My eyes.
“Tristan?” I whispered.
“Yes, mother. It’s me. Your son.”
Emotion overcame me as a lump formed in my throat. I put out my finger towards his smooth cheek. The last time I touched him he was swaddled in soft blankets safe in my arms. I had to touch him again, know all those moments I forsook for greed.
“LAILA! NO!” a roar broke through.
It was too late.
The image dissolved as a gnarled claw struck through the water. It clutched around my wrist and pulled hard. Rumpelstiltskin leapt behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled the opposite way.
Another hand sprang through the surface and seized my arm. More claws and bent fingers tugged on my sleeve and entangled in my hair. Rumpelstiltskin’s fingernails dug into my hips, nearly tearing my skin.
A loud hiss bore into my head. An ugly creature of green leapt out and wound its boney arms around my upper back. Stiff scales scratched my skin, and black hair stuck to its pointed cheekbones. It jerked with a strength I never thought possible.
I slid over the side and into the icy water. Cold exploded across my skin. Spasms attacked my throat, and my lungs wanted to involuntarily breathe from the shock. I focused hard on keeping my mouth shut, even though my chest convulsed.
The claws tightened around my ankles and my waist. Some even tugged at my ears. I tried to kick and scratch, but my chemise logged with water and weighed me down further. I tore one arm free, their nails scratching my skin as I did so. I felt for the knife at my hip. Taking hold, I lunged it in every direction, hoping to stab one of the infernal beasts. A pair of sharp teeth dug into my wrist, and the knife slipped out of my fingers.
Bubbles burst beside me. Several of the claws let go. I looked through the murky water and saw the pale face of Rumpelstiltskin. He kicked one in the nose. Snapped another’s neck.
I reached out for him and he grabbed onto my wrist. My lungs burned for air. The light from the surface grew dim. His face started to blend into everything. The shrill screams echoed in my ears.
I was drifting into nothing.
I tried to focus on his worried eyes. I could make out mermaids coming behind him prepared for a fresh attack. He didn’t seem to care.
His warm hands grabbed my cheeks and he locked my lips against his. They were forceful, earnest. I couldn’t help remembering the last time I had felt them when we were in the dungeon surrounded by gold and straw. But this wasn’t a kiss like then.
Pressing his mouth harder against my own he expelled his air into my lungs and I felt them expand. The figures grew clearer. The burning lessened. He was saving me from drowning.
The mermaids were inches away. Their gnarled fingers reached for his hair. For his arms. For his feet.
I grabbed hold of his hand and tried to make for the surface. Something stopped us. I looked back. At least thirty of the creatures clawed at him. He tried to fend them off, but his eyes grew glassy. I tugged on him harder, but they only tugged back with a strength a hundred times greater.
His fingers were slipping from my grip. But it wasn’t from them pulling him away.
He was removing his own fingers from my grasp. He was letting me go.
I floated free. I tried to grab at him one last time, but he had already slipped too far into the darkness.
I didn’t have time to think. Several other mermaids saw me. They would not be satisfied with only one kill.
I kicked towards the surface and broke through. I grabbed for the boat and pulled myself in. I was shivering. But from cold or shock, or something else entirely, I didn’t know.
I looked over the side for any sign of him. Any hope that he might float to the top. But as the seconds turned into minutes, hot tears streamed down my face.
I turned away and sunk into the bottom of the boat and buried my face in my hands. Was I honestly crying for this man? Two days ago nothing would have given me greater pleasure than to see him ripped apart by a thousand beasties. But now…
Now I wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around me and hold me tight. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder and never let go. Monster’s can occasionally do what is right, his voice flitted through my mind. Guilt flushed over me that I had been so blind to all he had done for me.
Light shone through the cracks of my fingers. I lifted my face and saw my palms were cast in shades of orange. Crackling and spitting cut through the dank silence. I slowly turned and peered behind me.
Blood rushed through my heart.
A firestorm spiraled in the sky and twisted down into the water. Bubbles frothed as the lake began to boil and heat beat against my cheeks. The fire roared as it twisted and flared, the devilish creatures spinning up into the cyclone. Their screeches filled the night as the flames burnt their scales and devoured their thin flesh.
Through the red and through the blaze, the silhouette of a man rose from the churning water. My breath stuck in my throat as I watched the fire consume his body, though he did not burn. He remained impervious. Perfect.
His hands held high over his head, he spun his arms in great circles. The fire obeyed, spiraling faster.
His fingers remained steady, his arms imbued with power. In one swift motion, he brought them slamming down into the water’s surface. The surf ignited into a great inferno.
I could finally see the man’s face.
Rumpelstiltskin.
My chest pounded as he approached me, walking across the water. The fire burned beautifully behind him. Magic filled his gaze, a savage intensity dancing behind his irises, an intensity I hadn’t seen since he spun straw into gold.
He continued stepping towards the boat, his shoulders square and stature tall. His black hair whipped across his cheeks and forehead, but his eyes remained firmly on my own. They needed me. Yearned for me. As if I granted him his very power.
I wanted to give him whatever he asked.
