“How long?” Her legs shifted under the blankets. They’d felt like home wrapped around his hips earlier. He wanted them there again. Without the barrier of her thin pants. Or his.
“Six years.”
Mara’s jaw popped open. Her pale pink lips formed an o. A mask of confusion slid over her face, and then fell away with a shake of her head. “Goddess. I thought I was a monk. I haven’t been with anyone in three years.”
It was his turn to be shocked. This beautiful, intelligent, and empathetic woman should never have been alone. He shoved that thought away. She wasn’t alone now. She’d never be alone again if he had anything to say about it. “There were women who flirted. Wolves passing through. Even a beta from another pack. She would have been a smart mating. But I felt nothing for her. Nor she for me. We didn’t even kiss. Once I found my place in the pack, it all changed for me.”
“Why?”
“Because I have responsibilities. Or I did anyway.” His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know if I’m still the alpha. I was gone for a long time. Liam should have petitioned to take over. If he did, I won’t upset the balance of the pack by challenging him. I have to do what’s best for all of them.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you can’t let me comfort you. You’re having nightmares so bad you were begging to die.” Her voice cracked a little. “Sleep here. With me. Nothing else needs to happen.”
The tension in the room was a physical presence, a thickness in the air, an electricity that prickled along Cade’s bare chest, raising the fine sandy hairs.
“I want more.” At his words, she took a single stuttering breath. “You’re mine. My wolf—he knows it. Hell. I know it. I can’t get into your bed, be close to you, without wanting all of you. Werewolves mate for life, Mara. I’m not afraid of it. But this isn’t your world and I can’t change who I am to give you what you want. If we do this, I’ll be yours. For the rest of my life. Even if you reject me. I’d leave if you asked me to, but it would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do. Which is why I’m going back to my room.” He tore his gaze away from her face and got to his feet. “I’m sorry.”
“Cade, wait.” Mara got out of bed and caught him at the door. He drew in a sharp breath.
“If you don’t want me to take you right now, you’ll let me go,” he growled.
She held on tightly. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m scared of a lot of things,” she admitted. “I’m scared that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and my hands will be shaking. That in three days the dark circles under my eyes will come back. That I’ll need a transfusion in a week. That I won’t be able to get out of bed in a month. That this is my last Christmas, my last New Year’s. My last . . . everything. But I’m not scared of you. Never of you.”
“Fuck it.” He swept her into his arms. “Tell me to stop. If you tell me to stop, I will. I’ll walk away. But if you don’t, I need you naked. Right now.”
Her body melted against him. The barest curves, cool skin, and a refreshing summer’s rain. A tear shimmered in her eye. “I can’t promise you anything. I want this. You. More than anything. But I’m still getting used to the fact that I might have a future. I can’t promise it to you yet. All I can give you is right now. Today. Tomorrow. Next week. After that . . .”
“My eyes are open, Mara. You had to know. Before it went beyond a kiss. Before I let myself hope . . . for more.” His cock strained against the press of her body. He spun with her and pinned her down on the bed. She ripped at his zipper and shoved his jeans down around his thighs. His boxer briefs did little to contain his erection. Frantically, he tugged at her silk pants. A tangle of legs foiled him, but the pants soon sailed across the room.
Mara’s arousal was a steamy summer rain that surrounded him. Her skin glowed with dew. Fire burned down his arms from her touch, igniting a need in him that couldn’t be denied. His gaze roved over her body, cataloging every dip, every angle, every spot he wanted to kiss. “You smell like home,” he told her, running a rough hand over her hair. “I could lose myself in it. In you.”
He knelt between her thighs and pulled her up. That shirt had to go. He took his time, drinking in the toned muscles of her stomach, the curve of the bottom of her breasts, the tight, dark nipples, and the delicious hollow above her collarbone. He dipped his head and worshiped the bud of her right breast, tasting fresh rain, cocoa butter lotion, and hints of salt. Her back arched, offering him better access. He bit down lightly, scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin. She shuddered and moaned, clutching at his arms to keep herself upright. His teeth nipped at the throbbing pulse of her neck, up to her ear. Cade bit down, and sucked the sensitive lobe between his lips.
