“No.”
“I see.”
“Do you?”
He got to his feet, suddenly angry. “Do what you need to do. You don’t need to ask my permission.”
“I wasn’t. I thought we could discuss it.”
“Why? What’s the point? It sounds like a good gig.”
“It would be,” she said stiffly. “How do you feel about the idea?”
“I don’t see why it should matter how I feel about it. We hardly know each other.”
The words, their tone, were overly harsh. He saw her wince and wished he could soften them. But not take them back. Because they were true.
“All right, you want to know how I feel? I’m pissed off. You show up after thirty years, hang around a few months, then take off again. That’s what I see.”
“I’m not abandoning you.”
“Sure as hell feels like it.”
She tipped her hands, palms up. “There’s nothing for me here.”
“I got it. Go, take the job.”
“That’s not what I—” She pressed her lips together. “There’s this distance between us—”
He cut her off. “You think?”
“Son—”
“Calling me that sounds like a lie.”
“Is that why you don’t call me mom?”
“I don’t call you mom because you haven’t earned it.” She blanched, but he didn’t back down. “I have a mother. She was there for me every day. When I was sick or skinned my knee. She was there at every game and every parent-teacher meeting. She held me accountable when I screwed up, which I did a lot. And through it all, she loved me.”
“I loved you, too. Every minute of that time.”
“Then where were you? Why did you give me away?”
“I told you, for your own safety. The High Council—”
“You know what? That all sounds like bullshit to me.”
“I’m sorry about that, Zach. I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’d do it again to save you. Maybe one day you’ll see that.” She stood and started for the door.
Zach watched her go, the knot in his chest crippling. He felt like the hurt five-year-old kid whose best friend had just informed him, in the brutal way of childhood, of what “adopted” meant.
Your real mother didn’t want you.
He felt like the determined eight-year-old who had wondered what he’d done wrong, and worked at being the best at everything, so when she came back, she would want him. And he felt like the angry teenager who wondered why he was so different and if she was, too.
And, Zach realized, he sounded like those boys just now. Young and petulant.
But he was no longer a boy, he was a man. He needed to act like one. “Arianna, wait.”
She stopped, looked back, expression hopeful.
“Stay.” He forced the word out; he didn’t like the way it made him feel, exposed and vulnerable. “Please stay.”
As the words passed his lips, the knot in his chest eased. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I had no right to talk to you that way.”
Her blue eyes, so like his, brimmed with tears. “Actually, you had every right.”
He held out a hand. “Come on, let’s talk. I feel like I don’t know you at all.”
They sat on the couch, each on an end, facing one another.
“What do you want to know?” she asked. “I’ll tell you anything.”
“I want to know the truth.”
“About your dad?”
“Not about him, not now, anyway. About you. What happened to you that you could leave your newborn son with strangers.”
She looked as if he’d struck her, but she nodded, head held high. “I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Someone who was off limits. The law forbidding Lightkeeper and human relationships had just been instituted and the council had spies everywhere.”
“How old were you?”
“Almost twenty-five. He was older. I’d actually known him for a while, but one day, everything changed between us.” Her expression grew faraway. “We had so much in common. Likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. We both wanted to change the world, me through social work, he through the law.
“I had to hide it from everyone. But Parker was the hardest. We were so close.” Her voice became thick. “I broke his heart.”
“You told him you were pregnant.”
“Yes. We had a terrible fight. He was scared for me. Disappointed. Angry and hurt.”
“And he disowned you.”
“He had to. If the High Council found out, I would be punished, excommunicated. Most probably imprisoned. If he’d sheltered me, the same would be done to him.” She paused, took a breath. “That you would be taken away from me was a given, and I wasn’t about to let that happen.”
Zach curved his hands into tight fists. “I’ll never understand that.”
“As far as the High Council was concerned, I’d not only broken the law, I’d betrayed my race.”
He frowned. “Betrayed your race? You were in love. Love’s never wrong.”
“No, Zach.” She looked him dead in the eyes. “I went in with my eyes wide open. I knew what being with your father would cost me.”
“And what did it cost you?”
“I was no longer fully Lightkeeper.”
“I don’t understand.”
“My love affair with your father cost me some of my light force. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.”
“That’s . . . nuts. Love can’t be a sin.” His voice came out thick. “I refuse to believe that.”
“Lightkeepers were sent to earth to stand with and work alongside humans, not to mate with them. Not to create a new race.”
“And then, after all you sacrificed for him, he left you.”
“No, I left him.” She covered one of his clenched hands with her own. “Think about it. I’d not only put myself in danger, but my friends and family as well. My unborn child. I had to leave everyone behind.”
She squeezed his hand, then released it. “I had a friend from Tulane who lived on the west coast. She offered me a place to live. I left without telling anyone where I was going.”
Zach digested the information, struggling to come to terms with it. “You say you weren’t about to let me be taken away from you. But then you just . . . gave me away.