Reaching the vessel he grasped the rail, and immediately the fire extinguished. The boiling water stilled. The man who had controlled the uncontrollable, who had nearly died for me, collapsed into a heap on the bottom of the boat.
He continued to breathe.
Cuts and scratches from claws tore across his nose and his hands. His body trembled from cold. I grabbed his hand, shocked by the icy chill of his skin. Placing it between my own, I rubbed it gently urging the blood to flow through his veins again.
He stared at me without saying a word. As if this moment made every bruise, every discomfort, worth it. I felt my lips turn into a smile and took his other hand, massaging his palm and fingers. Warmth started to flow again.
I wanted to say so much to him, but I was completely lost for words, except one.
“How?” I managed to blurt out.
He slowly lifted himself up, wincing as his tendons snapped. Leaning forward he let out a slow breath. I quivered as it curled across my skin.
“There was enough magic suspended in these waters. Just enough I could harness it. It took every drop of strength within me. I didn’t know if…” he trailed off, but I could guess what he had intended to say. He didn’t know if he would survive.
He looked into me with an intensity that sent a shiver rippling down to my toes. I lifted my hand and traced the side of his face, moving a black strand of his hair away from his eyes. He clapped his hand on top of mine and I saw what he wanted me to see before. He was willing to repay for his sins, even with his own life.
I leaned closer in. So did he. His face burned hot into my fingertips. My lips pulsed wanting to feel his again. He closed his eyes.
As my lips skated over his, memory flushed in my mind. Of his hardened face demanding my entire world. Of asking for my first born.
I pulled away, removing my hand and folding it in my lap.
“Thank you,” I said. “For what you did.”
He blinked several times, then flushed red and cleared his throat. Pushing off the floor of the boat, he tried to stand,
but fell back.
“We can’t stop,” he said, his words rough. “We must continue forward.”
He tried to get up again, but it was obvious he was too weak to continue.
Chapter Nine
Twine:
noun: a strong string of two or more strands twisted together
verb: interlace
RUMPELSTILTSKIN
We spoke not another word to each other, though my lips continued to burn for her.
She took the oars and paddled us across the river. The boat touched the shore as night fell.
Another field spread out before us, but this one differed from the other. Asphodels sprouted in flecks of white across lush green. Pine trees stretched on either side for miles, like an artist drew a thick line cutting across a piece of paper. Beyond this lay Awake.
All that mattered was we were out of Nightmare and out of Fate’s reach—for now.
By my estimation the realm’s edge was a day’s journey away. I could already feel the hints of magic tingling in my veins. Healing me. But for now, I would have to rest.
I sat in the grass by the fire. Laila ate some berries she found. Our eyes accidentally met through the flames. My heart pounded. Her cheeks flushed.
She turned her gaze to her feet and popped in another red berry, chewing forcefully.
I forced myself to not think of the citrus in her hair.
Something tapped my shoulder breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up to Laila holding out a handful of glistening berries.
“I figured you might be hungry,” she said. “You need to eat.”
I took the fruit, my fingers brushing hers. She pulled away, and placed her hands at her sides.
“Thank you,” I said.
This was more than a few sweet berries. It was an olive branch. An exceptionally small olive branch, but one all the same.
My strength continued to grow. I felt nearly whole again, except for the hole in my heart I knew would never fill without her love. She was my only source of light in a world of darkness.
She turned, and entered the shelter she had built. I was left alone with my lips tingling from the memory of our near kiss. Of the space remaining between us.
I rubbed my mouth, trying to remove the sensation as if it were a stain. It served only to frustrate me. It was obvious she didn’t care for me. Hell, she hated me.
Still, I didn’t understand why she reached out for my hand in that murky water. A lack of air must have made her delusional to consider such a thing. No other choice remained but for me to bend back her fingers and tear my hand from her saving grip. I wouldn’t let her die saving me when she wished for nothing more than for me to be torn limb from limb.
Yet, when I fell back into the boat…God! How she looked at me. She touched me and tried to give comfort. Me. The man who used her. The man who damned her.
My lips started to tingle again at the thought. I grabbed a twig out of the grass and threw it into the flames, trying not to dwell on it. There was no point living in a fantasy.
Night deepened. The fire burnt into embers. I remained awake. Thinking.
Always thinking.
Fabric rushed beside me. I turned my head, hoping it wasn’t another beast needing to be killed. It was only Laila. Her cheeks were drained of color and her lips reminded me of a corpse.
She plopped down on the grass beside me and stared into the smoldering red.
“Could you also not sleep?” she asked.
Her voice was calm, yet sounded so very far away. As if other thoughts preoccupied her mind. I wondered if they were the same thoughts occupying my own.
“I’ve not slept in twenty years. Ever since…” I lifted my hand, showing her my scar. “Sleep is luxury, not necessity.”
I dared a glance at her. She hugged her knees against her breasts, her gaze transfixed on the ash and cinders.
“I wish I didn’t have to sleep,” she said, her eyes rimmed in red. “There are always walls. Tight walls that want to crush me. I am trapped in a prison and I know it is forever. There is no escape. There is only surrender.”
I inched closer to her. She didn’t move away, just kept staring into the coal, as if the light would chase away whatever ghosts haunted her. I grew jealous of the light. I wanted to chase them away for her.