“Goddess. Don’t stop that.”
“If I don’t stop, I can’t do this.” He moved the flat of his hand against her mound in a small circle. She gasped and her hips jerked against him. “Still don’t want me to stop?”
Her reply was lost to his greedy mouth on hers, the fierce flare of need spurring him on. They fell together, Cade’s lean body covering Mara’s and his hips and cock replacing the pressure of his hand. The thin barriers between them did little to dull his pleasure. If he didn’t enter her soon, he was going to come in his boxers like a teenager. It had been too long.
She dragged her mouth away. “Cade, inside me. Now.”
He growled and sat back, panting. Sweat glistened on his bare chest. “Protection.”
“I’m on birth control. I haven’t had sex in so long, I don’t have any condoms.” Her cheeks turned a bright red and her lower lip found its way under her teeth.
“Werewolves can’t carry diseases,” Cade said, battling the lust and desperation raging inside of him to force the words from his lips. “When we shift, any illnesses we have go away. We don’t even get colds. But all I can offer you is my word.”
“I trust you,” she said hoarsely. She tugged at his boxers. Her fingers were damp with her element, desperate. Short nails scraped along his hips and dug into his ass.
He ripped away the pale blue panties that covered her to find her reddish triangle of curls beckoning him. “I want to make this last. I want to see you come.” Fastening his rough hands behind her knees, he slid her down on her back. The move brought a fresh waft of Mara’s scent over him. She laughed and trembled when his stubble tickled her thighs but she stopped breathing completely when he tasted her.
Spring rain. Honey. She was an oasis in the desert. He’d never tasted anything so perfect, so life-sustaining. He lapped at the singular spot he knew would send her over the edge. It was almost instantaneous. Her body bucked against his mouth. He drank in her essence, quenching the thirst that had plagued him since he woke up in Mara’s bed.
“Cade, please.”
He couldn’t wait a moment longer. He vaulted up to his knees, grabbed her hips, and brought her to him. Her legs wrapped around him and he was right. He was home. “Mara. God. I won’t last.”
Once. Twice. At the third thrust, he lost himself to his mate.
The scraping at her front door dragged Mara from the best sleep she’d had in weeks. Cade’s arm draped over her waist, and his shaggy hair obscured his forehead. She brushed a lock of it away. Their first coupling had been frantic and desperate. And short. But after they’d each found release, exhaustion had claimed them. First Cade, then Mara. She’d stayed awake for a bit, listening to him breathe, savoring the feel of his arms around her. Having him in her bed soothed her. He slept easily, relaxed in a way he hadn’t been since he shifted back into a man.
A fresh round of scraping drew her attention. Livie. Mara slid out from under Cade’s arm, donned her robe, and crept quietly to the front door. It was barely six a.m. The female wolf padded inside, sniffed the air, and growled.
“What?” Mara asked. Livie sniffed again. She headed for the guest room, looked inside and walked back to Mara’s bedroom doorway. She growled, and used her massive head to gesture for Mara to follow her.
In
the guest room, Livie sat on her haunches. Her eyes changed first. They glowed brown, gold, and then narrowed and softened, turning a soft blue with flecks of bourbon. Her pelt bristled. The fur disappeared from her breasts, her belly, and her cheeks. Her dark snout lightened, shrank, and formed a perfect upturned nose. The skin on her face tightened and red scars ran down her cheek, her neck, and her entire left side. Her back broke and a soft whine escaped her lips. Her ribs narrowed. Her pelvis cracked and reformed. When the shift finished, she lay naked and panting on the floor. Mara approached, but Livie glared and held up her hand. The feral sound that rumbled in her chest sounded a lot like her wolf.
“What did I do?” Mara asked.
“I smell him on you,” Livie panted. Her limbs shook as she climbed to her feet and pulled on her maternity jeans and sweatshirt. “He claimed you.”
