He looked at the front door of the house that had been his for years, and knowing he wasn’t welcome there hurt. He couldn’t enter the house as if it was his anymore, so he climbed the porch steps and knocked.
The door swung open after only a few moments, revealing Carissa. “Dad!” She flung herself at him and he caught her, burrowing his nose into her hair. The familiar scent of strawberry shampoo assaulted him, making the longing even worse. He hoped the decision he had made would be worth leaving his family behind.
“Hey, honey. How did school go today?”
“I had a math test, and Annabel told me that—”
Thomas tuned her out as he looked around the living room. Laura was nowhere in sight, and he was anxious about the idea of seeing her. He didn’t know how she was going to react at seeing him again. “Where’s your mother?”
“In the kitchen.”
“I’m going to go and talk to her, okay? Can you try to find Elias in the meantime?”
“I think he’s somewhere outside.”
“Good, go and call him, then wait for us here.”
Thomas waited for Carissa to run outside before walking to the kitchen. Laura was baking cookies, just like she always did when she was stressed. “Hi.”
She didn’t turn, but she did answer. “Hi, Thomas. Are you here to tell the kids about you?”
“Yeah, and I wanted to apologize.”
Laura turned. She looked better than she had the day before, but her eyes were still haggard, the whites streaked with red as if she’d cried again recently. “What for?”
“For hurting you. For not being the man you needed. For—”
“Shut up, Thomas.”
Thomas closed his mouth with an audible click.
Laura nodded at the sudden silence and continued, “You have nothing to apologize for, except for the fact that you should have told me about you years ago. You can’t help who you are, and you can’t help who you love and who your mate is. I’m not going to hate you for it. I’m not going to hate you, period.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to behave now that I’ve told you.”
“Behave like you did for the past few years. I thought about what you told me the entire night. I just couldn’t sleep, and... it still hurts like a bitch, don’t believe it doesn’t, but I do realize that we always were more friends than lovers, even if we had sex.”
Thomas cringed. He loved Laura and it was true they had slept together, but it wasn’t something he felt comfortable talking about, especially not at the moment. “Yeah, okay.”
“Good. I already have the suitcases out and some boxes.”
Those words made Thomas’s leaving even more real, but before he could add anything else, he heard Carissa calling from the living room. “Dad? Eli’s here!”
Thomas wanted nothing more than to run away, and he turned to his wife. “What should I tell her?”
“The truth.”
“All of it?”
“Tell them what you feel comfortable with, Thomas, although if you don’t tell everything, you’ll have to go through this again, and I don’t think Carissa will be happy to know you lied to her even more than you already did.”
“But what if she gets angry with me? What if she doesn’t want to see me anymore after this?”
“You’re her father, and she loves you. She’ll probably get angry, maybe she’ll avoid you for a while, but she’ll get over it.”
“Okay. I can do this. I can do it.” Thomas slumped against the counter. “I can’t do this, Laura.”
Laura glared. “Just get out there and be a man.”
“Are you coming with me?”
“Yes, but you’re going to be the one to tell them. I’m just here to reassure them that we both still love them no matter what.”
Thomas nodded. No matter how angry he had been at Craig earlier, he desperately wished the man was with him at the moment. He needed his mate’s support, and he didn’t have it. It didn’t make things easier.
When Thomas walked into the living room, Carissa was watching TV, but Elias smiled at him as soon as he saw him. The fact that Elias already knew most of what Thomas was about to confess made his heart a little lighter, because he knew his son accepted him no matter what. “Can you turn the TV off, please? I have to talk to you.”
Carissa wasn’t particularly happy to obey, but after grumbling a few times she did and turned to face Thomas. He sat on the couch next to Elias and in front of Carissa before taking a deep breath. “Okay. I have to tell you something, and it’s not easy for me to do this.”
Thomas felt a warm hand on his shoulder blade and gave his son a grateful smile for the support. “I love both of you and your mother very much, but, well, we were forced to get married twenty years ago.”
“What do you mean?” Elias asked, and Thomas peeked at his daughter. Carissa’s eyes were huge and her fists were balled on her knees, but she was listening.
“Well, you know how Erskine was. We all had to obey him, and if we didn’t, bad things happened. He... wanted the pack to have more children, and he thought all members of a certain age should have been married. I was nineteen at the time, and my father wanted me to obey, so I did. Your mother and I were friends, and we thought that getting married with each other was better than what could have happened if someone else had chosen for us.”
“So what, you didn’t love each other?” Carissa asked, and Thomas could see the beginning of a temper explosion.
“No, we did love each other, just not romantically.”
“But you didn’t want to get married.”
“No. I don’t regret what we did, because our marriage gave me you and your brother, but now Erskine is gone and we can both finally do what we want.”
Carissa opened her mouth, but Laura grabbed her hand and narrowed her eyes at Thomas.
He knew he was messing it up, but he really didn’t know how he could do it better.
“What your father is trying to say is that now we don’t have to stay together anymore, and we can find someone we really love. It doesn’t mean we will love you less, it just means we can finally be ourselves.”
