Justin almost laughed. It had been that simple for Caden.
I love you.
I love you too.
And that was enough for him.
Not wanting to make a bigger deal out of the exchange than Caden had, Justin picked up the smallest box and opened it. He lifted out the phone and handed it to Alana.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Alana took the phone from Justin as he said, "I know you also lost your phone in the fire. You will need to go and get this one activated for your number and the plan you have. Beth can give you all our numbers again."
Beth reached out and took the phone from Alana's slack fingers. "Why don't I just add them myself? Then you can show her that last box there."
Justin glanced at Alana, noticing the slightly shell-shocked look she wore. He wasn't sure if it was still because of the items he'd purchased for them or if the exchange between him and Caden had caused it.
He opened the box containing the laptop and removed it from the packaging. When he set it on the table in front of the empty chair next to him, he rested his hand on top of it, his gaze on Alana. She wasn't looking at him, and he could see her gnawing on the inside of her lip. He waited for her to make up her mind.
Leaning back in his seat, he fought the urge to cross his arms since he figured that would give him a dominant appearance that wouldn't be helpful at the moment. There were plenty of times when he wanted that dominant position, but right then wasn't one of them. An electric silence settled between them as Alana's hands gripped the back of the chair.
Finally, Justin reached out and covered both of her hands with one of his. He waited until she looked up at him. "How about we do it this way? Consider it a loan until you can get something for yourself. At least it will give you the opportunity to get back to work."
He thought about asking her if she had enough money set aside to purchase a new laptop, but he doubted she did and he didn't want to embarrass her like that. Though Alana usually kept her emotions from showing on her face, this time he could pretty much read everything going through her mind. He figured it had something to do with the emotional overload she'd gone through in the past twenty-four hours.
Justin had to admire her stubbornness even as he wished she'd just accept the gift. She was used to taking care of herself and Caden, and while she'd do anything for her son—including accepting the tablet—she obviously didn't feel comfortable doing the same for herself. He may not have known her long, but he had a pretty good idea of what made her tick.
Finally, she moved her hands from beneath his and slid into the chair. She looked at him, her green eyes determined. "A loan."
Justin fought to keep his expression serious as he nodded. "A loan."
With that settled, she reached out and lifted the lid of the laptop. The guy at the computer shop where he'd bought it had assured him it was ready to go. He sure hoped that was the case or he'd be getting Dan to help her out. While he knew enough about computers to operate his own, doing updates and such was more Dan’s or Trent's territory.
"The guy at the computer shop said it had the latest operating system on it. And it's touchscreen."
It quickly became apparent that he didn't need to worry about updating the laptop. Alana clearly knew her way around the machine.
"You're pretty knowledgeable about this stuff," Justin commented. "Did you take classes for this?"
She glanced at him, surprise on her face. "No. I had to kind of learn as I went. If something wasn't working, I would Google it or watch videos. I couldn't afford to take it to someone."
"Well, I know next door to nothing about how computers work, so if you have any issues, Dan or Trent will be your best bet. I'm sure either would be happy to help you."
Alana lifted a brow. "Trent? Really? He doesn't really know me."
"Trent loves computers. I think that after he's done working on them at BlackThorpe, he goes home to work on them some more. Of course, Victoria might have changed that a bit now."
Daniel walked into the kitchen then and slipped his arm around Beth's shoulders. "Geni wants you before she'll sleep."
“I'll be right back," Beth said as she went up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Dan's lips before walking out of the kitchen.
Dan took in the boxes and equipment on his dining room table and then looked at Justin. "Did you get them setup on the wireless?"
"I got Caden's tablet on it, but I think maybe you should do the laptop."
Dan nodded and sat down on the seat next to Alana. Within a few minutes, he had her logged into their wireless network.
"How much did you lose on the other laptop?" Justin asked as he watched Alana type information into a web page.
Alana sat back and let out a quick breath. "Actually, not a whole lot. Everything I did was online. If I ever had files I wanted to save, I emailed them to myself since I didn't have an external drive to save to and couldn't afford online backups."
Justin was glad to hear she hadn't lost everything. Well, she had, but at least some of it was salvageable. He was quite sure that having a way to continue making money was pretty important to her.
Realizing there wasn't much left for him there, Justin pushed away from the table and stood. "I'd better head back to the compound."
He laid a hand on Caden's shoulder. When the boy looked up at him, Justin glanced at Alana. Once her son looked at her, she quickly signed something to him.
Caden laid his tablet down and stood up to hug Justin around the hips, and when he stepped back, he signed thank you once again. After signing back to him once again, Justin looked at Daniel and Beth. "Thanks for everything today."
“I'm just glad we were here to help out." Beth gave him a quick hug. "And you take care of yourself. No more getting shot. You know the house across the street is up for sale. Maybe you should take a look at it."
“Maybe I will," Justin murmured as he walked past her.
Justin was nearly at the front door when he heard Alana say his name. He turned to face her, prepared for her to try to thank him again, but as soon as he got a look at her face, he knew this was something else.
