by KJ Dahlen
“What?” she whispered back licking her dry lips with her tongue as her eyes connected with his.
Theo was distracted for a moment by the movement of her tongue and he groaned slightly. His body temperature rose as he asked, “Do you want me?” He didn’t understood the rush going through him at the moment. He’d never felt this before, not even with his Grace. With Grace, he desired her, he enjoyed taking her body, but she didn’t look at him the same way Sarah did. He’d been feeling this rush for a while now but he would never cross that line with her if she didn’t want him to. But this, this would change their relationship and he had to know if she wanted that.
Sarah closed her eyes briefly but when she felt his hand wrap around her throat she opened them again. The look in his eyes told her he was as hungry for her as she was for him. “Yes, I want you,” she whispered. “I think I’ve wanted you for a long time, maybe my whole life.”
Theo paused for a moment then spoke, “I’m not an easy man to get along with. I don’t do the whole love thing, never have and I don’t know if I ever could. I didn’t know what real life was all about before I found you. I was married once but that didn’t work out. I thought I wanted her but I couldn’t keep her.” He looked into her eyes and was honest with her. “I didn’t know what it was like for her until I lost her. I never felt like this with her and I thought I was in love with her or at least I thought I cared about her. But she never loved me back.”
“Maybe you just haven’t had the right woman before.” She gazed into his eyes. “I could be that woman for you if you’d let me.”
Theo leaned toward her. “I have to know something.”
“What’s that?” she whispered as he got even closer.
“If we do this, you will belong to me. Is that what you want? I’m a possessive man and I don’t share what’s mine.” He paused and knew she got his message when her hand rose to the side of his bearded jaw.
Theo leaned in the last inch or so then his mouth crashed down on hers and that was all she wrote. Sparks blew as their lips came together and both felt the burn left in its wake. Theo groaned and Sarah gasped. He thrust his tongue down her throat and lust rushed through both of them.
His fingers tore her clothing off and threw them to the floor. Within minutes, she was standing in front of him naked and he drank in her view. Every curve was under his review and he groaned. “You’re beautiful.” He croaked.
The only thing she wore was a golden chain around her neck with a single gem dangling on the fragile thread. The stone was set in an old fashioned setting but was indeed very unique. He meant to ask about it but right now, he had other things on his mind.
She moaned and tried to hide her old life. He might not see her scars just yet but she knew they were there. “I need to see you too,” she reminded him shyly.
Theo stepped away and tore his own clothes off. Usually, he was rather picky about his clothing but that wasn’t the case today. Today, he didn’t care. He’d never felt this kind of rush before, not even with Grace and to him she was the one he thought would be his forever. Now, here today, he just wanted inside this woman. Never had he felt this intenseness, this rush. He grabbed her up into his arms and stalked her over to the bed. Throwing her down, he followed her and opened her legs to his view.
“Tell me to go or stay but if I stay, there will be no one else. This body will be mine. It will belong to me and me alone. I’m the kind of man who doesn’t share.”
Sarah looked deep into his eyes, “Take me. I need you and you alone.”
“I can’t be gentle this time. I need you and this too much.”
“It’s okay,” she assured him as she cupped his face with her hand. “I’ve wanted you for many months. I want you any way I can get.”
Theo thrust into her core and immediately felt her wrap around his cock. She was wet and warm and he felt a moment of resistance. His eyes widened as he realized why. His eyes snapped to hers and he saw her flinch in pain. “What the hell?” he gasped as he tried to pull out.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and wouldn’t let him go. “I need you. Please don’t stop.”
Theo paused briefly then pulled out enough to thrust back inside her, then he lost control and nothing would stop him at that point. His strokes got harder and faster than he ever thought he could do before her.
Neither of them could stop the rush of excitement barreling toward them. Sarah fell apart in his arms. She gasped then cried out as she crossed over the threshold of ecstasy.