Thomas was glad to hear that Laura was including herself in their decision to separate, even if it really depended on him.
“You’re divorcing? What, does dad already have someone else?” Carissa asked. She seemed to be teetering between tears and anger, and Thomas wasn’t sure which one would be better.
“I, well, I don’t have someone else, not exactly, but—”
“How could you cheat on mom?” Carissa was on her feet and facing Thomas. Anger had clearly won. Damn.
“Dad didn’t cheat on mom. You should know he would never do something like that,” Elias intervened. “Dad, you should just tell her. You’re making a mess.”
Thomas scowled at his son, but he knew Elias was right. “Cary, sweetheart, as much as I love your mother, I could never really be with her. I’m gay, honey. I’ve always been.”
That melted Carissa’s anger right away. She sat back down, gaping at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. “You’re... gay?”
“I am. I never told anyone because I thought I would stay with your mother forever, but... I’ve met my mate, and he’s a man.” Thomas didn’t add that he’d already claimed Craig. He wanted to give his daughter a few minutes to digest his revelations, but he knew he had to tell them. They would find out anyway, since Elianor had seen him doing it. It was going to be all over the pack in only a few hours—if it wasn’t already—and they deserved to hear the truth from him.
“I just... I don’t want you two to divorce! Isn’t there a way for you to stay together?” Carissa’s eyes were pleading, and Thomas’s heart broke. He wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted, but he couldn’t, not this time.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore, Cary, I promise.”
“I don’t b
elieve you! If you really loved me, you’d stay with mom!”
“Who is it?” Elias interceded.
“It’s Craig.” Elias’s eyes widened, but Laura and Carissa didn’t react.
“Really?” Elias tilted his head to the side. “Uh, I guess I can see the appeal. You’re going to look good together.”
Thomas saw Laura’s eyes widen, and since he wanted to finish his confession before Elias might do his own, he said, “That’s not all. I, well, I kind of claimed him today.”
“You claimed Craig?”
“You did what?”
“Already?” Carissa jumped from the couch and stormed out. A few minutes later, Thomas heard a door slam upstairs.
“You already claimed h—him?” Laura asked, and Thomas could see more pain in her eyes.
He cringed at the idea that he was hurting everyone he loved. “I thought he was seeing someone else, and my wolf took over. I bit him.”
Laura shook her head. “You never did think about things before doing them.”
Thomas felt lighter, yet worse. Telling his family the truth was the right thing to do, and he should have done it ages ago, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Now he had to find a way to make Carissa forgive him, and he had to deal with his mate. Somehow, Thomas didn’t think that would be as easy as telling his family had been.
* * * *
It had taken the better part of the day to empty Craig’s storage box and transfer everything into one of the trucks he’d managed to find, and Craig was exhausted. He didn’t even want to think about how long it was going to take him to take everything down and inside his new house, but at least he wasn’t working alone.
Kameron had sent him several of the kids who were going to be in his training group, and he was using the work and the time they were spending together to appraise their personalities. They were a mixed bunch, but they seemed okay so far.
“Grab the other side, Tami!” Scott, one of the oldest guys in the group, yelled.
She huffed and answered, “Why don’t you ask David?”
“What, afraid to break a nail?”
Craig listened to Tami and Scott as they bickered. It seemed they were doing a lot of that, and Craig was ready to bet there was something brewing between them. “People, come on. We’re nearly done here, and I’d like to be able to sleep in my bed tonight.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want to sleep in Renaldo’s bed,” Merle said with a scowl. Craig knew what had happened to the kid, and he didn’t blame him for snapping and scowling most of the time.
“Kameron told me I could do whatever I wanted with the stuff in the house. You want to help me hack it in pieces?”
Merle’s eyes widened. “Why would you do that?”
Craig shrugged. “Apart from a few pieces of furniture most of the things are heading right to a dumpster. You might find that destroying Renaldo’s things will help you with the anger. It won’t be as good as hitting the man himself, but it’s better than keeping it in.”
Merle didn’t look convinced that Craig would really let him do it, but he nodded anyway before grabbing one of the boxes still in the storage unit and hauling it toward the car. Tami and Scott were still bickering, so Craig grabbed one side of the dresser and called David over.
“Come on, take that side and let’s go.” Craig had noticed that David was kind of a loner in the group and he was trying to lure him out, to make him interact with the other kids and himself.
They made another few trips between the cars and the storage unit, and once everything was loaded and the storage was paid for, they headed back home. Home. Craig almost couldn’t believe he finally had a home after years spent moving from lab to lab and working for the Glass Research Company. Of course, he’d been the one to ask to work in Wyoming, which was as close as home as he could be—although the place Craig had grown up wasn’t home anymore. Hadn’t been for years.
The ride to pack territory was short, but night was already falling when Craig parked in front of what was his new home. He got out, deciding he would send the kids away. “All right, thanks to everyone for coming, and I’ll see you tomorrow for our first training session.”
“Do you need help unloading?” Merle asked.
