by Peter Keogh
The gay bars today we find a bit threatening and a lot of the younger clientele seem to be so angry and aggressive and drugs seem to be everywhere. No time for us Nannas. However, in Perth a fabulous bar/nightclub called Connections has opened an extension of the bar we used to attend thirty years ago and added a rooftop section that is a bit quieter and more suited to older persons but still great fun. More people, gay and straight, these days meet through web sites where a photo is exchanged, and if the look suits, a meeting is arranged. As a result there is less live interaction at gay venues, which were such a fun part of discovering my gay identity.
As the years pass our health issues increase. Last week I had a battery of blood tests and sad to say that every test that should have been low was high and every test that should have been high was low, so if I don’t act on my doctor’s advice promptly this may be my last epistle. Frightening, so I plan to start... tomorrow! The hardest matter for me has been to face the fact that dear Mum has once again at ninety-one had a return of her cancer, but she has decided that the side effects of the chemotherapy are so debilitating she has stopped that part of her treatment. My sister and brother-in-law are living in Mum’s home and taking good care of her, which I know she appreciates, as do I. My biggest fear these days is that I will finally have to face the day I have dreaded for over seventy years - losing Mum!
Last year I was given the most wonderful seventieth birthday party by John Frost and his partner Shane O’Connor at their beautiful home in Bayview, Sydney, overlooking a bay of islands, all organised by Sach and John, who was extremely generous. The day before about twelve dear friends and family who had flown from Perth to Sydney, along with Paul Callaghan who kindly flew in from Malaysia en route to London, were all given a special private tour of Sydney Opera House, the theatres and behind the scenes, all because I was a staff member from the day the Opera House first opened. My guests were all thrilled. We were then given a grand tour of the magnificent State Theatre by one of my oldest and dearest friends, the wonderful Stuart Greene. Once again we were shown areas that only a VIP would normally see - it enthralled my guests and meant the world to me. Stuart is a genuine lover of all things ‘theatre’ and we loved working together as ushers at Her Majesty’s Theatre and the Theatre Royal. He has met every celebrity who has passed through the State Theatre and has many a tale to tell, including how Joan Collins, who had a very expensive ‘Meet & Greet’ for her fans after her show, only allowed them to come as close as a few metres from her! Apart from that, Joan was touched by a collection of her memorabilia that Stuart had collected over the years.
The party was a wonderful celebration - Sach had all the place mats made from photos of me at various stages of my life. We had wonderful food, drinks supplied by John and Shane, music from Tim Cunniffe, and video messages from all over the world from special and much-loved friends like Robert Cope, Paul Peacock, Sally Brookes, Sherry Anne-Cunniffe, The Rt Honourable Lord Mayor of Perth the exceptional Lisa Scaffidi and a person whom I admire more each day, Debbie Reynolds!
After the party John and Shane kindly asked us to spend a few days on their beautiful property in the countryside about an hour from the city, before we flew to Vanuatu. Paradise for us! It was pouring rain and we had fun exploring the joys of country life. John and Shane are turning the property into a very elegant retreat; they are a special couple and generous to a fault.
A few days later, as a birthday gift, my nephew Brad Pritchard and his beautiful partner Fiona McGrechan flew Sach and I with my sister Patsy and her husband Carey to Vanuatu where Brad is now based. We had five glorious days with very special people. Brad is like a son to Sach, so he was ecstatic to be able to spend time with him. I loved every single minute of the trip - great company, beautiful scenery and a million laughs. A joyous five days! Brad is my sister Patsy’s first born to her husband Mike Pritchard. Their marriage may have ended but they remain friends and have both been instrumental in assisting to raise Brad with 100% support from Mike’s wife, Sue, and Patsy’s husband Carey Gibbons.
Shortly after I wrote this, Vanuatu was practically removed from the map by a category 5 cyclone, the most severe of its kind. Brad and Fiona spent the night in a basement in three feet of water with three friends, two dogs and their cat. During the night their roof blew away and water poured into the basement - they had to keep bailing out water so as not to drown. They had no power, water or sewerage. Brad was terribly upset because the whole building he worked in, which was huge and similar to Ikea but with more white goods, has totally disappeared. His greatest concern was for his staff, most of whom lived in very fragile dwellings that have been destroyed.
