn pants instead of a skirt. She pulled Caden onto her lap and then took a couple of minutes before the sun was completely gone to explain to him what was happening. Though they'd watched fireworks when they'd lived in Florida, she wasn't sure he remembered much about them.
By the time the fireworks started, Justin still wasn't back. Trying not to dwell on it, Alana leaned back on her hands and let Caden rest against her so he was in a good position to see the sky. She felt his excitement as his body tensed and he'd clap when a particularly beautiful display lit up the night sky. Alana was glad that he could still enjoy the beauty of the fireworks even though he couldn't hear the sound that went along with them.
A beam of light fell on the blanket, and Alana looked over to see Justin lowering himself to the blanket on the opposite side. He stretched his legs out and reclined back the way she was. His movement must have caught Caden's attention because his head whipped to the side. When she felt him start to sit up, Alana wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him in place.
He leaned his head back to look at her. Alana pushed to a sitting position and grabbed Caden's hand and placed it against her cheek and shook her head. She felt his shoulders slump as she loosened her grip on his waist. After she was sure he was going to stay put, Alana resumed her earlier position to watch the rest of the fireworks.
It was the perfect end to a relatively great day. The only downside was the emotional angst she'd waded into, all because she and Caden found themselves drawn to a man who had no place for them in his life. The man spent every day at his job basically. How did a family fit into that? Even Beth—before Alana had met Justin—had mentioned how much she'd like him to have a family, but that she doubted that would ever happen since his life barely had room for her. If his own sister saw him that way, Alana didn't figure that would be changing anytime soon.
Once the fireworks had ended, lights came on and there was a surge of people toward the parking lot. Alana kept a tight hold on Caden and walked right behind Beth and Dan. She wasn't sure where Justin was, but when they reached the van, he materialized beside Dan.
Beth reached out to hug him. "Thanks for a wonderful time. I'm so glad you invited us all. It was nice to see that you do have some friends after all."
"Friends? You mean the guys I work with?"
Beth laughed and reached up to pat his face. "Yeah, you may consider them co-workers, but what I saw today...they're friends. And I'm glad I got to meet them."
Alana almost smiled when Justin gave a grunt and crossed his arms. The man did seem to like to make it appear as if he was keeping his distance from everyone, but clearly he'd managed to make connections with the guys he worked with. Even Victoria considered him a friend.
After he'd buckled Genevieve into her seat, Dan opened the back of the van to put the stroller in. Grateful for the light in the parking lot, Alana signed for Caden to thank Justin.
Caden walked to where Justin stood and reached out to touch his hand. Justin lowered himself to Caden's level when he saw who it was and watched as the boy signed thank you. It was one of the signs Alana had taught Justin so she hoped he understood it without translation. She realized that he had when he signed you're welcome back to Caden. Before she could stop him, however, Caden threw his arms around Justin's neck and buried his head into his shoulder.
Wrapping his arms around Caden, Justin stood with ease. Alana's first instinct was to grab her son from the man, but her feet were rooted to the ground, her arms pinned to her side. She swallowed hard against the emotion that crowded its way up her chest into her throat. Tears pricked at her eyes as she was faced with proof—once again—of how much Caden longed for this man to be his father.
Justin's head was bent as he held Caden for a minute before stooping to put him back on his feet. He held out his fist and waited for Caden to bump his much smaller fist against it. "See you soon."
As Caden came back to her side, Alana said, "Thank you, Justin. We both had a wonderful time."
Justin gave a quick nod of his head. "Glad to hear it."
As Daniel moved to his side, Alana helped Caden into the van and made sure he was buckled before taking her own seat. It wasn't long before Beth and Daniel were in the front seats, and they were joining the line of cars exiting the compound.
They were almost to the house when the text alert went on her phone. Alana pulled the phone from her pocket and stared down at the message on the screen.
This is Victoria. I hope it's okay I asked Justin for your number. Would like to get together for coffee sometime.
Alana smiled as she tapped out a response. Would love to get together. Let me know when it might be convenient for you.
Terrific! It was great to meet you and your son. Look forward to visiting more with you. Have a good night!
Alana ended the conversation as Daniel pulled the van into the garage. She had thought Caden might fall asleep, but he was still awake and quickly crawled from the back seat. Beth had shown her to a guest room in the basement before they'd left earlier so after saying goodnight and thanking them once again, she headed down the stairs with Caden.
The room was decorated in sage green and chocolate brown and had a large queen size bed that looked so much more comfortable than her daybed. It had an ensuite bathroom with a deep tub that was a temptation she wasn't even going to bother trying to resist.
It took a few minutes to get Caden through his nighttime routine and then settled onto one side of the queen size bed. While she waited for him to fall asleep, Alana laid out their clothes for church the next day and set the alarm on her phone. Once Caden had drifted off, she went into the bathroom and began to run the water. There were some bath salts there that she added and then with a sigh of appreciation, she slid into the warm water. It had been so long since she'd enjoyed a good soak and after the day she'd just had, it was a welcome relief.
~*~*~
Justin knew he should be keeping his attention on the job at hand, but there was nothing pleasurable about lying face down in the mud while heavy rain pelted his back. It had been a day that had started out rough and gone downhill from there. While he normally enjoyed these types of exercises, his mood going into this one had already been awful and now the rain-soaked night just added to his misery.
He listened as his team reported in from various locations across the BlackThorpe land. The only thing that made this thing marginally better was knowing that Marcus was out there enduring the same misery as he was. Alex was part of the team as well. Every couple of months, the two of them would join t
he teams for an exercise like this. Justin assumed it was to make sure they didn't lose the edge from their military days.
Lifting his night vision goggles, he searched for any sign of the other team approaching his location. This was a hostage extrication exercise with the opposing team being the ones trying to make the rescue. They were a top special ops team with a couple new members they wanted to put through their paces, so Justin knew they were going to be difficult to take down. Which was all the more reason to keep his thoughts on the task at hand instead of playing the past twenty-four hours over and over in his head.
Though he’d hoped to see Alana and Caden at church, it hadn’t been too surprising when he hadn’t given the size of the church and the fact that it had more than one service. But it had all really started to go downhill when he'd shown up at Beth and Dan's for supper on Monday night and discovered that Alana and Caden weren't there. Beth hadn't given any reason, and he hadn't asked.
Then, after another boring staff meeting, he'd been looking forward to spending some time with Alana and Caden, but she'd shown up alone. Something about Caden being at a playdate. That was also the reason she gave for why she couldn't stay for the self-defence part of their agreement. After they were finished with the sign language lesson for the day, she'd told him she needed to go pick Caden up. He'd offered to drive her but, once again, she'd refused him.
Even during their lesson, any attempt at conversation not related to what she was teaching him had been met with vague responses and an immediate return to the lesson. She hadn't avoided his gaze, but there was a distance there that hadn't been present since their first couple of meetings. Basically, she'd confused the heck out of him. And disappointed him as well. He'd been looking forward to talking to Caden. Those few minutes each week while Alana got changed and they chatted using his tablet had been fun for Justin. And he would try out a few signs on him as well. Given how enamored Caden was with him, Justin had a hard time believing the boy hadn't wanted to be there. Especially since he hadn't been around for supper the night before.
Signs of Love Page 17