"First of all, I want to thank you for everything you've done for Caden and me. Victoria said you made sure they knew what to get for me clothes-wise and for Caden too."
Justin shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you had things you were comfortable in. And that Caden had clothes he liked."
"They did a great job and what they chose was exactly right. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He stood there, waiting for her to continue because he was pretty sure he knew what else was on her mind.
Her gaze slid away from his and her fingers twisted together at her waist. "About what Caden said earlier..."
Justin thought of just brushing it aside. No doubt it would be easier for her to not have to acknowledge that her son had told him he loved him. And though Caden himself hadn't made a big deal out of it, the moment had been significant and as surely as he knew it, so did Alana. He was fairly certain Caden didn't make a habit of telling people—particularly men—that he loved them. In the time since he'd met them, he'd only ever seen Caden make that sign with Alana.
As the silence stretched out once again, Alana shifted her weight and lifted her gaze to his, wariness back in her green gaze. She cleared her throat and swallowed. "What Caden said...he has become very attached to you. His dad didn't pay him very much attention, and there hasn't been much male presence in his life until we met Beth and Daniel. He likes Daniel a lot, but you...you...he loves." Her head dipped so he couldn't see her eyes. "I appreciate you responding the way you did with him even if it isn't how you feel. He's had a lot of heartache in his short life. The fire was just the latest."
"It is how I feel." Justin crossed his arms, a little defensive given she didn't appear to think he was capable of actually feeling something for her son.
Alana's head shot up and her eyes widened. "What?"
>
Justin shrugged. "What can I say? The little guy has grown on me. And I know I love him because I feel about him like I do about Genevieve. And I definitely love her."
Alana seemed to be contemplating his words as she didn't reply right away. But as usual, the woman had pulled her emotions back inside her. For a few minutes there she'd showed her nerves and wariness, but now she was back to keeping everything hidden.
She lifted her chin, her shoulders pulling back slightly. "Okay. Well, I just want you to know I won't get in the middle of your relationship with Caden. I think...I think you'll be good for him. And maybe he'll be good for you too. But you don't have to worry about me reading anything more into this thing between you and Caden."
Justin stared at her for a moment then nodded his head as he turned and gripped the doorknob to leave. He twisted it and opened the door, but then swung back around and looked at her. "But what if I want you to read more into it?"
Her jaw sagged even as her eyes widened at his question. There was no hiding the shock on her face. Justin wasn't actually looking for an answer right then, but he did want to give her something to think about because in the panic that had followed the news of the fire, he'd come to the realization that this woman—and her son—had found their way into his heart. Now he just had to be patient and see if she felt the same way.
He quietly closed the door behind him and walked to his truck, his eyes going to the house Beth had mentioned earlier. As he drove around the cul-de-sac, he paused to write down the information on the realtor. Maybe he'd give them a call in the morning and get a few more details on it.
~*~*~
Alana stared at the closed door, her heart pounding. Had she heard him right?
But what if I want you to read more into it?
Maybe he'd misunderstood what she meant by her comment. And now she was left wondering if she was reading more into his departing statement.
Frowning, she gave her head a shake and turned around to go back to the dining room to get Caden since it was already past his bedtime. She froze when her gaze fell on Beth. Her friend leaned against the door jamb of the opening to the kitchen. From her expression, it looked as if she'd heard most—if not all—of her conversation with Justin. Honestly, if she'd realized where their conversation was going to go, she wouldn't have started it when there were other people around.
Beth lifted an eyebrow. "So are you going to give Justin a chance?"
Alana rubbed her palms down the rough denim of her brand new jeans. "A chance?"
Her friend pushed away from the door jamb. "Justin basically just told you that he's interested in something more with you. And that's a pretty big thing for him."
So he must not have misunderstood her if Beth had come to the same conclusion she had. She would know her brother better than Alana. And while that cleared up one thing...it left her filled with uncertainty.
"I don't know." Alana felt she had to be honest with her friend. "I don't know that I would be the best woman for him. He needs someone...stronger."
Beth's eyebrows rose at that. "You don't think you're strong?"
"I spent years with a man who beat me. If I'd been stronger, I would have left the first time he did it. Instead, I stayed...for almost six years."
"But you did leave, Alana. That took real strength. I think you're stronger than you realize."
"Any strength I have comes from Caden. I did what I had to do for him."
Beth tilted her head, a look of curiosity tinged with sadness on her face. "Did you not think you were worth being strong for?"
She wanted to be able to deny what her friend had said, but the words stuck in her throat. There was no denying she felt that anything bad that had happened to her was what she'd deserved. But nothing bad that had happened was Caden's fault, so she'd done her best to protect him.
"Do you ever do anything for yourself? Accept anything for yourself?" Beth approached her and ran a hand down her arm. "Even tonight. You accepted the tablet outright for Caden but would only accept the laptop as a loan. And I'm pretty sure that you only agreed to stay here and accept all the clothes because of Caden."
