Sorry, she mouthed. He spared her a single glance, made a deep, rumbling sound in his throat, and wrapped the towel around his hips.
“Answer me,” Livie demanded, then thought better of her tone and lowered her voice. “Please.”
The look of betrayal on Cade’s face cut Mara to her core. His eyes filled with pain. Memories shadowed his face, hunched his shoulders. “I can’t shift. Not anymore. I won’t survive it. I don’t expect you to understand. Either of you.” He pushed past the two women, heading for the guest room, where the door slammed firmly.
Mara leaned against the sink. “Well, that went well.”
Livie’s lower lip quivered. “I know that look in his eyes. It’s the look Shawn gets when I forget about this”—she gestured to her left arm, hanging awkwardly at her side —“and try to reach for something heavy or when my wolf tries to run and trips. It’s fear. Guilt. I spent three days as my wolf after the fire. I was too injured to shift back. When I did, I could barely remember how to talk, let alone think properly.”
Nodding, Mara remembered Cade’s hesitant first words, the shake in his legs as he stood, his fingers fumbling to write, and the uncertain look in his haunted eyes every time she left the room. He’d been afraid to be alone, afraid Katerina’s charm would capture him again and force him to become the animal he now hated. He was wrong about one thing. She did understand a little. She’d been trapped in her own body for months. Unable to see anything but death in front of her and memories behind. Oh she lived, as much as she could, but the threat of her own mortality was always there.
Livie touched her arm. “What do we do now?”
“You’re asking me? You’ve known him for years, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, but you’ve been with him since he shifted back. You were with his wolf before. You saw him when he was half-dead. And you’re his mate. Which means you’re above me in the pack. Or you will be if you petition.”
Mara gritted her teeth and rubbed the back of her neck. “Fine. We’re not doing anything. Not yet. I need a shower. You look like you’re about to fall over. Go tell Cade that you need to rest and kick him out of the guest room. He’s probably sulking in there. I’ll talk to him again after I don’t smell so much like him. It’s driving me insane. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him. And . . . other things.”
The blond wolf giggled. “Gotcha. I’m mated, remember? You don’t want to hug him. You want him naked. I saw you ogling him.”
Mara grimaced. “Like you never looked.”
“Ew!” Livie wrinkled her upturned nose. “That’s basically my brother you’re talking about. Wolves don’t care about being naked. We shift in front of each other all the time. I don’t even think about it. And no. I’ve never looked.” She drew her fingers across her heart. “He’s all yours, babe. I promise.”
Mara shook her head as Livie trudged out of the room. She wasn’t used to this level of openness with a woman she barely knew. If she stayed with Cade, she’d have to get used to a lot of things. Not the least of which were his terrible memories.
Please, let me die. You killed my family. Let me die. The desperate words he’d uttered the previous night would never leave her. Her sister had made a strong alpha wolf beg for death. It terrified her to think that Cade’s werewolf pack and her uncontrolled elemental skill may be the only thing stopping Katerina’s vengeful flames. And now, with Katerina no more than a hundred miles away, what could she do to protect the man she was falling in love with?
Fifteen
After a shower, Mara called Eleanor.
“Mara. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better. Everything hurts. But my energy’s good. I could use a boatload of ibuprofen though. Or Vicodin.” Mara sank down onto her bed and rubbed the back of her neck.
“That’s to be expected. Another few weeks and using your element will come naturally to you.”
“I hope so. Listen, that’s not why I called. My sister apparently burned down a couple of buildings in Bellingham last night.”
“My Goddess,” Eleanor whispered. “That is terrible. Was anyone killed?”
“Several people. Can she track us?”
Eleanor clucked her tongue several times. “Not from Bellingham. No. Not at all unless she also has an air elemental with her. Does she?”
“Cade only mentioned an earth elemental. Not air.”
“Only air can track scents and only then over short distances. Once vehicles are involved, it becomes impossible. No air elemental is that strong.”
A surge of relief washed over Mara. The corners of her lips tugged up into a small smile. “You’re sure?”