“What happened to you after…” I asked softly.
She wiped a tear from her cheek and faced me.
“After the fury took me?” she finished. “Horror. Utter horror. The realms you described where there is no hope…that is where I have been.”
My stomach twisted and I became ill. I couldn’t bear the thought of such a truth. Emotion overcame me and I wanted to touch her arm. Do anything to give her comfort, but I dared not. Such an action would be disgusting to her. She wouldn’t want sympathy from the man responsible for putting her in that hell.
She continued, her voice remaining glassy, “Every night I go back there. To a room that is dark except for a sliver of gray light. That is how I see my own blood on the stone walls as I try to scratch my way out. No matter how hard I try, no matter how deeply my fingernails split, it’s as if I never tried at all. I can’t tell you how many stones I’ve removed, crushed, cracked. All of them reappear back in their rightful place as if I never bothered.
“Then, there is the voice. A woman’s voice. Atropos. Always telling me to stop, that it is pointless. I know she is right, but I can’t stop trying. Your books were wrong in this respect. It is not a realm without hope. It is that you do have hope, but you know nothing will ever come from it. Hope becomes your torment.”
A crystal tear rolled down her cheek. I stopped myself again from wiping it away with my thumb. For three seconds I feared I was suffering the same fate. Tormented by my own hope.
“I’m sorry,” I choked. “I never…I mean, I didn’t…couldn’t. Rage blinded me.”
I internally cursed myself for allowing such a jumble of meaningless drivel to flood out of my mouth.
“Is Tristan happy?” she asked, changing the subject.
My mind had to race for an answer. He was happy as a child, but I knew he wasn’t anymore. And it was my fault.
“He enjoys reading,” I answered. “He is very bright. Very kind. You would be proud of the man he has become.”
He was far better than the man I was. I don’t know how I managed to get him to be so decent. I shivered at the thought of whether Laila was right if Fate planned something for him. I didn’t want Tristan to become embroiled in his trap like me.
Guilt overtook me again that I had shut Tristan out. Ran away from my pain. I should have been stronger for him. I would be stronger.
I would fight for both of them even if it meant my end.
“He asks about you…” I finally said.
Her face immediately grew ashen.
“Does he know?” she asked. “Does he know about the deal we made? Does he know that I gave him up?”
This truth shamed us both.
“No, he doesn’t,” I said. “I’ve taken great care to keep my promise to you. He thinks you died in childbirth. I made sure he believes you died a noble death.”
She breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes. Her lips twisted as if confusion washed over her. Or perhaps it was conflict.
Her eyes shot back open and she stared right through me.
“Did you know you’d survive?”
“The mermaids?” I questioned. I wasn’t sure what we were talking about anymore. Everything bled together.
“Yes. You saved me though you didn’t have to…again. Did you know you would live?”
Silence. The embers dimmed, the arcs of our faces cast in black shadows. I could barely see her now.
“No,” I replied simply. Truthfully. “I can’t die in our realm, but here in a realm without magic…death could have claimed me. Honestly, I didn’t care. I thought only of you. I’ve thought only of you for the past nineteen years.”
She leaned towards me. H
er hair smelled of fire now, not like the citrus I remembered.
“You truly were sacrificing yourself…” she whispered.
“You don’t know what I’d give to repay the pain I’ve caused you. Just to have your forgiveness,” I said. “I have demons, Laila. I am a creature of darkness. A shadow. I think I’m doing what is right when really I am destroying. I’ve told a thousand lies, but if there is ever one truth I speak it is this. You keep me from turning into a complete monster.”
The last cinder flickered, and darkness shrouded us. There was no moon, no stars. Only our souls left raw and exposed.
Warm fingers touched my cheek. They trembled. I didn’t want them to tremble. I wanted them to remain strong. I placed my hand over hers and pressed her palm into my skin. Her pulse sounded like music. Her quivering stilled.
That delicious power she possessed blossomed again. I craved it. Wanted it. But I would not take it.
I pulled away, but she wrapped her other hand behind my head. She tangled her fingers within my hair and pulled me back. Closer. Her heat radiated from her lips and cheeks. She wanted me. Of her own will. I thought I would go mad with desire.
Within the darkness fear dwindled into a memory as our feelings bared.
I grew bold.
I pressed her against me, savoring the softness of her breasts squeezing against my chest. Slipping my hand behind her waist I trailed the delicate hills of her spine. The bends of her hips and thighs. She traced the nape of my neck.
Our deepening breaths filled the silence. Heat coiled deep within me. Tightening. Infuriating.
I claimed her lips. They skated feverishly across one another, spreading into every arc and bend of cheek and chin. She drew me tighter against her, caressing my shoulders while I trailed my hand down her leg.
All thought left me. Consequence didn’t exist. There was only her and I. A woman and a man.
She nipped at my neck as I kissed her shoulders. A pleasurable chill rolled down my skin as her fingers slid beneath my shirt and skated down my chest and over my stomach. I wanted to feel her more.
Twist: A Fairy Tale Awakening (Spindlewind Trilogy Book Two) Page 15