Her eyes flooded with tears, the moisture turning them a brilliant sapphire. “Just? No, that word does not apply. Someone I trusted betrayed me. I thought she was my friend, but she was aligned with the dark. You weren’t safe with me any longer. It broke my heart.”
He’d always thought his bio mother had taken the easy way out. But it hadn’t been easy; she’d sacrificed everything for him.
“I’m so sorry, Mom.” The endearment slipped from his tongue. “That I said those things. That I’ve been so distant.”
“You had the right to feel that way.” She pressed her lips together a moment, then continued, “I hope you can forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” He stood, crossed to her, drew her up and hugged her.
She clung to him a moment, before easing her grip. She looked up at him. “Do you want to know his name?”
His biological father. Another connection he had longed for, one always out of his reach. Funny thing was, tonight he didn’t.
Zach kissed her forehead. “Someday, Mom. But for now, this is good.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Tuesday, February 13
6:55 A.M.
Micki sat on a side-street, across from Lost Angels Ministry, a Venti coffee clutched in her hands. She’d come here the evening before in the hopes she would find the professor or Eli. Neither had answered her numerous calls or texts, and she’d gone from anxious to downright panicked.
But the center, except for safety lights, had been dark. No one had answered the bell.
Which in itself caused unease. Professor Truebell had created LAM to offer help for wayward Half Lights, t
he products of Lightkeeper and human matings. He insisted the center be available to youth in need twenty-four-seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year.
Something was wrong. The professor was as dependable as the sun rising and setting.
So she’d spent the night in the Nova, parked here in front of the building. Watching and waiting. Sifting through scenarios.
The first one here would be the one who had left their post.
And now she saw who it was.
“Arianna!” Micki called, stepping out of her car and hurrying across the side street.
The woman stopped and whirled around, a hand to her chest. “Micki! You about scared the life out of me.”
“I see that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“What are you doing here so early?”
“I need to see Professor Truebell or Eli.”
“I’m sorry, they’re not here.”
“So I gathered. When do you expect them?”
She looked uncomfortable. “Not for a couple days. They had a meeting with the High Council.”
“Did Zach know about this?”
“No one did. The Council likes the element of surprise. They summon, you drop everything and go.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Micki frowned. “That’s a little weird, don’t you think?”
“It’s that way for the council’s safety. They never gather in the same place, but move from one secure location to another.”
“Wow. They’re not only dicks, but paranoid dicks, too.”
Arianna’s cheeks reddened. “The Dark One and his army of Dark Bearers are real, Micki,” she said. “He’d love to wipe them all out at once.”
At her fierce defense of the Council, Micki cocked an eyebrow. “I thought your allegiance was to the professor?”
She stiffened. “Of course, it is. But agree with their policies or not, the Council is the Lightkeepers’ governing body. We can’t take any chances.”
Something about the way she said it rankled, like the “we” was exclusive. “So, no communications to them, in or out. Am I right?”
“You are. And before you ask, not even telepathic ones.”
Her response confirmed why neither one had answered her calls or texts. Micki nodded. “Thanks. If you happen to hear from them, let them know I was here.”
“Wait! Your pendant, where did you get it?”
Micki’s hand went to it. “It was a gift from a friend. Someone very special to me.” She turned to go. “Be sure to tell them I was here.”
“Maybe I can help you?”
She stopped, looked back. “I don’t think so.” The words came out more brusquely than Micki intended, so she added, “Thanks anyway.”
“You don’t like me, do you?”
“I don’t know you, Arianna.”
“I’m Zach’s mother. That should mean something.”
“That’s between the two of you.”
“And you’re the kind of person who has to form your own opinions?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“And you’re very protective of the people you care about.” She paused. “You can trust me, Micki. The last thing I want to do is hurt him.”
Arianna was perceptive, she’d give her that. “That doesn’t mean you won’t.”
Once more, Micki turned to go, but this time Arianna caught her elbow. “What about you?” Arianna asked. “Are you going to hurt him?”
“He’s my partner. I’d put my life on the line to protect his.”
“Not that kind of hurt.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” She held her gaze. “You’re important to him. You know that, don’t you?”
Arianna was trying to mind-fuck her. Not in the way Natalie King had the night before, but in the way Zach had that one time. Holding her gaze, seeming to reach into her brain and extract the emotional truth, like it or not.
Even knowing that, Micki couldn’t not answer. “Yes.”
“And he’s more than a partner to you, isn’t he?”
Micki couldn’t break the hold of the woman’s icy blue gaze. “Yes.”
“You care for him. More than you should.”
“I do.”
“You might even be in love with him.”
“Who do you love most in the world, Michaela Dare?”
Resistance rose up in her, rushing from a place inside her she hadn’t known existed until yesterday, reverberating like a silent sonic boom.
Micki leapt away from her. “Who are you?”
“You know who I am.”
