by Tina Leonard
She shook her head. “I’m just nervous, I think. You?”
“No way. I’m going to be a husband and a father. Life is good.”
She took a deep breath. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not being afraid of…stepparenting.”
He laid a finger over her lips. “Parenting. No step. When we slow down and you catch your breath, I’d like to adopt Penny and Perrin, if you’ll let me.”
“I—I have to think about that,” she said, wondering why she held back. But the very act of allowing the children to be adopted seemed to push her deceased husband very far into the children’s background. Was that the right thing to do?
“There’s plenty of time. Right now I’m going to drink a beer with Josiah as my bachelor celebration. I’ll see you at the rehearsal tonight.” He kissed her goodbye. More than anything, Laura was afraid that she was going to awaken and find this had all been a fairy tale dream just beyond her grasp.
And then she realized why: Gabriel had never told her he loved her. That he was in love with her. He loved her children. He really wanted to be a father.
As for love—that word had never crossed Gabriel’s lips.
* * *
THE REHEARSAL WOULD BE an easy step toward marrying Gabriel. Laura tried to keep calm, telling herself that just because the wedding had grown a little bigger and more elaborate than she’d expected, this was no cause for nerves. Nor was marrying one of the finest men she’d ever met. If she was a little disappointed Gabriel hadn’t ever actually said he loved her, she was sure that was something that would come with time.
She reminded herself she was the one who’d insisted on boundaries when he’d first asked her. He was probably trying not to scare her. This time, there was no reason for them to be marrying, except good old-fashioned romance.
The dress she was wearing tonight was a straight column of light silk she’d worn to church many times. Gabriel would never know this gown was old. But her wedding gown was brand-new. Designed by Mimi’s friend in Tulip, it was a shell-pink wrapping of silk and lace, falling straight to her ankles without any fuss. She loved the simplicity of it. Nothing about it reminded her of her first wedding, and she felt beautiful when she put it on.
Gabriel would be very handsome in a charcoal-gray tuxedo. She got the kids ready, and headed over to the Morgan ranch. Picnic tables and chairs had been set up on the lawn for the rehearsal dinner. White tents protected the guests from any shower which might fall, but the skies were clear.
She pushed down her rising panic, resenting it. Where were these feelings of worry coming from? Normal bridal nerves, she assured herself. Every bride probably got them.
She hadn’t when she’d married Dave.
But she’d been young and idealistic then. Now there were many more people counting on her to make the right decision. The diamond Gabriel had given her sparkled on her finger. It was a bigger diamond than she expected; she’d never dreamed of owning anything so beautiful. Despite the sun, goose pimples ran over her arms.
The minister had asked them to be early, so that he could have a private discussion with Gabriel and Laura. She saw his car parked in the drive so she hurried to knock on the door. It swung open, and Josiah engulfed her in a hug. “You’re family now! You don’t have to knock on the door like a guest, Laura!”
“Thank you,” she said, letting herself enjoy Josiah’s bear hug. Across the room, Gabriel smiled at her. The minister smiled at her. It was a happy occasion—nothing to be afraid of.
“I want to go over the solemnity of the vows with you and Gabriel,” Pastor Riley said. “This is just some quiet time for us to reflect on the meaning of the ceremony before you say your vows in front of your guests.”
“All right.” She slid into the chair he held out for her, unable to meet Gabriel’s gaze.
“Did either of you want to write any of your own vows?” Pastor Riley asked.
“I don’t think so,” Laura murmured. They hadn’t talked about it—maybe traditional vows were best. Gabriel shook his head.
Nodding, Pastor Riley put on his glasses. “Marriage is a holy occasion, as you know. From the beginning of the vows, which ends with the final instruction ‘till death do you part—’”
Laura stood. Gabriel followed suit, surprised. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. Gabriel, forgive me. I truly thought I was having simple bridal nerves. But it’s more than that.” She took a deep breath, struggled for the right words. “This feels like a test I know I’m not going to pass.”
