Healing Hearts

by Watters, Kim

  As she staggered across the room, she noticed Rocky had left a present for her. In the early morning light, a pile of brown stuff oozed into the carpet by the front door.

  The alarm went OFF, its blaring beep startled her. She bounded toward the bed to turn it off and stepped on a wet spot on the carpet. “No, Rocky!” she moaned, slapping her forehead. “Dumb me, I didn’t take you out last night.”

  Rocky stood, stretched, then jumped at her as she flung herself on the bed and reached to hit the OFF button. He nipped at her hair and pawed at her back, obviously enjoying whatever game he thought they were playing.

  “Oh, you beast, you.” She turned over, grabbed him and clutched him to her chest. He started whining. Easing her grip, she ruffled the fur behind his ears as she remembered all the diapers she’d changed in home number three. “You’re not potty-trained, are you?” She lifted him into the air and bounced him like a baby. “Well, that’ll change. Mr. Baxter, my landlord, won’t like it if you ruin the carpet.”

  She set him down, cleaned up the mess, and then took him for a quick walk. As she hurriedly dressed for her shift at the diner, she wished she’d listened to Grant’s advice and kept the kennel he’d offered. She should have known after the escapade with the bath that Rocky wasn’t going to be easy to handle, but she’d let her pride get in the way. Look where it had gotten her. She’d disappointed her new boss and now had wet, brown spots on her carpet.

  Today, Rocky would be stuck in the tiny kitchen behind a make-shift gate while she was gone so he couldn’t cause any more trouble, and tonight he’d be in a kennel. What could one of those things cost anyway? She’d just add it to her already outrageous bill. She leaned down and kissed him good-bye. “Be a good boy, Rocky. I mean it.”

  Eight hours later, Sarah pedaled like crazy to get to her apartment. She had to let Rocky out, change, and get to the clinic to start working off her debt. She was late.

  It wasn’t her fault the other waitress, Mabel, had called in sick which left Sarah to do all the work at Greer’s Diner. And it certainly wasn’t her fault that the lunch rush lasted longer and stayed later than usual. She glanced at her watch—2:25. She’d never make it and she couldn’t call even if she had the number. She didn’t have a phone.

  Barreling through the last intersection, Sarah narrowly missed a turning vehicle and skidded to a halt in the complex driveway. She locked up her precious bike, her only means of transportation, and started up the stairs.

  On the second level, the resident busybody, Mrs. Maddox, stopped her. “Good afternoon, Sarah.” She planted her rotund body in Sarah’s path and she stopped short, barely stopping in time from plowing into the elderly woman.

  “Hi, Mrs. Maddox. Going out? It’s a beautiful day.” Sarah fidgeted with a loose strand of hair, not wanting to continue the conversation, but not wanting to be rude either. Upstairs, she swore she heard Rocky scratch at the door, which was impossible. He was locked in the kitchen.

  “No. Actually, I was waiting for you, my dear. I saw you ride up just now and practically get yourself killed. Why in my day a young woman didn’t…”

  Sarah’s stomach clenched, thinking about the upcoming lecture. Mrs. Maddox was at least 80 and living in a time warp. Her downstairs neighbor didn’t believe in women working outside the home or living on their own, and wasn’t afraid to voice her opinion. Sarah didn’t want to think about the speech she’d get if the woman knew of her past.

  “Times have changed.” She tried to slink by her.

  “Yes, yes. So they tell me.” She tsked. “Now there was something else I meant to tell you. What was it?”

  Sarah leaned against the dingy, white wall, knowing she’d be stuck until her neighbor’s memory came back. Everyone in the building knew how scatterbrained Mrs. Maddox was and tried to avoid her. Usually, Sarah was lucky, but today everything was going wrong.

  Upstairs, Sarah could definitely hear Rocky’s whine. Her poor pet had been locked up to long and probably needed to go to the bathroom, if he hadn’t already.

  “Oh, yes. Seems like a nice fellow. My Harry would have liked him. Why he took my garbage out last night. Came right down from your apartment and swept it out of my arms as he pointed to Justin Altmans’ skateboard lying in the hallway. I’m blind in the dark. Why I would’ve fallen down the stairs if your young man hadn’t come to my rescue.”