When Sach first met Bradley he was up in a tree at his seventh birthday party, so Sach climbed up the tree to be with him and an immediate and deep bond was formed that is still strong today. He was a cute and endearing child and I used to be his worst nightmare at times. I would be driving him to YMCA but stop on the way at strangers’ homes and say that we had to get out now. It’s a wonder he talks to me now, but he not only talks he is a wonderful, generous friend. Sach would give up his kidneys for Brad if he needed them! His partner Fiona is both beautiful inside and outside. She is a tolerant and loving lady with eyes that melt everyone’s heart. Sach and I are hoping wedding bells will be ringing before we shuffle off - at our age getting closer quickly!
Patsy and Carey also have a son, Brodie, who is their pride and joy and who had a few growing pains many years ago. But what youth hasn’t had those? Look at me! He has settled down to be an intelligent, artistic, charming and responsible young adult. Brad’s father, Mike, has two delightful sons with Sue, Jake and Chad, and they are all very close which is terrific. I say full marks to both families for their parenting skills and for raising such fine citizens. It looks like I’m the only odd ball in the family.
Recently I have had more health issues. I’m sure you will not be surprised to hear of this, but when a hypochondriac really gets sick its panic stations time!
Late last year I fell off a stool at work - sober as a judge, I swear - and seemed to have hurt my collarbone, so I was sent to have an x-ray. A few hours after work I was in my favourite bar, The Oyster Bar, and chatting with the manager and good friend Vicki Sankey when my mobile rang. I excused myself and took the call, which was from my doctor, who informed me that the x-ray showed that my collarbone was fine. But just by chance, in the corner of the x-ray they noticed that my thyroid gland was very swollen and I was told to return first thing the next day for an urgent CT scan of my thyroid. Vicki said she noticed that my face blanched and she saw me get a bit teary so she rushed over with a scotch and coke, on the house! It certainly helped.
The CT scan result the following day shocked the doctor, who sent me immediately to an endocrinologist who told me that my thyroid was more than twice its normal size. It was growing down behind my collarbone and starting to press into my trachea. This explains how, on my last night at John Frost and Shane O’Connor’s place in Sydney, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I had mumps, because my neck was so swollen and it was difficult to breathe. I called the After Hours GP who just gave me some aspirin but apparently it was the thyroid pressing on my trachea. Back in Perth I was speechless as the surgeon booked me in for a total thyroidectomy. Sach practically carried me home from the surgery, since I was a total wreck! I was warned about the risks, such as total loss of voice, cancer and more.
In the hospital I was prepped and given extra pre-meds because of my fear of the operation, yet after two hours I was still wide awake and about to do another runner from the hospital - was putting on my socks - when they arrived with the damned trolley and I was off to have my throat cut! I woke up three hours later to see Sach beside me in my room and found out that I had a drain in my neck, which made me almost faint whenever I looked at it draining fluid from the wound. As soon as I saw Sach I just grabbed his hand and went straight to
sleep. It was nowhere near as bad as I had expected but not anything I want to go through again. My surgeon said it was the biggest thyroid he had ever removed and they were about to cut my breast bone open to remove it when it finally came out. I feel faint just writing this! I am on thyroxin every day for the rest of my life and my voice is still very deep and husky and I cannot sing a note. Sadly, one of the greatest joys in my life has been to sing, all day, every day and everywhere - not a professional voice but I have been told that it wasn’t half bad. Apparently my voice box may have been nicked and although I miss the joy of the singing I am more than grateful that there was no cancer. I tell everyone that I now know how Julie Andrew feels - only to be met by eyes rolling back into their heads - no compassion, for Julie or me!