“Laura,” Gabriel said, his tone sympathetic, “would a few moments alone with Pastor Riley help?”
She shook her head, alarmed by the panic spreading inside her. They couldn’t possibly understand. She’d done the death-do-you-part thing once. Death did part her from her beloved, cruelly early, and she’d never be able to say those words again knowing how sinister they were. They weren’t romantic at all.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. She handed Gabriel the ring and backed away from the table. “I— Maybe it’s just too soon,” she said.
Gabriel followed her. “Laura. Are you all right?”
She gathered up Penny and Perrin, walking them to the car. She strapped the children into their seats. “I can’t do it. I suppose in retrospect I wanted a Vegas drive-through type of wedding so it wouldn’t seem so momentous. I realize that now. I’m just too scared to get married again, Gabriel. Which sounds silly, I know, but it’s not like falling off a bicycle. As Pastor Riley said, the vows are solemn and meaningful—but they don’t always last.”
“All right. Don’t worry. Somehow we’ll get this to work out.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m crazy,” she said, trying not to cry.
“No crazier than anybody else around here. Frankly, if we got to the altar without a couple of misfires, we probably wouldn’t be doing ourselves any good. Practice makes perfect.”
“Do you mean it?” Laura wasn’t sure she deserved this much forgiveness.
“Oh, hell, yeah.” He shrugged. “Go home. Change your clothes. Forget about this whole thing. Call me when…when you can.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
He shrugged. “Bye, Penny. Bye, Perrin.”
They looked at him through the window and Laura turned on the car and drove away, feeling like she’d just given up the best thing that could have ever happened to her.
“I am so, so sorry,” she murmured to the children. “You have no idea what your mother just took from your life.”
She had taken the coward’s way out, and now she knew she was in love with Gabriel Morgan. And the thought of losing him, the way she had Dave, was a fear she could not face.
* * *
“WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?” Josiah demanded. Pastor Riley looked at Gabriel sympathetically.
Gabriel shrugged. He appreciated the concern, but he really wasn’t surprised. “My bride got the jitters.”
“Huh.” Josiah shook his head. “Laura’s always been a cool, practical kind of girl. Usually knows what she wants.”
“Oh, she knows what she wants. She just can’t figure out how to get there.” Gabriel ushered the minister into the kitchen and poured them all some tea. “I bet wedding cake freezes just fine. Tuxes can be reordered. Pastor, you can use the flowers for this weekend’s services, can’t you?”
“Or I can have them delivered to some older folks’ homes. They’d really appreciate that, Gabriel.” Pastor Riley shook his head. “I’ve known Laura Adams a long time. She’s a wonderful woman. She’ll come around.”
“I know. She’s just not a marrying kind of girl. At least not right now,” Gabriel replied.
“You know, I think you have a point,” Josiah said. “The best things in life don’t come easy.”
“See? All those good lessons you gave us growing up are coming in handy now,” Gabriel said wryly. “A lesser man might give up on a good thing if he hadn’t learned that patience
is a virtue.”
Josiah grunted. “You didn’t learn patience in my house.”
“That was the military. You taught me life wasn’t always easy. I can wait on Laura.”
Pastor Riley nodded. “I’ll notify Mimi, and she can help me let the guests know. I’m always available when Laura is ready.”
“Thanks.” He walked Pastor Riley to the door, then headed upstairs. Grabbing a duffel bag, he tossed in shirts, jeans, all his clothing. His father stood in the doorway, watching.
“What are you doing now?”
Gabriel wasn’t sure how to explain his plan. “For now, leaving Ben with the upkeep of the ranch.”
“I thought you said you were okay with Laura having second thoughts.”
Gabriel looked at his father. “She says it’s the ceremony she can’t go through again. I think she was fine up until the ‘I do forever’ part.” He shrugged. “Luckily for her, I learned life could be very short in the military. If she doesn’t want to put the words on it right now, I understand. But I’m still going to be with her, as a husband, and as a father to her children.”
