“Ariet, your metabolite levels from this morning’s testing are showing signs of stress. Please, tell me what’s bothering you. You need to calm down. Process things,” Mason expressed his concern.
“I’m trying. It’s just next week. I’m nervous. I don’t know how to do this with someone I don’t love.”
“I feel the same way, but we are going to have to try.”
That afternoon, an automated message arrived on our plasma screen: Evelyn wanted to have dinner with us at her dwelling. I froze, “What’s this about Mason?”
“I’m not sure,” concern wrinkled his brow.
“I’m not going. The less I have to deal with her the better,” I said firmly.
“We don’t have a choice, Ariet. This was not an invitation of the usual sort, it’s a summons. We will be leaving here in half an hour. You need to freshen up, and put on one of the more formal outfits previously selected for you in the wardrobe.” His mood had shifted.
“Aah,” I whispered. “I was wondering what those were for.”
“Please be prompt. You have thirty minutes; that is all.” Turning abruptly, he marched off to his room and slammed the door. I had never seen him like this. Panic started to rise in my gut.
Nervously, I opened my cupboard examining all the fine silk garments in soft pale colors hanging neatly before me. I had never seen anything more beautiful. We only had cotton and nylon in the Quadrants and wool during winter. This was exquisite. I selected a pale blue knee length dress with nude stockings and nude boots. I looked slightly awkward, but Ok I guessed. I had never really applied make-up before, only having seen my mother do it once, so I opted on some rouge for my cheeks, and that was it. I grabbed the only coat I felt comfortable in, and had practically lived in since I arrived here, I pulled it on. Twenty-seven minutes, three to spare, I muttered triumphantly. That should shut him up, I thought spitefully. I walked into the lounge to find him pacing up and down by the front door.
“Ready?” he asked. Looking me once over, he said nothing about the change in my appearance.
We arrived at a platform similar to ours, except this one had a door with only one number on it. He scanned and raised my arm, so I could scan whilst he still clutched my hand. ‘Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Black.’ The doors parted to reveal a short path to a square white door. As we approached the door, it opened as if on cue.
“Mason. How nice to see you,” Evelyn enveloped him in a stiff, non-affectionate hug, all the while eyeing me over his shoulder. “Ariet,” she greeted tersely. “Come.” The first floor was a huge open-planned living area with seating to one side and a kitchen to another. A winding staircase lead extravagantly downwards. Everything was white and sparkling, as if brand new. It felt cold and hard.
Lacking any warmth, like her, I supposed to myself.
“Dinner is ready,” she said. “Please sit.” A huge banqueting table laid out before us, taking up half of the open-floored space. I sat tentatively next to Mason, daring to breathe even. Evelyn dished out a rich, hearty stew, filled with an assortment of meats, carrots, potatoes and leeks. Fresh rolls were piled up in front of us. We ate in strained silence. I kept my eyes on my plate, trying to keep the food down; although delicious, I had no appetite.
“So, Grandmother, to what do we owe this pleasure?” Mason was the first to speak.
“I wanted to see you before the initiation of the Breeding project. Making sure you were on track. To remind you of what is required.” She looked directly at me as she said that.
“We know, Grandmother. It has been made very clear. We are aware of the consequences.”
Ignoring Mason, she turned to me. “Ariet, I hear you have been asking questions at the medical centre? Yes?”
Never taking my eyes off the stew, I answered politely. “Yes, I am curious about my new surroundings and am trying to understand my situation.”
“Well, make sure that is all it is. Do you understand?” She said the last bit very slowly, in icy, clipped tones.
"Yes," I answered quietly.
“Good. Well, eat up, you’ll need your energy for this week. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Winking at Mason, she got up and left the table. “Good Night.” She descended the stairs, never to surface for the rest of the evening.
“Mason?” I asked.
He abruptly interrupted me, putting a single finger to his lips, shaking his head. “Finish your supper then we will turn in. It’s getting late.” Quietly, side by side, we ate in silence. He still gripped my hand under the table, the circulation felt like it was now starting to get affected, but I refused to let go.
