“I would’ve done the same thing,” Kina told him honestly, echoing what she’d thought a moment ago. “I don’t want to be alone with Jeff, forget being side-by-side with him, for three days in the wilderness.”
Jonathan dropped his hand and they both laughed; glad the tension had been eased between them.
“I do have a question, though,” Jonathan asked, unable to hold it back. “Would you rather be stranded in Alaska in the cold or Africa in the heat?”
Kina laughed.
* * *
Kina and Jonathan watched as Roger and Darius tried to figure out what to do first to set up their camp. Kina was watching Roger through her lens and Jonathan had Darius. She supposed the men weren’t doing too badly, but it was obvious it was going to be a long two and a half days for them. Darius’ profession as a chemist and Roger’s vocation as a teacher weren’t going to help them much in the Alaskan wilderness.
They knew enough to try to set up their sleeping quarters first. Kina didn’t know much about wilderness camping either, as she wasn’t really a camping kind of girl, but she didn’t think the flimsy shelter they’d constructed would do them much good when it got dark and cold. But her role was to observe, so observe was what she was doing.
Kina and Jonathan continued to watch and film off and on while the guys tried to start putting together their raft. Their idea was to gather as many big logs as they could and attach them all together with the rope that Eddie had allowed each pair to have in their packs. On the surface it seemed like a good idea, but Kina wondered if the two men knew anything about what knots they should use, or how to lash the logs together, or even how many they should use. She mentally shrugged. It wasn’t as if she knew those things either.
Jonathan put down his camera and leaned his elbows on his upraised knees. They’d sat down a while back because it was hard work to stand all day filming. They’d used one of their emergency blankets for a barrier between the cold, hard ground and their backsides. He looked at Kina sitting next to him, until she too put down her camera. He smiled at her.
“Think they have a chance at winning?”
“No way in hell,” Kina answered, laughing quietly.
“Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island with four people you hate, or by yourself?”
“Easy. Definitely by myself.” Kina told him. Jonathan agreed.
Kina tried to think of a really good question. “Would you rather have the hiccups for the rest of your life or feel like you need to sneeze, but not be able to, for the rest of your life?”
Jonathan laughed so hard Roger and Darius looked over at them. Jonathan waved at them in apology before answering. “Oh my God, both of those options are so horrible. But I’d have to say the sneeze thing because I hate it when I have the hiccups. I can’t imagine having them nonstop forever.”
Kina just smiled. She couldn’t believe she was sitting here, in the middle of Alaska, on the job, enjoying the hell out of being with a man. She stared at Jonathan’s lips, wondering what they’d feel like on hers.
“You’d better stop looking at me like that, Kina, or I won’t be responsible for my actions,” Jonathan warned her seriously.
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you want to have your wicked way with me.”
Kina turned back toward the men struggling to tie two logs together, still grinning.
Jonathan shifted. He was hard and he hadn’t even kissed her yet. The look Kina had given him made him want to throw her over his shoulder and head off to their tent for the rest of the night. She was sexy as hell and he wanted nothing more than to spend hours worshiping her. He sighed. It wasn’t the time or the place, dammit. But if he had his way, he’d taste her lips before the night was up.
Later, as the sun was setting and after they’d eaten their pre-packaged meal, Kina watched uncomfortably as Darius tried unsuccessfully over and over, to light a fire. The men had gathered small sticks and some moss and had been trying to use the flint, with no luck. How anyone could fail at building a fire when they had a perfectly good flint was beyond her. She couldn’t stand it anymore. The men were miserable. She looked around, as if someone would be standing in the woods spying on them, and leaned over to whisper to Jonathan.
“Do you think I should bring them a couple of matches? I mean, they look awful. I know Eddie doesn’t want us helping them, but I hate just sitting here watching this.”
Jonathan grinned at her. For all her brashness, she really was a softie. He whispered back, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Kina smiled at him and walked toward Darius and Roger. She came back soon after, still grinning.
“Did they take them?” Jonathan asked, wondering if the men would try to play the game honestly or if they were too miserable to care anymore.
“They took them.” Kina said simply. There was Jonathan’s answer.
They watched as the fire the men were desperately trying to light suddenly came to life. The glow of the flames made its way across the distance to where Jonathan and Kina were sitting. There was no official rule that they couldn’t go and sit with the men, but therewas an unwritten one. Kina didn’t really want to go and sit by the fire anyway, she was enjoying being with Jonathan in their own little dark world.
As darkness fell and the temperature got colder, Jonathan put his arm around Kina and pulled her into his side. He argued with himself on whether or not he should make the play, but in the end decided to go for it.
God, he loved this woman. He hadn’t admitted that to himself before, but Jonathan knew it was true. Kina was hardworking, honest, and a softie deep, down inside. Thinking about what she’d said about her last boyfriend, he couldn’t stand the fact that someone had tried to crush her spirit. There was no way he’d want to tell her what to do all the time. Jonathan knew he’d have to try to curb his natural tendency to protect her, but he wasn’t as bad as his brother was with that. Dean was the true alpha in their family. Jonathan decided to try to keep things light between them for the moment.