Josiah handed him his boots. “And what if she says—”
“She won’t,” Gabriel said. He’d held that woman, made love to her. He knew how she felt about him. “It’s up to me to give her space.”
“By moving in with her?”
“By going slow.” Gabriel picked up his duffel and shook his father’s hand. “When are you leaving for France?”
Josiah grunted. “I was leaving after we threw the paper hearts at the happy couple.”
Gabriel grinned. “Plan on making a return trip in the near future.”
He walked away, confident that Laura and he could pass whatever test she was worried about—together. She just needed a teacher to help her study, and he had lots of lessons left to give her.
And a wedding ring.
Chapter Fifteen
“I’m so sorry, Mimi, about all your hard work.” Knowing that guests needed to be notified, Laura had driven from Gabriel’s ranch straight to the Double M. “I just couldn’t make myself do it. It was like there was a giant sign that said Go The Other Way flashing at me.”
“Well, you’re not exactly a runaway bride,” Mimi said, hugging her. “You told Gabriel what was happening, and he understood. Believe me, there are a lot of couples in this town who didn’t make it to the altar smoothly, and I’m one of them.”
Laura couldn’t imagine Mason and Mimi not having an easy courtship, but she did remember rumors that Mason had jumped through a few complicated hoops to win Mimi. “Thank you.”
“I bet Josiah just about cried.” Mimi smiled. “He’s been itching to get his boys to the altar.”
Laura didn’t feel good about that. Josiah had been so good to her and she felt she’d let him down. “I left so quickly I barely saw Josiah. But he’d been so nice, even telling me not to knock on the door anymore now that I was family.”
Mimi patted her hand. “You’re still family. Josiah made that clear a long time ago.”
She felt better. Slowly but surely, her panic ebbed away.
“You did the right thing,” Mimi said. “It’s never good to feel pushed toward a decision.”
“I really do like Gabriel.”
Mimi smiled. “I know.”
Laura hoped she hadn’t lost any chance she’d had with him. He was gorgeous, sexy, kind. Loving. She was in love with him. “I think I was a little nervous that he hasn’t told me he loved me.”
Mimi paused in the wrapping up of some hors d’oeuvres that had been meant for the rehearsal dinner. “He hasn’t?”
Laura shook her head.
“Men don’t always talk about their emotions. Sometimes they expect us to divine their feelings.”
“I’m not good with divining,” Laura said, and Mimi laughed.
“I can’t remember how long it took for Mason to tell me he loved me, but it does seem like forever. It was like pulling a mule out of a barn in winter.” She put some food into the refrigerator. “Gabriel seems a lot like Mason. You can read a lot about their feelings from their actions.”
Gabriel was a man of action. She could count on him to never be boring. “Can I help you with anything?”
Mimi shook her head. “Right now, I want you to go home and put your feet up. Play with your children. Do something relaxing. You’ve been through a lot lately. Take some time to smell the roses, as they say.”
Laura gathered up her children and embraced her friend. Mimi held her for a good long hug, and Laura thought for the hundredth time how lucky she was to have such wonderful people around her.
She drove home, realizing she’d expected Gabriel to be parked in her driveway. He walked over to help her take the kids out of the car. “I hope you know how glad I am to see you,” she told him.
He nodded, grinned at her. Desire melted through her, right down to her bones. “I know you want me.”
She shook her head and helped Penny to the house; Gabriel carried Perrin. “I wonder why you still want me.”
“Because I do. That’s all I know,” Gabriel said, putting Perrin on the floor with his toys. “I’m moving in, unless you object.”
“I was hoping you would,” Laura said, surprising herself.
“And what about gossip?” he asked.
“I’ll try to save your reputation eventually,” she said.
He slid her ring across the kitchen table. “Put that in your jewelry box until you’re ready for it.”
She picked up the beautiful sparkling ring, then handed it back to him with a shake of her head. “Thank you for trying to be a hero. It hasn’t gone unnoticed.”