“No.” She shook her head and took another step back. “Have you done something with Professor Truebell? With Eli? Have you hurt them?”
“Micki, what are you . . . that’s crazy. Of course not.”
The woman looked shocked. And concerned. What if she was wrong, Micki wondered?
What if she wasn’t?
Her head pounded. “Why’d you do that? Why’d you get inside my head like that?”
“I shouldn’t have! I’m sorry.”
“Drop the bullshit! Why’d you do it?”
The woman clasped her hands together. “Because I . . . I think Zach’s in love with you and I wanted to know how you felt about him. That’s all, I promise.”
Her gaze dropped to Micki’s hand, hovering over her holstered weapon. “Please don’t shoot me.”
Micki realized what she was doing and dropped her hand. She took another step back. If this was Arianna, her own behavior would be not only bizarre, but downright dangerous. And if this wasn’t Arianna?
She should shoot her dead and face the consequences.
“Tell me what’s going on, Micki. Why did you need to talk to Eli or the professor? Are you all right?”
Micki gazed at her, stomach going sour. No, she wasn’t all right. Not at all.
This time, when she turned to walk away, Arianna didn’t try to stop her.
Chapter Twenty-four
7:45 A.M.
The Nova’s engine roared to life. Micki found the deep rumble oddly reassuring. The way Hank’s deep voice reassured. Familiar. And comforting.
Hank’s voice. Twice now she’d heard it in her head. Both times warning her to move away from where her thoughts were taking her. Both times had been since she’d started wearing Hank’s medal.
Or had his voice always been there? Could it be the medal only made her more aware of it?
What was happening to her? She’d imagined shooting Natalie King. She’d almost pulled her gun on Arianna. She’d accused the woman of doing something egregious to Eli and the professor.
Micki curled her fingers around the mahogany steering wheel, the wood warm from the sun. Eli and Professor Truebell weren’t going to be able to help her, not right now anyway. She thought of Zach and Angel, the things Natalie King said. They were in danger, but she didn’t know how to protect them.
She had to find a way. She couldn’t lose them. It would kill her.
Her cell phone went off, startling her. She grabbed it. “Detective Dare.”
“Detective, it’s Cyndi Stevens. Sarah’s sister.”
It took Micki a moment to make the connection. Sarah, who committed suicide. Her grieving sibling.
“Yes, Cyndi,” she said, her own voice sounding unfamiliar to her ears. Tinny and breathless. “How can I help you?”
“You told me I could call if . . . anytime to check . . .”
Her words trailed painfully off. “Of course,” Micki said. “Unfortunately, as of this moment, I don’t have anything new to share.”
“It’s his fault she’s dead, Detective. You have to prove it!”
Micki thought of Mercedes’ call, of the bizarre similarities between the two situations. “I understand your feelings, I do. But unless we find physical evidence that links Keith Gerard to your sister’s death, our hands are tied.”
�
��Are you even looking?” Her voice rose slightly. “I’m sorry, I’m just so . . . Sarah was my only family and my best friend.”
Her voice cracked on the last, and Micki’s heart went out to her. “It’s okay. You’re upset. I get it.”
“Cyndi thought he was cheating on her. With someone from the ad agency.”
“People do that sometimes, Ms. Stevens—”
“She was there, the night Sarah did it.”
“Who was there?” Micki asked.
“The woman he was cheating with. A neighbor saw her.”
Micki sat up straighter. “This is new information.”
“I just learned it myself. I’m here with her neighbor now.”
“Stay put,” Micki said. “I’m on my way.”
***********
Cyndi Stevens was a waif-like woman, made more so, it seemed, by grief. She sat on the front steps of the fourplex, another woman beside her, arm around her shoulders.
They both stood as Micki climbed out of the car and started up the walk. One maple tree stood in the small patch of yard, and birds flitted around a feeder hung from a low branch. A large blackbird seemed intent on ruffling the others’ feathers by swooping this way and that, shooing the others away, but not feeding itself.
“He’s a troublemaker, that one.”
Micki looked at the older woman. “Pardon?”
“The blackbird. He comes around every so often, just to stir up trouble.”
She clapped her hands, and he flew to one of the upper branches and perched there, seeming to watch them.
“Detective Dare, this is Geri. She’s the neighbor I told you about.”
“How do,” the woman said, holding out her hand. She wore a colorful housecoat and slippers; gray hair peeked out from under a pink spa turban. “Came out to feed my birds this mornin’—” she pointed to the bag of seed, “—and ran into Cyndi. I had to offer my sympathies.”
“That’s when she told me about seeing a woman here Thursday night.”
“Yup, I saw her.” She nodded and the turban bobbled. “Thursday night.”
“What time was that?” Micki asked.
“’Bout eight, I think. Me and my fella had been out for a bite.”
Micki made a note in her small spiral.
“How did you recognize her?”
“Didn’t. Never seen her before.”
Fallen Five Page 10