“Would you rather be illiterate, but able to read minds, or just have the ability to read?”
Kina had to think about that one for a moment. At first it seemed like a hard question, but the more she thought about it the easier it got.
“Definitely just have the ability to read. Think about it, after a while you’d be so sick of hearing what others thought. ‘Should I order the nuggets or the burger?’ ‘Look at how fat he is.’ ‘I have to poop.’” She shuddered, but teased as she continued, “But I’d love to know what you’re thinking half the time when you’re looking at me.”
Jonathan looked at the woman snuggled into his side and told her honestly, “I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking how beautiful you are. I’m thinking how much I enjoy being around you and laughing with you. I’m thinking how badly I want to sink my hands in your hair and taste your lips. I’m wondering if you’ll taste half as good as I’ve imagined.”
Kina’s breath caught. Holy Mother of God, he was good. Goosebumps broke out all down her arms. He was never afraid to put himself out there, emotionally. Did she dare do the same?
“I’ve wondered the same thing.” She dared.
Jonathan immediately stood up and called over to the other men without responding to Kina’s words. “We’re hitting the sack. If you need anything, emergency-wise, just let us know. Otherwise, we’ll see you in the morning.”
The guys nodded and turned back to their fire, huddling as close as they dared to try to keep warm and ignoring the two camera crew.
Jonathan held his hand down to Kina. “Ready for bed?”
Chapter Seven
Wow. Jonathan was looking at her in that intense way he had. Kina reached up to take hold of his hand. She had no idea what he had in mind, but for now, in this place, she trusted him. Was he going to escort her to her tent? Had what she said turned him off? Maybe this being honest thing wasn’t working out after all.
&nbs
p; Jonathan pulled Kina upright and headed to the two small tents they’d put up earlier. They’d set them up so they were facing each other and the doors opened toward each other. Jonathan walked around to the back of the tents, away from the other men and their fire. He never let go of Kina’s hand. He stopped in front of the openings to the tents and turned Kina to face him. She really was tiny compared to him. He lifted her chin with one finger so she was looking into his eyes.
“There’s nothing more I’d like to do than to take you inside one of our tents and make love to you all night long. I want to see your muscular little body more than I want my next breath. Unfortunately...” Jonathan blew out a long breath of air. They both watched as the chilly temperature turned it into a visible vapor. “It’s way too cold to do what I want to do. To take the time, to do what I want to do.”
Kina’s breath was coming in pants. She couldn’t hide what she was feeling because of the coldness of the air. Every little puff that came from her mouth was being broadcasted to Jonathan, loud and clear. She guessed her being honest worked after all. She wanted the same thing. The images his words brought to her mind were hot as hell. She could almost imagine him braced over her, his hair hanging down and brushing over her chest. She shuddered. How could she want this so quickly? She thought about it. Did she just want sex or was it Jonathan? She decided it was definitely Jonathan. No one else had made her feel this way in a long time.
Jonathan ran a finger down Kina’s cheek and continued. “Even though it’s too cold to make love to you tonight, I want you next to me. I want to feel you along my body. I want to hold you all night. I need to feel every inch of you curled up next to me. I’ll understand if you think it’s too soon. I won’t force you, Kina, it’s up to you. Just know I want this. I want this more than anything.”
He stopped and actually took a small shuffling step away from her. He dropped his hands to his side. Kina was floored. He’d laid out what he’d wanted and was honest-to-God putting the decision in her hands. Matt would’ve just grabbed her and shoved her into the small tent.
She nodded at Jonathan. He took a step that brought him back in direct contact with her again. She could feel the heat from his body all along the front side of hers. He wasn’t touching her, but if she took a deep breath she knew her breasts would brush against his chest. She craned her neck to look up at him.
“Say the words, hon.”
Kina loved, and hated, that he wanted to hear her say what she wanted and he wouldn’t just take a small nod from her as agreement.
“I’d love to spend the night curled up next to you,” she told him simply and honestly. She had no idea where this was going, but for now she’d take it. It’d been so long since she’d cuddled with a man. She missed it. Matt hadn’t been a cuddler. Once he’d gotten off, he turned over, with his back to her and went to sleep. Kinashook her head. She had to stop comparing everything Jonathan did to Matt. It wasn’t fair to Jonathan or her. But then again, every time shedid compare them, Jonathan always came out on top, so maybe it wasn’t such a horrible thing after all.
Jonathan took her hand in his again and stepped toward his tent. He unzipped the opening and motioned for Kina to precede him into the small space. And it was small. These tents were made to hold one person. It’d be a tight fit, but Kina supposed that was what Jonathan envisioned.
Kina entered the tent, sat down, pulled off her boots and put them by the door. She scooted away from the opening and lay down on her side to give Jonathan room to enter. She watched as he first unzipped the other tent and grabbed the sleeping bag. He tossed it into his tent and then he also sat and removed his boots before scooting back and zipping up the flimsy door.
Kina was nervous. She wasn’t sure what to do. She should’ve known Jonathan would take control. He pulled off his outer jacket and placed it where their heads would be. He turned to Kina and reached for the zipper of her jacket as well. Kina watched as he unzipped her jacket. She sat up to help him remove the coat. After placing her jacket next to his, he lay down on his side and put his head in his hand and just stared at her.
