by Laura DeLuca
“If it does, I could go to prison for a very long time.”
Rebecca jumped at the unexpected sound of Justyn’s voice. She hadn’t heard him come in, and she wondered how long he’d been standing there. At first she felt a little frantic, thinking he might have overheard her talking to Sherry about the baby. However, the look of total desolation on his face made it clear there was only one thing on his mind. Hating to see him look so lost, Rebecca ran over and threw her arms around him.
“Don’t talk like that,” she ordered. “I’m sure that isn’t going to happen. Right, Darlene?”
Rebecca turned toward Justyn’s mother, hoping for some backup. Though she tried to sound encouraging, Darlene’s smile was lacking its normal luster. “Of course that won’t happen,” she promised. “Remember like attracts like. If you keep your thoughts positive, you’ll attract positive results.”
Justyn was annoyed by Darlene’s optimism, and he barely returned Rebecca’s embrace. However, Sherry was certainly on board with the law of attraction and wasn’t above giving it a little push in the right direction. As Justyn dropped his bag on the floor, his grandmother pulled a small satchel from the bosom of her dress. She didn’t see any pockets anywhere, so Rebecca was fairly certain it had been stored inside her bra. Sherry was at least a size double D, so there was certainly room for it in there.
“Look, I made you a little good luck charm.” She inhaled deeply from the green velvet bag and moaned with a pleasure that was almost orgasmic before handing it to Justyn. “It’s loaded up with sage, basil, and cloves, to name only a few. Some are fresh from Darlene’s garden. Just smell those herbs! Isn’t that scent intoxicating? Keep this with you and everything will work out fine.”
Justyn raised an eyebrow as he studied the packet. “Thanks, Sherry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be carrying around a bag of questionable herbs right after I was arrested for possession.”
Sherry snorted. “Let that awful Officer Weston try to confiscate this. I’ll bring a curse down on his head that will make every male in his family impotent. Even his sixth cousin twice removed will never get it up again when I’m—”
“Okay, everyone,” Darlene interrupted. She was trying a little too hard to sound chipper. “Enough of this talk. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m famished. Why don’t I make us all an early dinner? Hmmm?”
Rebecca could tell Justyn was only humoring his mother. He wasn’t interested in eating any more than she was. What did catch his attention was the suitcase Rebecca had left in the corner of the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow and gestured in its direction.
“Are you moving in?”
Rebecca shrugged. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
He still acted suspicious. “I thought you wanted to spend your last summer vacation with your parents?”
“Right now, you need me more than they do,” Rebecca observed. “Besides, my father is being a…” she paused before she said anything too derogatory, “well, you know. He’s being his usual pleasant self.”
Justyn nodded his understanding, but he was silent afterward. He fiddled with the buckles on his pants instead of making eye contact. Sherry and Darlene whispered strategies as they whipped up some rutabaga fries and avocados with salsa, sliced tomatoes, and olives. Darlene had discovered a new natural Paleo diet that mimicked the regimen of cavemen ancestors. Meat was a big part of the menu, but since Justyn was a strict vegetarian, Darlene found interesting ways to compromise. The smell of avocados and olives wafted across the room, and suddenly Rebecca began to feel increasingly queasy. The half a bowl of cereal she had managed to ingest was fighting its way back for an encore.
“Are you feeling all right, Becca darling?” Darlene asked. She dropped a plate of food in front of her, and the awful smell intensified. “You’re looking a little pale all of a sudden.”
That got Justyn’s attention, and he finally glanced up from his accessories. He studied her through narrowed eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was make him worry about her when he already had so much on his mind, so she forced a smile.
“I’m-I’m…”
Rebecca wanted to say she was fine, but she couldn’t quite manage it. Darlene plopped a blob of salsa on her plate, and it was more than she could tolerate. She jumped up from the table with her hand over her mouth and only barely made it to the powder room in the hallway before emptying her stomach in one convulsive spasm. She didn’t even have time to shut the bathroom door, which made it easy for Justyn to follow her. Even while she hung her head over the porcelain and heaved, he made gentle circling motions with his hand along her back. Normally she would have been humiliated to let him see her in that condition, but for the moment she felt too sick to care. It was soothing to have him beside her, dabbing her sweaty brow with a cool cloth.
“Can you stand up?” he whispered once she stopped gagging.
Rebecca nodded, but he still wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her. He silently guided her up the steps to his bedroom and lifted her onto the bed. She was completely wiped out, and she must have fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Even though it felt like only a few minutes had passed, when she opened her eyes again, the sun had already set, and the ruby-red eyes of Justyn’s gargoyle collection stared at her from all corners of the room.
Justyn himself sat in his swivel chair with his long legs propped up against the desk. He was still dressed in the same clothes he’d been wearing when he was arrested. It appeared he’d fallen asleep as well. His neck was bent at an odd angle, and he must have been very uncomfortable. Rebecca felt terrible seeing him suffer when he had already spent the last night on a lumpy cot in a jail cell. She knew sleeping in that position couldn’t be good for his damaged shoulder. Once Rebecca was certain she wasn’t going to pass out or throw up again, she forced herself to stand. She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes instantly snapped open.