“I don’t understand.”
Livie stood toe to toe with Mara. “He. Fucked. You. Understand now?”
“We had sex. Yes. I don’t see how that’s any of your business. He’s not allowed to have sex?” Mara wanted to shove Livie back, but her burgeoning belly made that a bad idea. Even if she was a werewolf and could probably take it.
“Allowed? Sure. Has he once in the five years he’s been our alpha? No. And now he’s gone from years of celibacy to mated in the course of a couple of days. With a fucking elemental no less.”
“Hey!” Mara stepped back and tensed, preparing to defend herself.
Livie’s eyes flashed with gold. “I’ve got one question for you. Don’t lie to me.”
Those glowing, wolfish eyes stared her down. Mara had a good four inches and a few years on Livie, but she felt like a child under the wolf’s harsh glare. “What do you want to know?”
“What are your intentions towards him?”
“I . . . Cade is important to me.”
“No shit he’s important to you. But that doesn’t answer my question. I want to know if you’re going to break his heart. Because if you leave him now, that’s what’s going to happen. Werewolves mate for life. You know that, right?” Livie’s stomach growled.
“Come on. Let me get you something to eat.” Mara turned to head to the kitchen, desperate the diffuse the tension, but Livie grabbed her arm. Her fingers dug into Mara’s flesh through the robe.
“No,” she said, her voice a low growl. “Answer me.”
Mara wrenched her arm from Livie’s grip and sat down on the bed. She was going to have a bruise. “Yes. I know. Cade told me. I didn’t lie to him. I can’t promise him a lifetime. Not yet. I don’t even know if my own lifetime is going to be longer than a month. But he matters to me. I can’t explain it. I shouldn’t care this much about him after only a few days, but I do. I won’t hurt him. Not if I can help it.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
Livie sat next to Mara. “He’s falling in love with you.”
A wave of panic washed over Mara. Her palms dampened and she rubbed them on her robe. Her element pulsed against her skin, itching to escape. It seemed now that she’d learned how to work with her element, she couldn’t control it. She forced air into her lungs. Livie wrapped an arm around Mara’s shoulders. Stiffly at first, then with warmth Mara didn’t expect.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. That was supposed to be a good thing. Don’t you want a mate?”
“I’m not a werewolf. Humans don’t think in those terms. That only happens in romance novels. We date, we fall in love, we get married. Y’all go right from first date to basically married.”
“Y’all?”
Mara snorted quietly. “When I get stressed, my Southern accent comes out. Aunt Lil’s rubbed off on me.” She rolled her head around, trying to relax her neck.
“You’re tired. He’d be mad at me if he knew I kept you up. Go back to bed. I’m going to eat something. It’ll be light in half an hour. I’d have stayed out there, but the pup wants his breakfast and he’s pretty damn insistent about it.”
Livie rose, but Mara grabbed her arm, turning the tables. “Wait. I need to ask you something.” A short shrug gave Mara the opening she wanted. “Is he still your alpha?”
“Huh?” Livie jerked in surprise. “Of course he is. Why would you ask me that?”
“Because Cade doesn’t know. He thinks Liam challenged. It’s eating away at him.”
“Bullshit.” Livie’s stomach growled. “Boss-man needs to chill out.” She yawned. “I’ll tell him when he wakes up. Now go. He’s mated with you. He’s not going to want you out of his sight for a while. He won’t be able to stand it—not touching you, seeing you. Werewolves are a little . . . possessive.”
Mara trudged back to her bedroom. What had happened? Livie’s whole demeanor changed over the course of that one conversation. Of course it did, she told herself. She needed to know you weren’t going to hurt her alpha.
She dropped her robe on the foot of the bed and slipped under the sheets next to Cade. A quiet rumbling thunder rolled through his chest. “Mara.”
“I’m here.”
“Mine.” His arm banded around her waist and he nuzzled her hair. He pressed his lips to her neck and bit down lightly. “Mine.”