“What are you looking at?” Kina said nervously, wondering when he’d start…whatever it was he was going to do.
“I’m savoring this moment. You have no idea how often I’ve dreamed about you in my bed.” He chuckled. “Although this isn’t really what I had in mind, but I’ll take what I can get.”
Kina didn’t know what to say to that. He was so different from any man she’d ever met before in her life and she was so out of her element.
“Do you know how beautiful you are?” Jonathan asked quietly, still not moving to touch her in any way.
“I’m not beautiful.” Kina told him honestly.
“You are,” he insisted, finally moving. He took his index finger and ran it lightly over her eyebrows. Then he ran his finger down her nose and lightly traced her lips. Next, his finger roamed over her cheek to her ear. He continued tracing the contours of her face.
“Your skin is so soft. I’ve never felt anything like it. Your nose is small and slightly turned up at the end. Your lips are full and every time you speak I imagine what they’d taste like. You have cute little ears and your hair is your crowning glory. Oh, you’re beautiful all right, Kina. So beautiful I have no idea how you haven’t been snatched up by anyone else yet. But you haven’t, and if I have anything to say about it, you won’t be.” He paused, looked away for a moment and then looked back into her eyes.
“What I’m about to say is probably going to freak you out, but I’m going to say it anyway. You’re mine.Mine. I don’t care how long it takes for you to realize it and understand that I’m not going anywhere. That I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you from anyone who wants to hurt you. I’m not going to cheat on you; I’m not going to look elsewhere if you can’t decide right away. I’ll be here, waiting for you.”
“Are you for real?” Kina couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“I’m for real. This is real.”
Kina closed her eyes. She was so confused. How could she even for a secondwant to hear that kind of thing from Jonathan? This wasn’t the kind of woman she was. She couldn’t deny his words made her feel good. More than good. They made her feel as if she finally had someone to count on. Who would be there for her? But at the same time, he was right, his words did freak her out. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with them. Her heart was beating what seemed to be a million miles an hour, she was scared, but his words also touched a place deep down inside of her. A part of her that wanted to be taken care of. That wanted to be wanted. She was confused and scared, but strangely, also felt safe. Here. With Jonathan. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t rush her.
When she didn’t say anything in response, Jonathan simply said, “Come here, it’s cold and we need to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
He turned over on his back and held his arm up so Kina could snuggle down against him. When she tentatively dropped down next to him, he grasped one of her arms and pulled it over his chest. Her head was resting on his shoulder and she could feel his arm go around her back. He reached over and pulled the extra sleeping bag over both of them.
Kina felt Jonathan’s arm rubbing sensuously over her back. Up and down. Up and down. God, it felt good. She was warm, comfortable lying against his chest and content. She never wanted the morning to come.
“Would you rather gain fifty pounds or lose fifty pounds?”
Kina giggled. She loved this. She was so relaxed. It wasn’t weird. It wasn’t creepy. It was awesome. He totally got that she didn’t want know what to say to his intimate words. He didn’t push. He didn’t insist she talk to him. He’d just changed the subject back to something light. They played the game for a while until she was so tired she couldn’t stay awake anymore.
“This is nice,” she said sleepily, losing the battle to stay awake. She was so comfortable.
“Thisis nice.” Jonathan whispered back. “S
leep, hon. I’ll be right here.”
Kina smiled and fell asleep immediately.
* * *
Kina slowly came aware of her surroundings. It was still mostly dark outside and she couldn’t understand what had woken her.
“No! Becky? Where are you? No!”
Kina suddenly remembered where she was and who she was with. She could feel Jonathan thrashing in the throes of a nightmare beside her.
“Becky?” he yelled louder, obviously distraught.
Kina put her hand on his chest. “It’s okay, wake up, Jonathan.” She spoke firmly, trying to break the grip the dream had on him.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jonathan sobbed, still stuck in whatever he was seeing in his dream world.
“Jonathan,” Kina said more firmly. “Wake up.”
After saying his name a few more times Kina saw his eyes open in the dim morning light and the bleakness she saw there made her gasp.
Jonathan shut his eyes tightly. Crap. He’d had the damn dream again. He’d hoped he’d put it behind him, but it was obvious he hadn’t.
“Talk to me,” Kina said quietly, rubbing her hand over his chest soothingly.
Jonathan wanted nothing more than to get up and pace, to get away from the sympathy he could see in her eyes in the minimal light in the tent. Could he let her in? Was it too soon? Would she think badly of him? He knew he had to tell her, he’d just hoped it would be later.
Without opening his eyes, he put his hand over his face and scrubbed. “I’m not sure this is the right time to tell you,” he told Kina honestly.
“If not now, when?” she asked stubbornly. She put her hand over his, resting on his face. “You said I was yours, I think I want that as well, but you have to talk to me. You have to let me in.”
Crap. She was right. Jonathan knew Kina was right, but this was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. He hoped like hell she wouldn’t look at him differently when he was done. His entire life felt like it was at stake. If she rejected him he didn’t know what he’d do.
Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) Page 6