He waited patiently for me to finish eating. “Ready?” he asked gently. Nodding in silence, he pulled me up from the table and led me towards the door. Once on the train, he let go of my hand and let out a loud whoosh of air.
“What was that, Mason? Why did she call us there?”
“That was a warning, Ariet. And if you knew my Grandmother, it was a very serious warning.”
We said goodnight at our front door, both too emotionally exhausted to talk further. Flinging my coat on the padded chair in my room, I heard something tinkle. Scratching in the pockets I found the small parcel Jules had given me a few nights earlier. I had completely forgotten about it. Opening it slowly, I found a small vial labeled ‘Haze’ with a note wrapped around it. The note read, ‘Ariet, place a few drops of this in your tea before the act of coitus. This will help you. It is untraceable. Jules.’ Opening the cork stopper, I smelled the liquid. It was harsh and acrid smelling. It was clearly only meant for me to know about or use even. Did I trust her enough to try it? I fell asleep clutching it in my hands, wondering if I should tell Mason.
I awoke, feeling an empty pit in my stomach. Today would be the start of the Breeding program. Conception was to begin at a date specified by the Healer during my medical. With any luck, I thought, that date would be in a few weeks. Mason and I made small talk over a breakfast of hot rolls, sweet jam and tea. We made our way to the Medical Centre, the train ride becoming routine now.
Paige greeted me at the waiting area, her friendly face cheering me up slightly. “Hi, Ariet. You ready?” I nodded. Despite her small frame, she gave me a strong pat on the back and gently led me to the examination room. A different Healer to the one before, gave me a white gown and asked me to lie on the table. After endless prodding and poking of my intimate parts, he pushed his chair backwards and stood up.
“Thank you for your patience, Ariet, you can get dressed now. Paige will take the routine bloods from you. I’ll see you next door in a few minutes with Mason.”
Once dressed, Paige came in and proceeded with the routine blood workup. Gingerly sticking the needle in my arm, she asked, “So, how are you really feeling, Ariet? Frightened, nervous?”
“Yes to both,” I agreed.
“Don’t worry, I know this is hard, unreal even, but please know I am here as your personal Carer. To assist you in any way possible.” I couldn’t help but smile. She made me feel warm inside.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Mason stood before a large white desk, the Healer seated in front of him, scrolling through my results on a plasma screen to his right. “Ah, here you are, Ariet. Please sit.” He gestured to the chair next to Mason. “Your examination went well, all looks in order for you to commence with the breeding program. Good news,” he beamed. “Your ovulation cycle started yesterday, so you may begin with conception tonight.”
I felt the color drain from my cheeks, wishing I could morph into nothingness. Mason shifted in his chair awkwardly. “You have one week to procreate then you may take a break for two weeks. We will talk again next week and see how it has been going. Good luck.” With that he exited the room.
Mason, having said nothing the entire time, leant forward on his knees, rubbing his temples with his forefingers. He looked as stressed as I felt. Sad even. “Should we go home, Ariet?” I nodded as tears welled in my eyes and began to stream down my face
.
I spent the rest of the day curled up in a fetal position on my bed. Mason brought lunch to my room, a warm broth he had made. When the dark had taken away the light, he knocked gently at the door. “Ariet, it’s time to scan.” I walked robotically to the scanner and noticed he had spread a lavish meal on the table. I paused to look at it. Fresh flowers scented the room. “Trying to cheer you up a bit,” he said quietly. I smiled softly at his attempt.
Mason tried to get through dinner, chatting about stories from his youth in the Children’s Centre with Thor; getting up to mischief with Thor’s strength and his photographic memory. They had caused all sorts of trouble. But fun trouble, he explained. I just couldn’t let go of what was coming. We had to do this every night for two weeks. As I started to panic again, realizing it was only a few minutes away, I remembered the vial Jules had given me. Without thinking, I got up from the table, asking Mason if he could make me some tea and bring it to my room while I got ready. I scampered down the passageway.