Theo felt her explode and three thrusts later, he flew over the edge. He couldn’t stop it as it was almost like he had no resistance to her needs. Calling out her name, he smothered her lips with his as he emptied himself deep inside her. He laid his forehead on hers and his breathing was harsh for a moment or two. Then he lifted his weight off her and slid down at her side. Cupping her chin, he turned her to face him.
Sarah reluctantly opened her eyes to face the music.
“How are you still a virgin?” he asked quietly.
Sarah looked at him and boldly told him, “I’m twenty-nine years old and I’m not ashamed of the fact that I waited. I wanted to feel something for the man I gave my innocence to. I’m glad it was you. You’re the first man I ever felt anything except fear for.”
“You know I’m too old for you right?” he informed her. “My kids were older than you are right now.”
Sarah’s body jerked. “Your kids?” she squeaked. She had heard him talk about his kids but she had no idea they were still alive. He’d always talked about them in the past.
“I had two kids, a son and a daughter but that was in my old life. A life I no longer want. I don’t think I could live that life anymore. I’ve been away from it for a year now and you know something? I don’t really even miss it.”
“And where are they now?”
“They both died a while back,” Theo admitted.
Sarah studied him for a moment then noticed the hardness in him for the first time. She trembled in fear of him for the first time. “I don’t know the real you do I?” she finally whispered.
Theo shook his head. “No, you don’t. I thought I could start my life over as a new man, a different man but I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” Raising her hand to his face she whispered, “You are a strong man. A vibrant man, you can leave the past in the past and move on with your new life if that’s really what you want.”
Theo raised his eyes to hers. He plucked her hand off his cheek and kissed her fingertips. “My dear woman, you don’t know who I was in my past. That would be impossible.”
~*~
Sarah closed her eyes as tears squeezed through her eyelids. “We all have secrets Theo. We all have a past we wish never happened.”
Theo studied her for a moment then had to ask, “What could a woman as sweet as you ever done to cause this much sadness?”
Sarah stared into his eyes and didn’t speak for a moment. She didn’t know if she could even tell him about her past. She had lived with this for twelve years now and only one other person knew what really happened that night. She’d been alone and living in fear since then and now, she was tired of living this way. Maybe Theo couldn’t help her but at least with him she felt strong enough to take the chance. She swallowed hard and then she whispered her sins to him, “I killed a man.”
Theo looked shocked at her confession. He didn’t speak for a moment then he shook his head. “That can’t be true. You could never hurt anyone.”
Sarah’s tears rolled down her face. “But its true. I did kill him and I would do it again. Jack Connors deserved to die and I don’t regret a moment what I did to him.”
“What happened?”
Sarah moved away from him or at least she tried but Theo wasn’t going to let her. He brought her back to his side and he waited for her to speak.
Sarah swallowed hard and tried to gather her thoughts. “My mom was widowed when I was a baby. She got married again a year later and
she picked the worst man but it really wasn’t her fault. He hid his bad side until he couldn’t hide it any more. He never really liked my brother and me. He ran my brother off when he was eighteen. He made it impossible for him to stay in that house. I was a lot younger than Stone, so I was stuck living with him and mom. I got to see the real Jack in a way my brother never could. You see, Jack liked to drink a lot and when he drank, he got mean and nasty. Mom always sent me to my room and told me to lock the door when he began drinking. She tried to keep me safe and that worked for a while but pretty soon a locked door wouldn’t keep him out.” She paused and swallowed hard. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “When I was fourteen he tried to rape me. My mom stopped him but she took a beating for interfering. He hurt her so bad I vowed that it would never happen again.”
“What happened?”
“When I was fifteen he began drinking and staring at me. When he got up to get another beer, Mom knew what was about to happen and she sent me to my room. She told me to lock the door. She told me not to come out no matter what I heard.”
“What did you hear?”