“Nope. I’ll take care of that tomorrow, don’t worry. Sleeping on the couch for one night won’t kill me.”
Scott snickered. “So that’s what it’s called now? Sleeping?”
Craig frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“He’s alluding to the fact that your mate is waiting for you on the porch,” Merle clarified, and Craig’s head whipped toward the house. He hadn’t noticed before, but it was true. Thomas was sitting in one of the chairs at the far end of the porch, looking at them.
“How is it that you lot already know about me being Thomas’s mate?”
“I think the whole pack knows by now. Thomas, um, claimed you in front of one of the pack’s gossipers.”
Craig groaned. The last thing he wanted tonight was to fight with Thomas, and the news that everyone knew about the claiming wasn’t helping to keep him calm. “You can go now. I’ll see everyone tomorrow.”
Craig waited until everyone had walked away before climbing the steps to the house. He could feel Thomas’s gaze on him, and his blood seemed to rush faster in his veins. Now that he knew exactly what was between them, he understood the way he’d reacted to Thomas better, even if he wasn’t sure he liked it. “I hope you didn’t come here to fight, because I don’t think I have the energy at the moment.”
“I should have gone with you to get your things.”
“Yeah, Kameron told me, but it’s okay. I had help anyway.”
“I saw that. It’s the second time I didn’t obey my alpha’s orders, though.”
Craig’s first impulse was to be snarky. Thomas brought that side of him out like no one else, but he knew that if he ever wanted to have a normal relationship with the man, he had to curb down his impulse to be aggressive. If he lashed out, it would cause Thomas to do the same and they would never solve anything that way. “You can still help with the unloading and the unpacking. There’s plenty to do.”
“And you want me to help?”
Craig shrugged. “Sure. It’ll be a way to get to know each other—at least if we manage to have a normal conversation. Not sure we will, though.”
Thomas chuckled and the sound went straight to Craig’s groin. His cock twitched and his jeans suddenly became tighter, surprising him. He wasn’t eighteen anymore, and it usually took more than a chuckle to make him react.
“You’re willing to give me a chance?”
Craig hesitated. This wasn’t a conversation to have sitting outside in the dark, so he unlocked and opened the door before searching for the light switch he knew was to his right. Cursing because he couldn’t find it, Craig reached for the phone in his pocket so that he would have a least a bit of light, but Thomas was suddenly there, leaning into him, his hand brushing Craig’s as he felt around for the switch.
Thomas’s face was so close Craig could see his smile even in the dark. Their warmth mingled and made him want things he wasn’t sure he could handle at the moment. So he was relieved when Thomas made a small victorious sound and the light came on, flooding the porch through the open door. Craig hurried through the door, but not before Thomas could place a kiss on his cheek. The gesture was so tender and at odds with the man that it startled Craig, and he tried to hide it. “What was that for?”
Thomas shrugged and looked at the floor. “Just felt like it.”
Craig chuckled. “How is it that I feel about as old as the kids I have to teach when I’m with you?”
“No idea.”
“Yeah, well, I hope it won’t always be like that, because I don’t think I could take a lifetime of acting like a teenager.”
Thomas’s gaze went to Craig’s face. “A lifetime?”
Craig sighed. “Come on,
get inside. We have to talk, and I don’t want to do it on the porch.”
“Do you want to bring some stuff inside before we do? I heard you say you’ll sleep on the couch, but we can bring your bed and mattress in. You’ll be more comfortable.”
Craig was oddly touched by Thomas’s proposal, and it made him feel silly. Silly, but also warm inside. “Okay, sure. If you don’t have anywhere else to be tonight, I guess I’ll be grateful for your help.”
“The only place waiting for me is one of the guest beds over at Kameron’s house, and as much as I don’t mind them, the house is still too crowded for my taste.”
Craig remembered Zach telling him Thomas and his wife were divorcing, and he added that to the ever-growing list of things they had to talk about.
It was going to be a long night.
* * * *
It didn’t take long to get Craig’s bed inside the house and into the bedroom, but once the thing was put together and the mattress was on it, Thomas couldn’t keep his eyes away from it. Would it be the bed in which Craig and Thomas would make love for the first time? Would it be the bed in which Thomas would sleep with his mate for the rest of their lives?
Thomas knew he was a bit on the dramatic side at the moment, but his life had been so crazy lately that he felt his feelings were out of control. He wanted nothing more than to crawl on the bed and snuggle with his mate. He didn’t even care about the talk they had to have or if he went past first base. He just needed an anchor until the crazy went away.
“I found the sheets.”
Thomas turned, and sure enough, Craig had a pair of sheets in his hands. They worked together to make the bed, and Thomas’s need to slump on it intensified, but he gritted his teeth and made it back to the living room.
The house wasn’t so bad, but it obviously needed to be made cozier. Thomas couldn’t help his mind rushing to the changes he would make if he ever lived there, and he had reached how he would change the fireplace stone when Craig entered the room, two beers in hand.
Craig [Gilham Pack: 3] Page 9