  Sarah’s jaw dropped open. Her neighbor had to be talking about Grant. No one besides Lorraine, who lived two doors down from Sarah, had ever come to her apartment. Where was the lecture, the chastising about men coming to visit single women? “But he’s not my man, he’s just…” Just what? An interesting, kind man, and as far as she was concerned, unavailable. She swallowed. “…he’s just a friend.”

  “Oh. What a pity. I suppose you’re off again. You young people always are. Can’t seem to stay in one place. Well, don’t let me stop you. Just make sure you bring your friend by for proper introductions next time he visits.”

  “Sure.” Sarah doubted that would happen any time soon. Relieved, she brushed past her and started up the stairs.

  “And as for your other friend, bring him down to visit soon, too. I always wanted a dog, but my poor Harry…”

  Stunned, she nodded, wondering how her neighbor had found out about Rocky. Mrs. Maddox must have heard him downstairs in her apartment. Great. Obviously, Sarah’s idea hadn’t worked. If Rocky had whined, scratched and barked all day, then the whole building knew about him. Mr. Baxter was sure to visit. She hoped he liked dogs.

  Dashing up the remaining stairs, Sarah was glad to finally be home. Home. Something she had little experience with, but after three months in Greer, it started to feel that way. It had to be Rocky. She threw open the door and entered. “Rocky, I’m home.”

  Her elation died and her heart sank as a gold, wiggly body came charging out from behind her futon, a scrap of red fabric, suspiciously looking like one of her favorite pairs of underwear, dangled from his mouth. Sarah groaned and stepped further into her apartment and eyed the entire area in disbelief. Rocky was supposed to be locked in the kitchen, not gnawing her underwear, or as she looked around, her shoes, her furniture and her schoolbooks.

  An earthquake couldn’t have done as much damage.

  Sarah sank to the floor. “What am I gonna do with you?”

  He ran to her, her panties still in his mouth, and nudged her free hand, begging for a pet. Burying her face into his soft, fragrant fur, Sarah hugged him and moaned before she glanced around her studio. One of her newest black pumps had the heel chewed off, her dirty clothes were strewn all over the floor and the newly painted chair she’d rescued from the dumpster last week now had bite marks on all four legs. As for the make-shift gate—a mounted but frameless poster of Sylvester Stallone as Rocky—that was supposed to contain her pup in the kitchen lay face down, all four corners chewed.

  There was no way Sarah could keep this dog no matter how much she liked him, no, loved him. She couldn’t afford it.

  Grant looked at his watch for the fifth time—2:55. Sarah had told him she’d be there at 2:30. He wondered whether she’d come in at all. Maybe it would be better if she didn’t after his reaction to her in the bathroom last night, but he knew she wouldn’t back out of her promise.

  He strolled to the front to talk with his aunt who helped out as his receptionist until he could hire one fulltime. Right now, Grant could barely scrape together the rent, the loan payments and the daily supplies. Still, he loved being a vet and had finally managed to make his dream of starting a clinic in Greer a reality last spring

  “She’s not here yet, if that’s what you want to know, and she hasn’t called.” His plump, dark-haired aunt sat back in her chair and stared at him from over her bifocals, a grim expression crossing her features. “When are you going to learn that you can’t save the world?”

  Grant leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “And when are you going to quit asking, Aunt Mary?”

&
nbsp; His aunt’s look softened as she pulled her glasses from her nose. “Oh, you’re just like your Uncle Gus. Always trying to help someone whether they want it or not.” She tapped at his elbow with her glasses. “Now straighten up, my sister taught you better manners than that. Here comes your new assistant.”

  Straightening, Grant looked out the large front windows as his aunt disappeared into the back room. Sarah was in the parking lot, bending over her bike. She’d come after all. A strange emotion shot through him and he swore it was relief. Late was better than never.

  His heart lurched though when he saw her face, set and determined, and the yellow bundle in the bike basket. She’d brought Rocky back. Something must have happened to make her change her mind.