“Yes, dear. There is no way any elemental could track you from Bellingham to Seattle. Would you like me to come over? We could work on your charms more. I am going back to Cannon Beach tomorrow, but I’m happy to spend the day with you.”
Mara trapped her lower lip under her teeth for a moment. She did want more practice with her element, but Cade was in a terrible mood. His fears over shifting and the uncertainty about Katerina weighed on him and he needed her. More than she needed Eleanor. “No. I’ll practice on my own. Thank you.”
“Very well. If you change your mind, call Lil. She and I are going to the movies later, but she’ll have her phone. If I don’t see you before I leave town, you take care of yourself—and that wolf of yours.”
“You too.”
After hanging up, Mara found Cade making eggs in the kitchen. She’d dressed herself in jeans and a black sweater that hugged her subtle curves. She’d taken a few minutes to dab on some foundation and blow-dry her auburn locks. She looked and felt almost human, despite the lack of sleep and frustration with the werewolf standing at her stove. “Hey. Where’s Livie?”
He turned, spatula in hand, and gave her a terse nod. “Resting.”
“Eleanor says there’s no way Katerina could track us. Even if she did have an air elemental with her, no one would be powerful enough to track us once we got in the car.”
Cade’s shoulders relaxed. He returned to the breakfast and flipped the omelet in the pan. Scents of butter, cheese, and peppers wafted over her.
“That smells good.” Mara stepped closer and brushed her fingers against his arm. He glared at her and braced his hands against the counter.
“Sit. You need to eat.”
“I need you to stop being an ass and talk to me,” she replied.
“Mara,” he said with a low growl of warning.
“Don’t you Mara me. You’re not my alpha. You think I don’t understand. Well, I do. At least a little.” She rested her hand on his. Something in him calmed at her touch, but his shoulders were still too tense. If he didn’t lighten up, he was going to snap in half.
“I know you’re scared,” she said quietly. “I get it. You can’t show that to Livie or the rest of your pack. I get that too. But you can show it to me. I’m scared too. I don’t want to lose you—to your pack, to Katerina, to anything.”
Cade dropped the spatula and grabbed Mara in a fierce embrace. His body shook with each breath and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply.
“Don’t ask me to shift, honey,” he whispered with his lips against her ear. “I’ll do anything for you. You have to know that, but don’t ask me to shift. I’ll lose myself if I do.”
“I would never let that happen,” Mara replied, rubbing her hands up and down his back. Why couldn’t he trust her? She slid her fingers underneath his sweatshirt and along his skin. His scars and burns were smooth to the touch. It didn’t matter that they’d healed. He carried the memories. So much pain. He’d been through too much. She had her answer—she should have seen it before. She didn’t care if she ever saw the wolf again as long as the man holding her was whole. “Oh Cade . . . I won’t ask you again. I promise.”
“Thank you,” he breathed and squeezed her tighter.
The eggs were burnt by the time Cade let Mara go, but he divided the omelet between two p
lates anyway. They sat close enough to touch and picked at the crispy eggs and browned bits of cheese. After the third bite, Mara had had enough. She pushed her plate away, went to the fridge, and retrieved the dish of leftover lasagna. She set it between them and dug her fork directly into the cold, cheesy layers.
Cade stared at her and then laughed. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t think eggs could taste quite that bad.”
As cold and afraid as Cade had been less than an hour ago, he was now almost relaxed. Their fingers twined around the casserole dish while they traded heated glances over cold pasta. Cade tightened his grip on her hand several times, quirking his lips and taking a deep breath, but each time he gave a terse shake of his head and returned to his lasagna.
“What is it?” Mara asked. “Whatever you have to say, go ahead and say it. What do you want?”
Cade’s eyes darkened. His breath was ragged. “I want to tear your clothes off and lay you out on this table like a banquet. I want to worship your body, make love to you for hours, not take you like I did last night, like some desperate schoolboy who can’t hold his load. I want you out of mind with lust for me because that’s sure as shit what I’m feeling for you right now.”