Mason arrived a few minutes later, tea in hand. Placing it on the table next to the bed, he looked at his feet awkwardly. “So, where do you want to do this?” I look at him strangely. “My room or your room?” he explained.
“Your room!” I almost shouted.
“Okay. I’ll wait for you in there?”
Nodding, “Please close the door behind you.” I hurriedly fished the vial out from under my mattress. Placing exactly four drops in my tea as Jules had directed, I returned it back to its hiding place. Gulping down my tea, I nervously paced the room, waiting to feel something different. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. I couldn’t wait any longer without drawing attention from Mason. I cursed inwardly, feeling alone all again.
Let’s just get this over and done with, I commanded myself. I tiptoed down to Mason’s room, hoping he would be asleep and we could skip tonight. As fate would have it, he was pacing his room as well. He turned as I entered the room and walked towards me, slowly placing his arms on my shoulders. Looking deeply into my eyes, he whispered, “Are you ready? Please know this is difficult for me, too.”
With that he leant down and kissed me. Gently, probing my mouth open, stroking my arms. As the kiss deepened, I noticed my body responding involuntarily, leaning in to kiss him back. Without saying anything he walked us towards the bed and sat down, removing his shirt, waiting for me to join him. Sitting down tentatively, I slowly removed my suit, following his lead. As we lay down looking at each other, barely touching, I suddenly felt at peace. As if I had accepted my fate. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to drift off to another place, always aware of his body touching mine, responding, despite my lack of emotion for this man. When it was over, I drifted off to sleep, blissfully unaware of Mason lying next to me, watching me angrily.
I woke up feeling refreshed. It was the best I had felt since I had arrived at Centre Town. Stretching my limbs, I opened my eyes. Wait a second. This isn’t my room. Where am I? I jumped up and ran to the doorway, fearing that I had been taken again. Yanking the door open, I collided with Mason.
“You’re up.” Ok, this was Mason’s room. My panic subsided. “Your morning meal is almost ready. Don’t forget to scan after you have washed up.”
I padded back to my room, the sheet still wrapped protectively around me. My memory was muddy. I remembered the tea, walking towards Mason’s room, then nothing until this morning. Oh my goodness, the drops. They worked. I made a mental note to talk to Jules about this at our next visit. Freshly dressed, I went to scan.
Mason was sitting patiently at the table waiting for me. “Good morning,” I said softly, aware of the awkwardness that hung between us. Or was it tension. His posture indicated the latter.
“Tea?” he asked sternly.
“Yes, please.” I added honey to it, something which I had grown to love since being in Centre Town.
“Is that it?” he asked as I sipped it gently. “Aren’t you going to lace it?”
“Excuse me?” I choked.
Mason pushed back angrily from the table. “I know what you did, Ariet. What did you take? Where did you get it from?” The rage flashing across his eyes frightened me. How did he know?
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
Jumping up suddenly, knocking his chair over, he banged his fists on the table. “I will only ask you one more time, Ariet. Where did you get it?”
“Jules,” my voice shaky.
“Show me,” he commanded. I sat gravely still. I had never seen him this enraged before. He grabbed my wrist, yanking me towards my room. “Show me, Ariet,” he yelled. I removed the vial slowly from its hiding place, my eyes never leaving his. He watched me intensely. “Give it to me,” he demanded angrily.
“No!” I responded firmly, surprising myself with that answer.
“Give it to me or I will take it from you and report you to the Elders and Evelyn,”
I hastily removed it from his hiding place and flung it on the bed, collapsing to the floor in despair. Racing over to pick it up he turned it around and around in his hands. “Dammit, Ariet. I could kill Jules.”
“Don’t, please. Don’t report her. She was trying to help me. I wasn’t even sure what it would do.”