  He held his breath as she lifted the puppy from the basket, but expelled it quickly when he realized she was using the leash and collar he’d left at her apartment. He hoped he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion as he strode forward and opened the door.

  “Hi, Sarah. Hi, Rocky.” The furry bundle jumped on him, begging for attention. Scratching Rocky behind the ears, he sensed Sarah’s agitation. Something was definitely wrong.

  “Hi. Sorry I’m late. I…” Sarah looked at the floor, unable to make eye contact with him. “I had to work late, and had to deal with a few things when I got home and—”

  “Did Rocky misbehave?”

  She dredged up a half-smile. “I wouldn’t have used that word exactly. Total destruction’s more like it. I’ve a half-eaten shoe, a book report that has to be rewritten by tomorrow, and big, brown stains on my carpet. I—I’m sorry. I can’t keep him.”

  Sadness spread through her as she handed the leash to Grant. Overnight, she’d come to love the fluff-ball, but neither her landlord, nor her wallet could take the strain.

  Still avoiding Grant's gaze, she looked at the poster of the happy family on the wall. Rocky belonged in a scene like that. Maybe some day, after she finished school, found a decent job and settled down, she could marry and have a child or two. Then she could have a dog like Rocky.

  She swallowed the fierce emotions rising in her throat. Marriage? Children? Where had those ideas come from? She’d never thought about that before. But then again, she’d never met anyone like Grant.

  As a child, she’d dreamed about acceptance, love and happiness—she’d longed to be part of a normal family—but those hopes died the day the State stepped in and the harsh realities of life intruded. She’d learned to protect herself by shutting down her emotions, which she had to do now.

  Sarah cleared her mind. A relationship with Grant wasn’t possible. Relationships involved two people. She knew that from reading Lorraine’s latest copy of Cosmopolitan. In fact, she’d failed the quiz miserably.

  She wanted Grant—she couldn’t deny the attraction she felt last night, even though the idea terrified her. Depending on someone else only led to disappointment and hurt. Things she’d had too much of in her life already.

  “I’m sorry, too.” Grant spoke so softly, Sarah barely heard him over the low hum of the air conditioning unit.

  The tone of his voice matched her own glum mood and reminded her of her commitment. Her pride wouldn’t allow her to walk away completely. She still had her debt to pay. “I’ll work here as promised until the bill is paid, Dr. Morrison, but you’ll have to find another home for him.”

  Deep down, Sarah cried as Grant took hold of the leash. Years of practice held back the tears, but decades of longing rose to the surface. Sarah hid behind a mask of indifference. Most of the time it worked, but today, giving up Rocky did her in. She was abandoning her dog as she’d been abandoned as a child. Despair ate at her fragile emotions.

  She had no choice though, her finances were too tight and she could barely put food on the table as it was even though she ate two meals at the diner during her shift. She could make it alone, but she couldn’t keep replacing what Rocky ruined. Sarah didn’t dare think about what she would do if she got kicked out of her apartment. She refused to go on government assistance.

  Something must have shown in her face. “I have an idea.” Grant handed Rocky back. “Don’t give him up yet. Why don’t you drop him off here before you go to work, check on the boarded animals, and then take him home at the end of the day? That way, he won’t be able to destroy anything else. You’ll both be happier, and together.”

  The suggestion almost sounded too good to be true. Could she do that? Or would that put her even more in debt to the doctor? Sarah sighed, sank to her knees and rubbed behind Rocky’s ears. He grunted in contentment and stretched his neck out for more.

  Sarah crumbled. Rocky touched her deep inside. She’d been nuts to think she could give him up so easily. Still, she wasn’t completely convinced Grant’s suggestion could work. She looked up at the man standing next to her and her defenses waivered. “At five in the morning?”

  “Whatever time is convenient.” Grant knelt, too, and began to massage the dog’s back.

  As his hand connected with hers, Sarah’s breath caught in her throat, yet she didn’t remove her hand. His touch felt right, protective, strong enough to help her face the world. For as long as she could remember, she’d fended for herself, depended on no one, asked for nothing. Yet in a heartbeat, or the touch of a hand, she wanted that to change.