“When Jack came back, he noticed I was gone and he blew a gasket. They began yelling and screaming at each other. It got real bad really fast. I heard my mom screaming and I knew he was hurting her and I couldn’t stand it. I came out of my room with my baseball bat in my hand. He was strangling her and I swung my bat. He hit the floor with a thud but he let her go and I kept hitting him again and again. It was like all the rage and fear I lived with over the years was right there and I just couldn’t stop.” She shuddered as the memories came rushing back. “There was so much blood, it was scary.” Her voice had dropped to a bare whisper and she looked at him. “Mom tried to stop me but I couldn’t. It wasn’t until she wrapped her arms around me that I stopped. Jack was dead and I was so scared. Jack Connors had three brothers and a father that never liked me. Hell, they could barely handle being around my mom but me? If they knew I killed Jack, they would have killed me on sight. After the funeral, I had to leave. I wouldn’t put anything past those bastards, so Mom and I left town. I didn’t trust leaving mom behind. They blamed her for his death and they were coming to settle the score. I got my mom settled in another town under a different name and then I left. I couldn’t risk staying around her and bringing Jack’s family to her door. I changed my name and never looked back. I’ve been running for fourteen years now.”
Theo felt a rage rushing through his body. Not for her but for the men who caused this tragedy in her life. “You left home at fifteen?”
Sarah nodded. “I had to, don’t you see? I had to protect my mother.”
“Have you seen her since?”
“Once or twice. From a distance. But Jack’s brothers and father are still looking for me, so I can’t go back for her yet.”
“What about your brother? Stone, I think you called him.”
Sarah nodded. “I haven’t seen him in so long.” She trailed off at the end of her statement. “I don’t even know if he wants to see me. You see I lied to him many years ago. I told him there was nothing wrong at home. I led him to believe mom and I were safe. Stone isn’t one to forgive lies and deception. He always told me growing up to tell the truth. He was so much older than I was that I looked up to him. I promised never to lie to him and I did. I lied to him.”
“I think he would understand,” Theo assured her.
She shook her head. “You don’t know my brother. He can be a stubborn ass when he wants to be.”
“I think he’d be more concerned about you than worrying about the lie you told. He must be looking for you.”
Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know if he is or not. I had to break all my ties in order to hide from Jack’s brothers. I changed my name a few times over the years and I kept running. It seems like I’ve been running my whole life. I’m afraid if I stay in one place too long, they’ll find me.”
“Maybe once we settle things here you should reach out to your brother. Maybe if you can find him and tell him the truth he could forgive you for the past.”
Sarah felt the tears roll down her cheeks. “I wouldn’t know where to start looking for him.”
“Maybe you could ask James.” Theo smiled. “He claims he can find anything.”
“Maybe,” she gulped. Hesitating she whispered, “But what if he doesn’t want anything to do with me and my lies?”
“Then he’d be a fool,” Theo assured her.
Sarah rested her forehead on his chest. She dared to have hope in her heart for reaching out to her brother but she knew she couldn’t drag him into this situation with Jack’s brothers. “I can’t reach out yet. I won’t bring this down on his shoulders. This is my mess not his.”
“Honey, you’ve been running for all these years, you have to stop and face your past. I know that’s hard and you may not want to do it but that’s the only way you can be safe.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered brokenly.
Chapter Four
Theo joined Priest and James in Priest’s room. He’d left Sarah sleeping after another go round with him. He felt energized by what they shared but she was worn out. He paused for a moment to allow these feelings to wash over him. The sex he just had...it’d been nothing like before in his life. He actually felt things with this woman. It had been as if he was the virgin. A newbie to the world of feeling and emotions.
He knocked on the door.
Priest opened it and motioned him inside.
James had pages laid out on the coffee table and Theo moved over there to see what they had. They were prison records that showed the men and their mug shots along with a list of the crimes they’d gone to jail for. None of the men he found there were saints, in fact each and every one of them looked as if killing wouldn’t bother them at all.
Theo looked over at Priest. “This is Oscar’s crew?”
Priest nodded. “Each of them handpicked by Oscar and Matty.”
“So how do we stop them?”
Priest turned to stare at him. Then he asked a very important question, “How bloody are you willing to get on this mission?”
Theo glared at the other man before he said, “As bloody as it takes to stop the war. Oscar and Matty Buckley will never get here.”