“It makes you compliant, Ariet, and then removes it from your memory as if it never happened.”
“Jules said it was untraceable.”
“It is, but that is not the point. What if someone finds this? Do you really need this to be with me?” hurt showed in his voice.
“No,” I stumbled. Fresh tears came to the surface. “I’m sorry, Mason. I just didn’t know what to do, how to do it.”
“Ariet, you can’t use this. What if you become pregnant? We don’t know its effects on the fetus if you continue to use it before you get tested for the presence of an offspring.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” I stuttered through tears.
“I’m sorry you felt you had the need to use this. I should have known, I should have known when you were…”
“What, when I was what?” I asked.
“When you were responsive. Tender even,” his voice hardened. “I’m going out. You stay here. Do not leave the dwelling, do you understand?” Without waiting for my response, Mason turned to leave the room, but not before I caught the look of sadness and disappointment in his eyes.
It was late when he returned home. He was sweaty and tired looking. I worried frantically that he would not be home in time to scan before lights out. He stopped in the doorway, his shoulders stooping, as if the weight of this burden, of dealing with me, was too much to bear. We stared at each other for a few minutes, the silence deafening.
“I’m sorry, Mason.”
“You put us both in danger, Ariet. This is not just about you anymore, but it is about me as well. Both our lives depend on this, and I need you to make it clear to me that you understand this.”
“I do. I’m sorry. I made supper, please join me.” I gestured to the table where a chicken and fragrant rice dish, one of my favorites from home, awaited us. “It's cold,” I smiled apologetically.
He shrugged, wolfing his food down within a few mouthfuls. “I’m going to wash.” He stalked away from the table towards his room. Clearing the table, I chastised myself. I never realized how difficult this was for him as well for me. I could hear the shower running. Awkwardly, I made my way into his room, opening the lavatory door softly. Dropping my clothes into a pile at my feet, I opened the shower door and stepped in. His face registered surprise and distrust simultaneously. “What are you doing?” he asked.
“Trying,” I whispered, looking anywhere but at his naked form.
“Thank you,” he whispered back.
Chapter 10
After that night, I made an attempt to trust Mason more. We spent the days exploring the Medical Centre, meeting more of the Carers, and trying to actively show our unity. Night times were a little more strained as we hadn’t gotten used to copulation, but I performed it withou
t resistance and without any added help.
I had been in the Breeding Program for six weeks now. That was six weeks away from my family, the fact never escaping my mind. Mason and I were on more friendly terms, but I didn’t love him and I suspected he didn’t love me. He remained a stranger to me, and I still felt like a science experiment. Which, in truth, was exactly what both of us were. We had no more unexpected invitations to see Evelyn, which relaxed me a little. But, at the back of my mind, it worried me she had left us alone. Mason had seemed to withdraw from me after his discovery of the vial. He was courteous but never as gentle and warm as I had seen him demonstrate before. Sitting at lunch together, the silence between us was drawing me more and more closely to the edge of despair.
“Should we have Thor and Jules over? It might be nice for a change?” I suggested.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Not before your next medical.”
Rolling my eyes, “I won’t do that again, Mason. Plus, you have taken it away from me, so I can’t get my hands on it anyway.”
“So you would use Haze if you had it then, Ariet?”
“No, that’s not what I meant!” I cried in exasperation.
“Have your weekly medical, and then we can discuss this again.”
The days dragged on until my scheduled medical. Mason bought me a book from the Bookkeeper as I had expressed my love of reading. I had only read a few pages of one book my mother had from the Old World, most of the pages having been torn out. But here in the Great Tower they had gone to great lengths to scour the Four Quadrants for books remaining after the Great Illness, storing them in a huge vault underground. At least that’s the brief explanation Mason gave me. The books managed to make the next few days on my own bearable. Even though Mason was there, he wasn’t really there. And I had given up trying to make him forgive me. After all, it was his family’s fault I was even here in the first place.
Breeders (Breeders #1) Page 6