“Becca?” he mumbled and wiped sleep from eyes.
“Justyn, I … I’m so sorry about what happened. The last thing you need right now is to be worrying about me.”
“You’re sorry?” He was suddenly wide awake. Even in the dark, she saw his face twist in a combination of anger and desperation. “What are you apologizing for, Becca? I’m the one who should be begging for forgiveness! Look at what I’m doing to you! You’re fighting with your father because of me, and you’re so upset it’s making you sick.”
Rebecca shook her head. “Justyn, no. It’s not like that. Let me explain.”
“Explain what? How I’m ruining your life right along with mine? I know you’re trying to be strong and stand by me, but this isn’t fair to you, Becca. I could go to jail for years.”
“That isn’t going to happen. And even if for some crazy reason it did, I’d fight for you the whole time, and I’d be waiting here when you got out.”
“No. I’m not going to ask you to wait for me,” Justyn declared. “I wouldn’t even be the same person when I got back anyway. I won’t let you waste the best years of your life. You’d be so much better off without me.”
Rebecca felt her chest tighten, and she instinctively clasped her ammonite necklace. “You don’t mean that.”
Justyn put his head in his hands. “Becca, I love you too much to do this to you. Go home and apologize to your father. Go back to school in the fall and finish what we started together. Forget about me. What difference does it make if it’s today or a month from now at the hearing? Eventually, we’ll have to say goodbye. We should get it over with.”
The thought of going back to the performing art school without Justyn was unbearable and unacceptable. It was probably the only request Rebecca had ever denied her fiancé, but she certainly wasn’t going to do what Justyn was asking. Instead, she knelt down beside him and laid her head in his lap. He stroked her hair with such sweet gentleness she knew he was only trying to sacrifice himself the way he always did. The same way he had when the co
ps stopped them and found the drugs in the car. He didn’t really want her to leave, and she wasn’t going to let him play the hero.
“Do you remember when I tried to break up with you after I was attacked freshman year?” She ran her hand along his knee as she spoke. “You knew it wasn’t what I wanted or needed, and you wouldn’t let me do it. Even when I was afraid to let you touch me, you stuck by me and never lost patience. You didn’t walk away from me then. I’m not going to walk away from you now.”
He shook his head. “That was different.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Rebecca argued. “I tried to run away because I was scared. Now you’re the one who’s scared, and that’s okay.” She squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to be superman all the time. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid. This isn’t an easy situation, but we can get through it. Together.”
When he still refused to give up his sullenness, Rebecca sighed. She let go of his hand, stood, and proceeded to pace the carpet. Then she thought about one of the songs from Hyde. Emma’s words to Dr. Jekyll when he tried to talk her out of marrying him were more eloquent than any poetic lines Rebecca could come up with. Despite the fact her voice was still a little scratchy from sleep, she managed to sing what was in her heart by borrowing the lyrics she had become so familiar with.
“You know you are the one I adore.
I can’t go back to what life was before.
The path we walk has long been intertwined.
The dreams you sought have merged with mine.
No matter what trials lay ahead,
I shall follow you whatever way I’m led.
We’ve come too far to start anew.
My love, I am forever bound to you.”
Once the room grew quiet, Justyn lifted his gaze and gave her the smallest of smiles. “You always were my angel of music,” he whispered. “But wouldn’t I be as selfish as Erik from Phantom if I force my fate on you? You still have a chance to fulfill your dreams. I don’t want to hold you back.”
Rebecca snorted. “You could never hold me back. You’re the only reason this mousy little wall flower had the courage to become a diva. We both know the only way I’m going to make it to Broadway is by riding on your rather eccentric coattails.”
That actually got a laugh out of him, but he quickly turned serious again. “That’s not true. You always had natural talent. You don’t need me.”
As usual, Justyn was being stubborn. He probably enjoyed playing the role of a tormented artist in real life, the same way he did on stage. Rebecca was running out of ideas on what to say to break through to him when she realized perhaps Sherry was right. Maybe the baby was the answer to her dilemma. Maybe this was the right time for her to come clean about her secret. Once again, Rebecca crossed the room and took Justyn’s hands, even though he refused to budge from his seat.
“Even if that were true and I could make it on the stage on my own—even if I could cast aside my musical partner—even if I could turn my back on my first love or the man I promised to spend my life with, I could never walk away from the father of my child.”
Justyn froze. It might have been the first time in their long history together that she had truly shocked him. His face flushed red one second and drained of color the next. The pattern repeated a few times, and Rebecca was glad he was sitting down so she didn’t have to worry about him hitting the ground. Finally, after what seemed like endless seconds, his breath caught.
“So that’s why you got sick and why you got dizzy that one day?” Rebecca nodded, and Justyn practically moaned. “Gods, I’m such a self-involved idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t see the signs. Becca … I’m so—”
“Shhh,” Rebecca interrupted him by putting her fingers against his lips. “Stop insulting my baby daddy.”