Fourteen
Sun streamed in through a crack in the gray drapes, but it did little to heat the room. They’d slept another hour, perhaps two, after Mara’s conversation with Livie. Cade shifted under the blankets and slid his hand down her arm. He stiffened at her back.
“Where did these bruises come from?” His voice was a low growl, barely controlled.
Mara twisted to face him and took his hand. She gently flipped his palm and stroked her fingers over the scarred flesh. The skin was reddish and shiny. “Don’t be angry.”
“Mara.” The single word warned her it was too late for that.
She curled her fingers around his and held them tightly. His bright blue eyes were flecked with gold as the wolf simmered under his skin. “I let Livie in earlier. We had a little talk.”
“She did this?” Cade tried to pull away, but Mara cupped the back of his neck.
“I’m fine.”
She didn’t see him move, didn’t even know his arms were around her until she was rolled and atop his lean, hard body. He was too thin. They both were, but the strength of his embrace shocked her. He was breathing heavily.
Mara dipped her head, brushing her lips against his cheek. Kisses trailed from his ear down his neck and she bit his shoulder lightly. He shivered and Mara wriggled her body so she could look him in the eyes. They were both still naked, and the feel of his length under her quickened her breath. Her palms dampened as her element swam beneath her skin.
Her legs parted in invitation, framing his hips, and he groaned.
“Clothes. Now,” Cade managed. “Otherwise I’m going to take you again.”
Would that be so bad? Mara hadn’t felt this needy for a man’s touch in years. With Cade, every feeling she had was dialed up to eleven. Or higher. She ground her hips against his with a sly smile.
“Mara. Please.” Cade grasped her hips firmly and slid her off his body. “Put something on.”
He rolled away, threw his legs over the side of the bed, and tugged on his boxers. He was hard and fighting for control of his breath. The taut muscles of his stomach quivered with every inhalation and his irises glowed with power.
The look in his eyes impressed upon her the seriousness of his plea. Something inside of him was about to snap, and while a part of her wanted him to lose control, to take her and do whatever he wanted with her, she knew there were more important matters than sex. His pack and Katerina for starters. Mara scrambled off the bed and tugged on her pajamas. She could smell him on her. In her tousled hair, on her oversensitive skin, inside of her. Cade was everywhere.
“I need to see Livie,” he said, donning his jeans awkwardly, grimacing as he tried to force his hard length behind the denim. His bare chest heaved with one heavy, deep breath. “And I need a couple of minutes. A little space. It’s too hard. Not . . .
taking you. Stay here. I’ll bring you coffee and then we’ll talk.”
With that, he strode from the room and slammed the door.
“I hope wolves aren’t always this temperamental,” Mara muttered. She studied her reflection for a moment and ran a comb through her auburn locks. Not that Cade seemed to care if she was unkempt. It was more to keep her hands busy. She wandered over to the window and peered out a crack in the drapes. Clouds gathered on the horizon, dark and foreboding. It would rain soon. Mara flexed her fingers. They ached. Her entire body ached. She hadn’t confessed to Cade—or to anyone else—but using her element still hurt. She felt better than she had in months, but she was exhausted, sore, and spent. With a shrug, she climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to her neck. Coffee would help. Until Cade returned, she’d relax.
Cade stood at the kitchen counter, staring out the window. He couldn’t stand being next to Mara right now. Not without kissing her, being wrapped around her, being inside of her. Until the full moon, he’d be irritable and insanely jealous of anyone who touched or even looked at her the wrong way. The mating wasn’t complete. Not yet. Wolves who’d found their mates typically avoided any intimate contact until the night of the full moon, for that was the day the mating call was the strongest. The bond was cemented by running together and coupling as wolves. But how would it work with Mara? Cade wouldn’t shift again and she was human—or something close to human. He didn’t know if he could stand to be in the same house as her for another ten days until the moon reached its apex. He couldn’t leave her, couldn’t stay. And as much as he loved Livie, he could snap her neck for hurting his mate.
A Shift in the Water Page 20