  Except wanting got her only heartache.

  “I could use your help, Sarah.” Grant squeezed her hand lightly. “And remember, the extra time would get your bill paid off sooner.”

  Disappointment coursed through her. She should’ve known better. He didn’t harbor any thoughts for her other than that of an employee no matter what silly ideas danced through her head. He wanted her to make his life easier. Not quite the same as a government check, but close enough in her book. Some things never changed.

  “I don’t know.” Despite her weakening, Sarah couldn’t give in completely. “I have night school three times a week. I’d still have to worry about Rocky then.” She tried to pull her hand out from under his grasp, but his grip was firm.

  She could have sworn she heard him sigh.

  “Look. It’s up to you. I’m trying to give you another option here. I’ll give you a key so you can leave him here and take him home when you’re done. You can also borrow a kennel until he’s housebroken. As for the chewing, I’d suggest a couple of toys, but you don’t have to pay the bill if you don’t want to keep him.”

  Sarah looked into Grant’s dark blue eyes which were so deep, she could swim in them. She shifted uncomfortably, instantly transported back to home number four.

  Her foster sister stood next to her at the edge of the lake, a taunting sneer on her lips. “Go on, Sarah. It’s not deep. You’re not scared, are you?”

  So Sarah went in, knowing the lake was off-limits without adult supervision. How was she to know the bottom dropped suddenly into the inky stillness way over her head? At least there, she knew how to swim. Here, she floundered, unable to look away, feeling herself sink into the unknown depths without a life vest and her hands tied behind her.

  “I do want to keep him. “ Sarah swallowed, struggling to regain her composure. If everything worked out, as Grant believed it would, she’d be able to keep Rocky. But she’d also be indebted to him forever. No amount of time at the clinic could repay him for his generosity and the fact that for some crazy reason, he trusted her. She had to take the risk. “If you’re sure it’s no problem, I’ll accept your offer, and the kennel, but why are you doing this?”

  “Doing what?”

  “Being so—so kind,” she whispered, barely able to form the words caught in her throat.

  Grant stared at the woman beside him. For a second, her pale, heart-shaped face radiated longing, mingled with bewilderment, before a wall descended, shutting him out. Disappointment tugged at his heart but her actions didn’t surprise him. It only added more fuel to that damned protected streak he harbored for strays.

  He stood and held out his hand to help her rise.
“I treat all my employees this way.” He lied. He didn’t really treat all his employees the way he wanted to treat Sarah. He only had two and they were both family; his Aunt Mary, whom he’d known all his life, and his seventeen-year-old niece, Amanda, his sister Patty’s daughter, who came in every few days to help out.

  No. He sure didn’t want to consider Sarah one of the family. Right now he wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss away the doubts, the sadness, the hesitation he saw in her eyes, but he couldn’t. She was his employee.

  Still, she brought out an instinct in him he couldn’t ignore. Regardless of what Gillian said, he couldn’t turn his back on someone in need, even though he knew Sarah would never ask.

  Grant straightened his shoulders again. “Come into my office a second, and bring Rocky so he stays out of trouble.” He gave her a reassuring smile before motioning her to follow him. “You’ll need something to wear while you’re here. Have a seat.”

  As he waved her into a brown leather chair that matched his, Grant pulled out another sack from beneath his mahogany desk and handed it to her, hoping she liked it, and would accept it as a gift.

  He watched in apprehension as she reached in the bag and pulled out the colorful scrub top with cartoon characters of dogs and cats printed all over it. With some hesitation, she slipped it on. It fit her small frame perfectly. “For me? To keep?”

  “Yes. It’s a gift, unless you want to add it to your tab.” Grant tried to keep the uncertainly from his voice as he leaned back in his chair. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Morrison.” She paused a second as if making a decision. “I’ll accept your gift. So what are my duties here? I’ve wasted enough of your time today.”

  It amazed Grant how quickly she could school her emotions. At the sight of the top, her face lit up, but in the next second that wall descended again. What had happened to Sarah that a simple gesture—a gift—could produce such a reaction? What caused her reluctance, that chip on her shoulder?