He shrugged and got down on the floor with Perrin. Penny came to sit beside him. “I’m going to like this parenting stuff.”
* * *
GABRIEL TOLD HIMSELF he was doing the right thing. Even if Laura looked nervous, she hadn’t kicked him out.
He decided the best path was to start off as friends.
It was going to be hard, but he vowed to go slow. Let her make all the moves. The prize would be worth it in the end.
A persistent ringing of the doorbell sounded. He glanced around for Laura, but she’d gone to the back of the house. Shrugging, he decided that since this was now his home, he could open the door just as well.
Dane and Pete grinned at him. “Hey. You’re not supposed to see the bride before the wedding,” Pete said. He came inside the house, looking around with approval. “Small. Clean. Bright. I like it.”
“The wedding is canceled. Sorry you made the trip.” Gabriel looked his brothers over. “You look like just fell out of a laundry bag.”
“We’ve been doing something I never thought I’d do,” Dane said. “We volunteered as clowns at a rodeo. Then made a side trip. Can we sit down or not?”
“It’s not really my house,” Gabriel said, then remembered he was practicing fathering and marriage. “Sure, have a seat. Play with my kids.”
Pete eyed him as he sat. “How are they yours if the wedding is canceled? Sorry about that, by the way.”
“Don’t be. Some things turn out for the best.”
“Always the optimist. Did you get cold feet?” Dane shook his head. “Marriage and Morgans don’t mix well.”
“Laura had second thoughts. So I decided to move in and show her what she’s missing out on.”
“Brave. Egotistical, but brave.” Dane grinned. “I decided that while I was in town for your nuptials, I’d best take a look at this Miss Suzy Winterstone.”
“And?” Gabriel pulled Perrin in to his lap.
“I’m so glad I didn’t allow Pop to guilt me into anything. She isn’t my type.”
“How do you know? Did you talk to her?”
“I watched her playing at the playground with her twins.” He glanced at Penny and Perrin. “I’m not cut out for the playground lifestyle. I’m not even cut out for living in Texas.”
“You live in Watauga, yo
u’re a Texas Ranger,” Gabriel reminded him for the hundredth time. “I’ve never understood you being something you didn’t want to be.”
“What, like a housemate instead of a husband?” Dane asked, taking a small dig at Gabriel’s circumstances. “Jeez, Gabriel, take it easy on a guy. Part of my issue is that I let Pop kick me into the military. I got out as fast as I could, but what else was I suited for besides protecting, keeping order and handling guns?”
“Sounds like an excellent résumé to me,” Gabriel said dryly. “So back to the playful Miss Winterstone.”
“Okay. She’s cute, I have to admit, but a little fuller-figured than I like.”
“Because she has year-old twins.”
“Perhaps. But I sense she’s just one of those big-boned girls.”
“Not a bad thing, in my book.” Laura was nice and petite, but nobody would call her thin. She had lots of curves he’d love to discover all over again.
“I think she might be German or French or something.” Dane shook his head. “If I’d had your skills, I could have probably understood what she was saying to her children.”
“Yeah.” Gabriel grinned. It sounded as if his brother had happened upon the babysitter at work, but he wasn’t going to share that. Let Dane figure it all out on his own—it was more fun that way. “So where are you headed now?”
“Well, since there’ll be no wedding, I guess I’m free for the weekend. What’s Pop doing?”
“Last I heard, he was heading out.”
“And you’re staying here?”
“Nothing’s moving me,” Gabriel said. “This is my family now.”
“Wow.” Pete shook his head, walked to the door. “You actually already seem like an old married man. Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” He hated to ask but made himself do it. “Ever hear from Jack?”
“Nah. He went off to lick his wounds. We’ll probably never know what happened, you know?” Pete said.
Pete and Dane seemed resigned to this, but it bothered Gabriel. Their family was so sporadic, unsettled. “Keep in touch, all right?”
“I will.” Dane waved at him. “Give my regards to the family.”