Alana looked away from Beth, not wanting her to see the anguish that was slowly building within her. She'd never had anyone grasp her inner struggles like Beth just had. Trembling had started in the pit of her stomach, and she fought to keep it from showing outwardly.
The burden of responsibility for the bad things that had happened in her life rested squarely on her shoulders. And even as she strived to give Caden the best she could, there were times when she did wish she could grab onto something good for herself.
"Alana," Beth said her name softly. "Though I would love to see you and Justin together, all I ask is that if you do give him a chance, make sure that it's for you and not for Caden. Justin hasn't had an easy life either, and he deserves a woman who accepts him for who he is, not for how he treats her son."
Alana glanced up to meet her friend's gaze. She nodded that she understood. Justin did deserve what Beth wanted for him.
And she didn't.
It took a little while, but finally Caden was settled for the night in the big bed they'd shared the last time they'd stayed the night. Once she was sure he was asleep, Alana took the laptop Justin had given her and went to sit on the soft couch in the rec room. Beth had told her to think of the lower level as their home for as long as they needed it.
She sank onto the couch, pulling her feet in to sit cross-legged and propped the laptop on her knees. It was stunning to consider the past twenty-four hours. It had been a roller-coaster ride of emotion the likes of which she'd never known. From terror to worry to thankfulness to...maybe love?
As she sat there staring blankly at the laptop screen, Alana wondered if she dared hope. Hope for something good for her—not just Caden—because although it was a definite bonus that Justin and Caden had a connection, there were emotions she had for the man that had nothing to do with her son.
She'd fallen hard and fast for Craig when they'd met when she was in high school. The youngest—the "surprise baby"—she’d never achieved the successes of her older brother and sister. Her parents had invested their time and resources in her much- older siblings, and Alana had been left to find her own way through school and any extracurricular activities she'd wanted to be involved in. So it was no wonder, really, that when Craig began to pay attention to her she'd fallen for him so quickly. Gave in to him physically far too easily.
And boy, had she gotten her parents' attention when she'd wound up pregnant.
Her gaze drifted to the slightly open door to the room where Caden slept. They'd told her that keeping the fetus would be the worst decision she'd ever make. When she'd gone ahead and made that decision, they made theirs and cut her out of their lives. All of them.
People told her that she was lucky Craig had agreed to marry her and then had gone on to provide her and Caden with such a wonderful life. All they saw was the outside trappings of the life they lived...never the terror that occurred behind closed doors.
Realizing that her hands had clenched into fists, Alana took a deep breath and relaxed her fingers. That was over now. No longer a part of her life. After that last horrific beating where Craig had threatened Caden, she'd called the police. They'd taken one look at her and arrested Craig. Though his family's lawyers had worked their magic for him, she'd gotten what she wanted from him. In exchange for no spousal or child support as part of the divorce, he would terminate his parental rights. He'd been more than happy to oblige. With the help of an abused women's support group, she'd been able to get the sealed file for her name change as an extra layer of protection in case Craig changed his mind. She was sure he never would, but all of that added to the maelstrom of emotions she was dealing with now.
She'd thought that Justin's physique being so similar to Craig's would be a deterrent, but it seemed that the opposite was actually true. This man didn't use his strength to inflict pain on those ar
ound him. But there was no doubt in her mind that if Craig ever bothered to track her down, Justin wouldn't hesitate to go to her defense. He protected those he cared for and that was a big draw for her.
Once they'd gotten past that rough start, Alana had found herself looking forward to being around him. He'd become a part of the life she only allowed herself to dream of as she'd lay in bed late at night. She hadn't lied to Beth when she'd said that she thought she wasn't the right woman for him. That's why Alana had only allowed herself to dream about it, not to ever really consider it might come true. But when Caden had revealed how important Justin was to him, Alana had become scared that unlike her ability to relegate Justin to the "wishful thinking" part of her heart, her son would not be able to realize that his feelings might not be returned.
Alana couldn't stop the smile that edged up the corners of her mouth. Caden was braver than she was. He'd taken the bull by the horns and ended up with the result he wanted—well, part of it anyway. She would have let fear hold her back. Fear of being rejected again. Fear of not being enough for Justin.
And yet...
But what if I want you to read more into it?
Suddenly, she wanted to talk to Justin, but she had no way to do that. Her phone wasn't hooked up yet so she couldn't call or text. And she'd lost his card that had his email address on it.
Alana slid the computer off her lap and got to her feet. She walked quietly up the stairs to see if Beth was still awake. She found her friend curled up in an easy chair, a ball of yarn in her lap as her hands worked a crochet hook. The TV played on low. A crime drama from the look of it.
Beth looked up and smiled at her, lowering her hands. "Hey. Caden go down okay?"
"He went down just fine. I think he was pretty wiped from everything of the past day."
"I would have thought you'd be wiped out too," Beth commented.
"I am, but my mind is kind of whirling around right now." She paused, swallowing the lump that had suddenly grown in her throat. "Actually, that's why I'm here. Do you have Justin's email address?"
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