Mara’s fork clattered to the table. “Oh. Is that all?”
Cade shrugged. “You asked.”
“That I did.”
His rough fingers caressed the inside of her wrist. The electricity that shot up her arm and down to her core tightened her nipples under the sweater. “You’re mine, Mara. And I’m yours. Body and soul. I can’t tell you what happens now. I don’t honestly know. Weres complete their mating in wolf form. At the full moon. But you’re not a wolf and I won’t shift. You can’t know the strength of what I feel for you. I can barely stand to be near you right now. All I can think of is fucking you.”
Mara’s eyes widened. His crude words caused warmth to pool in her belly.
“I’m sorry. You deserve better than me. Tell me to leave and I will. You should have romance. Dating. A normal relationship.” He let her go, shoving his hands under the table.
Mara looked down at her wrist, half expecting to see a bright red scar from the heat of his fingers on her skin. “No.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched under the layer of rough stubble. “No?”
“Do I look upset?” At the shake of his head, she smiled sadly. “I’m thirty-one-years-old. I’ve spent the last eight months of my life preparing to die and now I find out that I can control water. I don’t think the word normal applies to me anymore. I want someone who cares about me. I want someone I don’t have to hide from. If you really do remember your time as the wolf, you’ve seen me at my worst. I was ready to die. I’d made peace with it. When I came home after Thanksgiving dinner, I wanted to give up. I was so tired of fighting. But you were there and—”
A knock at the door interrupted Mara. Frowning, she hurried over to the peephole. “Shit.”
“What is it?” Cade was at her back in an instant, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist.
“Jen.” What was she supposed to do now? Jen thought Cade was a neighbor. She definitely didn’t have any idea he was a werewolf. And hunted by Mara’s sister.
“Invite her in.” Cade nuzzled Mara’s neck and traced tiny kisses and nips against her skin. Shivers ran down her spine.
“Mara? You home?” Jen’s voice was muffled through the door. A moment later, Mara’s phone chirped with a new text message.
She twisted in his arms and stared up into his steely blue eyes. The doorbell rang. “Are you insane?”
He grinned. “Maybe. But unless you’re planning on telling me to leave, she’s going to meet me again eventually. Might as well be on our terms.”
Our terms.The fact that Cade considered there to be terms that were theirs wasn’t lost on her. “Katerina.”
“Isn’t here. Eleanor told you she couldn’t track us. Jen knew about the wolf. She’s seen me with you as a man. If she was working with that bitch, I’d already be dead. I’m not worried. But I will go warn Livie what’s going on so she doesn’t go batshit crazy.” Cade pressed his lips to Mara’s forehead. “She’s your best friend. If you think she can handle knowing about werewolves, if you think she’ll keep my name a secret if anyone were to ask, then tell her. But at least tell her I care about you.”
He released her and strode into the guest room. Something in him had changed overnight. Whatever their coupling had soothed in him made him more of the strong, confident alpha she knew he used to be.
Mara gritted her teeth and opened the door.
“It’s Sunday. You said we’d talk on Sunday. And since you didn’t bother responding to my call last night, you’re going to talk to me now.” Jen glared at Mara. Her gaze roved over Mara’s face, taking in the flushed cheeks, the bright eyes, and the shine to her hair. “You look good. Really good. What happened?”
Stepping aside, Mara gestured for Jen to come in. She hovered in the doorway, glancing back and forth, scanning the hall and the living room. “Where’s the wolf?”
Mara gazed at the closed guest room door. “Gone. Sort of. You don’t have to worry. He’s not coming back.” Jen’s eyes narrowed but she stepped into the house. “Coffee?” Mara asked.
Jen nodded, her short chopped hair settling around her face. Warily, she reached out and pulled Mara into a hug. “I can take care of it if you need to sit down.”