My most recent big adventure was a family trip to Bali for Christmas, as was Mum’s wish. For years, my sister, her husband and her whole family have had a love affair with Bali, the people, the way of life, the climate and the food - most attractions that eluded me after my first trip to Bali thirty years previously when Su and I were flown there for a photo spread for Woman’s Own magazine. It wasn’t a magical experience, since both Su and I had sensitive stomachs and both were also very sensitive to unusual aromas, of which there were a lot in those days. It was nothing like it is today.
We got the all clear from Mum’s medical team and boarded the flight full of anticipation but not long after the plane took off Mum required oxygen and did so for the whole trip for various reasons related to her condition and medication which we could not have been forewarned about. The cabin crew were exceptional and on landing we were guided through customs and into our pre-booked car with a wonderful driver called Darna, who literally adopted Mum, even carrying her if he felt steps were too high or a path too tricky to manoeuvre.
Our first stop was in a lovely villa in Seminyak where we had two sections, one occupied by my sister and her husband and the other by Mum, Sach and me, with a beautiful pool in the middle. Beside the pool was a big, open-air kitchen where every morning the staff prepared a beautiful breakfast. Mum was able to relax with the help of occasional oxygen. There were lots of little lizard-like creatures - geckos - who scared the pants off me but apparently were harmless and ate mosquitoes. We were told not to drink the local water, so lots of bottled water was supplied. I kept forgetting and would clean my teeth from the bathroom tap - a huge no-no! I would then spend half an hour gargling with Listerine; after all, I had just had a ‘major operation’, as I say to tease people if they ask me to do something I don’t particularly feel like doing! We also booked massages - even Mum had a head massage! For me they were more like torture, which made me realise it is the tickling and stroking that I like, which Sach does for me, and not the actual bloody massage. I kept saying ‘Ouch’ a lot but everyone else was in their element. Sach just slid from the massage tables, which were all in beautiful open-air huts, into the pool and felt like he was in heaven.
The humidity was starting to make me wilt. I couldn’t have coped without the air-conditioning and the insane traffic was terrifying to watch. Hundreds of scooters, some with as many with five people on them - usually young children squeezed in between their family members. Darna said that in most scooter accidents it was the children who were usually hurt because they do not wea helmets. That night we had a beautiful meal at a hotel, Mum included. However, she was feeling the heat a bit by now. We then went back to our villa and the air-conditioning. Sach and I decided we would explore the area on our own and being plebs we quite preferred cute little restaurants and bars to the more luxurious establishments. We found some delightful places but many were not air-conditioned so we asked to be placed near, almost on top of, a fan. At one steamy but fun bar we saw a beautiful kitten playing near our stools and a chap sitting next to us said, ‘There goes breakfast.’ I nearly fainted! At most places a lovely cold towel was supplied as soon as one sat down. On the menu were some delicious-sounding smoothies and as it was so hot I drank two but forgot the consequences, because since I have no gall bladder that kind of drink makes an instant, one-way journey from my mouth to my opposite end! A few hours later that journey commenced with a few painful cramps. Fortunately, that was my only health incident. Sach too had one day when he was in bed with the worst fever and looked dreadful but the following day all was fine.
Meanwhile, poor Mum had a recurrence of an infection that blights her life regularly, so we decided that the best move was to take her to the BMI Hospital, which was not far away. It was just unfortunate timing. She was in good hands so Sach and I and Patsy and Carey took turns to visit her while the other couple went out to eat. The next night was our turn to go out so we headed for the highly recommended Potato Head Bar and restaurant, which is quite unique and lots of fun, except when I left my wallet with EVERYTHING in it on the back seat of the taxi we took back to the villa! As soon as we realised what had happened, Carey phoned Darna, our driver, who turned up in five minutes on a tiny scooter to take me back to the Potato Head bar, which ran the taxi we had used. I walked with Sach to meet him and he said that he was sorry but there was only room for me on the back and only one helmet - his! I noticed that when there are two males on a scooter, both in Australia and in Bali, the passenger never wraps his arms around the driver but hangs on to a type of handle on each side of the seat. Bugger that! I put both of my arms around his waist and linked them tightly as he took off at very high speed, weaving expertly around, between and almost under the traffic. He just kept laughing and patting my hands, trying to reassure me as I screeched every time the scooter tilted almost to the road! Thankfully, my wallet was found and was being held at the concierge. They are amazingly honest people, the Balinese. Then we headed back to the villa in monsoon-type rain. I was soaked but starting to actually enjoy the ride - well, he wasn’t unattractive! When we reached the villa I staggered off the bike and thanked him profusely and gave him a small tip - of the financial kind - and thinking I was making a joke, said, ‘We’ll have to get married now we have been so close together on the scooter.’ Not even a grin, but he was the most special and kind man.