Priest nodded. “We’ll stay as much in the background as we can but we may not always be able to stay in the shadows.” He paused. “We’re going to have to put these men down, you realize that. We can’t allow them to regroup or finish what Oscar has started.”
Theo nodded. “I know and I’m ready.” He shuddered then stood taller. “What’s our first step?”
“I think we should find the survivalists and neutralize them before Oscar and the rest of his group even gets to Lowell,” Priest informed him.
Theo felt this was smart as he nodded then turned to James. “When this is over I need you to find someone for me.”
“Oh, who might that be?”
“Sarah’s brother, Stone. I also need some information on Jack Connors and his family.”
“Who is Jack Connors?” Priest frowned.
“Jack is Sarah’s stepfather. Something bad happened to Jack a lifetime ago and I need to know what I’m up against with her.” He stared at both men. “I just want to know the players, that’s all. I have no plans to kill them if that’s what you think.”
Priest nodded. “Ok, but whatever you find you share with us and we can all decide what to do about it.”
“Ok, what do you have in mind for the men in Lowell?”
“Other than neutralizing them?” Priest shrugged. “I really hadn’t planned that far yet. Why, what did you have in mind?”
“Circle of life my friend.” Theo smiled as if he had a huge secret in mind. “Something I noticed the last time I was here.” Then he went on to suggest what he had in mind.
When he was finished, Priest pulled him aside and after a moment, he told the other man, “James and I can do this on our own, if you like
. I know you wanted a new life for yourself and if you do this, you won’t ever make a clean break from it. All of this...” He motioned at the new face and all the pain Bane had endured over the last year. “All of this will have been for nothing.”
Bane thought for a moment then nodded. “A year ago, I might have changed my mind. Hell, I might not have done it at all. But I saw something today, something that told me I have to be here. I had to help that MC.”
“Oh, what was that?” Priest looked curious.
Theo grinned. “I saw Cricket. She was walking down the street pushing a baby stroller, and inside that stroller were three babies. They weren’t newborn babies but they weren’t that old either. A year ago, she would have been pregnant with them when I saw her last. She would have been far enough along that she knew they were growing inside her already. You weren’t here a year ago, so you wouldn’t have seen her stand up to me then. As you know, the MC was willing to go to war with Zevon Stark to protect her and she was willing to die to protect them. Stark had put a contract out on her life and when she found out about it she begged me for three days. She wanted three days before I killed her, just to say goodbye to her life.”
“You would have killed her?” Priest crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.
Theo shook his head. “No I wasn’t here to kill her. I only brought the message of the contract. Then three men from Stark’s camp found her. They would have killed her and not for the money either. They would have killed her because they were afraid of Stark.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is Cricket didn’t whine about the possibility there was a hit out on her, she didn’t hide behind the MC and she didn’t run. She showed more fucking courage by facing her demise than I’d ever seen before.” He paused then looked at Priest. “In this line of work you and I have met some powerful men, men who think money rules the world, men who think everyone has their price. Cricket’s never had anything and yet she stood her ground. She lived those three days like she had nothing left to lose. She even married her man the second day. The men who’d hired me over the years would have tried bribery, threats and they would have pissed their pants at the sight of a barrel of a gun shoved in their slimy faces. They would have thrown their families under the bus to get away if they had too. Cricket didn’t do that. You want to know something else? The contract should have been on my daughter Cordelia, not Cricket. Cordelia was the one who did the deed in the first place, Cordelia is the one who betrayed Stark not Cricket. But Stark didn’t care, he wanted blood and would not be denied. When the MC wanted to ride against Stark, she wouldn’t let them. That little girl wouldn’t put anyone in her place. That took a great deal of courage and an almost forgotten sense of honor. I’ve only seen that sense of honor from one man before and she never knew that man. That man was my grandfather. He may have been a killer like me but he had that sense of honor. He tried to teach it to me but my feelings were never like his. I could kill without remorse but when she did that, I remembered that old man.”