“I feel good. Sit. I’ll get it.” Mara gestured towards her living room, watched Jen go, and turned to her espresso machine. She programmed a cup and lifted her own while the machine did its job. She scowled in disgust at her cup gone cold and set it aside. She’d had enough anyway. Any more and she’d start vibrating.
A quick glance towards the guest room revealed nothing. No murmured voices, no movements. Was Cade giving her time alone with Jen? She desperately wished for him to come out, to wrap his arms around her and calm the fluttering of her heart even as she wanted to keep his existence a secret.
Coffee in hand, Mara tried unsuccessfully not to drag her feet on the way to her couch. How was she supposed to do this? Explain the presence of a man who meant more to her than she was comfortable admitting. Explain that he could transform his body into a massive, regal animal. Jen wouldn’t understand. Would she?
The sight of her rumpled sheets through her open bedroom door returned her mind to previous night. Cade’s mouth on hers, his hands in her hair, his body draped over her. His quiet words of affection. He was right. Whether she could give him what he wanted—a mate—or not, he was part of her life now. She owed it to herself and to him to see where this went and that meant time. Time doing normal things like hanging out with her friends and his pack. Time to learn about each other. Jen would find out. As would Adam and Lisa. She wasn’t dying, so she’d go back to work. So would he, she hoped. If they could escape her sister and feel safe again, they’d try for a life together. Maybe she’d be able to ask his pack to accept her.
“What happened to him? The wolf,” Jen asked once Mara had settled on the couch across from her. Jen’s voice softened. “You loved that animal. I saw it in your eyes on Thanksgiving. Did you call Fish and Wildlife?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Oh shit, Mara. Did he die? Adam said he was half-dead when you found him. I’m so sorry.” Jen leaned forward, reaching across the short distance to touch Mara’s arm.
A tiny smile played on Mara’s lips. “He didn’t die.”
“What? So where is he then?” Jen asked.
The guest room door opened and shut again. Cade walked calmly to Mara’s side, dropped down next to her, and slid an arm around her shoulders. “The wolf healed enough to go. He’s not coming back.” He extended his free hand. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Cade.”
“You. You’re still here.” Jen’s voice hardened and she jabbed a finger towards Cade, refusing to shake his hand. “I knew that story was bullshit. You were fucking him.”
&nbs
p; “Jen! Goddess.” Mara’s cheeks burned. “I was not fucking him when you came over the other day.” But I am now, she thought, squirming in the warmth of Cade’s embrace.
Sharp blue eyes searched Mara’s face. Jen clucked her tongue in disapproval. “You’re too sick—”
“She’s not. Not anymore,” Cade insisted.
Jen sputtered and Mara held up her hand. “He’s right. I think. Something happened to me and I’m okay now. My doctor confirmed it. My numbers are normal. I feel good. I’ve felt good for days. Good enough to”—she looked at Cade, drawing strength from the smirk on his face and the alpha wolf staring at her from behind his eyes—“to start uh, a relationship with Cade.”
“A relationship?” Jen repeated, her gaze flicking from Cade to Mara and back to Cade again.
“Yes. Cade and I are together.”
A low rumble in Cade’s chest, appreciative and possessive, stirred Mara’s insides and created warmth in her belly.
“Together?”
“Will you stop repeating everything I say?”
“Only when you give me something besides these half-ass answers.”
“This isn’t a half-ass answer. It’s the truth. I wasn’t with him when you came over the other day. He was here, and no, he wasn’t naked in my house because of a gas leak. But we’re together now. There’s a lot I can’t explain and I need you to trust me.” Cade’s rough fingers grasped Mara’s. She enjoyed the feel of his skin, the warmth that permeated every inch of him.
Jen glared at Cade. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Cade straightened. “I’d never hurt her. I couldn’t. If you’re worried about her health, don’t. I’d do anything to protect her.”
Silence filled the house, stifling and oppressive. Mara could almost taste it and the tips of her fingers prickled—her element rising to the surface. She needed her best friend to accept Cade’s presence in her life as much as she needed Cade’s presence in the first place.
A Shift in the Water Page 22