Justyn actually smiled a little. He pulled her closer to him, lifted her shirt, and pressed his lips against her belly. When he glanced up at her again, there were tears shining in his eyes. “My baby is really in there?”
Rebecca was too choked up to speak, so she only nodded. Justyn lowered her top, guided her down into his lap, and kissed her full lips. “Then I guess it really is too late for you to walk away.”
Chapter Fifteen
“This whole thing has been a nightmare,” Rebecca confided to Carmen and Victoria as she slipped into her Victorian ball gown. Since they were running late, as usual, she and Carmen were the only two just beginning their preparations. Even Victoria was already pulling on her stockings, while Carmen and Rebecca barely had their makeup applied. “Darlene is spending her whole life savings on lawyers. She even took out a second mortgage on her house to cover the bail money. And my dad is being a total jerk. He won’t even consider giving Justyn the benefit of the doubt. My mother keeps calling me every day, begging me to come back and work things out with him, but I refuse to give in until he apologizes.”
“Don’t worry so much, Becca,” Carmen said gruffly. “I’m sure Lord Justyn will think of some way out of this. He always manages to come out on top.”
Rebecca sighed. “I don’t know. Justyn seems like he’s given up already. I feel so helpless. I know he would never mess around with drugs. I really think someone here at the theater is involved somehow, but I have no idea how to prove it. What do you think, Victoria?”
The pretty Latina’s eyes widened, as though she hadn’t expected Rebecca to include her in the conversation. “What do I think about what?”
“Well, you’ve known the people here at Tamilio’s longer than we have,” Rebecca told her. “Do you think any of them would try to frame Justyn?”
Victoria only shrugged and avoided Rebecca’s eyes as she laced up her boots. “I have no idea why anyone here would wanna do something like that. If I were you, I’d be careful making those kinds of accusations. It could really piss people off.”
With that, Victoria sauntered out the door without a word of goodbye, leaving Rebecca with her mouth hanging open. So much for the headway they had made. Victoria was acting as cold and aloof as she had before the engagement party. Apparently, she was only one of many actors in the play suffering from a Hyde complex.
“Don’t worry about her,” Carmen scoffed. “You’ve got enough of your own problems without taking on any charity cases. You should forget about her.”
Rebecca was starting to think Carmen was right. As much as she felt for Victoria’s plight, Justyn and her baby were her first priority now. It was something she knew with even more certainty when they headed to the lockers and found Justyn on the verge of another potential disaster. Without a word being spoken, they could sense the tension in the air. Most of the cast were already in full costume and waiting for the show to start backstage. But a few stragglers, including Steve and Petya, made a point of lingering behind just so they could point and snicker at Justyn.
“Tamilio’s very own drug lord.” Steve chuckled as he adjusted his eyeglass. “We should have guessed it. What else would you expect from a Gothic freak?”
Steve spoke in a low whisper, but made sure it was loud enough for them to hear. Rebecca saw Justyn’s face flush, but he didn’t acknowledge the gibe. Tom wasn’t feeling nearly as gracious and flipped the couple his middle finger. Rebecca also found the snide comments hard to ignore. She knew the crew was bound to find out about the arrest eventually. It was listed in all the local papers, so it was only a matter of time before someone noticed it. But even though she had anticipated taunts from people like Steve and Petya, the actual experience wasn’t any less frustrating. Of course, it was even worse to see the disappointment on Fernando’s face as he stepped out of his private office.
“Fernando,” Justyn started when he saw his boss, “you have to let me explain.”
Fernando barely lifted his eyes. “Your personal life is your own business, Justyn. My only concern is that you show up to work on time and do your job to the best of your ability.”
“I’d still like to speak with you,” Justyn told him. “I k
now there are a lot of rumors circulating about me—”
“Rumors?” Petya raised a blond eyebrow, and her smug smile was fitting against her aristocratic attire. She smoothed the ruffles on her navy blue gown and adjusted her gray wig. “I suppose the Cape May Herald is no more than a trashy tabloid?”
Justyn pushed on despite her nasty comments. “It’s important to me that you know the whole story. Not only because I need this job, but because you’re more than an employer. I respect you and I don’t want you to think badly of me.”
Fernando nodded, and his voice softened considerably. “I was friends with your father,” he told them for the hundredth time. “For that reason, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Come with me.”
Fernando and Justyn disappeared into the business owner’s office, leaving Rebecca and her small troupe of friends alone with a horde of gawking spectators. She made a grand show of ignoring them, but her hands trembled as she worked the combination on her locker. She was grateful to see the remaining cast had scattered by the time she deposited her belongings and turned around. She was alone with the exception of Carmen and Tom. There was no jeering from them, but somehow their sympathy was more unbearable than Steve and Petya’s heckling. It was even worse when Robert turned the corner and studied her with a worried frown.
“How are you holding up, my dear?”
“I’m fine, Robert,” she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “How are you?”
“I’m well.” He cocked his head to one side and studied her. “But I admit I’m a little concerned about you, Rebecca. I know it’s not my place, but I’ve grown quite fond of you, and well … I do hope you know what you’re doing with this boy you’re entangled with.”