We stayed in two other villas, one in lovely Ubud, where we had a meal at the exquisite Royal Pita Maha - paradise - even though we were caught in a storm, which only added to the fun of the experience. Balinese rain is never cold. Then we came back to Sanur and were upgraded into a villa that defies description; photos do not do it justice. Once again, the tastiest breakfasts were made on the premises by always-smiling staff. We even had the latest, curved-screen television and were close to some of the nicest establishments in Bali. We went to the beautiful Regent Hotel one night for drinks and I was stunned when one of the female staff ran over to us and embraced my sister and brother-in-law, because she remembered them from previous visits - quite charming! There was also a trio playing in the foyer that was as good as any I have heard anywhere in the world. Mum was in expert care at the hospital but it was a very worrying time. Our last night in Bali was spent in a very lovely villa but I have to say that I hated Kuta - really hated it! As my GP says, it has a perpetual bad-breath smell. It was dirty and filled with little pesky men saying in a strong Asian accent, ‘G’day mate’, and offering everything from Viagra to hash, or after looking at us, usually a boy rather than girl for a happy ending! I could easily have smacked them into the middle of next week - so annoying! We did have a superb Christmas Day dinner in the very beautiful Koris Restaurant, which has to be experienced to be truly appreciated. Later in the evening the lovely woman owner of the restaurant arrived and struck up a conversation with my sister and then gave each of us the most delicious cocktails. The incongruity of three lovely Balinese performers singing ‘Jingle Bells - dashing through the snow!’ was a delight.
We flew home the next day but Mum had to stay on for a few days to stabilise her condition. Patsy and Carey also stayed and they eventually flew home with Mum who had no problems. Looking back - and I know I’m
in the minority - Asia holds little appeal for me. I love a big city with its attractions all on hand. I guess I’m just getting older and not quite so adventurous; I still do enjoy an adventurous trip but probably more Disneyworld than Asia.
As I was writing this book, I showed an excerpt from an early draft to a female friend. It raised her ire so much that she suggested I take it out, because she felt my comment was too generalised and that I would be attacked on social media. However, now that I am in the final stages of this book I have decided to reinsert my opinion, because the book is about MY experiences and how they affected me, and if I am attacked, so be it! The cause of her angst was my statement that in my fifty-five years in the work force, it has been my experience that many, not all, issues involving persons who say one thing and mean another, or who stir up trouble behind the scenes, have involved women. I still occasionally experience this. Sacha agrees with me and can cite numerous examples. We both agree that if there is a falling out between men in a work situation they usually air their grievances, sometimes boisterously, but more often than not later that night they would meet in the pub for a drink! Conversely, most of our friends happen to be women or married couples. I stress that these are just MY feelings, which I feel entitled to express after so many years in the workplace.
One of the joys of our friendship with John Frost and Shane O’Connor is their kindness in offering us seats to almost all their shows. John is without doubt this country’s most prolific producer and he knows ‘everybody’. Last year he received the 2014 J. C. Williamson Award, the foremost honour that the Australian live entertainment industry can bestow. Through him I was honoured to be able to meet Julie Andrews and also meet and attend a dinner with the legendary Angela Lansbury, who was nicer than I ever imagined. His calendar is filled to the brim with upcoming events, including Hayley and Juliet Mills in Legends and the musical Anything Goes with Opera Australia, plus a combined touring production of The Sound of Music with Andrew Lloyd Webber and David Ian. And he has just announced Jekyll & Hyde, the musical, just to mention a few.
